Yeah, we've decided it's either August or October now.
August should have longer hours and Warmer weather, but no party, so now I have that deduction to make
Make your own party. Check out the Wishes dessert party or a Fantasmic dinner package.
MNSSHP has turned into another way for Disney to charge extra, and if you don't have children you don't get much in return (candy and a different show). Wishes dessert party has gone up in price since our first time, but it is a great view and the first time I saw Tink start it, she lands right over your head. The foods damn good too.
I'd personally say August mainly because of the late park hours, but know that it will be hot. Not warm, but hot. At 10:00 PM my ice cream melted in the time it took to find a bench. Think 35 Celsius during the day with maybe 30 at night. We combat that by going for rope drop, napping in the hotel from 1-6, then back to a park until midnight. August also gives you a daily rain shower mid afternoon, so another reason to hit a hotel or bar to cool off. If you don't want to trek out of the park, there are always attractions to nap in (American Adventure in Epcot or Hall of Presidents).
August is probably the cheapest time for golf if your husband can tolerate the heat. If he really wants to avoid the parks there are seasonal rates that let him play two rounds a day and their rental clubs are better than I own. Palm and Magnolia are great, and if you're solo or a twosome you often get paired with Disney cast members who are off. This networking has gotten me some perks (I played with the ride supervisor for rock n roller coaster who put us front row the next day and gave us a little tour).
Since this isn't a trip you take every year, I'd say make the most of it. The Keys to the Kingdom tour is amazing for any Disney geek. You get to go on a few rides(1-3 depending on how busy it is) but our entire group consisted of Disnuts who couldn't get enough of the history and planning that went into the parks. Parts were a bit dry but it was something I would recommend to anyone devoted enough to watch these podcasts.
You may also want to tempt Leigh with the Epcot food and wine version we do. It's not during the F&W event, but a summer tradition of spending at least 30 minutes indoors in each country. Not like frat boys getting a beer everywhere for the sake of getting drunk as fast as possible, but rather wine Tutto Gusto with a plate of prosciutto and fresh mozzarella or hanging out with Carl (the senior bartender) at the Rose and Crown pub for an hour. Freestyle, explore, when you find something you like enjoy it. You don't need to rush to your next fast pass.