3 year age difference with kids

[jme829]

I don't believe there is a "best" age difference--best for who?? Our older two are 7 yrs apart, boy/girl, and they are best friends for life. He has always taken care of her and she has always looked up to him. They don't fight, they speak kindly to each other, and they do a lot of things together. We do things with both kids and with them separately. Many is the time i have had one in time-out only to have the other one crying & begging to please let the sibling go. Obviously there are times when the 19yo wants to go off with his friends but there are plenty of times when DS19 takes his12yo sister to see a chick flick just because he loves her.

I worried myself to death over the age difference, but in the end it has been the biggest non-issue of them all. Having the last two 2yrs apart was much, much harder

ITA...My first 2 are 6 years apart and my DS is 2 years apart from my middle. The gap between the first 2 was easy, the oldest was in Kindergarten when my dd6 was born so I had the first 2 months to get to know her, then after summer break I had 2 years to be with her (while oldest was in school) before DS came along. That was way harder, since my middle was only 2 she didn't go to school, wasn't potty trained, etc...plus ds was a velcro baby.....I didn't nurse him but he wanted to be with me constantly..But now, the younger 2 are best buddies....they play together and wreak havoc toghether...lol....yet they are still close with DD12...She is kind of like their 2nd mom now....she goes outside to play with them , helsp get them meals and baths...etc... BTW, the age difference between all my kids was planned (no oops babies, or trouble getting pregnant, just the way we decided to have them at the time)...I honestly don't know if I would space them the same if I had to start from scratch...Both age gaps have its pros and cons for our family.

 

[Poohnatic]

Mine are 3yrs, 3 months apart. My situation is a little different than most, my older son is on the autism spectrum and was undiagnosed until he was almost 6.

That said, once my younger son was 3 and they started playing with the same things, it got a lot easier. Until then, I think the older had a hard time with the amount of time his younger brother required. Now, it's great-they have the usual sibling squabbles, but Kevin adores his big brother and Neil learns social interaction from his little brother.

My younger sister and I were 3 1/2 years apart. Very different personalitiies, but we got along great.

The only thing I didn't like about the age gap was that I had gotten quite comfortable with getting a good night's rest. Nursed Kevin a long time, and no sooner would he be sleeping, that Neil would be up and ready for the day! (Now they know that Mommy is evil if she doesn't get sleep!)

Suzanne

 

[Snowysmom]

My boys are almost 4 years apart. It has worked out really well. They get along and do things together. At first older DS was not happy to share mom and dad with a younger brother but that did not last long. They are now 20 and 16 and have a good relationship. Older DS asks younger DS out to college for weekends and they have a great time. It has worked out well for us.

 

[Brier Rose]

My sister and I are 3 years apart and are very close. We did lots together growing up, EXCEPT like the same boys..which is a good thing!

My DD and DS are 7 years apart! Believe it or not, they have a lot of fun together.

 

[CapeCodTenor]

I think 3 years is a good age. My older brother and I are 4 years apart and that seems just about right.

 

[Fire14]

my brothers and I reach have 3 yrs between us and other than normal sib stuff we get along great.

 

[4greatboys]

My first 2 sons are 2 years, 9 months apart and it was a pretty good spacing I thought. Though they are only 2 years apart in school since the oldest has a Sept birthday. They have always gotten along pretty well though with boys there is always the competition to be the "alpha dog" lol.

My 2 little ones are 26 months apart and so far I have enjoyed that spacing. they have many of the same interests and play together well.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

My ds and dd are exactly 3 yrs, 5 mos apart. I think it's great. Sure, in the beginning, ds was wishing his little sister could play with him...he didn't realize she'd essentially be a "blob" at first. But, now that she's getting older, they love to play together. And, I don't yet see any age or gender issues in what they play. She'll play with his Buzz Lightyear toys, and watch Toy Story with him. He'll play dolls or tea party, and watch Cinderella with her. He's very protective of her, and they truly love each other. They are still young, but I really hope it continues for the rest of their lives. No, I'm not delusional, I know there will be sibling squabbles (there are already). I have an older sister (6 years older), and we squabbled, so I know it can happen. I just hope they will grow up close, and loving.

 

[tekmom]

My DS and DD are 4 years and 9 months apart and it has been perfect for us. They are really close and DD 8 admires DS13 so much. He was about to start kindergarten when she was born and I believe that because of the age gap, I was and still am able to enjoy each kid individually. for us, I can't imagine having another one in between.

 

[mickeyboat]

Mine are less than a year apart. It is too close. It was super hard when they were babies, has gotten easier now that they are in school (same grade), but I suspect that it will be pretty tough in the pre-teen/teen years.

BTW - I was destined to have two kids so close together. My father has two brothers less than a year apart, and my brother and I are less than a year apart. They each family had a third, about 11 years later. Hopefully fate won't be THAT cruel!

Denae

 

[rt2dz]

DS#1 and DS#2 are almost exactly 3 years apart (just 2 weeks shy). In so many ways it was wonderful. DS#1 was, and had been so no back sliding, completely potty trained day and night; he could completely dress himself; was in preschool; had a full identity, including friends; didn't need me for a lot; they can play together now that they are 5 & 2. The plan was another 3 year age gap, but, opps, it was 19 months instead.

Honestly, after having DS#2 and DS#3 so close together, they plan is another 1 1/2- 2 year age gap. In many ways it is nicer. But I don't think 3 years is so bad or so off that it is just too far apart. And under your circumstances, you DO need to wait to be off the meds before getting pg. Just my opinion.

 

[macraven]

mine are 3 boys and they are close in age.
pregnant with #2 when first one was 7 months old and pg with #3 when #2 was 10 months old.

had 2 in diapers at a time.

even though mine are very close in age, it was the best way for us.
we chose not to space them out.

 

[m&m's mom]

I had a professor in college do a lot of research on birth order and he said there are advantages and disadvantages to every period between kids but 3 years has the most advantages.
I planned the M's to be exactly 3 years apart but had a miscarriage and got pregnant 3 months later so the girls are 3 years and 3 months apart.
We think that is perfect. They play very well together and any closer and the competition between them would be too much and we do not want 2 in college at the same time for any longer than possible!