Xanga and being a parent to a teen

[Mom-to-3]

Hey parents: Are your teens into the xanga website where kids basically post their daily journals and other kids respond? All of the posts and comments have clickable links to their sites. Plus there are blogrings that list the kids that have joined with clickable links back also.

My daughter (age 15) claims that there is an unwritten rule that you only read those xanga sites that you "subscribe" to. My stance is that ANYONE can read these sites and you should be careful. Some of these kids have their full names, their school, and lots of cute pictures.

It's sort of "reality TV" done with online diaries. My questions are:

*Is it wrong for adults to read these sites?

*If a kid posts about something on their site, is it supposed to be public knowledge? Should we be able to mention it when we talk to them?

*What are supposed to do with the information we read (if it involves something dangerous or illegal)? Especially if we know that child's parent isn't very internet savvy?

Thanks. My head is swirling with all this.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>Interesting you should bring this up, and I'm curious as to the others' responses.

Anyone can read the Xanga journals, but you need to be subscribed to look anyone up.

As long as you know the URL address, you can read a Xanga, and even bookmark it without subscribing to it.

As a parent, I believe parents shouldn't feel guilty for reading these journals, especially those of their children because they're on the Internet where ANYONE can read them. ie - I would read Xanga, but I would not read a personal diary or journal without my kids' permission (which means that I wouldn't read them because I'm pretty sure that the kids would never give me permission to read their personal diary/journal).

And no, I don't mention it to them what I read, and I don't gossip about it, but I do use the information I read to try & steer them in the right direction. I've been surprised and even shocked at some of the stuff these kids write - and it's on the Internet!

I liken it to someone here who writes something personal about themselves or family members on the CB, and then one of those people coming upon the site and reading about themselves, or other personal stuff that people would never share in real life. People feel comfortable here, and tend to share more intimate details than they would to their friends face to face, but there is nothing that says that any of their family or friends can't also come here, and stumble on their posts and read all about it. In a way, Xanga is very similar.

Teens post their thoughts, and they email their Xanga name to their friends so they can also read their journals - kind of crazy, if you ask me, and definitely TMI in some cases.

 

[Evil Princess]

I have a Live Journal, which is similar to a Xanga. Mine is on the option that allows only those on my friends list to view my entries, so it's not exactly public.

A person should be aware that whatever they write on the Internet can be found just like a letter left in a bedroom, only the audience is much larger.

Personally I'd be furious with my parents if they read my Live Journal, it's a regular diary. In some cases it's much more truthful because typing for me is much easier on my hands than writing, so my entries are longer and express everything that I feel. I'm also on the "you shouldn't check your teen's instant message conversations/e-mail or search through their room unless you have suspicion about something serious" camp, so my opinion on the Xanga follows those same rules.

However, it's the teen's responsibility to realize that the internet is public domain and anything can be found (unless they have a friends only option like I do). Luckilly my parents are technologically impared and aren't on my Live Journal friends list, so I'm not too worried, lol.

 

[frustrated]

EP, just wondering what is the difference between a parent reading one of these and anyone else on the whole internet? I honestly don't know where I stand with this, but would be curious to see your point.

 

[Mom-to-3]

OP here.

I'm sure that Xanga is not closed except for those you email. Our school and the youth group both have (unofficial) sites and you can get to anyone site who has joined those rings.

Xanga requires you to register with a valid email, that's all it takes.

Do kids realize or care that their teachers, employers, etc may be reading these sites?

When you post, "Band camp sucks. Band sucks. I hate the evil band director" should you be surprised when you don't get chosen to lead your band section?

 

[Evil Princess]

Originally posted by frustrated
EP, just wondering what is the difference between a parent reading one of these and anyone else on the whole internet? I honestly don't know where I stand with this, but would be curious to see your point.

Personally? I don't really care if strangers read what I do. I care about my parents reading about what I do.

I have never been one to tell my parents about my love life or every little detail of my friday nights. I feel funny telling my mother who I like, there's no reason for me to feel that way I just do. People who have kids know that even if two children are raised the same exact way they have different personalities. I don't tell my mother everything about my social life, but my sister tells her EVERYTHING. We're just different like that.

Though I'll admit, if my parents stumbled onto my public Xanga (if I had one) and read what I wrote, it would partially be my fault for posting it for the world to see. I also believe that it would partially be their fault for "stumbling" onto a website all with diaries and finding mine, then reading it. I feel like it's an invasion of privacy, even though it is the internet.

Perhaps this doesn't make sense to anyone, but I feel that people don't just stumble on to their children's Xanga/Live Journal/whatever. It requires a bit of hunting and I don't believe that those things should be read unless you suspect that your child is in danger/doing something that could put them in danger.

 

[Mom-to-3]

A friend told me that if it's on Xanga, it's a private as the bulletin board at the grocery store. DD told me that there is a fake xanga site about a teacher at school that no one likes.

 

[emmagata]

Originally posted by Mom-to-3
My questions are:

*Is it wrong for adults to read these sites?

No

*If a kid posts about something on their site, is it supposed to be public knowledge? Should we be able to mention it when we talk to them?

Yes and yes.

*What are supposed to do with the information we read (if it involves something dangerous or illegal)? Especially if we know that child's parent isn't very internet savvy?

If it's life threatening or illegal, take action on it. Sort out the ruffled feathers later.

If it's not life threatening or legal and it's not about your kid, my thoughts are stay out of it.

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