Wwyd

[DisneyLvr55]

I think e-mail is a perfectly fine medium to make first contact for all the reasons listed prior to this.

Now, take you own advice and pick up the phone and call the mom to find out more details.

Its fine to have your opinion, and I thank you for it, but theres no need to be so harsh/rude with it.
You can get your point across by wording it less abrasively.

 

[krcit]

Maybe because my kids are a bit older but I think it's a bit strange. Not the emailing itself but how generic the wording is. If I were to send an email requesting a playdate I would probably word it more like this " Hi. I'm Mary, Kelly's mom. Kelly has been asking if Sara could come over for a play date. If SSara would like that please call me at ###-#### so we can set something up. Hope you are having a great summer!! Thanks, Mary

 

[tvguy]

I've always worked funny hours, such that I have always been asleep at non-traditional times. My kids friends and their parents have always gone out of their way to find ways not to call and wake me up. So I would be more likely to be irritated by a phone call. I would wonder how someone you didn't have contact with had your email address though. That's harder to find than a phone number.

 

[WDSearcher]

Its not the question itself thats throwing me, I can answer the question. Its the form that it was sent in.

Like I said, if this were someone I knew, and they sent a text or email, then I wouldn't be questioning it at all. But just seeing that I don't know this woman, and she doesn't know me - Thats whats confusing to me. I would think that on her part, she would also just want to hear my voice, to get a feeling for who I am as well.

You said that it's odd that she didn't call and that the form of the e-mail was so confusing.

First off, I don't think e-mailing as "first contact" is all that strange. I think it IS the new norm. Secondly ... if I'd gotten that e-mail, I'd have read it as, "My daughter would like your daughter to come over for a play date. Here's my number. Call me so we can talk about it." She DOES want to hear your voice and get a feeling for who you are. That's why she gave you her phone number. So that you could think about it, and then call her so that the two of you could talk about it and see what works from a day / time / place standpoint. I agree that she could have worded it less awkwardly, but not everyone communicates well.

It doesn't sound like she was saying, "My daughter wants your daughter to come over right now so call me immediately and you don't have any say in the matter and I don't care to meet you first." She was basically giving you a chance to think about it before you called, that's all.

If you don't like her style of communicating and decide that you'd rather not meet, then either call or e-mail her back and say that you're sorry, you don't have any free time over the next couple of weeks or whatever.

But you really have nothing to lose by calling the other mom, and you may discover another friend for both yourself and your daughter. It'd be a shame to let someone's awkward writing style be the only thing that forms your decision.

 

[mom2rtk]

It wouldn't matter to me that it came by email. But before sending my child to someone else's house for a playdate (without me staying) I would want to know the parents better. I would suggest meeting at a park or the mall and have both of you stay. I guess we were just lucky to be at a very small elementary school with only 2 classes of kids in each grade so we pretty much knew all the parents after a short time.

 

[ShelsGoingToDisney]

Based on the wording in her email I don't think our situations are the same but to put a different perspective on it I would have used email as the first form of communication as well. I am hearing impaired and talking on the phone is near impossible for me. I rely on lip reading and body language when talking to people. Email is an easy form of communication that I can use to to talk to other parents and set up play dates, RSVP to birthday parties, etc. for my kids.

I totally would have worded my first email to a new play date partner differently than this mom did, but it makes me sad that the reaction my email might get from another mother might be like yours and would possibly prevent future friendships for my kids just because I didn't pick up a phone.

 

[portia9]

I wouldn't find that odd at all.

 

[PizzieDuster]

To me, emailing makes total sense and is less obtrusive than calling. You can choose whether to respond or not. That's probably exactly why she emailed rather than called - so she wouldn't be putting you on the spot or interrupting you.

I prefer emails. If I don't recognize the caller ID number, I won't pick up. Some people don't even have land phones anymore. If I saw the number on my cell phone, I wouldn't answer it. I have about 23 phone messages that I need to go through. I'm here on my computer now, checking my emails, DISing, etc.

I think people would appreciate just that one line email instead of my babbling. I could go on and on and on in an email. "And then, we went to the beach....." I bet not one of my posts here on the DIS is shorter than 2 paragraphs. Portia9 answered in 7 words. If only I could.....

 

[TinkerBelled]

I agree that email is a perfectly reasonable way to get in touch with someone. I would think that her listing of her number means that she does want to talk with you about it, but shot you an email first.

There's nothing strange at all about that to me. Perhaps she was in a place (like work, for example) where she had easy access to email but couldn't make a personal call, and she wanted to be sure to be in touch.

 

[bellarella]

Good grief, people just can't win, can they.

Many people consider phone calls personal space. Also, phone numbers can be cell phones/forwarded to cell phones and thus end up disturbing someone at work.

She sent you an email basically asking for you to call her at a time that was convenient for you rather than just springing the request on you. There is nothing rude about that.

If you are so anti-email as a communication method, why not keep yours out of the directory and only hand it out to people who you actually get to know?

 

[Lynne M]

I think she was doing you a courtesy by allowing you to choose a time to talk that was convenient for you, rather than interrupting you with a call.

 

[SarahWeasley]

I think it's easier for me to imagine someone being bothered by a call when they would have preferred an E-mail, than being bothered by an E-mail vs. a call.

 

[msjprincess]

I just got an email from a mom that my DD went to school with her daughter. I (vaguly) remember the kids name, but I can't even remember what the kid looks like, or anything about her. I have no idea about the family - Don't know the mom, and don't know where they live (Its not a private school, but kids came from all over to go to it - 18 districts in total came to this school). The email was asking for my DD to come over for a play date, and she left her phone number.

Anyone else find it strange that she didn't just call, or is that just the new "norm"?? If she has my email, that means that she has the school phone book, and if she has the phone book, she has both my home and cell numbers. Maybe I'm just old, but whatever happened to picking up a phone and speaking to someone?!? Especially if you don't even know the person - Theres no way I'd send my kid over to someones house without even speaking to them and hearing their voice. I'm considering just ignoring the email, and if she does call, just apologize, and say that it must have gone into my junk or something.

But she didn't ask you to send your daughter over without speaking to her. She left her number. I will often email or text someone and ask them to call me when it's convenient for them. She probably thought it was less intrusive then calling you and putting you on the spot.