Your child's school rules: the stupid, weird, or just plain annoying

[jodifla]

Oh good god now its about "showing mercy". Please stop making excuses, its clear you don't believe the rules apply to you and your kid, and you've been called out on it. Like I said before, I would rather my kids learn a lesson from having to deal with the consequences of their action than teach them that its okay if they don't follow the rules, mom will strong arm her way around them.

Just because someone decides to slap it down on a piece of paper, doesn't mean I'm going to blindly follow it -- and indeed, that's what I'll teach my child.

 

[DebIreland]

you can save that sympathy for my kids though. They will grow up in a world full of snowflakes whose parents taught them that they don't have to follow rules they don't like. No need to try and fight to change them through the proper channels, you can just strong arm your way through.

But they won't. How can they when they are physically malnourished, emotionally traumatized and have rib bones coming through their abdomens 'cause Mom wouldn't feed them.

 

[DebIreland]

I do fear for the children of parents who teach them to blindly accept and follow any and all rules without question regardless of how inane those rules might be. If you want to live that way as an adult that's your choice. But you should really be encouraging your kids to use their independent thinking skills.

Exactly. Which is why when my eldest son forgot his lunch one day he used his brain to ask a couple of friends for something to eat. They're nice kids. They shared. He did the same for them on occasion. Same if they lose a pen or can't find a set square. A friend will share, if possible.

Honestly, it's because my boys are independent thinkers that it wouldn't cross their minds to contact me during the school day to say they'd forgotten their lunch. Maybe that's part of it. If one of my kids did call me from school (they're not allowed use mobile phones so it would be from the school office) and sounded upset because of a forgotten lunch I might drop one in. I'll admit I'm a softie. But they just don't do that. They're tough kids. Like I said before, it's different when they're little and in primary school cause then I think it's the parents job to ensure they have a lunch.

 

[erincon23]

From NotUrsula: "Banning colored "water bottles" as a way to interdict alcohol is a ridiculous exercise in beating around the bush. Simply ban the consumption of alcohol on school premises. If the problem is alcohol then address the actual problem.

Don't want guns and knives? Then ban guns and knives, not handbags."

You think there are schools out there that encourage alcohol and weapons in school? That's ridiculous. Of course they're banned in school. But these kids are teenagers -- who don't think the rules apply to them (not all, I know). If they're of a mind to drink or have a weapon available and think they want to, they'll find a way around it. The schools are looking for ways to make it harder for these troublemakers to get away with breaking the rules. And no matter how often you discuss the evils of doing these terrible things, it's still going to happen (look how much emphasis schools are putting on anti-bullying programs -- do you think it's helped? I don't, not at all).

As for water bottles in school -- it's partly for the convenience of the teacher and trying to avoid interruptions in class -- of course kids are going to be thirsty during the day, and having a quick drink can keep them a little more focused. But if you have kids jumping up to use the water fountain several times a day, or schedule a planned water fountain break, you use TONS of time away from teaching or paying attention. If the child has a water bottle available to them whenever they need it, they can quietly and discreetly take a sip without interrupting the teacher, spending 10 or more minutes in line, etc. And if you have to let kids leave the classroom to go to a water fountain, you have kids who will take advantage of that and hang out in the hallway until they're caught and told to come in.

 

[sweetlovin']

My 3rd graders teacher put in a rule just for 3rd graders. If they forget their homework that day, it will not be accepted another day. You just get a zero for that assignment. I fought it when my son was there, now I am fighting it again while my daughter is there. It is not the rule for 7th-4th or k-2nd. In their school, every grade gets to make their own rules and 3rd grade is the only one that isn't allowed to turn in late assignments.

However, my kids are allowed to call me at anytime during the day as soon as they realize they have forgotten something. I would rather drive the 30 minutes than let my 8yo get a zero for forgetting an assignment.

I think the rule is rediculous for a bunch of 8-9yos.

 

[leighe]

My 3rd graders teacher put in a rule just for 3rd graders. If they forget their homework that day, it will not be accepted another day. You just get a zero for that assignment. I fought it when my son was there, now I am fighting it again while my daughter is there. It is not the rule for 7th-4th or k-2nd. In their school, every grade gets to make their own rules and 3rd grade is the only one that isn't allowed to turn in late assignments.

However, my kids are allowed to call me at anytime during the day as soon as they realize they have forgotten something. I would rather drive the 30 minutes than let my 8yo get a zero for forgetting an assignment.

I think the rule is rediculous for a bunch of 8-9yos.

I find the rule to be perfectly appropriate. I'd rather my kid get the 0 and learn to bring their homework to school.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

What is a snowflake kid? This is a new term to me. I just heard it on here for the first time. I finally learned what a Helicopter mom is, someone who hovers over their child all the time, but the inference I am taking from the context in which this word is being used sounds like snowflake is meant to be an insult to a child? Insinuating that the child will grow up to be a sissy or a spoiled child? Or am I way off base with that?

 

[DisneyJules]

I really don't mean to offend you.....and I have posted this in other threads......but why are people so uptight about rules these days?

Yes, I know seem silly, but I bet most are not arbitrary, and there is a legitimate reason for them. In some cases I suspect something happened and some angry parent wanted to know why there wasn't a rule against that in the first place.

And I am sincere, I don't mean to offend anyone, but sometimes I think we should just shake our heads at rules we don't like, and move on.

Totally agree! Growing up, my parents no matter what would have been on the side of the school, no matter how annoying those rules are as a student! And yes, some are a little ridiculous but they are in place for a reason.

 

[leighe]

And while I agree that a lot of the no backpack, no water bottles, etc., rules are ridiculous, I think we should also keep in mind that a lot of those rules are in place as CYA insurance for schools because we live in such a litigious, everyone-is-a-victim society.

 

[jodifla]

My 3rd graders teacher put in a rule just for 3rd graders. If they forget their homework that day, it will not be accepted another day. You just get a zero for that assignment. I fought it when my son was there, now I am fighting it again while my daughter is there. It is not the rule for 7th-4th or k-2nd. In their school, every grade gets to make their own rules and 3rd grade is the only one that isn't allowed to turn in late assignments.

However, my kids are allowed to call me at anytime during the day as soon as they realize they have forgotten something. I would rather drive the 30 minutes than let my 8yo get a zero for forgetting an assignment.

I think the rule is rediculous for a bunch of 8-9yos.

And it's so wonderfully arbitrary, considering no other grades follow it.

Parents think rules like this are great because it causes enough anxiety in children to get them to conform, and adults are all about kids conforming.

But what arbitrary and capricious rules do is just make kids angry and anxious. Yeah, they'll learn to follow the rules, and if that's the only skill you want in your child, then you're all set.

 

[leighe]

And it's so wonderfully arbitrary, considering no other grades follow it.

Parents think rules like this are great because it causes enough anxiety in children to get them to conform, and adults are all about kids conforming.

But what arbitrary and capricious rules do is just make kids angry and anxious. Yeah, they'll learn to follow the rules, and if that's the only skill you want in your child, then you're all set.

I'm pretty sure that turning homework in is one time that it's pretty reasonable to expect a child to "conform."

You know, kind of like when your boss gives you a project and a due date. That's also usually a pretty good reason for "conforming."

I think there is a huge, huge difference between someone teaching their child blind obedience to any form of authority (which, so far, no one here has advocated) and expecting them to follow simple rules - even if some of those rules do seem unnecessary.

 

[kaytieeldr]

You know nothing about me. You don't know who I am, or how I've raised my children. You assume that I expect everyone to bend for my kids. You know NOTHING.

I am not making excuses. I don't believe I am above the rules. I believe this particular rule is bogus and I am not the only parent who thinks so. I have spoken with the guidance counselor regarding it, and I think the rule needs to be changed. Or tweaked.

As far as mercy....Yes....this is about showing someone mercy. To me it is. You can roll your eyes all you want to. I feel sorry for you. (and I'm sure you'll have a comeback for that too...which is fine. Persecute away. I can take it.) And yes, I hope when you are down and out and need it most, someone will have mercy on you. I really do.

I'm finished. Goodbye.

You really feel persecuted because someone called you out for flouting a rule you feel is bogus? Wow.

You can complain to the guidance counselor all you want. She or he doesn't set the rules. Go to the Principal, or the Superintendent, or the School Board. Find out why the rule exists. Get involved. Work to get the rule changed.

Don't just whine that it's a stupid rule.

 

[kaytieeldr]

You think there are schools out there that encourage alcohol and weapons in school? That's ridiculous. Of course they're banned in school. But these kids are teenagers -- who don't think the rules apply to them (not all, I know).

Based on some of the attitudes displayed in this thread, that doesn't surprise me in the least

 

[luvmy3]

Just because someone decides to slap it down on a piece of paper, doesn't mean I'm going to blindly follow it -- and indeed, that's what I'll teach my child.

What do you mean you won't blindly follow it? Do you mean you will question those rules you disagree with and if you feel they need to change, you do what you can to change it? Or do you just not follow it at all because you just don't like what it says? If its the latter, its not really something I'd be proud to admit, especially to my own children.

 

[kaytieeldr]

What is a snowflake kid? This is a new term to me. I just heard it on here for the first time. I finally learned what a Helicopter mom is, someone who hovers over their child all the time, but the inference I am taking from the context in which this word is being used sounds like snowflake is meant to be an insult to a child? Insinuating that the child will grow up to be a sissy or a spoiled child? Or am I way off base with that?

The first paragraph here http://hellogiggles.com/special-snowflakes is a pretty good description . Also try urbandictionary.com

 

[diamondpixienc]

The only one that I thought was petty for this year was the banning of the feathers that the girls are having put into their hair. I mean I don't think a feather in the hair would interfere w/ learning?

 

[sweetlovin']

And it's so wonderfully arbitrary, considering no other grades follow it.

Parents think rules like this are great because it causes enough anxiety in children to get them to conform, and adults are all about kids conforming.

But what arbitrary and capricious rules do is just make kids angry and anxious. Yeah, they'll learn to follow the rules, and if that's the only skill you want in your child, then you're all set.

Exactly! I can see it getting harsher as they get older, but the 5th-7th grade rule is a few points check instead of a check plus then 2 or more days a check minus. So, in 3rd grade they get zeros, but in 7th more than 2 days the teachers tell you to turn it in because a check minus is better than a zero.

I would call a meeting or talk to the parents if this was habitual or there was a child that you could easily tell was not doing the homework. My child was doing her homework and just forgot to pack it up (more than once within this quarter, but not more than once a week.) My kids know how important it is to not get a zero. When you are an adult with a project and you "forget" it at home, you have the ability to turn around and go get it. Since the kids are not permitted to leave the school, calling me is the solution for my kids.

I would rather my kids get straight A's than get a zero for being a typical person, forgetting something once in a while.

 

[torinsmom]

The only one that I thought was petty for this year was the banning of the feathers that the girls are having put into their hair. I mean I don't think a feather in the hair would interfere w/ learning?

Maybe they were taking them out and playing with them I can tell you I banned silly bands in my class when the kids were going crazy over them. They were distracting and caused quite a few arguments. My students (4-5 years) know that if their watch, jewelry, hairbands, etc. are removed from their proper place, they become a toy and are mine until the end of the day. Who let their child wear a tiara to school anyway?

 

[Jaybird6]

I worked at a middle school in South Carolina where the students could only move in the halls in a counter-clockwise motion. So if their next class was to the left of mine, they actually had to turn right, follow the hall to the end, then turn with the hall and head to the left. The kids HATED it, and we had to stand in the halls during class changes to enforce the rule.

They also couldn't use the restroom during class changes, so my half of my class was kids asking to go to the bathroom.

 

[mjantz]

Maybe they were taking them out and playing with them I can tell you I banned silly bands in my class when the kids were going crazy over them. They were distracting and caused quite a few arguments. My students (4-5 years) know that if their watch, jewelry, hairbands, etc. are removed from their proper place, they become a toy and are mine until the end of the day. Who let their child wear a tiara to school anyway?

If the feathers are like the ones DD & I had in our hair this summer they are in permanently with a crimp thing. We washed our hair with them & everything. They can't be removed without cutting them out or going to a salon & having them taken out.