Your Opinions, Please

[bballmom56]

Believe me, I understand your emotions! It takes me a while to become objective where my children are concerned, but it's important to calm down first and look at it from all sides. This may have nothing to do with the situation you have explained! It might be something else completely.

What I do now is send a note (DS is in high school and we can do it by email) asking the teacher about the problem. I don't go into a big explanation in the first contact. Let the teacher explain first, then you can react to that. For one example, DS had a C- for a marking period and an F for a mid-term grade in an art class. Of course, we were upset - how could this be? Doesn't he like our son? Art is a subjective topic. This isn't fair, etc., etc. Instead of saying all that in the first contact, I just said "DS got a C- for the marking period and an F on the midterm exam. He was really surprised by that. Could you explain why?" The teacher emailed me right back and said DS was missing an assignment that was given while DS was out sick and if he gets that one in he will have a B. And he had computer problems with the midterm grades, so he will look into that. Problem solved without a big mess, and it had nothing to do with what we were thinking it was!

So if you send a note just saying "Y has an N for behavior, could you please explain why?" you'll give the teacher a chance to explain first and then you can respond directly.

Good luck! Parenting is not easy!

 

[Pinnie]

Speaking as a teacher who has taught for almost 28 years, I think you would be better served by a conference than that letter you were planning to send.

Remember there is more than ONE side to the story and before you make judgements on the teacher, get ALL the facts.

Like someone said in an earlier post, this time of the year seems to foster more negative behaviors. I always feel that the kids have just spent quite a few months together and are almost akin to being siblings.

pin

 

[dandave]

I ripped up the letter earlier today, and I simply wrote a note that I am requesting a conference. Just talking about it here and reading your responces has helped calm me down some.
I realize that I need to be calm, in order to resolve this. Calm is not one of my virtues, however. I was taught to always listen to my teacher and to do what the teacher said. I guess that's why I dread conferences. I'm 34, but whenever I step foot in the classroom for a conference, I feel like a little kid again.
At this point I'll just ask you all to keep your fingers crossed that I remain calm and do not turn into a big bowl of "duh" flavored jell-o, when I go to the conference. Again, thank you all!

 

[faithinkarma]

Don't forget to let us know how you make out please.

 

[dandave]

Other than my having a mild anxiety attack during the conference , I think it went very well. She didn't know the extext of the following around, pestering, and daily "reporting", until I told her. Since she had seen these two together so much, she thought they were "friends but constantly fighting". She had seen this child always coming up to me after school, but didn't realize that it was to give me reports.
The teacher is going to have a talk with the whole class to let them know the importance of telling her when something is happening to them that makes them uncomfortable.

 

[faithinkarma]

Glad to hear of a positive outcome.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Good for you! I am happy to hear that things are clear now. Also a good lesson for your son to talk to his teacher when things are uncomfortable.