2 days! Last minute questions...

[DisneyVillain]

We’ve planned and we’re ready. Thanks for all your advice! Here is my “Modest Proposal” for our trip (and a few final questions):

I bought our tickets on eBay, and got a great price. (7 day hoppers w/ 5 days left) Luckily the baby is still small enough to pass for 2, so we didn’t have to buy it a pass.

We’ve packed our refillable mugs from 1991. (I hope they haven’t changed the way they look.)

My wife has a new breast-feeding bra so she can feed the baby while we wait in line, or at the shows or restaurants or pools. (I hope the baby doesn’t slurp too loudly in the quiet parts of the shows.)

I can’t wait to get some pictures of the shows and attractions. I’ve got a more powerful flash this time, and it should light things up enough to get some really good pictures. I’ll post some when I get back.

The kids say they don’t want to ride the “scary” rides, but I’m sure they will get used to them by the end of the week. (No point in spending all that money and not doing EVERYTHING!)

I estimate that if we hurry from the airport, we should be able to get into the Magic Kingdom just before Spectromagic starts. I’m sure we won’t have too much trouble getting through the crowds to get some front row seats for a great view.

We’re going to save a bundle by cooking in our room! Don’t you just love to wake up to the smell of bacon frying! It’ll probably fill the whole hallway. (I always hide the burner when we are done, in case there is some stupid rule against it.)

We always get a non-smoking room, because they are cleaner. They have never complained about us smoking in there.

My DD12 wants to know if there is anywhere you can get a Minnie Mouse thong, or will she have to make it herself? And will they let her wear it at the waterparks?

Are there still some attractions where a wheelchair will get you to the front of the line? We have to decide whether it is worth the money to rent one.

My wife has a HUGE purse. When we go to a buffet, she can take enough food back to the room for another whole meal! We like to get our money’s worth.

We won’t be doing that “take a nap every afternoon” BS, but we’re looking forward to checking out the pools at all the Deluxe Resorts. My children have even figured out a way to sneak us into Stormalong Bay. No reason to spend all that money if you can stay in the All-Stars and still use all the Deluxe amenities. The only problem with the All-Stars is that with a food court, there is no chance of being able to sneak out without paying.

You don’t have to worry about MY kids urinating in the bushes! My wife carries little Ziploc bags in her purse for emergencies. (I sure do hope they don’t leak!)

Do gay people get any special perks that first week in June? We aren’t gay, but we’ve got red shirts we can wear if it will get us any priviledges!

How soon do you have to stake out a place at Epcot or Fantasmic to get great seats? We’ll make my youngest go hold seats for us, no matter how early he has to get there.

What are the child abuse laws like in Florida? Some places they’ll arrest you just for disciplining your children! I hate it when I have to take them somewhere private for that.

Do you have any suggestions for how we can make our trip better for us? (We don’t care if it inconveniences others, because as long as WE are happy then that is what Disney magic is all about! Right?)

See you at Disney World! I’ve got some ribbons that are the color of Bud and guacamole barf, so look for us!

 

[laceemouse]

Very, very funny!!! I am still pretty new here but old enough to smell a rat (no offense) when one gets near! Newer people may not get it though! BTW, just which Disney Villian are you???

 

[DisneyVillain]

Originally posted by laceemouse
Newer people may not get it though!

I will be very surprised if this is taken seriously, but it sounds like fun!

BTW, what makes you think I'm not serious?

BTW, just which Disney Villian are you???

I like to think that I have the worst qualities of all of them.

 

[DisneyVillain]

I forgot to mention that we made a color copy of my mom's handicapped parking permit at Office Depot, so that should make parking easier. Since we'll be from out of state, I'm sure that no one will realize it is a counterfeit.




Please accept my apology for this shameless bump of my own post. (Hey, I like it!)

 

[B'rer Karen]

LOL This cracked me up. When I read the first couple I was like "geez, that's not exactly right, but I'm not going to start anything." And then I read about the breastfeeding and hoping the baby doesn't slurp to loudly and the bright flash for the shows I knew it was a joke. Very very funny though!

 

[BethR]

Have a great trip DV - and don't forget to post a trip report telling us how the use of all of your tips panned out.

 

[Mortlives]

Have you packed your obscene t-shirts? They give you free shirts if you wear them. (Then you can change back into the obscene ones once you're in the park).

Kungaloosh!
Mort.

 

[BrianD]

Here's a tip for you:

When the characters are out, have one of you wait in the line to greet them, and then when you get to the front of the line the rest of your family can join you.

No sense in having the kids wait in line when they could be doing other stuff.

 

[WeirdEyes]

LOL!!! You had me also until I read about the baby breast-feeding. I was like, "I can't believe they still let their 2+ year old breast-feed." And, "Why does this guy call his baby an IT?"

I hope I don't run into you on MY trip.

 

[DisneyVillain]

Originally posted by WeirdEyes
"Why does this guy call his baby an IT?"

Couldn't decide whether the baby was a boy or a girl. (Our youngest is 13.)

My favorite is the one re: DD12. (I can see where this one might not be funny if you have daughters.)

 

[AZKathy]

If the wheelchair thing doesn't work, try the "excuse me, my family is up there and I need to get up there with them....." and go ahead in line! Your family can do the same thing after you get near the front! Why should you wait in line, when you can just go to the front of the line? If you have a teenager, just have him jump the ropes to get ahead and you all could come up and meet with him!

Have a great trip.

 

[magic teacup]

Now don't forget to get all your family to walk together while at magic kingdom side by side in single file while going to various rides and attractions. That way everyone in your party can see the same view. Just ignore those rude people who are in a hurry to get to the fastpass kiosk and trying to get past your group......you were there first. Take your time and enjoy the leisurely walk.

 

[pegasusEH]

Thanks for the laugh - really enjoyed reading it!

 

[Tinks]

Oh! I'm so disappointed we will miss you! We arrive this Saturday and leave on the 31st. We'll be the family behind you with the large stroller who nudges you when you go too slowly through the park or get in our way. Have fun

 

[laurabelle]

Have fun, even if it's at the expense of others!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Very, very funny... Have a great vacation. and by the way, don't reuse the ziplocs after your kids have urinated in them. Your snacks may smell funny.

 

[Kaycee]

Very funny post!

The sad part is that we all have read posts about most of these things actually happening!!

Kaycee

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

The post was funny- on all levels.... BUT

My wife has a new breast-feeding bra so she can feed the baby while we wait in line, or at the shows or restaurants or pools. (I hope the baby doesn’t slurp too loudly in the quiet parts of the shows.)

What's wrong with that? Don't believe in breastfeeding or something? Or are you one that thinks if you breastfeed- it must be done in private or something.... like duck into a bathroom???

If I ignore the sarcasm in that tidbit- then the post is funny. But that's hard to ignore.

 

[ktglads]

My favorite has to be:

How soon do you have to stake out a place at Epcot or Fantasmic to get great seats? We’ll make my youngest go hold seats for us, no matter how early he has to get there

Don't know why, but that one made me laugh out loud!

Also, don't forget to bring your umbrellas and big hats to use and wear during all shows that people sit behind you! Oh, also don't forget to hold all buses and monorails for that last person in your group to mosey over from the back of the park

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

They'll do that? Let you hold it? I'll have to try that- thanks for the tip.

(LOL kidding....)