See...I dont think all men are awful. They dont all act like this. Most I know are pretty disgusted by the behavior they saw on the video as well. In fact, I found out about this video because a guy friend of mine posted it on Twitter, and he was mad about what happened in the video too.
But when I watch this video, it does hit home because this kind of harassment has happened to me. Its happened to my friends. And it happens to us on a regular basis. I was literally cringing watching it.
Understood. I was cringing as well. I would suggest that any man who is bothered this video isn't someone who would catcall anyway.
And the hardest part about discussing this video is trying to explain why even the hellos and you look nice today comments are inappropriate as well. Because when they happen, theyre rarely friendly, and they usually descend into something even more unpleasant regardless if you respond or not.
I assume this is in reference specifically someone walking up to a random stranger on the street as opposed to, say, someone chatting someone up in line at the grocery store or approaching someone in a bar? The reason I'm asking is because when you're in a place as a customer, you are well within your rights to ask an employee or manager to intervene. If they don't, that sends a crystal clear message that they don't value you as a customer & you should let them know. I would also let them know that their owner or corporate office might be interested to know how they dealt with the matter. Part of my job as a bartender (& then as a manager) was kicking creeps to the curb when they couldn't comprehend what "I'm not interested" meant. Assuring everyone's safety (even if it means losing out on some business) is & should be the absolute top priority of any store.
I dont agree that catcalling is specific to any race or gender. Ive seen plenty of white guys shoot their mouths off, and there are certainly women whove been guilty of doing this as well.
I agree with all of this. I would suggest though that it's people that come from a lower-class background that are more inclined to think this is acceptable behavior.
Just like the Twitter campaign last spring about not all men vs yes all women, you can't compare "here's what a man goes through when falsely accused of rape or domestic violence" to something like this - reason being - not all men are falsely accused of a crime. Not even a majority of men are falsely accused of a crime. But every single woman has to go through the cat calls. Some more often than others, some more viciously than others, some more demeaning than others - but we all have to listen to it. I don't know one woman, who has reached the age of 21 without having to listen to it at least once. Some ignore, some get angry, some brush it off, some have hardened themselves to it - but we all get to listen to it, whether we want to or not. We have no choice in the matter, and that's what's not right.
My point in using that as an example was not to make a direct, apples-to-apples comparison, but to rather to show that addressing an issue while having the best of intent could end up being divisive for people. It's not the message, it's the delivery.
I can't speak to living in a public transit place (such as the east coast) - having grown up on the west coast & the southwest (where driving directly from point A to point B is the usual modality). I assume in that the higher the public transit & pedestrian traffic levels, the higher the amount of harassment.
I have been harassed & been in situations where I haven't felt safe myself. I've been lucky that my size is usually a deterrent for most people - so I've only been physically assaulted a handful of times.
That said, I'm not naive enough to think that I've experienced nearly as much harassment as the average woman.
Actually, I would be very supportive of that kind of video. It is a story that needs to be told.
I agree.
It isn't, however, an excuse for the objectifying of women, nor does it address womens safety and right to walk down the street without harassment and the necessity of fear, nor is it relevent to the subject.
My issue is with the delivery. I didn't bring the analogy up to change subjects & I certainly bring it up to justify the actions of the cat callers.
The real question is who is this video intended for?
Is this video meant to inform woman of cat calling? Likely not. I feel like most women are well aware from personal experience.
Is this meant for men that don't cat call?
Maybe not. If they don't do it, they're probably not going to start doing it.
Or is this meant for men that engage in cat calling?
If it is, I don't think there will be that moment of enlightenment for them that the rest of us are hoping for. They'll chalk it up to people being "overly sensitive" to "harmless fun." And they may be even less likely to listen to any future criticism as a result.
Awareness videos usually have three methods of execution:
1) Straight documentation - which is what we have here.
The problem is this - it falls on deaf ears with the perpetrators; victims will react out of frustration with some of them using broad generalizations, which in turn causes people (who are sympathetic) to take issue with the generalizations; this leads the two groups that are most receptive to the message to sometimes be at odds.
2) Humorous role reversal - this is a favorite of Buzzfeed.
This could be potentially helpful, but because humor is the goal, hyperbole comes into play. That makes it funny, sure, but also less believable or relatable.
3) Serious role reversal
This has the potential to be the most effective & relatable, but is usually clumsily executed. In order to highlight the issue, they'll use extreme examples in order to drive the point home. This has a tendency to possibly strike the passive viewer as overly-exaggerated or alarmist. Still others who might be committing the targeted offense may think "well, I'm not
that bad, so I'm okay."