You & SO: do you have combined or separate finances??

[KarenAylwood]

DBF and I plan on getting married in a few years but are currently living together. It's going great, and we're keeping our finances separate right now (I think my mom would LOSE IT if we combined them without being married).

We talk about it sometimes because we have a few married friends. The few married couples I know (in their 20s like us) have totally combined finances- one account for both of them (or a few accounts, but all money is accessible by both).

My parents on the other hand have separate finances- one combined checking acct for both, then they each have their own. They don't have an equal income distribution - dad owns his own company, mom works for the state, so I think dad contributes more to the combined finances but it doesn't seem like it's very organized. They were each married before and had combined finances, then got screwed by their ex's, so I think that's why they've kept them separate.

DBF and I have different spending habits (I'm getting better!) but neither of us are irresponsible enough to spend our way into debt or anything (no CC debt between the two of us). DBF is in med school and living on loans, I just got my first full-time job making about 40K / year with the ~99% chance I'll move up to about 55K within a year.

Do you think that it is too messy to keep separate finances or too messy to combine them? Is being separate "selfish"? (as one of his friends said) or does it just give you a sense of independence? DBF will be making FAR more than me eventually, but not for another 6+ years. Also when we have kids I'd expect to not be working for a short period of time... could also get messy I guess.

What do YOU and your SO do??


(was going to add a poll but guess I can't after already posting the thread )

 

[grinningghost]

Combined totally. Works very well for us.

 

[horseshowmom]

one account for both of them (or a few accounts, but all money is accessible by both).

This is what we do.

 

[Nagle]

Both

We each cover various household bills. We each take care of our own credit cards, but we do have a joint account for property taxes and the like. Works well for us.

 

[doxdogy]

We have a combined account for all the bills. We each have a separate accounts for our "mad money".

 

[kerrynic78]

My DH and I (also in our 20's) each have our own accounts and no combined account. Honestly we just haven't gotten around to a combined account but what we have now works just fine.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Karen we have both separate and joint accounts. We both have separate checking accounts and joint savings account. We also have separate brockerage accounts and some joint mutual funds. For us this has worked for 20 years. I have never had to "ask" for spending money which is very important to me. Plus I can honestly say that we have never had a fight over money and believe me that is rare. Good luck and happy finances no matter what you choose.

 

[CheshireVal]

DH and I pretty much keep separate accounts. It's just much easier that way.

 

[bicker]

My wife and I (we're 43 and 52) married and immediately combined our finances. It's worked great for almost 13 years, so far.

 

[Papa Deuce]

We have both.

 

[robinb]

When I was working we did like your parents do. We had a joint checking account where I would put in a certain amount every paycheck and my DH would put in a certain amount. The amount was calculated from our expenses. We did not split things 50/50 because my DH made more than I did at the time, so he put in more money. We then kept our own seperate accounts for savings, fun stuff, extras, etc. When did the same thing when we were living togther before we were married. It made paying for the rent/utilities/phone/etc much easier.

I have been a SAHM for the last 7 years, so now all the bills are paid from the "joint" account that only my husband contributes to. I still have my own accounts. Those accounts hold money from my Amazon.com sales and eBay sales which in turn pay for Disney and my sports tickets (Cubs & Badger Football).

 

[icebrat001]

My partner and I have combined accounts to pay household bills, going out that type of thing, and we also have our own accounts with our own money. She makes more than me but we contribute the same to the household stuff but we use more of her money for play stuff. Works well, we've been together 4 years this August and have had our money together for 2.

 

[Pugdog007]

Separate. Joint bills are split down the middle. He pays me and I pay the bills from my account.

Would not even consider combining.

 

[helenabear]

When we both worked, we split the bills 50/50... as in I would pay the mortgage and he'd pay everything else. Then we would have whatever money left over to spend on whatever we wanted. We both had access to all money, and if we wanted a major purchase, we'd figure out where it would all come from. We slowly got to the point, though that our finances were mostly combined, just the pain of switching direct deposits kept us from doing it totally. Now we are totally combined, and I doubt we'd do it any other way It just took us about 5 years to get there.

 

[clh2]

Definitely joint accounts. Been that since we were married about 16 years ago. The only thing we have that is "separate" are our retirement accounts, since those are separate, due to them generally being funded through payroll deductions.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Both...we have so many accounts. It is best to set it up so it works for you two.

 

[gradtchr]

Combined for the most part. I do have a couple of accounts that DH is not on yet but that's because one needs to be closed and I haven't been able to get there when they are open and the other is because I haven't finished the paperwork required.

 

[jimmiej]

We're almost even on % contributed. Mine is 56%, DW 44%. That said, we combine everything & I do the finances. DW was a little too "free-spending."

 

[Amapola]

Combined all the way. All our income goes to one checking/savings account and all bills are paid from that. We don't really have consumer debt except for a car loan and DH's student (PhD) loan, and we pay our CC in full each month. That was the way both sets of our parents did it, and it just seemed natural for us to do it that way. But I admit we're just about the only people we know who do it this way.

Bottom line, I don't think there's one right or wrong way to do it. Go with whatever makes you feel more comfortable and is easier to manage.

 

[salmoneous]

Completely separate accounts. We are 12 years married, never had a single fight about anything money related. DW and I sometimes have different ideas on money and how to spend it; I can guarantee you things would not be so peaceful with combinded accounts.