Your RSVP is too late!!

[MELSMICE]

I live in Ohio. Not Columbus, but not too far south of it.

I don't think there is anyway possible that it is going to cost another $50 for the little girl to attend. Especially since it doesn't appear that the bowling alley is supplying the goody bags.

If I were to walk in off the street into any bowling alley in this country, it is not going to cost me $50 to rent shoes, bowl one or two games, and get a piece of pizza and a drink. It just isn't, I don't care where you are.

Which, makes me question how honest the OP is being. The part about her having to drive Mary was also conveniently added in after people started telling her she should allow Mary to come. Which, may be true, I don't know. But it seems convenient that some of these over the top type things are added after it was apparent some people thought she should let her come.

You're probably right - one child is not going to cost $50, but the next party package, which could include up to 5 more children could cost $50 more.

 

[ccgirl]

I just wanted to comment really quickly at how clique a 6-7 year old can be. I have a 7 year old and you would be surprised. She is in 1st grade and there are already a number of clique's. She will come home crying that so and so won't let her in their club. Sad but true.

 

[mumom95]

You're probably right - one child is not going to cost $50, but the next party package, which could include up to 5 more children could cost $50 more.

Oh, I know that. But there is nothing stopping her from just paying for the girl to bowl, she doesn't have to officially add her to the party package. If pizza or hotdogs are involved, she could just purchase an individual.

The OP made it sound like it was going to cost $50 more for her to have the girl at the party, and I just don't believe that is the truth.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Well, this settles it. No birthday parties for DD3 in the near future. Actually, I might not even acknowledge her birthday from now on!

But you might want to reconsider. This stopped being about a birthday party many pages ago and became what I think is termed a "hat raid".

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1828365

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2410950

I hope the Mods sort all this out soon.

 

[cheermom1]

But you might want to reconsider. This stopped being about a birthday party many pages ago and became what I think is termed a "hat raid".

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1828365

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2410950

I hope the Mods sort all this out soon.

I agree, it doesn;t matter what the op decides to do it is her right to which ever she wants. and this needs to end! for the record either way the op wants to do it is ok.

 

[lillygator]

what is to sort out?

OP what did you decide to do?

 

[sbell111]

I live in Ohio. Not Columbus, but not too far south of it.

I don't think there is anyway possible that it is going to cost another $50 for the little girl to attend. Especially since it doesn't appear that the bowling alley is supplying the goody bags.

If I were to walk in off the street into any bowling alley in this country, it is not going to cost me $50 to rent shoes, bowl one or two games, and get a piece of pizza and a drink. It just isn't, I don't care where you are.

Which, makes me question how honest the OP is being. The part about her having to drive Mary was also conveniently added in after people started telling her she should allow Mary to come. Which, may be true, I don't know. But it seems convenient that some of these over the top type things are added after it was apparent some people thought she should let her come.

Honestly, as I was reading the thread, I also felt that the OP was possibly being disingenuous. This led to my googling up Columbus, OH area bowling alleys. I took a look at the first eight webpages that popped up. I couldn't view one because it required flash which isn't loaded to this computer.

I couldn't find one that had a pricing model that would result in a fifty dollar extra charge to go from ten children to eleven at a birthday party. Most alleys had a simple policy of paying X dollars per kid. Two alleys did gear parties to a specific number of children (6 kids at one, 8 at the other). One of these compaines allowed additional kids for a few dollars extra ($5 to $9, depending on package). The other lane's prices was merely $20-30 for six kids, so adding an extra cost no more than $20-30. Also, it's possible that this lane does have a policy to allow an additional guest for some small amount (like every other lane in the area) but doesn't list it on their website.

I'm still not going to stick my neck out and call the OP a fibber because that 'flash' bowling alley might be super expensive and have weird pricing models.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Holy cow, this thread is a piece of work! This is exactly why I do home parties from now on with only a handful of girls invited. I think y'all have scared some parents off from ever having another child's b-day party!

Seriously though, OP, you did nothing wrong. Mary's mom is to blame and I think it was very kind of you to invite a co-worker's DD instead given this family is going through a difficult time. Mary will most likely be disappointed but that is through no fault of the OP. Mary's mom will be the one to have to explain and my guess is that Mary will survive. Good luck OP! And maybe next year consider a home party!

ETA: We did a huge gymnastics party one year for my middle DD. It was most definitely teir pricing with only a certain number of girls allowed for a certain price. Any child over that required being bumped up to the next tier which was of course more expensive. I was so stressed out that some girls wouldn't show and I'd still have to pay for their spots, which of course ended up happening. For me, it is so much less stressful to do it at home. This year we're giving youngest DD6 a Tinker Bell tea party and she can hardly wait. Only a couple of her close friends are coming.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

what is to sort out?

OP what did you decide to do?

Well since the OP hasn't been back recently I am going to post what I think happened.

Mary was not allowed to come to the party. The OP gathered all the parents of the RSVPers and they brought their torches. The marched to Mary's house only to find a plethera of invitations hanging all over with old RSVP dates on them. They also noticed that Mary's Mom has 2 chauffers and a fleet of cars at her service. Mary's Mom is a serial Non RSVPer. The parents with the torches have now force her to wear a Scarlet NR so she can be identified forever.
Since Mary is a child instead of the letter she is forced to attend all birthday parties but cannot participate and will never get a Goody Bag because she must be taught a lesson since her Mom doesn't respond. She must only stand and watch. Not even a chair for her!
The co-worker's kid was brought in with a golden chariot and is now the first person on everyone's invite list. No more life on the B list for her! Kathy Griffin watch out!
The Bowling Alley Owner has since retired and is sitting on a stack of money from all those years of charging $50 per kid to bowl. He has a photo album of all the parents forking over the money that he leaves on his coffee table as a conversation piece. He will be on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous this week.

Did I miss anything?

 

[Took]

The people posting in this thread telling the OP to calm down seem FAR more agitated than the OP.

I agree with the posters who have basically said too bad so sad. If the OP doesn't want to fork out extra money for the child someone who couldn't be bothered to rsvp, then I don't think she should be made to feel bad about it. $20 extra could be a HUGE deal for her. Mary's mom should have rsvp'd and I wouldn't feel the least bit bad about telling Mary she can't come. that's life and maybe more kids these days need things like that to happen. I absolutely agree with the person who said this is a life lesson. If the OP tells Mary that she can't come then both Mary AND Mary's mother have learned a valuable lesson about rsvp'ing for events.

This type of mentality where we bend over backwards to make up for other people's ineptitude is exactly why so many kids today feel they don't have to work as hard. No worries, someone will come along and fix it for you.

Agree. You nailed it.

And, yes, I was late once in RSVP'ing and told the other mom that I was sorry and would explain, if needed, that there wasn't room for my DD. I got lucky--there was still room for DD. I learned my lesson, however, and was always timely about replying thereafter.

Mary's mom made a mistake. Sometimes, we can make mistakes and not pay consequences but not always. In this case, Mary's mom will have to help Mary deal with the consequences. That's life.

 

[Briarmom]

Well since the OP hasn't been back recently I am going to post what I think happened.

Mary was not allowed to come to the party. The OP gathered all the parents of the RSVPers and they brought their torches. The marched to Mary's house only to find a plethera of invitations hanging all over with old RSVP dates on them. They also noticed that Mary's Mom has 2 chauffers and a fleet of cars at her service. Mary's Mom is a serial Non RSVPer. The parents with the torches have now force her to wear a Scarlet NR so she can be identified forever.
Since Mary is a child instead of the letter she is forced to attend all birthday parties but cannot participate and will never get a Goody Bag because she must be taught a lesson since her Mom doesn't respond. She must only stand and watch. Not even a chair for her!
The co-worker's kid was brought in with a golden chariot and is now the first person on everyone's invite list. No more life on the B list for her! Kathy Griffin watch out!
The Bowling Alley Owner has since retired and is sitting on a stack of money from all those years of charging $50 per kid to bowl. He has a photo album of all the parents forking over the money that he leaves on his coffee table as a conversation piece. He will be on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous this week.

Did I miss anything?

 

[Brit17]

Well since the OP hasn't been back recently I am going to post what I think happened.

Mary was not allowed to come to the party. The OP gathered all the parents of the RSVPers and they brought their torches. The marched to Mary's house only to find a plethera of invitations hanging all over with old RSVP dates on them. They also noticed that Mary's Mom has 2 chauffers and a fleet of cars at her service. Mary's Mom is a serial Non RSVPer. The parents with the torches have now force her to wear a Scarlet NR so she can be identified forever.
Since Mary is a child instead of the letter she is forced to attend all birthday parties but cannot participate and will never get a Goody Bag because she must be taught a lesson since her Mom doesn't respond. She must only stand and watch. Not even a chair for her!
The co-worker's kid was brought in with a golden chariot and is now the first person on everyone's invite list. No more life on the B list for her! Kathy Griffin watch out!
The Bowling Alley Owner has since retired and is sitting on a stack of money from all those years of charging $50 per kid to bowl. He has a photo album of all the parents forking over the money that he leaves on his coffee table as a conversation piece. He will be on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous this week.

Did I miss anything?

 

[krcit]

Well since the OP hasn't been back recently I am going to post what I think happened.

Mary was not allowed to come to the party. The OP gathered all the parents of the RSVPers and they brought their torches. The marched to Mary's house only to find a plethera of invitations hanging all over with old RSVP dates on them. They also noticed that Mary's Mom has 2 chauffers and a fleet of cars at her service. Mary's Mom is a serial Non RSVPer. The parents with the torches have now force her to wear a Scarlet NR so she can be identified forever.
Since Mary is a child instead of the letter she is forced to attend all birthday parties but cannot participate and will never get a Goody Bag because she must be taught a lesson since her Mom doesn't respond. She must only stand and watch. Not even a chair for her!
The co-worker's kid was brought in with a golden chariot and is now the first person on everyone's invite list. No more life on the B list for her! Kathy Griffin watch out!
The Bowling Alley Owner has since retired and is sitting on a stack of money from all those years of charging $50 per kid to bowl. He has a photo album of all the parents forking over the money that he leaves on his coffee table as a conversation piece. He will be on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous this week.

Did I miss anything?

 

[harleyquinn]

Yep..DD is never having a bday party. This is insane.

 

[JUJU814]

Well, this settles it. No birthday parties for DD3 in the near future. Actually, I might not even acknowledge her birthday from now on!

 

[Heidict]

But you might want to reconsider. This stopped being about a birthday party many pages ago and became what I think is termed a "hat raid".

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1828365

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2410950

I hope the Mods sort all this out soon.

Huh? Those threads having nothing to do with this thread. What are you talking about?

 

[Mermaid02]

What is a hat raid?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You did nothing wrong. If there was a limit and the girl failed to respond in time, that is their problem and not yours.

I have responded late for birthday party invites. Did so just recently in fact. I let the hostess know (it was a message) that I would totally understand if it was too late as they were at a venue that could have had such limitations.

It ended up not being a problem and we were welcome anyway--but if not, that was my fault and it would have been petty and childish to blame the hostess.

To me--cost is not the issue. Courtesy is and when an invite says please RSVP by _____ date....even if the event was totally free....you run the risk of being not being welcomed if you couldn't be bothered to RSVP. Even if you "forgot".


FWIW--we did the bowling alley birthday party and while the per child cost isn't that much--once you reach the limit per lane (I think our place was 6)--then you have to rent an extra lane. They don't charge per kid--they charge per lane. So failing to RSVP and then expected the come after calling a few hours before the party would cost an extra $60 (reg bowling) or $75 (cosmic bowling) (at our alley) and a call to the bowling alley to scramble to set up the additional lane.

That is too much to ask when one cannot honor the deadline. There also may not be the additional alley space. Our alley gets pretty packed and they may not have that extra lane.

 

[LunchladyDoris]

What is a hat raid?

Yeah I have heard that mentioned and never understood what it meant, will someone clarify or the person who mentioned it, please explain?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

If you called the bowling alley to add one more child and they tried to say it would be an additional $50 I would consider that absolutely ridiculous and bad business.

If after calling to add one more and they dont work with you just pay the $10 it costs to bowl 2 games with shoes and buy her the slice of pizza or hot-dog.

Actually it is not bad business. It requires an extra lane. Lane that could be used to make more money than on 1 kid.

Plus--the celebration would be "off"--b/c this extra lane is separated by virtue of not sharing the ball return.

Bowling alleys do not seem to have a problem booking these events with this policy.

To those who say that the money shouldn't be a big deal--I offer you the opportunity to offer the OP the cash to make it happen.