18 yr old is suing parents for college education

[4luv2cdisney]

her parents say they had her in therapy long before moving out, and there were some meds involved. if she was having disciplinary problems at school (including suspensions), bullying her sister, and other behavioral issues that may be effected by outside influences (like a boyfriend) it may have been a therapeutic recommendation that the parents take a stance-and draw a line in the sand as far as what they deemed as support vs. privilege (and an expensive private school along with the expenses of being a cheerleader and lacrosse player with a car of your own are hardly basic needs).

I know plenty of people whose parents had/have hard and fast rules to remain (as adults) living in their homes, and sometimes that can include not having a relationship with someone the parents see as a negative/disruptive influence.

Could be. And that would be understandable. The suspensions could be because of an emotional / mental disorder alone. We don't really know, I guess.

Seems this girl has taken the initiative to apply to colleges, get accepted, even has a 20K scholarship offer despite whatever her recent school problems were. The dad said he is not withholding her college fund (money that's already been set aside for her). Yet, he stopped paying her HS tuition......? Seems odd.

If it's a "my house, my rules" issue....well she's not living at home. So, sure, don't give her the car, don't pay for her sports and don't give her any money to live on. Make her get a job, but I can't imagine not paying for her schooling. She's obviously still doing well enough to graduate (seems like the school is backing her up to some extent) and she wants to go to college. So, if your genuine concern is about your child's well being and maybe a boyfriend leading her down the wrong path and you just want what's best for her, your response is to yank her chances of graduating HS and getting a college education? Something just doesn't add up to me.

Another article with some more detail:

http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=322908

 

[barkley]

Yes, it can be both ways. You kick someone out, tell them to never darken your doorstep again. But then you regret it, and ask them to return.

Do you have inside information, that you know for a fact social services didn't seek support for her? Or, if they didn't seek support, why?

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

'inside information'? I've been retired for years-and even if I were still an active employee the only time one state 'talked' to another was when they were arguing over which had the legal obligation for foster care (back when I worked if someone left the state it was a total aide discontinuance with reapplication in the new state unless the child was under foster care).

my perspective comes from being dss within a state that was/is VERY legal aide supportive-with private attorneys who were aware and 'worked' it. that said-if this situation had/was occurred in that state, and the attorney who let the girl move into his home was in any way aware of what I perceive as 'wiggle room' in state (n.j. ) law (as far as emancipation-i.e. parental support)-said attorney would have reported child abandonment to cps so that the 'dependent' could have been deemed a ward of the court. as a ward the 'dependent' would have been eligible to financial AND legal support (no charge for the legal portion-vs. what the attorney she lives with has supposedly expended for a DEPENDANT, and now seeks reimbursement for on her behalf).


this whole thing feels hinky to me-I have to wonder..............the girl's father is a retired police chief and now a township administrator. not sure how officials are elected/appointed/assigned in n.j., and what their empowerment/scope of power is-but I have to wonder if the this young woman is being grossly misled (and if she does have therapeutic issues) and it's found that there was some personal/political vendetta exercised through her-I hope the hell the repercussions against those behind it are equivalent to the 'child abandonment/abuse' that is being leveled against her parents.

 

[barkley]

http://theweek.com/article/index/204622/suing-dad-to-pay-for-college

Granted, the circumstances were different -- the father reneged on a promise to pay - but there is precedent for this kind of suit.

written agreement-if I were the kid I would have at least argued that an application for student loans results in no receipt, and that the written agreement between the parties only required application-not acceptance of any offering (I'm an EVIL parent-I would have put into writing "application and acceptance of any and all financial aide including but not limited to....loans").

 

[barkley]

And I couldn't find the original newspaper article, but this message board reported it.

https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-disc...-sues-mother-child-support.html#axzz2uxzbnVuf


This is not something new or novel.

New York, not New Jersey. New York has the age 18-21 laws on the books. one state's laws do not come into effect in another.




honestly, I don't mean to be a p.i.t.a.(I've been scared by the devil's advocate-AKA-legal aide).

 

[shortbun]

It sounds like she is a pro at manipulating facts to make herself look like the victim. Seems her friends parents aren't all that smart.

Her parents haven't paid her high school tuition. They told her to leave because they didn't like her boyfriend. I'm betting on the girl being truthful and the parents/father being a control freak. She's an honor student and a scholarship bound athlete. I'd also bet that daddy is abusive. His statements were so practiced. I've seen a few dads like him. My son is also a senior in high school. I saw a father throw his daughter against a fence once; he literally lifted her off her feet and threw her. He described himself as a 'loving father' when children services responded to the half dozen calls they received. He was also a police officer. I can not imagine what went on in that home. I have a very good friend who is a PO and he's wonderful but he doesn't deny that many of his brothers in blue are very difficult spouses and parents. He says it's something about not being able to draw a line between work and home.

 

[lizzi6692]

I guess I'll be the odd man out. My gut is leaning towards believing the daughter over the parents. The girl is an honors student and an athlete. I went to school with spoiled little rich kids, they usually weren't dedicated enough to do both those things. Also if a kid gets that spoiled the parents rarely turn around and do something like this. So I don't buy that these parents spent her whole life spoiling her and then out of nowhere decided to play hardball. I also grew up with parents that refused to acknowledge their faults and everything that they've said sounds exactly like things my parents have said to me. The fact that they're refusing to pay the bill for her high school doesn't sit right with me. Usually going to private school is a decision made by the parents not the kids, so they should be obligated to pay for it. And I read statements from the school that said they had seen her parents treat her badly. These accusations aren't just coming from her.

 

[lizzi6692]

Her parents haven't paid her high school tuition. They told her to leave because they didn't like her boyfriend. I'm betting on the girl being truthful and the parents/father being a control freak. She's an honor student and a scholarship bound athlete. I'd also bet that daddy is abusive. His statements were so practiced. I've seen a few dads like him. My son is also a senior in high school.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees that. The school also said that it was meetings with him and the daughter that led them to call DCF(it's not called that in NJ but I forget the exact acronym they use). It was not just on the girl's word alone. And the dad is a former cop. Of course he knows how to act in a situation like this to make himself look like the good guy.

 

[EMom]

Her parents haven't paid her high school tuition. They told her to leave because they didn't like her boyfriend. I'm betting on the girl being truthful and the parents/father being a control freak. She's an honor student and a scholarship bound athlete. I'd also bet that daddy is abusive. His statements were so practiced. I've seen a few dads like him. My son is also a senior in high school.

She can go to public school. It's free. Lots of people go there. Then she can go to community college while she works to pay her bills. Again, lots of people do that.

Even if the parents are control freaks, it is THEIR money. With money comes strings. She can't argue that she's an adult at 18 and entitled to make her own decisions at the same time she expects them to foot her rather comfy lifestyle.

I paid for my own college education. It can be done. If she's as smart as she asserts, she can certainly find a way to pay for college and live life on her own terms. A college education is not something you are entitled to. It is not a right. It is a privilege.

It seems her boyfriend was more important to her than her parents or a college education. Fine, let him pay her tuition.

 

[EMom]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees that. The school also said that it was meetings with him and the daughter that led them to call DCF(it's not called that in NJ but I forget the exact acronym they use). It was not just on the girl's word alone. And the dad is a former cop. Of course he knows how to act in a situation like this to make himself look like the good guy.

Again, even if the parents are unreasonable control freaks, it is THEIR money. It is a cold, hard fact that after you reach adulthood, anything your parents do for you is a bonus. I cannot count the number of people I know who realized they could not do as they pleased and still get bankrolled by mom and dad. Your parents are not your Adult ATM.

When they say, "Jump!" you may have to ask, "How high?" depending on the parents. At any point that you decide you are not willing to jump through their hoops, you are free to cut the apronstrings and pay your own way. That is life. Better she learns it at 18.

 

[lizzi6692]

She can go to public school. It's free. Lots of people go there. Then she can go to community college while she works to pay her bills. Again, lots of people do that.

Even if the parents are control freaks, it is THEIR money. With money comes strings. She can't argue that she's an adult at 18 and entitled to make her own decisions at the same time she expects them to foot her rather comfy lifestyle.

I paid for my own college education. It can be done. If she's as smart as she asserts, she can certainly find a way to pay for college and live life on her own terms. A college education is not something you are entitled to. It is not a right. It is a privilege.

It seems her boyfriend was more important to her than her parents or a college education. Fine, let him pay her tuition.

Yes because it's reasonable to expect a senior in high school to change schools halfway through the year. They entered into a contract with the school, most likely prior to her turning 18 assuming that it is on a yearly basis, they are obligated to fulfill their end of that contract.

 

[lizzi6692]

Again, even if the parents are unreasonable control freaks, it is THEIR money. It is a cold, hard fact that after you reach adulthood, anything your parents do for you is a bonus. I cannot count the number of people I know who realized they could not do as they pleased and still get bankrolled by mom and dad. Your parents are not your Adult ATM.

When they say, "Jump!" you may have to ask, "How high?" depending on the parents. At any point that you decide you are not willing to jump through their hoops, you are free to cut the apronstrings and pay your own way. That is life. Better she learns it at 18.

Since the government has decided that 9 times out of 10 your parents income must be considered when it comes to financial aid therefore it's only a matter of time before a judge rules that parents are in fact obligated to help pay for college. Either that or they need to make it easier to be declared an independent student(most college kids aren't ready to make a commitment and get married at 18 like I did to get my independent status, it wasn't the only reason I did it but it was certainly a nice benefit).
Also, there is NJ case law that states attending college negates the presumption of emancipation at 18, so obviously they disagree that paying for college is a bonus.

 

[EMom]

Yes because it's reasonable to expect a senior in high school to change schools halfway through the year. They entered into a contract with the school, most likely prior to her turning 18 assuming that it is on a yearly basis, they are obligated to fulfill their end of that contract.

It all depends on the contract. Maybe it has a 30 day notice clause. If the parents had any brains, they followed the contract and gave any notice needed. If not, they'll be liable for the debt.

What if her dad lost his job and could not afford tuition? People drop out of private school and have to finish out the year at public school all the time. It is indeed perfectly reasonable to have to change schools during your senior year. It may not be ideal, but it's workable. Children are not owed an ideal life.

This girl is cutting off her nose to spite her face. She could have just zipped it for 6 more months, finished high school and then gone off to college where she could have pretty much done as she pleased so long as she put up a good front for her parents, but noooooooooooo. She may be an honors student, but she lacks the common sense to figure that out.

Right now, the parents may be changing their wills, life insurance policy beneficiaries, etc. All because the daughter wanted things her way, but not at any cost to her. Not smart.

There is no way of knowing what conditions the parents set or whether they were reasonable. From what I've read, the worst they asked was that she drop or consider dropping her boyfriend. It's not as if a million parents haven't asked the same thing of their daughters. But even if they were hardnosed and somewhat unreasonable, it is their money to spend as they please. And if she refused to follow their rules, at 18, they cannot MAKE her follow them. They can, however, refuse to pay for college. Why should they sacrifice money that could go toward retirement for a daughter who wants it all on her terms?

If she is entitled as an adult, to move out and refuse to live by their rules, then she is old enough to support herself. Plenty of 18 y.o.s do just that. At 18, they cannot force her to stay under their roof because she is AN ADULT. And adults pay their own way.

 

[EMom]

Since the government has decided that 9 times out of 10 your parents income must be considered when it comes to financial aid therefore it's only a matter of time before a judge rules that parents are in fact obligated to help pay for college. Either that or they need to make it easier to be declared an independent student(most college kids aren't ready to make a commitment and get married at 18 like I did to get my independent status, it wasn't the only reason I did it but it was certainly a nice benefit).
Also, there is NJ case law that states attending college negates the presumption of emancipation at 18, so obviously they disagree that paying for college is a bonus.

Maybe she should have gotten the lawyer to sue for emancipation instead of suing for support. If the court says they have to pay her college expenses, in their shoes I would pay for community college, period. Room and board? Forget it. You get that free when you live at home.

She may not be able to get grants, but she can get loans. Loans that SHE pays back. And I know this is revolutionary thinking, but she can get a job and work while attending college. It might actuallty do her some good.

Negating the presumption of emancipation by going to college does not mean you are NOT emancipated. It just means the parents must rebut the presumption. And the fact that the daughter moved out and refused to live by their rules would go a long way toward rebutting that presumption.

This girl wants to have her cake and eat it too. And she wants a four tiered, jewel encrusted cake at that.

 

[lizzi6692]

Maybe she should have gotten the lawyer to sue for emancipation instead of suing for support. If the court says they have to pay her college expenses, in their shoes I would pay for community college, period. Room and board? Forget it. You get that free when you live at home.

She may not be able to get grants, but she can get loans. Loans that SHE pays back. And I know this is revolutionary thinking, but she can get a job and work while attending college. It might actuallty do her some good.

Negating the presumption of emancipation by going to college does not mean you are NOT emancipated. It just means the parents must rebut the presumption. And the fact that the daughter moved out and refused to live by their rules would go a long way toward rebutting that presumption.

This girl wants to have her cake and eat it too. And she wants a four tiered, jewel encrusted cake at that.

The government won't give you loans if your parents can afford to send you to college(according to their standards) and no bank is going to give an 18 year old a loan without a cosigner. And I don't remember the exact field of study she wants to pursue but I do remember it's not one that would allow someone to have a good enough job to be able to pay for the degree and still do well.
And you are going on the assumption that her parents are telling the truth. Seeing as she has her school and a friend's parent(who happens to be a lawyer himself) who is willing to not only take her in but also pay $12,000 to hire her a lawyer so she can sue her parents on her side I just have a hard time believing anything that comes out of their mouths.

 

[teller80]

And I couldn't find the original newspaper article, but this message board reported it.

https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-disc...-sues-mother-child-support.html#axzz2uxzbnVuf


This is not something new or novel.

Ultimately she lost. But this was NY not NJ

http://www.totaldivorce.com/news/articles/children/adult-child-support.aspx

Child support is usually paid from one parent to the other in order to support children until the age of 18, but in some circumstances child support payments can continue until age 21. An 18-year-old woman from Long Island, New York was counting on a state law that makes children eligible to receive child support from their parents until age 21 in cases that involve the child being abused or kicked out of the home by the parent. According to a Newsday report, Maria Guevara moved out of her mother's house on her 18th birthday and then sued to collect child support.

Guevara voluntarily moved out of her mother Gina Ubillus's home in 2005 because she said that her mother was too strict to live with. She then sued her mother for child support saying that the reason she left home was to "escape an abusive, unloving and unsupportive environment." Her primary complaints about her mother were that she refused to give her money to go out to eat and buy fashionable clothing and that she set an early curfew.

Guevara's request for child support from her mother was denied by a Nassau County support magistrate, but she decided to take her case a step further and filed an appeal. She was shot down again by the New York Court of Appeals. The appeals court ruled that Ubillus had no obligation to support her daughter, who was legally an adult, because there was no evidence that Guevara was ever physically abused and had decided to move out of her mother's home voluntarily because she didn't like the rules there.

Under New York divorce law, children between the ages of 18 and 21 fall into a special category. While they are legally adults, they may still have child support eligibility. If the child can prove to the court that their parent or parents threw them out of the house or that they left because they were physically abused in the home, the law says that they are entitled to collect child support from their parents.

In Guevara's bid to collect child support from her mother, she could not prove that she was physically abused and admitted that she had left home on her own. The court could not award her child support payments from her mother simply because Guevara felt that her mother's rules were unreasonable. If teens could voluntarily move out and collect child support from their parents every time they didn't like the guidelines and curfews that their parents enforce in the home, the courts would be absolutely overwhelmed and crippled by the amount of requests.

 

[NaLisa]

Yes because it's reasonable to expect a senior in high school to change schools halfway through the year. They entered into a contract with the school, most likely prior to her turning 18 assuming that it is on a yearly basis, they are obligated to fulfill their end of that contract.

ITA with this. The parents should fulfill their agreement with the school. Because they're unwilling to do that, it makes me question the rest of their side of the story. Plus, it's telling to me that the father is the one talking to the media, not the daughter. She filed her legal papers and is awaiting the court's decision, while the father is stating to the world that his daughter is "spoiled" and airing the family's dirty laundry to everyone.

The truth of the situation is probably in the middle of the two stories, and I will be interested to see what happens in court.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

New York, not New Jersey. New York has the age 18-21 laws on the books. one state's laws do not come into effect in another.




honestly, I don't mean to be a p.i.t.a.(I've been scared by the devil's advocate-AKA-legal aide).

Different rules, to be sure. The NY rule is that parents are generally obligated to provide support to age 21 unless they show the child is emancipated. The NJ rule assumes a child is emancipated at 18 unless proven otherwise.

But the concept is the same. Did the child willingly leave home to avoid parental authority and thereby emancipate herself, or was there an abuse, unreasonable situation in the parental home which requires the parent to continue to support a child not living with that parent?


Incidentally, the Nassau County case I quoted above -- the mother's rules were found to be strict but reasonable, and the daughter lost her case.


The girl in the NJ case is being portrayed as spoiled and entitled. If that is the truth, her case doesn't have a chance. But my guess is there!s something more going on between parents and child than the media has been able to show us. I don't know if the parents' conduct rises to the level of "unreasonable", but I would like to see how it all plays out during the court proceedings.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

'inside information'? I've been retired for years-and even if I were still an active employee the only time one state 'talked' to another was when they were arguing over which had the legal obligation for foster care (back when I worked if someone left the state it was a total aide discontinuance with reapplication in the new state unless the child was under foster care).

my perspective comes from being dss within a state that was/is VERY legal aide supportive-with private attorneys who were aware and 'worked' it. that said-if this situation had/was occurred in that state, and the attorney who let the girl move into his home was in any way aware of what I perceive as 'wiggle room' in state (n.j. ) law (as far as emancipation-i.e. parental support)-said attorney would have reported child abandonment to cps so that the 'dependent' could have been deemed a ward of the court. as a ward the 'dependent' would have been eligible to financial AND legal support (no charge for the legal portion-vs. what the attorney she lives with has supposedly expended for a DEPENDANT, and now seeks reimbursement for on her behalf).


this whole thing feels hinky to me-I have to wonder..............the girl's father is a retired police chief and now a township administrator. not sure how officials are elected/appointed/assigned in n.j., and what their empowerment/scope of power is-but I have to wonder if the this young woman is being grossly misled (and if she does have therapeutic issues) and it's found that there was some personal/political vendetta exercised through her-I hope the hell the repercussions against those behind it are equivalent to the 'child abandonment/abuse' that is being leveled against her parents.

You spoke as if you knew something, when in fact what you're doing is looking at this media sound bite with your professional experience in mind. In other words, an educated guess.


I haven't read all the media reports, but I did find it interesting that the school called the New Jersey child protective services agency. Not the girl, the school. That should prove interesting in court.

 

[shortbun]

She can go to public school. It's free. Lots of people go there. Then she can go to community college while she works to pay her bills. Again, lots of people do that.

Even if the parents are control freaks, it is THEIR money. With money comes strings. She can't argue that she's an adult at 18 and entitled to make her own decisions at the same time she expects them to foot her rather comfy lifestyle.

I paid for my own college education. It can be done. If she's as smart as she asserts, she can certainly find a way to pay for college and live life on her own terms. A college education is not something you are entitled to. It is not a right. It is a privilege.

It seems her boyfriend was more important to her than her parents or a college education. Fine, let him pay her tuition.

I say it's breech of promise and they are using their money to control her. She will be lucky when she realizes she can do it herself and detaches from them completely. I paid for my own education too but when your parents have told you all along and then they dangle their money to get what they want...bad parenting and she will never trust them again. Sad that they have to lose their daughter but they/he deserves it. Sorry for her mom who is most likely very distraught and I can not imagine a mother deserting her child-the child who is an honor student and scholarship athlete, who will most likely leave her boyfriend after a year away at school-choosing her spouse over her daughter. There is much grief in that family's future. Would any of you actually ostracize your children like that? Throw the dice and lose. Oh well.

 

[trip]

You spoke as if you knew something, when in fact what you're doing is looking at this media sound bite with your professional experience in mind. In other words, an educated guess.


I haven't read all the media reports, but I did find it interesting that the school called the New Jersey child protective services agency. Not the girl, the school. That should prove interesting in court.

Not sure of NJ law but usually teachers/schools are considered "mandatory reporters", so if the girl said something to a teacher or other school employee they would be required to report it to the state.