WWYD?

[anniemae]

does the boy have any sort of developmental delay?

 

[cabanafrau]

This family has been reported time after time NOTHING has ever been done. WAiT the parents was made to go to parenting classes they did attend they just did not learn anything or carry thru with what they learned at home. They have went to the classes 4 or 5 times.

If the parents have been ordered into parenting classes multiple times this family is on children's services' radar and you may be unaware of all of what is taking place. If you are aware of ongoing, systemic neglect, continue to report. It may be that another report trips the threshold that may result in the children finally receiving the help needed. If this boy is already 12 and is displaying the behavior described without a medical reason or developmental delay, there isn't much time left for him to receive help before becoming an adult, an adult completely unable to make his way in the world. That would be tragic.

 

[OneOftheB's]

Is the child on or has he been on Singulair? I ask because one of the the kids in my son's school has had multiple issues due to taking this medication to control allergies/asthma as a 1st or 2nd grader. One of the child's issues was that she was soiling herself almost daily at school, even a year or more after discontinuing the medication. Apparently, the medication can be stored in fat cells and will randomly release into the body for years after stopping. There are numerous other issues that some kids have after taking Singulair.

 

[Calee]

If this child is neurotypical I would be very concerned that some sort of abuse has occurred recently.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would not assume that there is no medical issue that would cause this.
Very clearly, there is a physical (encopresis) and/or neurological issue.
And, these two can be related.
Issues and refusal of basic hygiene are common with some neurological/developmental diagnoses.
It doesn't have to be like severe cognitive delay or deficits. These two are very different things.
This is actually what I would be assuming, based on the comments given.

Unfortunately, if the school, and then the authorities, have been involved. And counseling and Parenting Classes have been required, but then nothing further has happened, it appears that the system is not going to proceed or take any action. In this case, I can not think of anything that anyone else can do.

Perhaps if somebody could continue to update the Child and Family Services, and keep this on their radar, it might help to make them consider taking further action.

 

[Wishing on a star]

That is interesting about the Singulair. I have never heard of that.

 

[dyna]

NO Singulair. He is some what delayed an yes in the spectrum.

Has just a touch of CP an PVL his teachers an coaches are usually surprised to hear this.

Should get his black belt in Tae QUon Do in the next few months.

In many ways he's an amazing kid.

 

[2China2009]

I would say this is some lazy parenting and lack of big time general knowledge about lack of hygiene. Of course the poor kid has issues especially if CPS is involved. The kid needs a tolieting schedule and a new MD to address this problem. If he is constipated that is an issue. If he is sressed that adds to issues. Or if he is just lazy that is an issue. 1 dose of Miralax daily would be the first thing to do. Tolieting every 2 hrs except when sleeping needs to happen ASAP. He also needs to know that if he soils himself he will need to showernevery time, wash his clothes every time, sheets and all. This is not ok to let him off the hook and parents need to be constantly doing the routine 24/7. The kids needs positive affirmation for the positive things that he is doing or the small successes related to this. If he needs a parka at school to continue to implement that it needs to be done.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Possibly on the spectrum and possibly some CP, etc...
I am seeing a lot of medical issues that could be at play here.
I am not thinking this is simply a personal psychological choice, or related to actual abuse. (though, of course, can't rule anything out wtihout knowing more.)

I am thinking that this should be, and have been, addressed by professionals (child developmental neurologist) and physicians.

 

[mousefan73]

Almost 12 yr old boy soiling himself. No he has no known medical issue that would cause this. He does not care that he stinks at home or at school an YES he does soil himself at school.

Sounds like a ?!?!? Situation that only the state and professionals can help with. Poor kid.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

NO Singulair. He is some what delayed an yes in the spectrum.

Has just a touch of CP an PVL his teachers an coaches are usually surprised to hear this.

Should get his black belt in Tae QUon Do in the next few months.

In many ways he's an amazing kid.

If he's on the spectrum this really isn't uncommon. As others have said, encopresis is common among kids on the spectrum, usually a result of witholding bowel movements because of an anxiety issue or as a sensory issue. There are medical treatments for it (usually laxatives and fiber) so he should see his PCP but it's also important for him to speak with a counselor. My son is on the spectrum and we struggled with this for years, it definitely wasn't a quick fix and it took a team approach to resolve the issue.

 

[lanejudy]

No he has no known medical issue that would cause this.

He is some what delayed an yes in the spectrum.

Has just a touch of CP an PVL

So which of your posts is correct? The boy has no known medical issues? Or he is on the spectrum with "a touch" of CP and PVL? (I'm not sure what "a touch" means -- either he has that dx or not, if you don't believe it's accurate, get a medical degree)

Your first post seems rather annoyed that a "typical" 12 yr old boy has these issues. But later posts indicate that he clearly does have medically diagnosed needs as well as a not-so-perfect home life, which most likely are being addressed, just not to your liking. If you don't interact directly with the child, MYOB. If you work with this child daily/regularly, have some compassion for him. Talk with him and help him learn what is socially appropriate, help him create a schedule to alleviate these concerns, support his efforts rather than chastising his failures. These things take time and won't be overcome without a lot of positive reinforcement. If you can't have the compassion to help this young person, maybe you need to request a different assignment or consider a different line of work.

 

[Nancyg56]

So which of your posts is correct? The boy has no known medical issues? Or he is on the spectrum with "a touch" of CP and PVL? (I'm not sure what "a touch" means -- either he has that dx or not, if you don't believe it's accurate, get a medical degree)

Your first post seems rather annoyed that a "typical" 12 yr old boy has these issues. But later posts indicate that he clearly does have medically diagnosed needs as well as a not-so-perfect home life, which most likely are being addressed, just not to your liking. If you don't interact directly with the child, MYOB. If you work with this child daily/regularly, have some compassion for him. Talk with him and help him learn what is socially appropriate, help him create a schedule to alleviate these concerns, support his efforts rather than chastising his failures. These things take time and won't be overcome without a lot of positive reinforcement. If you can't have the compassion to help this young person, maybe you need to request a different assignment or consider a different line of work.

You found a nice way to say what I was thinking. There is always more to a story that can be seen from the outside looking in, and unless you are parked inside with the rest of the crew, you only have a rather on dimensional snapshot of the family situation. I feel strongly that sometimes "help" from people is more of a judgement on those folks living the situation.

 

[ronandannette]

You found a nice way to say what I was thinking. There is always more to a story that can be seen from the outside looking in, and unless you are parked inside with the rest of the crew, you only have a rather on dimensional snapshot of the family situation. I feel strongly that sometimes "help" from people is more of a judgement on those folks living the situation.

It is clearly an entirely different situation that the OP made it appear, and I wonder why on earth it wasn't presented more accurately in the first place.

 

[Squirlz]

It is clearly an entirely different situation that the OP made it appear, and I wonder why on earth it wasn't presented more accurately in the first place.

From previous posts this definitely sounds like one of those "regional" things.

 

[scrhsa]

I had a kid at one of my daycares back in the 80's that would soil himself regularly. He was about 10/11. The parents were ok with it because his grades went up when he wasn't concentrating on not soiling himself. Looking back, he was most probably on the spectrum. Probably all 4 kids. Looking back, I see all kinds of red flags regarding this family. They probably needed a lot of help that they weren't getting back then or not available. Not sure if the parents even wanted help.