Yankees Win Divisional Series For $175 Million

fklhou

<font color=red>Liberal and proud of it<br><font c
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YANKEES WIN DIVISIONAL SERIES FOR $175 MILLION

Largest Price Ever Paid For Postseason Win

The New York Yankees won their American League Divisional Series last night for a total purchase price of $175 million, according to sources close to transaction.

The purchase price, which includes stock, cash, and deferred payments, is believed to be the highest sum ever paid for a postseason win.

It topped the $120 million offered for the divisional series win by the Yankees' opponents, the Anaheim Angels, but Angels manager Mike Scoscia was philosophical about being outbid by the mighty Yankees.

"Our team paid well, but the Yankees paid better," Scoscia said. "At the end of the day, it's about who puts the most numbers on the check."

Fans at Yankee Stadium were witness to what some in the baseball world were calling the most exciting financial transaction in the history of the game.

In the bottom of the sixth, Yankee slugger Jason Giambi delivered the winning bid in the form of a certified cashier's check to Angel first baseman Scott Spiezio, clinching the series purchase for the Yanks.

Some smaller-market teams, such as the Kansas City Royals, cried foul over the Yankees' history-making series acquisition.

"There's something wrong with the game when our attempt to buy the series for $65 million didn't even come close to getting it done," said a Royals insider.

But some fans of the game said that the Yankees' historic purchase of the divisional series provided a sense of renewal that only baseball's "boys of summer" can deliver.

"With the stock market crash, corporate scandals and 401(k) disasters, it's a vicarious thrill to see millionaires take the field and use their wealth to buy stuff," one fan said.

*****Borowitz Reports****
 
Hey, I represented the Astros back when the hated John McMullen was the owner. I swear that the owners of the Astros lost the bid to build a dog track was the fact that he let Nolan Ryan leave Houston.
 














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