Your worst cooking disaster?

[MomofKatie]

For DH's birthday the first year we were married, I wanted to make his favorite- red velvet cake. I called his Grandma, since he always said she made the best red velvet cake he ever tasted. Grandma told me she never baked red velvet cake (she had made devil's food), but if I wanted to bake one, she had a recipe from a dear friend. she read me the recipe, I copied it down, and got to work on it.

I went to the store to get all the ingredients, and read that I'd need 6 oz. of red food coloring. I looked at the largest bottle of red food coloring I could find, and it was only 1 oz! Well, I thought, this recipe is supposed to be great, so I bought 6 bottles of red food coloring. I made the cake according to the recipe, and used all 6 bottles of food coloring! After baking in the oven, I looked at the cake- it was flat as a pancake in the pan. It was black (because of soooo much food coloring) and was inedible. I called back Grandma, and told her the cake didn't turn out. She had me read back the recipe, and when I got to the food coloring amount, she burst out laughing- I was supposed to use 6 DROPS of red food coloring, not 6 OUNCES!!!

She still teases me about it to this day, and I baked that awful cake 15 years ago! Now, I always double check the recipe before I start cooking.

 

[JunieJay]

And people wonder why I don't cook

I was making popcorn on the stove top when I was in high school. It seemed to be taking a long time for the kernels to start popping so I decide to take a peek Next thing you know, it feels like I've been shot! One of those little suckers got away and hit me right in the breast. I still have a scar.

I'm sorry I really don't mean to laugh, but I can't help it.

 

[Kitty 34]

My Mom loves telling the story of when she first made cocoa. She thought it called for a dish of salt, rather than a dash!!

I cooked a spatula in a cake!

 

[snowwite]

Which time?

I made cornish game hens for my first dinner party. I did not know there was an upside down and right side up for cooking and I had them in wrong with the innards inside a plastic baggie.Num Num

I have had the firemen come put out my gas grill. Twice.

I burned rice. I forgot about it and all the water evaporated. I had to throw the pan away.

When microwaves first came out I saw people at work microwave water for tea so I decided to use it to "boil" an egg. I dont recommend it!

 

[snowwite]

I cooked a spatula in a cake!

Now that is funny Were you testing items for a prison break

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

I'm sorry I really don't mean to laugh, but I can't help it.

It's ok, I can laugh about it now too

 

[arminnie]

I cooked a spatula in a cake!

Okay - that is the best one yet.

I have a few:

1. Why I hate Weight Watchers - 30 years ago WW was really weird, but I wanted to lose 10 pounds so I gave it a try. You had to eat fish a certain number of times (and liver!). I tried this WW recipe called Curried Cod - it was SO horrible that I threw the pan away with it.

2. It was a big deal when I got my first microwave in 1977. They were still fairly new. I got a cookbook with it and decided to make ribs. Wouldn't it be great to cook ribs fast instead of nice and slow like you're supposed to do. I just made a few but cooked them for about 30 minutes in the microwave - a dog could not have chewed that meat - it was petrified.

3. This one isn't mine, but it is funny. Again microwaves were brand new and so was microwave popcorn. A friend decides that she will pop some regular popcorn in the microwave in a brown lunch bag. The whole thing caught on fire.

 

[Enchanted Tiki Bird]

I broke a pan while trying to make Ramen Noodles

That's impressive! Why the heck were you using a pan to cook Raman Noodles.

 

[Stacerita]

And people wonder why I don't cook

I was making popcorn on the stove top when I was in high school. It seemed to be taking a long time for the kernels to start popping so I decide to take a peek Next thing you know, it feels like I've been shot! One of those little suckers got away and hit me right in the breast. I still have a scar.

 

[jemiaule]

Sister's Disaster
First one about my step-sister. I should preface this to say she is an incrediably book smart woman but she has NO common sense or cooking skills. She was making cup of ramen once; we smelled this horrible burning/melting smell and ran over to the microwave. We pulled the remains of the cup of ramen out of the microwave with oven mitts. Mom just looked at her and said"sweetie, you really need to add water to those to make them work".

My Disaster
My disaster was not long after I got married. We had gotten a Kitchen-aid mixer as a gift and I decided to use it to make a cake. I must have set it too high because as soon as if started mixing cake batter was splattering all over the kitchen.

I have been married almost 10 years now and whenever I break out the Kitchen-ad my husband always starts smirking and asks me if I am going to make him another Splat Cake.

Dad's Disaster
One year my father decides he wanted a good old fashioned Christmas dinner and instead of turkey he is going to cook a goose. He spent a week putting together the menu, shopping, the works. Christmas day comes, he is cooking up a storm and has the goose smoking out back.

When it is done smoking he brings it in and decides he is going to put it in the oven a bit to brown the skin. Well mom has a convection oven and I don't know how hot he put that sucker but the end result was this charred black lil lump of a goose that was on fire. He tried to convince us all that it was "blackened" goose.

Husband's Disaster
Yet another Christmas, my husband proclaims he is starting a family tradition where he is going to bake scones Christmas morning with our boys. Knowing this is a disaster waiting to happen I retire to the bedroom and wait. I here banging of pans, children yelling "I don't think that is how it works" and at one point our oldest comes running in and says "I think you better help daddy NOW!"

I have no clue what these people did in a span of an hour but the kitchen was absolutely trashed, every mixing bowl and utensil dirty, flour all over the place and there were these small wads that were trying to pass themselves off as scones. Bricks of flour would be more like it. I sat there trying to choke one down and smile.

Every year the poor man tries to think up some new thing he can cook to start his christmas family tradition with the boys. The only real tradition is making me eat crazy concoctions every Christmas morning.

 

[jemiaule]

I was trying to make Jello & decided to boil the water in the microwave in a glass measuring cup. I was standing in front of the microwave (it's above the stove) watching & waiting for the water to boil. I can't explain it, but when it started boiling the microwave door burst open & boiling water flew all over me. Luckily I turned my head & only got hit in the neck, not the face.

I have this old funky built in microwave and this is my worst fear. Anytime someone microwaves something I won't let them stand in front of it because I have always had this fear the thing would blow it's door off. My husband teases me all the time and says that can't happen on a microwave!

I am now going to take the laptop into his office, point out your post and in my best "neener-neener" voice say I told ya so!

 

[Sparx]

I won't go into details, but I ended up knocking a hole in the ceiling.

 

[__disneygirl]

Oh gosh I don't even remember what I did wrong but I was baking a holiday cake and it just fell apart when I tried to take it out of the pan. It was literally in like 10 messy pieces. I just piled them around and on top of each other and layered them... it became a joke cake. Hey, it tasted good though!

 

[CourtasanSatine]

That's impressive! Why the heck were you using a pan to cook Raman Noodles.

It was actually a small pot that kinda looked like a pan. But somehow I set the water on too high a temp and the pot decided to break.

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

I was making Beef Stew, and did not have any corn starch. DH went to borrow some from the neighbor, who mistakingly gave us baking soda instead. I mixed it, poured it in and the whole pot started bubbling over. It was horrible.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Sister's Disaster
First one about my step-sister. I should preface this to say she is an incrediably book smart woman but she has NO common sense or cooking skills. She was making cup of ramen once; we smelled this horrible burning/melting smell and ran over to the microwave. We pulled the remains of the cup of ramen out of the microwave with oven mitts. Mom just looked at her and said"sweetie, you really need to add water to those to make them work".

A guy in my office did the exact same thing. Even with doors open (windows didn't open in this building), fans blasting and candles burning, the smell lingered for weeks.

I won't go into details, but I ended up knocking a hole in the ceiling.

Aw, come on. You can't give us a teaser as good as that without details!

 

[Enchanted Tiki Bird]

It was actually a small pot that kinda looked like a pan. But somehow I set the water on too high a temp and the pot decided to break.

Oh good. I had images of you frying up your raw Ramen noodles.

 

[slo]

My DH and I were just talking about this the other night

I made a dinner that had parsnips in it.
It was the worst meal I have ever made, and ever ate

I'll never forget when my DH tried his first bite of the meal.
His face was priceless

We ended up throwing the meal away and went out to dinner

I have never cooked with parsnips again, and I never will

The whole thing is such a funny memory
One that my DH and I will grow old with

 

[Amberle3]

This isn't technically mine but I was involved. I was making crepes for a BF one evening. I had the batter in the blender - all finished and ready to go - and the top off. For some reason he seemed to think it needed to be blended just a little more and turned the blender on. No lid on top. The next thing I know there's crepe batter flying all over the kitchen. It was on the counters, the cabinets, the ceiling... it was a mess to clean up.

My biggest cooking disaster would have to have been when I was about 6. A relative was staying with us for a week or so and I decided that I was going to bake muffins for breakfast before everyone else got up. Yes, at 6. Now actually I'd been baking for a little while at that point so they probably would have turned out alright. Except that my mother had decided to put the plastic dish rack in the oven to have the counter nice and tidy, and I didn't think to look in the oven before I turned it on. So instead of my family waking up to fresh muffins as I had planned they ended up waking up to me saying "uhm.. mom... the oven is on fire...."

 

[Bust*A*Stitch]

My wife made deviled eggs for holiday about 5 yrs ago, the red stuff? she used cayan pepper instead of the paprika?.

it was good. and now requested but she wont do it again.