Young adult children at home and dating

[Nancyg56]

Not in the state of Floirda, she would have to evict her sons...she can't just kick them out....in fact they don't have to be paying rent but contributing. My DSis could not get her boyfriend out, who had been in her house 2 weeks and contributed by buying groceries.

We have an 18 yr boy living with us, his parents kicked him out a week after he turned 18...sheriffs dept said it was not a legal eviction and suggested we take it to court.

If any of my adults kids chose to "take me to court" if I asked them to leave they would have more to worry about if they won that case. I am not talking about boyfriends.

OP- it sounds like your kids know how you feel and are trying to be respectful of your wishes. I would not try "catching" them. SOmetimes it is better to leave well enough alone.

 

[Nancyg56]

Yep this is how I feel. I'm too tired and busy to play police with adults. And my kids have given me no reason to believe they're irresponsible. But this is a topic among many coworkers and family my age. Mostly it appears I'm in the minority and they would never allow an arrangement like this in their home. Maybe they're lying. Also my home has a unique arrangement that allows a good deal of privacy. It's laid out sort of in wings. My kids have bedroom doors that open onto a deck so they and their friends can come and go as they please.

most of what people say that they would do in any given situation is what they would like to believe that they would do. THeir opinions change when they must make a decision. I would suggest that yo upay no attention to them and if you are questioned tell them that you all have made arrangements that work for you and that your children have no issue respecting your wishes.

 

[Aisling]

I see where you are coming from, simply from a privacy standpoint.

Having adult children in the home is one thing, but them having guests starts to make the home feel smaller Now add that they are having overnight guests and eeek! Unless you live in a humongous home, it could be a bit overwhelming having many adults in it at one time.

This is exactly how I was feeling when my sons started having their serious girlfriends staying into the wee hours. We have a small home and it just felt uncomfortable to me for my privacy.

I could be wrong but it sounds to me that your basically ok with them having their long term SO stay occasionally but it's the guilt of being the "good" parent and what would the neighbors think

I relate to this, too. Neighbors aren't an issue but I felt I had an image to uphold with my kids, yes even grown kids, that i was a "good" parent with morals.

I think the OPs kids sound like great kids trying to be discreet and courteous, and she just needs to be honest with them about what makes her uncomfortable. I have a feeling they're going to respond well.

Good luck, OP.

 

[disneyfans95]

At their ages they are full fledge adults. For the OP, your rules as it is your house. Tell them no nookie, sleeping over etc in your house.

they don't like it, it will motivate them to get better jobs and move out.

 

[rigs32]

Simple rule.

My DDs are 29 27. Rule was this.

You dont have sex in my house.

Go elsewhere.

Out of curiosity, would the rule remain the same after marriage?

We went to Orlando for 10 days in January. My SO's mom wanted us to stay with her the entire time. In a small condo. With thin walls. We stayed with her for 3 nights and we weren't sure if she was going to be OK with us sharing a room, even though we live together. And we are in our mid-30s.