Your child's school rules: the stupid, weird, or just plain annoying

[disykat]

Precisely!

Wow! I must be a selfish cow! Years ago when my boys were very young then yes, maybe twice over the years I brought their lunch in to the school (it was allowed) but that hasn't happened since they were 7 or 8 or so. At that age I still felt it was my job to make sure they had their lunch with them so yes I'd drop it off (as I say rarely). I would apologise profusely to the school secretary and I would insist that she pass the lunch on in her time when it was convenient.

If my 17 or 14 year old forgot their lunch now, not only would they go hungry, they'd get a telling off from me and their Dad. I'm a demon. lol! It has taken quite a bit of work to 'train' my 14 year old to remember all his stuff. He can be very unfocused and when he started secondary school he regularly forgot books, pens, folders, etc. But the work has paid off. He doesn't forget things anymore. If I made a habit of dropping things off at his school, oh my God, he'd forget 10 things a day.



I can't begin to imagine the chaos of allowing parents unlimited access to their kids during the day. You do realise you'd have parents of snowflakes coming in for a chat, for a hug, to bring a little treat, to check their kid's work etc. Those parents exist. Teachers have it hard enough without those constant interruptions. It's important for the welfare of all the kids that schools minimize interruptions.

Okay, you've said yourself you were one of the parents that did it in elementary school. Can't the majority of us agree there's a place between "no parent is ever allowed to rescue..." and "parents can always..." ? I'm in total agreement that constant interuptions are bad. However, I taught for quite a few years and don't remember ever having an issue with these kinds of interuptions. Maybe 2 or 3 times a year total. I never felt the need to say never - it wasn't an issue - and, if it's important enough to the student, I'd rather have a drop in rescue than an extremely stressed out student.

 

[mhsjax]

Precisely!

Wow! I must be a selfish cow! Years ago when my boys were very young then yes, maybe twice over the years I brought their lunch in to the school (it was allowed) but that hasn't happened since they were 7 or 8 or so. At that age I still felt it was my job to make sure they had their lunch with them so yes I'd drop it off (as I say rarely). I would apologise profusely to the school secretary and I would insist that she pass the lunch on in her time when it was convenient.

If my 17 or 14 year old forgot their lunch now, not only would they go hungry, they'd get a telling off from me and their Dad. I'm a demon. lol! It has taken quite a bit of work to 'train' my 14 year old to remember all his stuff. He can be very unfocused and when he started secondary school he regularly forgot books, pens, folders, etc. But the work has paid off. He doesn't forget things anymore. If I made a habit of dropping things off at his school, oh my God, he'd forget 10 things a day. It is part of my job as his Mom to train him to focus and to look after his stuff and plan ahead.



I can't begin to imagine the chaos of allowing parents unlimited access to their kids during the day. You do realise you'd have parents of snowflakes coming in for a chat, for a hug, to bring a little treat, to check their kid's work etc. Those parents exist. Teachers have it hard enough without those constant interruptions. It's important for the welfare of all the kids that schools minimize interruptions.

Pass the lunch on, you do realize that they just look up the teacher and call the student over the speaker to the office, they don't even have to get up off of their chair. Do you really think they get up and hand walk it down to the child?

 

[mhsjax]

Okay, you've said yourself you were one of the parents that did it in elementary school. Can't the majority of us agree there's a place between "no parent is ever allowed to rescue..." and "parents can always..." ? I'm in total agreement that constant interuptions are bad. However, I taught for quite a few years and don't remember ever having an issue with these kinds of interuptions. Maybe 2 or 3 times a year total. I never felt the need to say never - it wasn't an issue - and, if it's important enough to the student, I'd rather have a drop in rescue than an extremely stressed out student.

It's the Dis boards, you know how it is, it is all or nothing. Funny, no one I know in real life in anything like the people her on the Dis. I think most people here are full of it.

 

[mamacatnv]

If we remember the original post, the OP was talking about her 12 year old Middle Schooler. With age IMO comes increased personal responsibility.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

thank goodness our school does not have most of these ridiculous rules.

the one I don't like is: no water bottles or any drink at all. They can have water bottles in their lunches, but they have to be finished or thrown away before they leave. The water bottle nazis make the rounds and stand there and make you finish it. What exactly is the difference between having it in your locker before lunch and having it in your locker after lunch?

I think this is ridiculous and over the top. I can understand the clear liquids only, but they should be allowed to have water. You can't take everything away from the many just because the few MIGHT take advantage.

Personally, water fountains don't help because DD's classes are in one corner and everything else - lunch, gym, music, her locker are in another corner. Sometimes she barely has time to make it to class without a stop at the locker. She spends all day going back and forth. It's crazy, they did make a special accommodation for her to bring her viola home because her last class is at one end, her locker on the other side, orchestra room just takes her that much further away, and then she has to go back near the last class to go outside to her bus - crazy!!!

For those schools that don't allow backpacks/purses, can the girls at least go to the nurse's office for supplies? I know they are good about here, even without the restrictions.

 

[mhsjax]

If we remember the original post, the OP was talking about her 12 year old Middle Schooler. With age IMO comes increased personal responsibility.

Also with a 12 year old CHILD, comes a learning curve. Homework has never been allowed in by the parent starting in 4th grade, no biggie, Lunch yep they allow it. As long as it isn't an on going thing there isn't a problem. Like I said adults forget things, they have ways of dealing with it, CHILDREN don't, and lets not forget, these are children. And mine won't go hungry because while they were doing everything else in the am to get ready for school, they may have happened to forget a lunch, or actually money, no one I know takes a lunch, most kids in MS here wouldn't be caught dead doing that. EVen then they are allowed to purchase something and create a negative balance one time.

We will never agree, thank God my school is reasonable with this, although as I have stated, I have never had to use it in Middle school.

 

[mhsjax]

thank goodness our school does not have most of these ridiculous rules.

the one I don't like is: no water bottles or any drink at all. They can have water bottles in their lunches, but they have to be finished or thrown away before they leave. The water bottle nazis make the rounds and stand there and make you finish it. What exactly is the difference between having it in your locker before lunch and having it in your locker after lunch?

I think this is ridiculous and over the top. I can understand the clear liquids only, but they should be allowed to have water. You can't take everything away from the many just because the few MIGHT take advantage.

Personally, water fountains don't help because DD's classes are in one corner and everything else - lunch, gym, music, her locker are in another corner. Sometimes she barely has time to make it to class without a stop at the locker. She spends all day going back and forth. It's crazy, they did make a special accommodation for her to bring her viola home because her last class is at one end, her locker on the other side, orchestra room just takes her that much further away, and then she has to go back near the last class to go outside to her bus - crazy!!!

For those schools that don't allow backpacks/purses, can the girls at least go to the nurse's office for supplies? I know they are good about here, even without the restrictions.

OUr girls can carry a purse and a backpack. Big backpacks must stay in their lockers and they just put what they need in a small sling back pack. As far as girls, the teachers don't question when girl has to go to the bathroom. These schools are getting over the top, I wonder where these school are, because they aren't around here. If they were, I would leave.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

Pass the lunch on, you do realize that they just look up the teacher and call the student over the speaker to the office, they don't even have to get up off of their chair. Do you really think they get up and hand walk it down to the child?

exactly!

people forget things from time to time - even teenage people.....

we aren't allowed to roam the school, but we are allowed to drop things at the attendance desk...

 

[Cindy B]

Ok here's a few:

Non-air conditioned old building.

No fans, window unit or other air conditioner permitted in room
Students are only allowed to wear uniform pants or knee length or longer shorts.
Students can NOT bring water bottles of any kind or bring any empty bottles

Student can only get water from water area certain times of day in specific school supplied cups only.

Students may only walk in the hallways escorted by teacher/aide. No parents allowed near the classrooms, the teacher must come down to the office.

Parent teacher conferences for school in one large room for security reasons.

 

[DebIreland]

Pass the lunch on, you do realize that they just look up the teacher and call the student over the speaker to the office, they don't even have to get up off of their chair. Do you really think they get up and hand walk it down to the child?

No, not in my boys primary school. They didn't have a PA system so yep the school secretary would "really get up and hand walk it down to the child". Their secondary school is big and does have that system.

Okay, you've said yourself you were one of the parents that did it in elementary school. Can't the majority of us agree there's a place between "no parent is ever allowed to rescue..." and "parents can always..." ?

Yes of course. That's exactly why I said in my post that I did it a couple of times when my boys were young because I felt it was my job to make sure I gave them their lunch when they were that age. I also have a 7yo daughter and I feel it's my job to make sure her lunch is in her bag. But I was agreeing with mamacatnv who said she wouldn't drop off a lunch for a 12/13 year old. Other posters seemed appalled at this. It seemed to me that some posters think no age is too old to be expected to remember your own lunch. That's odd to me. I don't personally know any parents that would drop off a lunch for a young teenager. Honestly, if I dropped in a lunch for my 17yo and the secretary called over the PA 'E.... your mom has dropped food in for you, come to the office' he would just about die from embarrassment.

 

[DebIreland]

It's the Dis boards, you know how it is, it is all or nothing. Funny, no one I know in real life in anything like the people her on the Dis. I think most people here are full of it.

Yeah, anyone who says they wouldn't drop off a lunch for a 12+ kid must be full of it.

And mine won't go hungry because while they were doing everything else in the am to get ready for school, they may have happened to forget a lunch, or actually money, no one I know takes a lunch, most kids in MS here wouldn't be caught dead doing that. EVen then they are allowed to purchase something and create a negative balance one time.
.

Wow! I'm really glad bringing a lunch from home is the norm here. I have to wonder at a kid's mentality who wouldn't be caught dead with a lunch from home. That's sad. My kids eat stuff from home every day. They're grateful for what they get.

 

[descovy]

ummm...that is what the lockers are for.... I guess you have not been inside a classroom with 20+ kids at desks with 20+ backbpacks all over the floor? Middle School Lunch lady here and our school starting this year told the kids they are no longer allowed to carry their backpacks from class to class. The teachers I see are very happy.

hahaha That's what my kids' middle school looks like every day. The school is built for 1300 students, and is so overcrowded this year that NO ONE gets a locker. Not emough lockers to go around. So yeah... 1500-1600(?) middle schoolers with BIG backpacks strapped on their backs, roaming the halls, setting them next to their desks.

And yes, they have to be huge. Math requires a 1 1/5" binder, and 5 other subjects requiring their own spiral + folder. Add a sweater, lunch, water bottle, math textbook, english book, yeah BIG BACKPACK.

Oddly enough, the teachers encourage cell phone use in class. Kids with smartphones, itouches etc... have wifi to look things up. Even my kid with a basic "dumb phone" says her teacher encouraged her to put her homework assignments in the phone. So figure that one out!!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

The average 12 year old is not going to die from missing lunch. Lets be reasonable and think clearly.

I can't think clearly.....I missed lunch.

 

[SandrA9810]

I went to one high school with no backpacks, but it was a tiny private school (50 kids total in my grade). It wasn't a big deal to go to the lockers between class. Sometimes I'd grab two subjects to avoid the hassle of every one at the lockers. They were big enough to hold the books and a bags. But at my previous schools, they were tiny little cubes... No way would that work out, plus the size of the school didn't work well. It was too big.

Lets look at the more logical sense for clear bottles, they want water in them. Not sports drinks or soda. If your kid bikes to school and needs a gatorade at the end of the ride, then he can put that bottle in his locker till the end of the day.
When I worked for Disney, it was the same thing, they distributed clear bottles and that was the only thing acceptable. Granted we had little black neoprene holders, so non water drinks just didn't get filled to the top.

But the more obvious reason for a clear rule is to make sure kids are drinking water and not soda.

Clear/mesh backpacks are insane. Mostly because they're not strong enough to hold up to school books. Plus the notebooks for each class.

I can deal with no bags during class, but let them have something strong enough to carry books in, to and from school.

One school, public, that I went to didn't allow shorts. I never really knew the rule as I didn't start there till a month into the school year. And I always wore pants to school. But apparently skirts were ok, so girls still looked like hoochies.

 

[lisateaches]

YOu would just have to get pissed at me. But then again our school doesn't have that rule about lunch, and they will let them eat. My DD can't eat before she leaves for school, she doesn't get home until 2:30. Sorry but if she goes that long without eating she gets sick, and no I won't allow that. Adults can deal with it at work, they can leave, they can get co workers to get them something, why should a child be different. For me it is a 10 minute drive, why does that offend you so much? HOmework, ye I agree and our school doesn't allow it, but food is a different story.

I love my kids school also, they are reasonable about things like lunch. I love them.

No, as an adult I cannot leave to get lunch if I forget it. I have a thirty minute lunch. After I allow the two minutes to drop students off for lunch and two minutes to pick them up, take away two minutes to pee ( the only time I usually have ALL day), I have 24 minutes for lunch. NO, I cannot leave if I forgot lunch. I could pay double what the students pay for prepackaged food, but I'd rather go a little hungry. I can eat when I get home at 4.

Trust me, after teaching for 16 years I've seen a steep decline in the ability of a child to take responsibility for their actions. I don't have a huge problem with the lunch thing, because most likely the child would just whine that they haven't eaten anything all day. Everybody forgets something every once in awhile. It doesn't mean they are a terrible child.

 

[aprilgail2]

I don't know if dd can carry a purse, but you can't use backpacks to go from class to class, same as when I was there. I can't imagine where the students would put the backpacks when they got to class.
.

The kids in our Jr and Sr high carry backpacks all day-most don't use a locker at all in high school. In Jr High they can only go to their locker in the morning, after lunch and at the end of the day so thy need to carry most of their things with them.

I didn't make the rules, thank you.lol It does prevent from bringing in Jack and what not. So it won't prevent moonshine or vodka. but you know if they weren't allowed any bottles, there would be outraged parents because their kid shouldnt have to use the water fountain.

Well-as a kid who was always "pushing the rules" we used to take oranges and inject them with vodka--so while we sat at lunch eating our "healthy lunch" we were eating a vodka laced orange!

DS12 is in middle school (7th grade). They do not allow drop offs of any kind. No forgotten homework, books, instruments, gym clothes, etc. While I understand WHY, and I do agree with the sink or swim on those things, and hopefully the lessons learned, they also do not allow drop offs of lunch or lunch money.

I did strong arm my way into the office once last year, and the secretary made me feel like garbage for dropping of my DS's forgotten lunch. It only happened one time. I told her there was no way I was letting my kid starve for the day. If he forgot his homework, then he would have to deal with those consequences. But I won't let him go hungry all day.

I would not let my daughter go all day without lunch simply because she is in school WAY longer than 6 hours most days- some days she goes in for before school gifted class, has a club right after school, then track and field and from there she goes to drama rehearsal until 630pm---so for 12 hours she is in school...no way would I make her go 12 hours without food. And if the school would not let me drop off lunch for her I would just pick her up, eat and bring her back to school!

I do know our schools have a rule of no unnatural hair colors and nothing like big spiked Mohawks. No earrings on boys, no unnatural piercings like lips and eyebrows.
!

Our schools are really weird, each school in the same district is run differently-one of the grade school has the no unnatural hair rule, my daughters school did not and she had the bottom 6 inches of her hair dyed blue in 5th grade. The Jr. High has no unnatural colors or weird haircuts. The high school there are basically NO rules, the kids have any hair they want, any clothes they want...

 

[LilyWDW]

My opinion (and yes, this is only an opinion) is that a school has no right to tell you you can't have access to your children during the day and that is in a way what they are doing by telling you that you can't bring lunch to your child. Admittedly, that opinion may be strongly influenced by having gone to small private schools and not having rules like these when I was growing up.

You can have that opinion all you want, but when you enroll your child in a school, you are agreeing to abide by the rules and regulations set forth. Those rules and regulations are available for you to look at before you make a decision. If you do not agree with those rules, then you have a few options:

1) Homeschool
2) Send your child to another school
3) Register your child and suck it up
4) Register your child and attempt to get the rules changed through proper channels.

Note: (At this point, this is a general "you" and not directed in any way, shape, or form at the PP quoted) No where on here is the option that you should simply throw the rules out the window and do whatever you want. Act like an adult, not like a child throwing a tantrum.

 

[aaarcher86]

My favorite stupid rule that landed me multiple Saturday schools in high school......

Socks must be above the ankle.

I've never figured out why. I'm 98% sure that my ankles aren't keeping anyone from focusing in class!

 

[dimimi]

DS12 is in middle school (7th grade). They do not allow drop offs of any kind. No forgotten homework, books, instruments, gym clothes, etc. While I understand WHY, and I do agree with the sink or swim on those things, and hopefully the lessons learned, they also do not allow drop offs of lunch or lunch money.

I have a HUGE problem with that. If your child does not have money in their lunch account, and they forget their lunch, they will not get ANYTHING to eat. They do not get a sandwich, or crackers, or anything. They don't get three strikes. You forget even one time, and you are S.O.L. I don't know how this is going to teach them any kind of lesson- except that they will be hungry and will not be able to focus on school lessons that day.

I did strong arm my way into the office once last year, and the secretary made me feel like garbage for dropping of my DS's forgotten lunch. It only happened one time. I told her there was no way I was letting my kid starve for the day. If he forgot his homework, then he would have to deal with those consequences. But I won't let him go hungry all day.

These rules always amaze me...and I'm a teacher. I can understand if someone forgets all of the time...but assuming it is rare...I just don't understand. I wonder what the secretary does if she forgets her lunch? I will bet she has other options. I wonder what she does if she forgets her purse at home? I'll bet she goes back for it...but kids can't forget?

 

[dimimi]

Honestly, if I dropped in a lunch for my 17yo and the secretary called over the PA 'E.... your mom has dropped food in for you, come to the office' he would just about die from embarrassment.[/QUOTE]

That doesn't happen either. In our school...believe it or not, I never had to drop off a lunch...but once our son forgot his glasses. Our son texts us and then we text him that his glasses are in the office. (7th grade.)