You & SO: do you have combined or separate finances??

[LoraJ]

I agree with everyone who said you have to do what works best for you. But I do want to address one point made by a few folks with combined accounts. Not trying to argue one way or the other, just to try and explain the "completely separate" option.

To folks who say you share everything, what do you do about your cars? Do you have his car and her car, or do you have two cars that you share and drive equally? When you have his and her cars, I think you realize that both cars are "yours", but from a day to day standpoint it just works out easier for each person to use and take care of their own car.

Separate finances can work the same way. DW and I both recognize that it's all our money. But from a day to day standpoint, it just works out best for each of us to manage our own account.

I know what you're saying. I read some of these comments and it sounds like we don't hav a good relationship since we'll be keeping our money seperate. I wonder if the way couples manage their money also depends a lot on how old or established they were when they got together. If I had gotten married in my early-mid 20's i can see pooling everything together. But now I have had my checking account for years, and he's had his for over a decade too. It just seems easier to keep them and get one joint account for living expenses.

Plus, I promised him that he would never have to beg to spend his own money. He worked next to someone who always had to call his wife to ask if it was okay if he could buy a CD or a DVD. IMO, as long as the mortgage and utilities are paid for, he can spend his money however he pleases. And since he likes to buy lots of "toys", I would prefer to keep that extra money seperate.

 

[KarenAylwood]

Plus, I promised him that he would never have to beg to spend his own money. He worked next to someone who always had to call his wife to ask if it was okay if he could buy a CD or a DVD. IMO, as long as the mortgage and utilities are paid for, he can spend his money however he pleases. And since he likes to buy lots of "toys", I would prefer to keep that extra money seperate.

This is what I was thinking (only I'm the one buying "the toys"). What's important for him to spend money on isn't important for me to spend money on.

I think maybe the majority of our money joint, then we each get play money that we can do what we want with. Most things are discussed anyway in our relationship, so money is going to be no different.

Right now we do the you pay this time, I'll get next time thing and I don't like it all that much. Same with bills- I have to keep writing him checks for things. I think I'd rather have most stuff joint.

I didn't take into account the car issue. When we get married would we both insure together? He sometimes drives my car, but I never drive his (standard). His is DEFINITELY not mine in this situation- I can't even physically drive his car! Another thing to think about I guess!

Keep the opinions comin if you've got them!

 

[goodeats]

Our finances are combined. Everything that comes in is 'our' money and everything that goes out is 'our' money.

Every year we sit down and budget our expenses and savings plan. We each get 'mad' money each month for fun things (i.e. starbucks, magazines, manicures, work lunches, etc). We also budget for his hobbies and my trips to WDW with my sister.

The next year when we plan the budget we look at what we actually spent and then plan the budget from there. Quicken is a lifesaver!

 

[mamacatnv]

I have some friends that have functioned very well with completely separate finances for 15 years, but I have always wondered how they or others handle the following....

If you have completely separate financial responsibilites and take turns paying for things....How do you save for retirement or kids college????
Especially when one person is a spender and one is a saver, at what point in life will the finances merge or will they ever???

Do you have a predeterimed amount or percentage that each of you must put away so that when you get ready to send the kids to college or retire that the funds come from or are for both of you?

Just curious?

Thanks

 

[caitycaity]

When we get married would we both insure together?

depending on where you live, you might not have a choice. our state requires married ppl to be on the same insurance.

the good news is depending on how old you are, your rates will go down!

 

[suzannen]

mamacatv,
I can't speak for all who have separate accounts, but our retirement and pension plans are separated also since each is run through our individual employers. My company automatically matches 15% of my salary and invests it in my pension fund and on top of that, I make the maximum contribution allowed by law. My DH does the same. We decide together at the end of the calendar year how much will go into DD's college fund for the next year. My DH, now an owner of his own small business, was a financial analyst. He and I always agreed with saving for our future and never had the problem of one spending, while the other saves. I will probably be able to retire by age 55 since we have saved so much through all of pension, retirement and investment plans thanks to DH's great planning.

 

[DVC Sadie]

I have some friends that have functioned very well with completely separate finances for 15 years, but I have always wondered how they or others handle the following....

If you have completely separate financial responsibilites and take turns paying for things....How do you save for retirement or kids college????
Especially when one person is a spender and one is a saver, at what point in life will the finances merge or will they ever???

Do you have a predeterimed amount or percentage that each of you must put away so that when you get ready to send the kids to college or retire that the funds come from or are for both of you?

Just curious?

Thanks

The money we used to send our son to college came from an mutual fund account that we set up when he was born. We both contributed to that account 4x a year. Our 401ks were separate to begin with and when we opened up more retirement accounts we just funded them the same way. We are currently retired but are still very young so we still live the same way as always. There would be times when I wanted extra money to pay for something such as DVC and my dh would transfer the amount into my account. Other times I have transferred money into his account, once to buy a boat. It all evens out but without the "asking" for permission. This works for us.

My parents still had some individual accounts at the time of my fathers death when he was 89 years old. My mother loved her financial freedom to buy what she wanted, when she wanted without having to "ask".

 

[SC Minnie]

Both. We have a joint account that DH uses and I also have my personal account that I use for groceries, Target, etc. I only keep about $200 in my account. The joint one is for all bills. DH didn't like the fact that we would both be writing checks or debit card out of the same account. I am not good at writing things down.

I also have a credit card is my name only but we have joint one too.

 

[Aimeedyan]

We have combined accounts right now. It works for us at this point but I have no issues with moving to a split format if the need ever came up. When we married, I was in grad school and making very little so it didn't matter much LOL.

My ILs have seperate accounts now. They did bills by percentages to figure out who paid what and it works for them. I have several friends who have seperate accounts and do their finances in a similar manner.

YOu just kinda have to figure out what works best for you and your FI.

 

[Disney-Kim]

We were together 15 yrs before we actually got married. Our finances have been combined since about year 3.
We owned our house, cars, etc together before we were married. It always made sense to us.
We shared our income and paid all our bills, didn't matter whose was more.
We do the same to this day. Has always worked for us.

 

[Jeafl]

We have been totally combined since we got engaged and were saving to pay for the wedding 22 years ago. It has always worked for us. He makes all the money and I spend the money. He is a CPA so he handles all the bills as well.

As for the person who asked about the cars, all 3 of the cars are in both of our names. He just drives "his", I drive "mine" and we share the convertible for the most part. We just never have fought over financial issues. I totally agree with the person who said "we are a team". I guess that is how we have always thought of our relationship. Different things work for different people.

 

[Sunkissed]

We opened a joint checking account about a year, year and a half ago, for vacation and wedding expenses. In addition, we each have individual checking and saving accounts. Until we started talking about a long-term commitment, I'm not sure I would have been comfortable with a joint acct., but now it is extremely beneficial.

 

[Bunchkin]

Joint everything for us!

Having seperate accounts never had been brought up.
All though DH is bad at letting me know what he's used his debit card for. So I have to ask all the time!

 

[ceiligh1]

I have posted about this before so I will try and keep it simple. We pool our money into joint checking and savings acounts. We each get an allowance for whatever we want to buy that goes into our individual savings and checking account. All the family bills get paid out of joint. THe only thing allowence is for is we can go without having to explain to each other why it is so important to have something. It allows me to feed my pottery addiction my DH can go buy the latest xbox or computer. This way we also can pool our money to buy something big for the house so that it does not impact our budget. It works for us as it eliminates the need to beg/ask if we can buy something and it also treats each of our contributions equally as he does not keep more money then I do as he makes a lot more.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

we have one checcking account that everything goes into.
i have my savings account at work in my name only
dh has one in his name only that he's extra job/gifts go into

this has worked for 22 years now

 

[buckylarue]

Our checking and savings accounts are combined. The Disney stock is in my name, the bonds and 401(K) are in my partner's. I have survivorship rights on his accounts and he has on mine.

 

[Pugdog007]

If you have completely separate financial responsibilites and take turns paying for things....How do you save for retirement or kids college????
Especially when one person is a spender and one is a saver, at what point in life will the finances merge or will they ever???

Do you have a predeterimed amount or percentage that each of you must put away so that when you get ready to send the kids to college or retire that the funds come from or are for both of you?

Just curious?

Thanks

We don't take turns paying for things - the bills are split down the middle every month. I pay all of it out of my account and give him a "bill" for his portion and he writes me a check.

I've saved for DD's college - and will split those bills in half with her Dad (who is not DH/DSO).

We both have separate retirement accounts with our respective employers.

There is no intention to merge accounts at any point in the future. I spend much more than he does... I also make much more than he does. So it evens out in the end.

It works for us.