12/09/06 Cruise Continued ~ Pirating Bananas DIS Geekorama Part 2 Part 5

[lbgraves]

Well, we went to pre-school orientation today. DD went right to the toys and started playing. When the parents left the room for a meeting there were only one or two who wouldn't stay with the other kids. When we went back to get the kids, I was told that Dina had cried a little. Miss Jean (I have known most of the people here for quite some time as the other two went to the same place as well) was surprised and thinks it may have been because of another child crying. It was only for a minute and she didn't want to leave after that! We stopped at the park on the way home since it is a beautiful day.

Glad to hear that your DD had such a good morning.

 

[87Heel]

Caroline,
No first day photos, but you get the great mom award for a stop at the park after preschool. DS got to go to the grocery store after school today (hey, but at least he missed the stop at the "Wine & Spirits Shop")

 

[pyramid2000]

I have never really preplanned anything before. This is getting a bit stressful.

Do we have to book the Palo brunch ourselves even if we are doing it with the group under Kim??

 

[pyramid2000]

Caroline,
No first day photos, but you get the great mom award for a stop at the park after preschool. DS got to go to the grocery store after school today (hey, but at least he missed the stop at the "Wine & Spirits Shop")

Thank you!

But you don't know if you would think the same thing if you knew the REAL reason we stopped.

I had to stop at one of the softball practice firelds to check on how it was looking for future practices. Well, there is a playground there, but it at a school and the kids from gym were on it so DD couldn't go. She started to pout, which is becoming quite common lately , so I told her we would go to the park around the corner since it was kind of torturing her.

 

[87Heel]

Caroline,
in my never-ending pronunciation quest, how do you say your dd's name?

 

[becka]

This may break my previous record for the world’s longest post….why oh why did I ever feel the need to discuss DS.

DH and I work full-time so DS has been in full-time daycare since he was 12 weeks old. He has been going to the same daycare all these years just moving up through the various age groups. Starting in the 3 year old room they start a sort of preschool program so while it is full-time daycare they are doing “preschool” type stuff. He moved into the 4 year old room in early June of this year after he turned 4 this past May. The 4 year old room is really a Pre-K type of class. They do worksheets, art activities, circle time, centers, etc.. It seems kind of like what we did in K many, many, many years ago.

Every year usually by around March we would start to notice that DS would have a much harder time listening and he just usually would start to cause some general trouble in his classroom. This started back even when he was in the infant classroom and waiting to move up to the 1s. We had always just figured it was him honestly just getting bored by that point and it was a sign that he was ready to be moved up and challenged more. Usually when he moved up to the next level it was like we had a new kid for a while. It was kind of like a honeymoon period. The pattern continued when he reached the 3 year old room and he loved it there. He loved his teacher and he still talks about her to this day. She left after about 4-5 months after he joined the class and he really missed her. They had a lot of subs in the class before they could hire a replacement and he started having some additional troubles with not listening and starting to on occasion get more aggressive with the other kids. Not bad but just playing too rough, etc.. We really thought it was all the confusion with no regular teacher, etc.. When they got a new full-time teacher things did seem to get better until about March when we started to see the same type of behaviors.

He moved to the 4 year old class and the first few weeks went great just as always but then we started to have a few problems. He seemed to like his teacher but he was not listening quite as well and he started having a lot more problems with the other kids in the class. I think he was the new kid and as I have discovered 4 year olds are not the nicest people on this planet. I think they were a little mean to him by telling him he could not play with them, etc.. and I think it really hurt his feelings. I had been talking to his teacher and she seems concerned as well and is trying to get the other kids to play with him some more but it is hard to get 4 year olds to do anything they really don’t want to do.

One additional issue I should mention here is that there is another little boy at the daycare who has also been there since he was just a few weeks old. He is about 6 weeks older than DS and they were in the infant class together. Since they were close to the same age the teacher used to sit them near each other on the mats until they learned they could push each other over. It seemed strange that they only did that to each other but they were only 7-8 months old at the time. When they moved to the same 1 year old room we still had some problems between the two of them occasionally but they did OK. They then moved to the 2 year old room together and they started to have a lot more problems getting along. DS and this boy would fight everyday over every little thing. The teacher finally learned that she just had to keep them as separated as possible but it was hard because half the time DS and this other boy thought they were the best of friends and then the next minute they were at each other again. It finally got bad enough that when it came time for them to move up to the 3 year old room we all thought it would be best to have them in different classes. That seemed to work much better but they still had recess time together and other activities the classes combined for and those two were always problems when they were together. It was when they were 3 that it seemed to me that this other boy could be a bit of a bully and did a lot of that “you can’t play with us” type of stuff that we have recently encountered in the 4 year old room. I guess this other boy was just advanced.

Nathan moved up to the 4 year old room but they did not have a spot for this other boy until about 4-5 weeks ago. There is only one class for the 4 year olds so they have to be in the same class again. I warned the teacher as soon as I found out and the boys were happy to see each other for a few days but then were back to their old behavior. Their teacher has since figured out it is best to keep them separated. Since this boy has been in DS’s class the behavior issues have gotten worse. From what I can understand this other boy is still real big on the “you can’t play with us” thing that was already a problem. I think it started to happen more often and DS was just getting madder and madder and now we have all kinds of problems where most of the kids don’t want to play with him. I just think he is so frustrated and he is really acting out and I don’t know what to do to help him. His teacher is pregnant and due later this year so I know there is going to be more upheaval in the class in the next few months. The problem now is that I think he goes in there every morning mad and this other boy knows how to push his buttons and get DS all riled up. I really wish I was there to try to help him but I can’t be.

I have thought about looking for a new place for him but DD is at the same place and I don’t want them in separate daycares and I would really hate to have to move DD as well since I like and know this place. I just feel lost on how to best help him. I can’t condone his behavior but at the same time I understand why he might feel like that is his only option. I also can understand why the other kids don’t want to play with him when he acts that way. Both reactions are completely normal and easy to understand. However, 4 year old don’t do well with having to make changes were there are not immediate results. I have told Nathan that he is going to have to be a good friend to these kids for a while before they will feel like playing with him a lot more. He tries to be nice and there are still problems so he goes back to his only known method of coping which is to be mean back and to be very negative with the teachers, etc. out of frustration.

Now I know my son is not perfect or blameless in all of this behavior but while he does a lot of not listening at home I don’t see a lot of the other problems with being aggressive or destroying things (although on occasion he has pushed his sister, etc.). Of course at home it is just the four of us and it is a very different environment.

Does any of this make any sense? Did most of you fall asleep before you reached the end? Any opinions, advice? Does someone have a safehouse for me? Are all of you frantically PM’ing Lisa to make sure you are not seated with us for dinner and making plans to put your kids in the Club at times my DS is not there?

 

[pyramid2000]

Caroline,
in my never-ending pronunciation quest, how do you say your dd's name?

Dina? It rhymes with Tina.

I was going to spell it Deena, but when you write it in cursive it can look like Duna.

My girlfriend pointed out that the initials of my girls are S A D....Sarah, Amanda, Dina.

 

[lbgraves]

Caroline, you will need to book it on Sunday morning at 10:30...or as close to that time as you can get. She will find out 30 days out if we have the private room. We can then figure out how many people still need resies and work on getting the area outside the room.

 

[GoofyforGoofy]

- insert picture of farm animal similar to mule, because I can't post web links here YET.-

That was uncalled for....

 

[pyramid2000]

Holy crud Becka!! I think you wrote a story so you could get a !

 

[87Heel]

hmmm.
Life in the goofy house is getting interesting!

woo!
accidental

 

[pyramid2000]

 

[pyramid2000]

Nice Marielle!

Now I can go back and finish reading Becka's short story.

 

[BuzzBoyMom]

Lisa,
Add us to the list of those bringing surprises for the group. No bananas or other banana/fruit/veggie products in our surprises, though. I'll leave that for John, Becka, and others.

That's too funny. I sat there in a store one day and grabbed a bunch of plastic bananas...then I put them back and thought, no I couldn't. then I walked by them again and thought, yes I should. THen I put them back.

hmmm....

 

[BuzzBoyMom]

Here's something interesting...
Karen's duct tape email and Kim's response went to my regular email folder. John1's response was automatically deflected to the junk mail folder. Hmmm. I haven't done anything to designate anyone any special way. Wonder how other DISers are filtered!

And there is something wrong with this? It's the mail emails vs. the female emails!!!!

 

[pyramid2000]

Caroline, you will need to book it on Sunday morning at 10:30...or as close to that time as you can get. She will find out 30 days out if we have the private room. We can then figure out how many people still need resies and work on getting the area outside the room.

Thanks Lisa!

 

[pyramid2000]

And there is something wrong with this? It's the mail emails vs. the female emails!!!!

 

[87Heel]

Thanks Caroline.
that's the way I had been reading her name, but it just hit me that maybe it was a different spelling of Dinah and I needed to find out!

 

[87Heel]

And there is something wrong with this? It's the mail emails vs. the female emails!!!!

And your male/female email theory continues. Elizabeth's response is in the regular inbox.

What is interesting is that John's DIS geek challenge email went to the regular box.

 

[pyramid2000]

Becka, this sounds like you are in a tough spot. Don't feel as if you are trying to defend your DS. Everyone acts as they do for a reason, and trying to figure out the reason is the best way to go. You can't begin to solve the problem until you understand it. The only thing you can do is keep talking to DS about it. The teachers should take the time to observe what is going on without interupting to get a better understanding also.