..........

[C.Ann]

 

[Briarmom]

I have a stupid question, as I have not read everything through...but can't her father go to the wedding with his daughter?

 

[C.Ann]

 

[Briarmom]

----------------------------

Yes - as far as I know, at this point he plans on going as well..

OK, well then I don't really understand why she'd have a problem going with her father. I'd insist on her going.

 

[KATHINOWA]

Has she stayed overnight with the grandparents before? I know my kids would feel uncomfortable travelling with the grandparents without my dh or I. As long as her father is going, I think she should have to go to the wedding. She can have daddy-daughter time and you can have mom-daughter time with your daughter. Maybe if it's worded that way she'll be more inclined to go.

Maybe she feels guilty about having a good time without mom?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Tough call!!!!

At 10 years old, my first thought was that, even with your DD's condition, that she SHOULD go. She needs to be able to live her life without undue stress and being attached to mama.

At 8 years old... NO, I would not expect her to go.

So, it sounds like an 'on the fence' situation.

I would want to base it on what would be realistic for your DGD... NOT what DGD seemed to want, based on fears. If she would be able to go and somewhat enjoy it, without having meltdowns, anxiety attacks, etc... I think that she should definitely go.

I agree with Brianmom above. I would not want her to be allowed to let her fears limit her life, and to whimp out and stay and hold mama's hand.

PS: I would also would give NO consideration to MIL's expectations... NONE whatsoever... Period. Granny should have NOTHING to do with it.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would strongly encourage, nearly insist on her going. It's not going to be healthy for her to start avoiding things in life because of her mom. Also her dad needs to be as important as her mom. In addition the wedding party needs her. I would also really think about counseling so she has a safe place to discuss her mom's illness and find ways to cope.

I agree with this.

 

[Handbag Lady]

What does the child's mother think about this?

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

Wow, I can totally understand why DGD is wanting to stay home. Imagine what may be going through her head especially if she has come home before and found her mother hospitalized. She is 10 and this is how a 10 year thinks. Her mother is one of the two most important people in her life. I wouldn't want to leave my mother either and i can't imagine either one of my DD's wanting to leave me no matter how much I encouraged them to go.
My opinion is that if the bride and groom cared so much about your SIL's family being there, they would have made every arrangement necessary so your DD could be there.
She is 10 and if she isn't part of the wedding party then i think it shouldn't be a big deal if she stays. This little girl wants to stay with her mother. Can you blame her?

 

[Wishing on a star]

After reading a bit more of the thread...
I totally agree with Tiggeroo and LoveMyGoofy above!

Very important points indeed.

 

[C.Ann]

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yep, I had my suspicians that MIL and the 'family' were calling the shots and making demands....

Your son-in-law should do what is best for him and his DD!!!!

If he can't attend the wedding by just going up for Saturday and Sunday, without a lot of negativity and grief, then I would be hesitant to attend as well!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So the son got his "marching orders". Yea, that is a little much for your DGD.

Well he could stand by his original plan and tell them that is all the time he has to spare.

If his mother "tells him" that his plans are unacceptable then I suppose bowing out is necessary.

Too much drama.

 

[lucyanna girl]

This is too much.

It's one thing to encourage your granddaughter to attend a family wedding with her father and grandparents for a day or two. It's something else to insist she spend four days away from her mother. Four days is an eternity to a ten year old if she is uneasy.

Good luck,

Penny

 

[Mom-to-2-Princesses]

Your poor SIL must be feeling like he is nothing but a "blip" on his Mom's radar. Doesn't sound like his Mom thinks or cares about her son's life or circumstances. And, wow, she already knew their were issues about her GD coming, and now she wants her to be away from her mom for 3 nights instead of one?

BUT, as someone posted earlier -- he should make the decision not based on the MIL. Does HE want to see his cousin married? If he does he should go, but on his terms. "I'm sorry but I wasn't planning on being gone that long and I don't want to be gone from my wife that long"

Good luck!

 

[Suzie Zoo]

It looks like things might be resolved. I try not to comment about other people's lives and without knowing the whole story I might be way off-base here, but I don't understand why the bride and groom didn't make sure it would be easier for your daughter to get to the wedding.

If it's that important for your granddaughter to go, it should be equally important for her parents to go as well.

That's just me... I don't want to ruffle feathers or anything since I obviously don't know anyone involved, but I think that the whole situation sounds rather insensitive to your daughter.

And big ((hugs)) to your granddaughter. She sounds like a sweetheart!