Young dating...

[Sparx]

well, I'm sorry you went through that.
But can you explain to me why exactly you think that one person can't love someone with out that person loving them back, because I really don't understand, and I would like to.

Well, I believe that love is a shared thing. Its a two way street. I think that infatuation is one side of it, and if the other side isn't shared, thats all it will ever be. To love and not be loved in return will drive you crazy. In love, you would give everything over to that person, and if they're not doing the same for you, its just enough to make a mildly unstable person (and who is stable anymore? ) crazy. Just not understanding why you're not loved like you're loving the other person. People die for love. People kill themselves for love. Love, or lack there of for that matter is a very very serious thing, and we need it to live.

So, to truly be in love, I think you need to be loved back. You don't really have to be loved back to love, but to be in love, you do. If that makes any sense.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

You can easily fall out of love with someone...just because you are dating someone does not mean they are the one you will spend the rest of your life with. **** happens.

 

[2HOT2touch]

sorry, still doesn't make any sense(not that that is un normal for me) because as babypiglet said, you can have more than one true love. So why can't I trully love one guy but he be trully in love with someone else?

why can't my boyfriend have an ex girlfriend that he trully loves, but I fell in love with him. Then he wouldn't love me back, he would love his ex girlfriend.(that is not a true senario, just a what if)

 

[Sparx]

sorry, still doesn't make any sense(not that that is un normal for me) because as babypiglet said, you can have more than one true love. So why can't I trully love one guy but he be trully in love with someone else?

why can't my boyfriend have an ex girlfriend that he trully loves, but I fell in love with him. Then he wouldn't love me back, he would love his ex girlfriend.(that is not a true senario, just a what if)

I don't believe that you only love once, so I dunno how that one works.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

I don't believe that you only love once, so I dunno how that one works.

You can definitely love more than one person...I can honestly say I have loved three guys...was one of them my true love? Turns out they weren't because we are no longer together.

 

[BabyPiglet]

You can easily fall out of love with someone...just because you are dating someone does not mean they are the one you will spend the rest of your life with. **** happens.

Yeah I know **** happens. But I just wanted to explore my options before making it more permanent with him...I can't really explain it...

2HOT I can't explain why it takes two too love.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

Yeah I know **** happens. But I just wanted to explore my options before making it more permanent with him...I can't really explain it...

2HOT I can't explain why it takes two too love.

I wasnt talking about you I was talking about 2HOT

 

[BabyPiglet]

I wasnt talking about you I was talking about 2HOT

Ohhh okay. I misinterpreted.

 

[Sparx]

Yeah I know **** happens. But I just wanted to explore my options before making it more permanent with him...I can't really explain it...

2HOT I can't explain why it takes two too love.

which options did you want to explore actually?

 

[2HOT2touch]

You can definitely love more than one person...I can honestly say I have loved three guys...was one of them my true love? Turns out they weren't because we are no longer together.

so then can you love someone that doesn't love you back?

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

so then can you love someone that doesn't love you back?

I never said you couldnt...if you look back I was not in that debate. I have loved someone that didnt love me back so I strongly belive that you can love someone that doesnt love you back BUT it is not true love until both of you love each other equally.

 

[BabyPiglet]

which options did you want to explore actually?

He was my very first boyfriend. We had been together for 3 years. I hadn't experienced any other people. I just wanted to make sure it was "him" before getting more serious. Although we were already quite serious.

Do you understand? I regret it now, I know that he was the one, and I was being childish, but it doesn't bring him back.

 

[2HOT2touch]

You can easily fall out of love with someone...just because you are dating someone does not mean they are the one you will spend the rest of your life with. **** happens.

I know, thats what I have been kind of saying. You can love someone that doesn't love you back, because you can love them and they can love you but then they might fall out of love with you and can still love them, therefore you love someone that doesn't love you back.

 

[2HOT2touch]

I never said you couldnt...if you look back I was not in that debate. I have loved someone that didnt love me back so I strongly belive that you can love someone that doesnt love you back BUT it is not true love until both of you love each other equally.

Thank you!!
That's what I was trying to explain!

 

[Sparx]

He was my very first boyfriend. We had been together for 3 years. I hadn't experienced any other people. I just wanted to make sure it was "him" before getting more serious. Although we were already quite serious.

Do you understand? I regret it now, I know that he was the one, and I was being childish, but it doesn't bring him back.

well, (please don't take this the wrong way) but if someone broke up with me for that reason, i don't see myself getting back together with them.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

He was my very first boyfriend. We had been together for 3 years. I hadn't experienced any other people. I just wanted to make sure it was "him" before getting more serious. Although we were already quite serious.

Do you understand? I regret it now, I know that he was the one, and I was being childish, but it doesn't bring him back.

The biggest mistake I ever made was letting my first boyfriend go because he was the one person I ever truly loved with all of my heart and now I can never have him back.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I know, thats what I have been kind of saying. You can love someone that doesn't love you back, because you can love them and they can love you but then they might fall out of love with you and can still love them, therefore you love someone that doesn't love you back.

Okay that is a really good point. Because I think that is the situation I am in now.

well, (please don't take this the wrong way) but if someone broke up with me for that reason, i don't see myself getting back together with them.

And I know. I feel horrible, and I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to get back together with me.

I plan on trying to have an honest conversation with him tomorrow. Next week for spring break we are all going to go to NYC. And I just don't want it to be awkward. I am not hoping for anything,as he probably hates me.

 

[2HOT2touch]

He was my very first boyfriend. We had been together for 3 years. I hadn't experienced any other people. I just wanted to make sure it was "him" before getting more serious. Although we were already quite serious.

Do you understand? I regret it now, I know that he was the one, and I was being childish, but it doesn't bring him back.

Actually I think that makes perfect sense. If you were only with one person, how would you know that he was the one with out knowing what life was like with someone else or with out him. And I think he should understand that. In the end you found out that he was the one, but atleast you didn't have to wonder.

 

[dancergirlsasha]

What ifs give me headaches.
Anyways, about the young dating thing. I'm in seventh grade, and I don't have a boyfriend. As far as I am concerned, people can go out as early as they want, and I don't think it really matters how old you are to kiss/hug someone. Having sex is a whole different story. Anyways, I don't love the whole early dating thing though, because, personally, I think it pressures girls and boys at a young age to have a relationship with somebody, and if you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you get the whole "Nobody likes me" and "I'm not pretty" thing. I mean, it's a pretty early age to lose self-confidence. Which is ridiculous, because some boys might not want to ask a girl out because they're shy, so someone could like you, but you wouldn't know it.

And then, it also doesn't really give people as great of a foundation to build friends on, and when you enter Jr. High there are alot of new people to make friends with. What I'm saying is that you might not make friends with someone because you don't like who they're going out with. But if they didn't have a jerk for a boyfriend then you might have made friends with them, and still supported them when they got their boyfriend because then you would have known them for who they really were instead of "The girl who goes out with so-and-so." I'm guessing there are some people out there who see a girl, think "She is going out with him? She must be a freak!" and walk off without really getting to know somebody.

If what I just posted didn't make any sense... It's nearly midnight. I'll get back to editing or whatever later. I'm about to pass out from lack of sleep. G' Night.

 

[DramaQueen]

Anyways, I don't love the whole early dating thing though, because, personally, I think it pressures girls and boys at a young age to have a relationship with somebody, and if you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you get the whole "Nobody likes me" and "I'm not pretty" thing. I mean, it's a pretty early age to lose self-confidence. Which is ridiculous, because some boys might not want to ask a girl out because they're shy, so someone could like you, but you wouldn't know it.

this is completely true. you bring up a very good point.


all of these what if scenarios are really too hard to explain.
love comes in many different forms and situations.
i don't beleive there is one defining quality of love.
i think it happens, sometimes it is returned, sometimes not.
sometimes it hurts, sometimes it feels amazing,
sometimes you THINK you are in love, sometimes you think you ARENT but you ARE.
in this whole debate people are just focussing on th one defining aspect that they believe the is.
it's totally cool that everyone has their own opinions about love ,and i dont think this debate could EVER be settled because there are SO many different scenarios and types of love etc. etc.

that being said i absolutley love this thread and i hope it stays alive


"i'm just a fool learning loving somebody don't make them love you"
-sitting waiting wishing by jack johnson

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”
-Morrie Schwartz

“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.”
-William Somerset Maugham

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
-Mother Teresa

“One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.”
-anonymous

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”
-anonymous

“Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go.”
-Kate Winslet