Your thoughts..kinda need them quickly...

[ThreeMusketeers]

My daughter is having a playdate at our house today. (She is 6 1/2) And in First Grade.

She has a new friend. I called last night and invited the little girl over. I think I made it pretty clear that it was just the kids playing. And the mom said okay..what time.

Am I supposed to invite the parents in for tea and cumpets?

Or can I get away with just saying..it's so nice to meet you. Let me grab down your number in case Molly wants to talk to you. And what time would you like us to bring her home???


What's proper these days??

*I don't want to be rude, but I really don't want to be entertaining parents half the day either, i kind of just wanted my daughter to have a friend over..what's right..what's wrong..she is our only..so we have never had to do this before. (with a new family like this)*

 

[dolphindan1]

I think if its a first playdate let them in for a while meet them maybe sit with them for a few and then tell them what you said....Most parents will get the hint....if they are new parents they are probably real protective and scared to leave there child the 1st time or with someone new....

 

[Tuffcookie]

I had an "only" for 18 years before #2 DS came along!

I think that with this being the first"playdate" I would probably like it if the other mom hung around for a little bit. That way I could get to know her a little better. After all, if you invite her child to your house this time, it may be the other way around next time and you would want to know what kind of family this was.

TC

 

[Mkrop]

From what you wrote, I dont know why you are assuming the mom is staying. I dont see where she says that at all.

And this is from a mom who has had her kids beg for me to stay bc the place was unfamiliar to them. If my kids expressed this, I usually made sure it was ok with the mom first so they would know that I was hanging around, if this wasnt going to work, then we would decline the playdate for that day. I have now learned through my children to be compassionate to other families who kids may not be comfortable in unknown situations.

Now my oldest practically jumps out of the car while it is still moving , but my youngest is one of those anxious kids who would most likely not be comfortable.

A friend of mine recently had a playdate for her DD, the mom asked if she could come bc she the mom is terrified of dogs, not her DD, but did not want her DD left in the house with these dogs. My friend assured her they would be in the garage, no need to worry, (and she has done this for my oldest so I know she would lock the dogs up) But she could tell the mom did not feel comfortable and finally just realized that she needed to come, she put aside what she had planned to do that day and was a host for a couple of hours. Maybe next time the mom will be ok, who knows.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Thanks for the quick replys!!!

I guess I am not assuming she is staying. I was just wondering if you were supposed to invite them in. What's ettiquite?

 

[lookingforward]

I always stayed a bit for my kid's first play date. So, if I were you, I would invite them in with a "hi, why don't you come in for a bit". Puts them at ease. It is hard to leave a child in a home that is unknown, so to speak. The real test for me was my kid's first sleep over. THat was really hard.

 

[shortbun]

Age 6 and I don't know you, I'd be sitting there for a while as the invited guest's mother. Would you actually just drop off your 6yo at a stranger's home? After a while, tell her the play date was to occupy your daughter so you could get some things done and she'd be happy too! Tell her how happy you are the kids are friends. She'll leave eventually.

 

[mjkacmom]

In preschool, I would expect the parent to stay, even if just a few minutes. In kindy, introduce yourself and leave me your cell number. I can't imagine a parent staying once they are in first grade!

 

[kellyg403]

For a first playdate, I would always stay for a minute to get to know the mom, and yes to look around and see what your home looks like. Not dirt or anything but if you have a gun cabinet standing wide open or something. I know that probably puts me in a whole nother realm of creepy mom's but I worry alot.

Anyway, it just set me up for all those first dates, getting to know the kids my kids were hanging around with, etc etc. It amazes me how many kids are just dropped off with a wave at my house for the first time.

Kelly

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

See..I am an overprotective mom..I would be the one..staying looking for the gun cabinets...lol So that is why I rush to host playdates.

However, I am anti social. lol I never know what to say to people. And I feel too much pressure to "Entertain" when I have people in. You'd think I'd be "understanding" of people..like me. But instead..I am like..PLEASE..just drop your kid off and go! lol
Trust me, I am a nice person, my husband is nice..we have no guns AT ALL, we are overprotective to the max and would never EVER let anything happen to a child that was in our care.
But I am no good at making "small talk".

 

[kellyg403]

See..I am an overprotective mom..I would be the one..staying looking for the gun cabinets...lol So that is why I rush to host playdates.

However, I am anti social. lol I never know what to say to people. And I feel too much pressure to "Entertain" when I have people in. You'd think I'd be "understanding" of people..like me. But instead..I am like..PLEASE..just drop your kid off and go! lol
Trust me, I am a nice person, my husband is nice..we have no guns AT ALL, we are overprotective to the max and would never EVER let anything happen to a child that was in our care.
But I am no good at making "small talk".

I am the same way...same reason I usually have kids over here. I know exactly what you mean. I have a hard time being firm and saying, thanks for coming by what time do you want me to drop her back off. Any visit could last for hours while we, the parents, are looking at each other wondering what to say next. I feel your pain in that department!

Kelly

 

[dogluva]

Personally, I hate it when a parent stays. Not that I am anti-social, it is just that I only have two afternoons during the week (when I can have playdates since I work the other three) and I need that time to catch up on house work while the kids play. I never invite a child over when the parents don't know me. That way, they don't feel the need to stay. I very rarely have a parent over unless it is in the summer and we can sit by my pool (I also don't work in the summer). I hate entertaining adults, I feel anxious at all the work I need to do.

So I understand your dilema.

 

[anniemae]

I know it's hard, I feel your pain. Sometimes its hard to know what to do in these situations.

I would just smile and say, "come on in, would you like some coffee or a cold drink?" That gives her the opportunity to either accept or decline. If she accepts, just give her something to drink, then after a bit say something like, "I know the girls will have a great time today, by the way, are you okay with me dropping her off later or would you rather come back and pick her up?" She could be wondering the same thing and will probably be greatful you bring it up.

She may decline your offer for a drink and leave on her own without any prompting from you.

Good luck, and let us know how it went!

 

[Mkrop]

See..I am an overprotective mom..I would be the one..staying looking for the gun cabinets...lol So that is why I rush to host playdates.

However, I am anti social. lol I never know what to say to people. And I feel too much pressure to "Entertain" when I have people in. You'd think I'd be "understanding" of people..like me. But instead..I am like..PLEASE..just drop your kid off and go! lol
Trust me, I am a nice person, my husband is nice..we have no guns AT ALL, we are overprotective to the max and would never EVER let anything happen to a child that was in our care.
But I am no good at making "small talk".

Are the girls from the same class? Talk about how school is going, the teacher, the fact that your DD loves Art class, or how your DD thought those new spelling words were hard,an upcoming event at school, something related to the kids. People love to talk aboout their kids

 

[Tinijocaro]

My daughter is having a playdate at our house today. (She is 6 1/2) And in First Grade.

She has a new friend. I called last night and invited the little girl over. I think I made it pretty clear that it was just the kids playing. And the mom said okay..what time.

Am I supposed to invite the parents in for tea and cumpets?

Or can I get away with just saying..it's so nice to meet you. Let me grab down your number in case Molly wants to talk to you. And what time would you like us to bring her home???


What's proper these days??

*I don't want to be rude, but I really don't want to be entertaining parents half the day either, i kind of just wanted my daughter to have a friend over..what's right..what's wrong..she is our only..so we have never had to do this before. (with a new family like this)*

My thoughts, without having read any responses, are that you should invite them in briefly, have some idle chit chat. Give them a chance to decide if they are comfortable. Give them your pone number. This isn't preschool, so they shouldn't need to stay-if their daughter isn't ok with mom being gone, maybe she's not ready for playdates yet. Parents shouldn't expect to stay at this age, and I doubt these parents expect to.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Thank you for all the reply's!!!

They have their play date at 12:30 so I will let you all know. =)

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would expect her to stay. This is the first visit and they don't know you. I would want to know what type of person you are, what other people live in the house etc. 6 is young and if I don't know you then my child is not getting dropped off. Good luck!

 

[TomLovesBecky]

My daughter is having a playdate at our house today. (She is 6 1/2) And in First Grade.

She has a new friend. I called last night and invited the little girl over. I think I made it pretty clear that it was just the kids playing. And the mom said okay..what time.

Am I supposed to invite the parents in for tea and cumpets?

Or can I get away with just saying..it's so nice to meet you. Let me grab down your number in case Molly wants to talk to you. And what time would you like us to bring her home???


What's proper these days??


*I don't want to be rude, but I really don't want to be entertaining parents half the day either, i kind of just wanted my daughter to have a friend over..what's right..what's wrong..she is our only..so we have never had to do this before. (with a new family like this)*

I don't know what's proper, but I do know that no way in hell would I be leaving my 6 year old child--especially a daughter, call me sexist if you want--at the home of people I didn't know. Sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

She came, she stayed for like 2 min, just to say hello and that was it. She was gone.
Now picking up, OMG! She must have stayed an hour and "talked".

Again, I couldn't have done it. But I guess there are other parents that don't mind.