After your post about your coworker yesterday I thought you would enjoy this one..... I received this in an email...sorry its kind of long but i thought we could all use the chuckle...~Angy
The Dillard's Shopping
(This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't make
this stuff up!)
Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed
do! wn at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent
hit---no flies, no smell. What business could that poor kitty have had here?'
murmured Ellen.
'Come on, Ellen, let's just go...'But Ellen had already grabbed her
shopping bag and was explaining, 'I'll just put my things in your bag, and
then I'll take the tissue.' She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag
and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into
her own Dillard's bag and cover it.
They continued the short trek to! the ca r in silence, stashing their
goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left
Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the TEXAS sunshine while they
ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car smell. They decided to
leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to
Luby's Cafeteria. After they cleared the serving line and sat down at a
window table, they had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Dillard's bag
still on the trunk. BUT not for lo ng! As they ate, they noticed a
black-haired woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car, look quickly
this way and that, and then hook the Dillard's bag without
breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision. Kay
and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement.
It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to
respond. 'Can you imagine?' finally sputtered Ellen. 'The nerve of that
woman!' Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh! was bu ilding as
she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the red-gingham thief.
Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed
Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line. Following her
gaze, Kay recognized with a shock the black-haired woman with THE
Dillard's bag, hanging from her arm, brazenly pushing her tray toward the
cashier. Helplessly they watched the scene unfold: After clearing the
register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on
an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites of baked whitefish
and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her
treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her
rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and
peere
d into the bag. Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of
gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the
floor, ! wheezin g and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart
attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to
call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver. A crowd
quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to
their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived.
In a matter of minutes the curly-haired woman emerged from the crowd,
still gasping, strapped securely on a gurney. Two well-trained EMS
volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up
her belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar, she
disappeared behind the ambulance doors, ........................ the
Dillard's bag perched on her stomach!!
Sometimes, God does take care of those who do bad things!
(AND once in awhile..He allows us to witness it!)