Your worst cooking disaster?

[JunieJay]

My niece called us yesterday with a cooking disaster - she's newly married and was so upset because her lasagna didn't work out. We ended up figuring out she doesn't know the difference between a bulb and a clove of garlic.

Got me to thinking of my worst cooking disaster. There have been a few. The worst though, was for a pot luck dinner at my work. In charge of this event was the mean secretary who was older than the rest of us and uber bossy. She just bulldozed her way around the office, and this pot luck was no exception. She assigned us all stuff to bring to the pot luck, and regardless of whether we wanted to make it or not, we just did - everyone was just too scared of her to say something, even her managers.

So she assigns me potato salad. I don't know jack about potato salad - this is an American type food that my ethnic family did not eat much if ever, so I'm clueless on how to make it. I find a recipe and I muddle through. Tasted it that night, it tasted fine, so I put a piece of foil over it and stuck it in the fridge overnight. Next morning, I'm bringing this dish to our company pot luck picnic. Bossy lady is sitting there checking everyone's dish, making sure it was up to her standards. Something made me decide to look at my dish to make sure it was intact so I wouldn't get screamed at by her, and lo and behold I take off the foil and the whole dish is BLACK. It was honestly the most REVOLTING thing, the potatos had turned completely black.

I debated what to do, and for lack of anything better, I just took off running the other direction before she could spot me and bust me and my black potato salad. I made it almost to my car when my boss was driving up, and asked me where I am going, aren't I going in the wrong direction? We had a history of laughing and giggling together over stupid stuff, and of course he was hip to bossy lady, as she had told him what to bring too. So without a word I open up the foil and he sees my black potato salad and we both start rolling with laughter. He tells me to jump in the car and we go up to the grocery store and buy some yellow potato salad. Bossy lady yells at me for bringing store bought.....if she only knew what she could have had instead.

Your worst cooking disaster?

 

[KimR]

I did the same thing as your neice. The recipe called for 3 cloves of garlic. We love garlic, so I doubled that and used 6. Which would have been perfectly fine except I used 6 bulbs, not 6 cloves.

 

[jesszac610]

when I was first married almost 20 years ago, I made a meatloaf and it was floating in the pan!!!!! Still to this day, don't know what I did wrong, but gotta say my meatloaf is now DH's favorite!!!!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I screwed up Jello. Yup...JELLO. Had some bottled water leftover, eyeballed it and said, "yeah, that's probably about a cup." Needless to say...it was more than a cup. First time I've ever had to drink Jello.

One time I let my ex handle the Thanksgiving turkey. It's not that he "forgot" the bag of innards...he knew it was there but he was creeped out by the thought of having to stick his hand inside to pull it out. So he left it in, thinking it would give it flavour. It sure did...that plastic bag that encases the innards sure permeates the entire bird. Yum.

 

[chop456]

Fish of any type. I still cannot cook/bake fish.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I set a pan on fire. Still don't know how I managed to do that.

 

[hpygrll]

I was making lasagna - it called for a 1/4 teaspoon of salt - I put in a 1/4 cup!!!!!!!!!

The cutest thing is DH really tried to eat it ( we were fairly newly married) and I told him to stop - that it was gross.

My MIL told me that nothing calls for 1/4 cup of salt ever unless you're making an ocean.

Jenny

 

[mouseclick1]

I set a pan on fire. Still don't know how I managed to do that.

I did that too! I was cooking blackened chicken, and the directions said to let a cast iron skillet sit on the stove on high for 10 minutes to get really, really hot. Little did I know that you were not supposed to pour cooking oil in the pan at that point (wasn't in the directions - that was my own special touch). The pan immediately burst into flames. Like an idiot, I panicked and picked up the skillet with my bare hands and set in on the linoleum floor. I put a nice burn ring right in the middle of my kitchen floor, and had a pretty bad burn on my hand.

I've never tried to make blackened chicken again!

 

[Mumbling Jumba]

My Ex when we were first married discovered that I liked soup on cold days and began to make cream of chicken soup for me on cold days, Her family were not soup eater so she had never made it before. Soon she decided she could make others after all they come out of a can. I came home to her panicked to the point of tears when I asked her what was wrong she said she had been working at the can of soup for 30 minutes but could not get the lumps out. When I looked in the pan she was making chunky cream of potato soup.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

The only thing I recall is when I forgot to put flour in chocolate chip cookies. Let's just say the end product was very runny.

And I don't know if you can count this as a cooking disaster...
A few years ago, I was pre-heating the oven for dinner when I smelled something like burned rubber. I opened the oven and there are my daughter's Barbie and teddy bear on fire! For a long time after that, I always checked the oven before I pre-heated it.

 

[Saphire]

I ruined the Thanksgiving turkey! I found this great sounding recipe and it wanted you to cover the turkey with foil after seasoning it. The problem was I bought a 'free range' turkey and didn't realize they take much less time. Well when it was time to carve, we peeled back the foil. It looked just like the turkey from Christmas Vacation when Catherine cooks it too long! It was shriveled and the meat was pulling back from the bone...it was hysterical! (well, looking back on it) We even sounded like the family eating that dried up turkey, oh how embarrassing. Truly my worst disaster yet.

 

[KLAIT]

When we were first married, I was going to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my parents and grandparents..6 people in total.

Planned on cooking a turkey and this ham thing...boneless...

When it came time to eat, I had cooked 10 lbs of mashed potatoes, the turkey was still frozen on the inside and I didn't take the "wrapper thing" off the ham...we still laugh about it 20 years later...as it turns out it was a good thing that I had cooked enough potatoes for the whole block because that was the only thing we could eat.!!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I did that too! I was cooking blackened chicken, and the directions said to let a cast iron skillet sit on the stove on high for 10 minutes to get really, really hot. Little did I know that you were not supposed to pour cooking oil in the pan at that point (wasn't in the directions - that was my own special touch). The pan immediately burst into flames. Like an idiot, I panicked and picked up the skillet with my bare hands and set in on the linoleum floor. I put a nice burn ring right in the middle of my kitchen floor, and had a pretty bad burn on my hand.

I've never tried to make blackened chicken again!

OMG! That's exactly how I did it, with the cooking oil! I didn't know you were not supposed to add it when it was hot. Don't they do that on Food Network all the time?

I picked up my pan, took it to the sink and proceeded to blow out the fire! That was dumb! Then I turned the water on.

 

[Robinrs]

I've had PLENTY...

The one I remember the most is the birthday party I gave for one of my fiances.... I made burritos...

Everyone at the party called in sick the next day!! My fiance called them the EX-LAX burritos!

 

[JunieJay]

OMG! That's exactly how I did it, with the cooking oil! I didn't know you were not supposed to add it when it was hot. Don't they do that on Food Network all the time?

I picked up my pan, took it to the sink and proceeded to blow out the fire! That was dumb! Then I turned the water on.

My old college roommate did something similar. She had a grease fire on the stove. She filled up a lobster pot full of water and was just getting ready to throw the entire thing on top of the fire when I saw her and pushed her out of the way. The water went everywhere, but fortunately not on the fire. There was a lid nearby and somehow I was able to contain the fire with it. DH (then boyfriend) was a firefighter so I knew all too well about throwing water on grease fires.

 

[BuckNaked]

The first time I made risotto. I didn't see the point of "ladle of stock and stir constantly". I figured "It's rice for God's sake, pour it all in and boil it until the liquid is gone".

Bad, bad, bad.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

Not me but my aunt. She is a good cook (her desserts are delicious!) but her italian foods leave much to be desired.

She bought those no-cook lasagna noodles one Christmas. She figured they would save a lot of time. I have absolutely no idea what happened but that lasagna was just gross! I swear the thing self imploded! The noodles never really cooked and the rest of it just turned to a sorta pudding consistency. Everyone gave it the old college try. It was only worthy of the trashcan. Even the dog wouldn't eat it!

 

[sugarpie]

I was trying to make Jello & decided to boil the water in the microwave in a glass measuring cup. I was standing in front of the microwave (it's above the stove) watching & waiting for the water to boil. I can't explain it, but when it started boiling the microwave door burst open & boiling water flew all over me. Luckily I turned my head & only got hit in the neck, not the face.

 

[OK!]

I make the pumpkin pies every year for Thanksgiving, and one year I guess I was distracted during the process (probably watching the parades) and forgot the sugar. It wasn't obvious that there was a mistake with the way the pies looked when they were done, so nobody knew anything until my grandfather took a big bite, all of us watching expectantly. He said, "....Mmm...it's, um... good!" trying valiantly to convince me that he wasn't lying, all with a look on his face that said "what the hell did I just put in my mouth?!" Turns out with enough whipped cream and a little Equal, eventually even sugarless pumpkin pie can taste OK.

 

[grinningghost]

My first few attempts at cooking a roast beef were horrible. Crunchy on the outside, raw on the inside. And I wasn't very good at selecting a cut either - always too fatty. I've since become savvy at ASKING the butcher which cut is really lean.