18 yr old is suing parents for college education

[JennaDeeDooDah]

You spoke as if you knew something, when in fact what you're doing is looking at this media sound bite with your professional experience in mind. In other words, an educated guess.


I haven't read all the media reports, but I did find it interesting that the school called the New Jersey child protective services agency. Not the girl, the school. That should prove interesting in court.

Not sure of NJ law but usually teachers/schools are considered "mandatory reporters", so if the girl said something to a teacher or other school employee they would be required to report it to the state.

I was going to say the same thing. Here in Texas, no matter how much we might question the accusation, we are required to report it to CPS (Child Protective Services) if a student says that he or she is being abused. I'd wager it's the same way in New Jersey. Not saying that they didn't suspect something, because I don't know, but that is a possibility. I already read that protective services found nothing other than the child was spoiled. That says something, too, I believe.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I say it's breech of promise and they are using their money to control her. She will be lucky when she realizes she can do it herself and detaches from them completely. I paid for my own education too but when your parents have told you all along and then they dangle their money to get what they want...bad parenting and she will never trust them again. Sad that they have to lose their daughter but they/he deserves it. Sorry for her mom who is most likely very distraught and I can not imagine a mother deserting her child-the child who is an honor student and scholarship athlete, who will most likely leave her boyfriend after a year away at school-choosing her spouse over her daughter. There is much grief in that family's future. Would any of you actually ostracize your children like that? Throw the dice and lose. Oh well.

Well said.

 

[lizzi6692]

I was going to say the same thing. Here in Texas, no matter how much we might question the accusation, we are required to report it to CPS (Child Protective Services) if a student says that he or she is being abused. I'd wager it's the same way in New Jersey. Not saying that they didn't suspect something, because I don't know, but that is a possibility. I already read that protective services found nothing other than the child was spoiled. That says something, too, I believe.

The school has said they called cps after they had a meeting with her and her father. They did not just call on her word alone. Also, a teacher witnessed her interacting with her mother and said the mother acted aggressively and told her(the daughter) that she never wanted to speak to her again.
And I don't think the comment from cps means much of anything. The father is a cop, he probably knows a thing or two about how to fool cps. Heck, even if you're not a cop it's not hard to get cps to go away. They've got to see something really bad and obvious before they'll step in past the initial visit that they're supposed to make for every report.

 

[kmb584]

I think she sounds like an entitled snot.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Not sure of NJ law but usually teachers/schools are considered "mandatory reporters", so if the girl said something to a teacher or other school employee they would be required to report it to the state.

True. But I also read that the school told her not to go home. I admit to being very curious about that .

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[EMode]

I think the girl sounds like an entitled snot too. The fact that has is an honor student and an athlete does not make her any more trustworthy than anyone else. I agree with the poster who says she can't have it both ways, if she chooses to move out because she's an adult then she chooses to support herself like an adult.

The only thing I have issue with is that the parents should be paying her HS tuition. They entered her into that school when she was a minor and agreed to pay the school X amount of dollars so they should honor that agreement.
I do not believe a parent has an obligation to pay for their child's college education.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

The school has said they called cps after they had a meeting with her and her father. They did not just call on her word alone. Also, a teacher witnessed her interacting with her mother and said the mother acted aggressively and told her(the daughter) that she never wanted to speak to her again. And I don't think the comment from cps means much of anything. The father is a cop, he probably knows a thing or two about how to fool cps. Heck, even if you're not a cop it's not hard to get cps to go away. They've got to see something really bad and obvious before they'll step in past the initial visit that they're supposed to make for every report.

Interesting point.

I think the bottom line is that the attorney felt he had enough evidence to bring the matter to court. The parents are certainly not angels or innocent victims here. There is definitely something wrong in that family. Whether it rises to a level of " unreasonable" which would justify thedaughter's claim remains to be seen.

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[The Mystery Machine]

So is it crystal clear WHY she left home? How much is this HS? The whole thing is nuts to be honest.

I cannot imagine as a parent not paying for my child's finishing HS even if I was ticked to the max at them. That is just weird to me. Why would you do that to your child?

As far as college, she is going to have to take her lumps there unfortunately.

Next yr she could do this however she will have to take a gap year before she starts college.

Hire an attorney and petition the court to have your parents' parental rights terminated, on the grounds that they are refusing to provide for your support. (The courts typically require that the parent have ceased all support and contact with the child for at least a year before they will consider such an abandonment case. Abandonment is one of the situations in which the school can grant a dependency override.)

http://www.finaid.org/otheraid/parentsrefuse.phtml

 

[NaLisa]

I was going to say the same thing. Here in Texas, no matter how much we might question the accusation, we are required to report it to CPS (Child Protective Services) if a student says that he or she is being abused. I'd wager it's the same way in New Jersey. Not saying that they didn't suspect something, because I don't know, but that is a possibility. I already read that protective services found nothing other than the child was spoiled. That says something, too, I believe.

The father is the one who told the media that CPS (or whatever it's called in NJ) decided his daughter was "spoiled." I seriously doubt that the actual report on the case used the word "spoiled;" all we have to go on is the father's account.

To me, it's telling that the other adults in the young woman's life (school personnel, friend's family) are on her side. They know much more about this case then we do, and they're assisting her in the court case against her parents.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

The school has said they called cps after they had a meeting with her and her father. They did not just call on her word alone. Also, a teacher witnessed her interacting with her mother and said the mother acted aggressively and told her(the daughter) that she never wanted to speak to her again.
And I don't think the comment from cps means much of anything. The father is a cop, he probably knows a thing or two about how to fool cps. Heck, even if you're not a cop it's not hard to get cps to go away. They've got to see something really bad and obvious before they'll step in past the initial visit that they're supposed to make for every report.

But, to play devil's advocate, she could have claimed in that meeting that she was being abused. Even if the parents denied it, the school would still have to report it.

True. But I also read that the school told her not to go home. I admit to being very curious about that .

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And, if a student told me she was being abused, I would likely tell her not to return home, as well.


Fact is, we really don't know what is going on. She certainly fits the role of spoiled brat, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she is on. We also don't know that the parents are heartless monsters. It seems odd to me that she would have gone all this way through school doing multiple extracurricular activities without anyone suspecting anything until now, and it also seems odd that she has been as spoiled as she has been and that her parents are just now laying down the law. I'm not a legislator, so I don't get to make the laws, but I do feel like she is 18 years old and an adult. I don't feel her parents should be financially responsible for her for the rest of her college career. I don't believe that at 18, you should get all of the privileges of being an adult (I can vote, move out, and make all of my own decisions) with someone else getting the financial responsibilities. I think this is a ridiculous case and whether she was kicked out or moved out on her own, her parents should not be financially responsible for a private school. We have public schools. They are not required to give her a car. Lots of teens and even adults don't have a car. And they shouldn't be required to send her to college. Lot's of people pay their own way every single day in this country.

 

[lizzi6692]

But, to play devil's advocate, she could have claimed in that meeting that she was being abused. Even if the parents denied it, the school would still have to report it.

And, if a student told me she was being abused, I would likely tell her not to return home, as well.

Fact is, we really don't know what is going on. She certainly fits the role of spoiled brat, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she is on. We also don't know that the parents are heartless monsters. It seems odd to me that she would have gone all this way through school doing multiple extracurricular activities without anyone suspecting anything until now, and it also seems odd that she has been as spoiled as she has been and that her parents are just now laying down the law. I'm not a legislator, so I don't get to make the laws, but I do feel like she is 18 years old and an adult. I don't feel her parents should be financially responsible for her for the rest of her college career. I don't believe that at 18, you should get all of the privileges of being an adult (I can vote, move out, and make all of my own decisions) with someone else getting the financial responsibilities. I think this is a ridiculous case and whether she was kicked out or moved out on her own, her parents should not be financially responsible for a private school. We have public schools. They are not required to give her a car. Lots of teens and even adults don't have a car. And they shouldn't be required to send her to college. Lot's of people pay their own way every single day in this country.

The school has said it was the way the father treated her during the meeting that lead to calling cps, not just what she said during it.
And the parents entered into a contract with the school and assuming the contract began at the start of the school year that means the daughter is not part of it because she was a minor. I really don't see how they're going to get out of paying for the last year of high school at minimum.

 

[4luv2cdisney]

I was going to say the same thing. Here in Texas, no matter how much we might question the accusation, we are required to report it to CPS (Child Protective Services) if a student says that he or she is being abused. I'd wager it's the same way in New Jersey. Not saying that they didn't suspect something, because I don't know, but that is a possibility. I already read that protective services found nothing other than the child was spoiled. That says something, too, I believe.

Those were the Dad's words.

How many times do you think CPS has gone into a home "found nothing" only to return again and again until they find something or it is too late? According to the dad, they were there 3 hours and "discontinued the investigation". Sounds thorough to me.

The Dad's states that the college funds are still available to her, but admits to stopping the payments on her high school education. How does this make sense to anybody?

There is a school employee that witnessed a "rough encounter" between the mom and daughter. Mom called daughter a "foul name" and said that she didn't want to speak to her again. How bad is it when you (as a parent) behave this way in front of a teacher / administrator? How much worse is it behind closed doors?

I would love to hear more info on the girls suspensions, the medication and counseling and the alleged abuse.

I think the only way the girl will fully win is if she can prove she was kicked out. She says she was, but then also states she was advised by the school not to return home. So, I guess we would need to know what happened from there.....after CPS went to the home. Did they make contact with the daughter? Did she stick to her story? Did they interview anyone at the school? There's always more than 1 side to a story, what made them believe one side over another? Was there any attempt by CPS to get the family back together?

Hope there is a follow up to this story after the court hearing.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

Those were the Dad's words.

How many times do you think CPS has gone into a home "found nothing" only to return again and again until they find something or it is too late? According to the dad, they were there 3 hours and "discontinued the investigation". Sounds thorough to me.

The Dad's states that the college funds are still available to her, but admits to stopping the payments on her high school education. How does this make sense to anybody?

There is a school employee that witnessed a "rough encounter" between the mom and daughter. Mom called daughter a "foul name" and said that she didn't want to speak to her again. How bad is it when you (as a parent) behave this way in front of a teacher / administrator? How much worse is it behind closed doors?

I would love to hear more info on the girls suspensions, the medication and counseling and the alleged abuse.

I think the only way the girl will fully win is if she can prove she was kicked out. She says she was, but then also states she was advised by the school not to return home. So, I guess we would need to know what happened from there.....after CPS went to the home. Did they make contact with the daughter? Did she stick to her story? Did they interview anyone at the school? There's always more than 1 side to a story, what made them believe one side over another? Was there any attempt by CPS to get the family back together?

Hope there is a follow up to this story after the court hearing.

To the first part, it has to be pretty bad and I agree that is not going to look good in court.

Regarding the second, I don't see how the two can't both be true. It is possible that she was kicked out in a rough manner and she told a teacher, principal, etc. about it. Then, the parents changed their mind and asked her to come home, but due to the circumstances she left, the school worker advised her to not go back. Just one thought I had.

 

[Mkrop]

The father is the one who told the media that CPS (or whatever it's called in NJ) decided his daughter was "spoiled." I seriously doubt that the actual report on the case used the word "spoiled;" all we have to go on is the father's account.

To me, it's telling that the other adults in the young woman's life (school personnel, friend's family) are on her side. They know much more about this case then we do, and they're assisting her in the court case against her parents.

I have a brother who back in the day had a bunch of people convinced that my mom was the devil incarnate, he pulled a stunt in college similar to all of this minus the lawsuit. Did not want to abide by my mom's rules, thought everything should be handed to him on a silver platter. Convinced his GF, her parents and a score of his newer friends that my mom was controlling and manipulative. My mom also did not like his GF (none of us did), they wound up married and divorced.

If you knew my mother she is the least controlling person I know. She had 2 other children, one still living at home who had none of these issues. His high school friends were at first supportive but even then they came to the conclusion that his story was too far fetched. But the GF and her parents stood by him, they believed that "poor guy".


I am happy to say that once he got away from the GF, who turned out was the one controlling him, met a great girl and got remarried and has a better relationship with my mom.

So I dont by much into the fact that she was able to convince others and the school to buy her story.

She is owed nothing once she turned 18 and left. The parents should pay the tuition up until the day she moved out, they are oligated for that. My DS16 goes to a private HS, it way his choice, we made the choice with him but we did not force him there so I dont buy that either. And if he pulled these stunts you can better believe I would not be paying a dime more for him to go there. She can go to public school, tons of kids have to switch even senior year, either by choice or bc of circumstances.

Her parents may be control freaks from heck, but then she should be done with them and find her own way in the world. The parents only owed her the basics for 18 years. Their job is done.

 

[daughtersrus]

A bit off topic but I always wondered why so many people that are divorced are required to pay for college for their children. I understand that it's part of the divorce agreement but if the parents were still married, they would not be required.

One relative in particular has paid for all 4 children on his own. The ex refused to file FAFSA (didn't want the ex to know about her income/assets) so the kids were not able to apply for most scholarships or any financial aide.

 

[barkley]

True. But I also read that the school told her not to go home. I admit to being very curious about that .

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I find that to be interesting as well. the whole private school aspect of this just seems kind of 'off' to me (and this is as the parent of kids who went to them for years).

granted, the school's staff is likely mandated to report whether or not they observe or suspect abuse-just if the child makes certain statements, but for a school, ANY school-private or public to advise a 'child' not to return to her parental home? it seems if that happened then the school also viewed the 'child' as having reached adulthood and emancipation (all the articles seem to indicate everything came down within days of her 18th birthday).

so if the school did advise the girl to leave home, it would be interesting to see how they proceeded administratively after they became of aware of her moving in with the classmate's family. were her parents still the ones who were sent any communications (all school, and student specific like report cards and such), or did the school switch everything over to the student (by then 18) or the lawyer father of her friend? either way if that happened it seems like the school's view of the student was that she had become an emancipated adult capable of either making her own decisions or designating another to act on her behalf.

and the whole tuition issue? it seems if a tuition bill is owing then the school would have to go after whomever the contract was/is with. if that's with the parents, then the school NOT the daughter would seem to have a basis for suing to recover. if the school was put on notice that the parents had abandoned all financial responsibility for the daughter as of her 18th birthday and they chose to allow the daughter to continue attending once her tuition account hit zero then that's the school's choice (if they extended credit to the daughter then the school goes after the daughter, if friend's father fronted the tuition absent a contract with anyone then that's his battle).

seems like the school may have stepped in it with this situation, and if I were a parent of a kid attending/considering attending I would be watching the case very closely.

 

[jrmasm]

A bit off topic but I always wondered why so many people that are divorced are required to pay for college for their children. I understand that it's part of the divorce agreement but if the parents were still married, they would not be required.One relative in particular has paid for all 4 children on his own. The ex refused to file FAFSA (didn't want the ex to know about her income/assets) so the kids were not able to apply for most scholarships or any financial aide.

Married parents are required file FAFSA and contribute.

As to the case, it would seem to be that if the parents have a contract with the private school, they'd be on the hook to the school for the tuition but nothing else. IMO, no matter how awful these parents might be, no one owes their kid a college education.

 

[barkley]

Married parents are required file FAFSA and contribute.

As to the case, it would seem to be that if the parents have a contract with the private school, they'd be on the hook to the school for the tuition but nothing else. IMO, no matter how awful these parents might be, no one owes their kid a college education.

married parents are not 'required' to contribute. the amount that the fafsa determines as the expected family contribution is just that 'expected'-not required. no college or university has anything akin to an insurance deductible for tuition where the parents have to pay their efc first before any awarded grants or loans get applied . even filing of the fafsa isn't 'required', it's a condition of application for aide, and there's a process within that application by which a student whose parent(s) choose not to file (or provide them with the parental information to file) go through a process to estimate their parental information.

LOTS of people don't do fafsa b/c they just assume they are ineligible to aide, and there are many scholarships and grants that do not require it (of 10 or so dd applied for last year only 1 required proof of fafsa).

 

[jrmasm]

married parents are not 'required' to contribute. the amount that the fafsa determines as the expected family contribution is just that 'expected'-not required. no college or university has anything akin to an insurance deductible for tuition where the parents have to pay their efc first before any awarded grants or loans get applied . even filing of the fafsa isn't 'required', it's a condition of application for aide, and there's a process within that application by which a student whose parent(s) choose not to file (or provide them with the parental information to file) go through a process to estimate their parental information.

LOTS of people don't do fafsa b/c they just assume they are ineligible to aide, and there are many scholarships and grants that do not require it (of 10 or so dd applied for last year only 1 required proof of fafsa).

If you read what I quoted, I was simply explaining that married parents are not exempt from FAFSA simply because they're married.

 

[Hannathy]

married parents are not 'required' to contribute. the amount that the fafsa determines as the expected family contribution is just that 'expected'-not required. no college or university has anything akin to an insurance deductible for tuition where the parents have to pay their efc first before any awarded grants or loans get applied . even filing of the fafsa isn't 'required', it's a condition of application for aide, and there's a process within that application by which a student whose parent(s) choose not to file (or provide them with the parental information to file) go through a process to estimate their parental information.

LOTS of people don't do fafsa b/c they just assume they are ineligible to aide, and there are many scholarships and grants that do not require it (of 10 or so dd applied for last year only 1 required proof of fafsa).

but students are only eligible for financial aid based on their parents income. In the eyes of the federal government it is the responsibility of parents to help their children with college. When parents won't pay anything it really puts their child in a bind, especially if the parents make a decent amount. They can't get financial aid and the parents won't help them. Pretty lousy in my eyes on the parents.