Wwyd

[DisneyLvr55]

I just got an email from a mom that my DD went to school with her daughter. I (vaguly) remember the kids name, but I can't even remember what the kid looks like, or anything about her. I have no idea about the family - Don't know the mom, and don't know where they live (Its not a private school, but kids came from all over to go to it - 18 districts in total came to this school). The email was asking for my DD to come over for a play date, and she left her phone number.

Anyone else find it strange that she didn't just call, or is that just the new "norm"?? If she has my email, that means that she has the school phone book, and if she has the phone book, she has both my home and cell numbers. Maybe I'm just old, but whatever happened to picking up a phone and speaking to someone?!? Especially if you don't even know the person - Theres no way I'd send my kid over to someones house without even speaking to them and hearing their voice. I'm considering just ignoring the email, and if she does call, just apologize, and say that it must have gone into my junk or something.

 

[MainStreetMomma]

I don't think it's strange that she emailed you. It is a sure way to reach someone when it is convenient for them. It also relieves the pressure of putting the other party on the spot to say yes to a play date.

Was she suggesting you and your daughter come over together or that you just send your daughter? If she wants you both to come to get to know one another better, I don't find that odd. If she wants you to just send your child, I wouldn't be comfortable with that either and I'd respond by making a suggestion to meet with the adults as well at a public place like a play area of a mall or something age appropriate for your children. It creates an opportunity to foster a relationship with the mom and daughter but fixes the issue of your DD being alone at their home without you really knowing them.

 

[stsomewhere]

I agree that email is a great way to ask without putting someone on the spot. It also keeps little ones from over hearing conversation and being disappointed.

Does your daughter know who the girl is? How old is she?

I would arrange to meet in at a park or another public place.

 

[DisneyLvr55]

I would like to make a "new friend" myself, and have no problem staying for a play date. But the email didn't read like that at all - I guess thats why I found it strange. It was simply -

My daughter XXXXX would like your daughter XXXXXX to come over for a play date. My phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Hope your having a nice summer.


And that was it. I just know that when I want to make a play date for my DD, I pick up a phone and call someone. Emailing is not a fool-proof way of getting a message to someone, because like I said, it could just go into junk mail, or the person could just miss it. And I get the point of not wanting to put someone "on the spot" but come on - We are all adults, and have to be able to handle a simple question like a play date request. There have been play dates before the dawn of the email!!!! LOL


ETA - The kids are young - only 6.
ETA again..... I don't know about this little girl, but my DD will not be in this school next year. She was there because it was the only full-time K in the area. Next year, she will be in our districts school. About 75% of the kids in the K program at this school will be leaving by next year.

 

[crashbb]

We are all adults, and have to be able to handle a simple question like a play date request. There have been play dates before the dawn of the email!!!! LOL

Yet you seem to be having enough of a problem with it that you posed a question here and plan to pretend you didn't get the play date request.

As you say, we are adults and have to be able to handle a simple question. If you want to do the play date, respond and let her know (with a suggestion of staying for it, if you'd prefer). If you don't want to do the play date, respond and let her know that.

 

[Sandy1892]

OK I am old fashioned but I would not allow my daughter to go on a play day, unless I had met the parents and visited the house. When my DD was invited on a play day I would ask if the child could have a play day at my home first, then I could met the child parent and check out the house when I dropped the child off. OK I am old fashioned and neurotic can't help it.

 

[ali in wonderland]

I have a 6 year old girl, and I send email request for play dates like that all the time. I find it easy to get in touch with the parent, and gives them a chance to respond without being put on the spot. I'm busy mom of four kids from 14 -4. It is much easier for me to send a quick email from my phone than to try and have a conversation with someone. Please do not just ignore the email, that would be plain rude. if you are uncomfortable, then just explain that you would like to have the child at your house. that would give you a chance to control the situation. The invitation was only for your daughter to come play. Clearly not for you and her. When I invite a child for a play date, I don't mind if the other mom stays and chats for a bit, but I generally don't want her to stay. I'm inviting the other child over so that my child has someone to play with while I do laundry, cook dinner, get stuff done around the house. If the mom wants to stay, then I need to entertain her, and have now lost my chance to get any thing done. I also want the other mom to enjoy the time that I am caring for her child be doing what ever she wants kid free or one less child anyway. Of course for my 4 yr old play dates I have the parents stay until I know the child better, but for school aged kids it's just not necessary. I know most of the parents from events at the school.

 

[DisneyLvr55]

Yet you seem to be having enough of a problem with it that you posed a question here and plan to pretend you didn't get the play date request.

As you say, we are adults and have to be able to handle a simple question. If you want to do the play date, respond and let her know (with a suggestion of staying for it, if you'd prefer). If you don't want to do the play date, respond and let her know that.

I said I concidered egnoring the email, but haven't decided to do that yet. Please don't put words into my mouth.

And I was asking if this is the new "norm" because to me, its really is just strange. If I knew the woman well, and she sent me a text or email, then that wouldn't be strange to me - I text play date requests with moms that I know all the time. But I don't even know this woman.

 

[DisneyLvr55]

I do agree that its wrong to just ignore the email, and especially seeing that I already told my DD about it, that won't be an option anyway. It was just so.... generically worded, that it reminded me of the email that I got from another Mom whos acct was hacked, and I got the "I need help. I'm overseas - Please send money" email. It just seemed "off" somehow.

 

[crashbb]

I said I concidered egnoring the email, but haven't decided to do that yet. Please don't put words into my mouth.

You're right - I apologise. However, if it is so easy to deal with the question, it seems odd that you'd even consider it.

What would you have said if she called you? Just say the same thing in an email.

And, no, to me (and many others in the thread), the sending of an email is not weird.

 

[RitaE]

Yes, email is a pretty normal method of communication now.

Many parents prefer to be able to answer on their own schedules rather than being tied to a phone.

 

[DisneyLvr55]

You're right - I apologise. However, if it is so easy to deal with the question, it seems odd that you'd even consider it.

What would you have said if she called you? Just say the same thing in an email.

And, no, to me (and many others in the thread), the sending of an email is not weird.

Its not the question itself thats throwing me, I can answer the question. Its the form that it was sent in.

Like I said, if this were someone I knew, and they sent a text or email, then I wouldn't be questioning it at all. But just seeing that I don't know this woman, and she doesn't know me - Thats whats confusing to me. I would think that on her part, she would also just want to hear my voice, to get a feeling for who I am as well.

 

[POPCITY]

I don't find it strange at all. I detest talking to people I don't know out of the blue. Email gives you the chance to think about it, at your convenience. Added bonus is that I don't have to find a pen, which in my house is a challenge, to write down the address.

 

[RitaE]

Honestly you seem to be putting a whole lot of thought and conditions onto a 6 year old playdate request. It's just a playdate and I think that for many Moms there just isn't a rulebook of what is and isn't proper in sending a request. I really wouldn't do a whole bunch of thinking on how you believe she should or shouldn't operate. Everybody has their own parenting styles.

If it bothers you that much then just send a polite "We're booked through the end of summer but thank you for asking."

 

[dyna]

I might suggest we meet at the park for the play date. The girls can play an you get to meet the new mom an get to know her this could be a win win for everyone.

 

[Hrhpd]

I just got an email from a mom that my DD went to school with her daughter. I (vaguly) remember the kids name, but I can't even remember what the kid looks like, or anything about her. I have no idea about the family - Don't know the mom, and don't know where they live (Its not a private school, but kids came from all over to go to it - 18 districts in total came to this school). The email was asking for my DD to come over for a play date, and she left her phone number.

Anyone else find it strange that she didn't just call, or is that just the new "norm"?? If she has my email, that means that she has the school phone book, and if she has the phone book, she has both my home and cell numbers. Maybe I'm just old, but whatever happened to picking up a phone and speaking to someone?!? Especially if you don't even know the person - Theres no way I'd send my kid over to someones house without even speaking to them and hearing their voice. I'm considering just ignoring the email, and if she does call, just apologize, and say that it must have gone into my junk or something.

I would like to make a "new friend" myself, and have no problem staying for a play date. But the email didn't read like that at all - I guess thats why I found it strange. It was simply -

My daughter XXXXX would like your daughter XXXXXX to come over for a play date. My phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Hope your having a nice summer.


And that was it. I just know that when I want to make a play date for my DD, I pick up a phone and call someone. Emailing is not a fool-proof way of getting a message to someone, because like I said, it could just go into junk mail, or the person could just miss it. And I get the point of not wanting to put someone "on the spot" but come on - We are all adults, and have to be able to handle a simple question like a play date request. There have been play dates before the dawn of the email!!!! LOL


ETA - The kids are young - only 6.
ETA again..... I don't know about this little girl, but my DD will not be in this school next year. She was there because it was the only full-time K in the area. Next year, she will be in our districts school. About 75% of the kids in the K program at this school will be leaving by next year.

I think e-mail is a perfectly fine medium to make first contact for all the reasons listed prior to this.

Now, take you own advice and pick up the phone and call the mom to find out more details.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'd have no problem with it. At that age, they usually haven't settled into a core group of friends, and kids like to invite other kids over, and get to know them. Honestly, by the time my twins got to kindergarten, I had made enough friends. If my child wanted to invite a child over whose parents I didn't know, I'd love the option of email (and TBH would probably suggest a child I already knew instead...).

For those of you who would ask to have the child over to your house instead, that's a bit awkward - the other parents don't know you either. I've let my kids go over to friends' homes where I don't know the parents, but in this town, it's easy to get the down-low on pretty much anyone. I'd check them out first.

 

[powellrj]

Honestly you seem to be putting a whole lot of thought and conditions onto a 6 year old playdate request. It's just a playdate and I think that for many Moms there just isn't a rulebook of what is and isn't proper in sending a request. I really wouldn't do a whole bunch of thinking on how you believe she should or shouldn't operate. Everybody has their own parenting styles.

If it bothers you that much then just send a polite "We're booked through the end of summer but thank you for asking."

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Don't find it strange at all in this day and age, esp. since I have my email on my phone now. Just like texting to me.

That being said, IF my dd knew the kid and wanted to get together I would ring HER up and suggest a public place like the mall, park, etc...

If I did not want my dd to make friends with the kid for whatever reason or was not comfortable with the situation, I would not have told my dd about the email at all.

 

[disykat]

To me, emailing makes total sense and is less obtrusive than calling. You can choose whether to respond or not. That's probably exactly why she emailed rather than called - so she wouldn't be putting you on the spot or interrupting you.