xmas problem what would you do....

[tiggger1]

We always have had 2 xmas's at my grandmother's house because my aunt and uncle live in New Hampshire and wanted there daughter to have christmas morning at home... Up until a few years ago it wasnt a big deal because the one with my unclue would be a few days before xmas and both my dd and my sister's dd were babies and didnt know the difference...and the other was xmas morning...we also have a bday party for my cousin because because her bday is Dec 23..So the sat would be the bday party and the sun morning would be xmas...Like I said it wasnt abig deal because both of our kids were babies and didnt notice my cousin opening all her xmas presents.....( my grandmother would give them 1 or 2 to open)

Now my aunt and uncle are divorced and our kids are older (2 and 3).. today is the bday party and tommorrow is xmas with my uncle and cousin ( she is 8)

Here is the problem.. my grandmother is upset because I dont want to go there at 8 am tommorrow to make my 3 year old watch her cousin open her stocking and ALL of her presents ( my grandmother spent the same on all kids, so they each have around 10 gifts to open) and and my cousin not letting the little ones play with any of them... I would rather come around 11 am when she is done opening and have them open each others gift and then have lunch...

my grandmother thinks the other 2 will be ok she gives them a gift to open...( the rest they open on xmas) LAst year was torture because my dd would have rather played with my cousin dolls, then the toy my grandmother gave her.. This year my cousin is getting toys that my dd wants so itll be torture for her because my cousin refuses to share at all....

My mother has harder problem because my neice is staying with them because my sister is in labor.....so she either needs to sleep at my sisters house tonight or make my 2 year niece watch....


Am I wrong for not wanting to torture my child ( and myself) like that?

 

[mtemm]

is there a reason grandma can't give all the grandkids their gifts that morning? is there a reason your kids need them on christmas, instead of a bit earlier? I think I'm reading this right, anyway. I would LOVE to have the gifts spread out. my kids are 4, 2, 2, and are completely overwhelmed on christmas day because the grandparents come and they get stuff on top of what santa left. If some of the grandkids were doing it on another day, trust me, I would be all over asking the same for my kids.

is the cousin also getting gifts from santa early? (I think I am really confused as to how this works)

 

[EthansMom]

I agree with mtemm. Is there any reason that all of the kids can't open their gifts tomorrow.... one Christmas celebration instead of two?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Am I wrong for not wanting to torture my child ( and myself) like that?

Your kids are 2 & 3 and grandma wants to force them to watch another kid open gifts!
That is bananas.

Grandma needs to be politely told how Christmas will operate and not the other way around. The people with young children decide, not Grandma.

 

[mtemm]

Grandma needs to be politely told how Christmas will operate and not the other way around. The people with young children decide, not Grandma.

I agree. I have a friend on another board who is upset because her dh's mother insists that everyone (kids included, and yes, this means 2 and 3 year olds) open their gifts after midnight mass. First, I can't even imagine my kids making it thru midnight mass, second, I certainly can't imagine them staying awake thru a long drawn out present opening in the middle of the night. And can you imagine what joys they will be on christmas day?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thought about your situation in the shower and I am going to give you the Dr. Laura answer or Disney Doll might agree, she is good with boundary setting as well.

This will help you with your Grandma forever....and will improve things all around.

#1) You politely "inform" Grandma that we are _______. Be sincere, polite, and informing.

#2) Grandma gets upset....(this is how she gets her way, right?)

#3) You apologize. Use all or mix and match these phrases to match her "tantrums"....

"I am sorry this disappoints you"
"Sorry"
"I am sorry."
"Sorry you are hurt with our decision."

Keep apologizing and NEVER offer anything else once the "tantrum", "whining", "complaining", "demands"...start.

You see if you keep apologizing she cannot esculate the situation and YOU remain in control. NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS!!!! Even if it is I don't want you here...your answer is "I am sorry you feel that way."

Good Luck, this works for anyone who is difficult.

 

[tiggger1]

she already called this morning and said she would let them open most of them tommorrow but I know she will complain on xmas morning that they already opened all her stuff....( I really wouldnt mind her opening all of the them tommorrow but we are in the process of a remodel and have to have all of the contents of our house into 1 room by midweek...so they can take the roof off.... )