Wwyd?

[Michelle and crew]

so because she can't prove your kid did it, she is out a game? Is she a liar?

 

[pandaroo]

Thanks for replying.

Does it make it a different situation if I mention that we are a family of 5 on one income (I stay home with our 3 kids and go to college part-time) and make nearly 3 times what we make? It's not that we CAN'T replace the game, because I would feel obligated to if I truly knew my son damaged it, but it puts a big dent in our weekly budget to have to buy another game.

Seriously, if I knew that he broke it, I would have replaced it already. But although he has been less-than-responsible lately, he's never broken a game or DVD or CD here at all.

I don't know, maybe I'll just go to Target and buy the game. It probably will sort of end up meaning that my DS does not get the same game for xmas this year (as planned) because I can't really afford to buy two of them.

Your income, SAH status and number of people in your family does not change what is the right thing to do.

Your sister said they did not play for a while. This may have been the first time they turned it on since your son played that game.

You have admitted your son is not good with the games and DVDs and his are scratched. I would replace the game and insist on the adult rule.

Your last paragraph makes no sense. How does the buying them a replacement game mean you can't buy a second one for your son? Are you saying that the only money you have to buy this replacement with is your Christmas money and that you only have enough to buy a single game for your son?

You are trying to justify not doing the right thing.

 

[kirstenb1]

She's all but telling you she expects you to replace it. Like others have suggested, I'd check Gamestop first.

 

[pandaroo]

ETA: I think your sister should be partly if not mostly to blame. She chose to let your son use the games with no supervision. I'd still offer to buy a new one, to keep family peace. If she knows how much you struggle financially, she'll decline, I would hope.

I completely disagree. My nephews, when they were 7 and even younger knew exactly how to properly handle the video system, how to remove the game from the package, insert it and always put them back in when they were done. They play unsupervised my system all the time and never scratched or ruined a game. I know two and three year-old kids who know how to take the game or DVD out and load it properly. I have seen them do it and then turn on the movie.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I completely disagree. My nephews, when they were 7 and even younger knew exactly how to properly handle the video system, how to remove the game from the package, insert it and always put them back in when they were done. They play unsupervised my system all the time and never scratched or ruined a game. I know two and three year-old kids who know how to take the game or DVD out and load it properly. I have seen them do it and then turn on the movie.

Yes, my 7 year old does, too. If I had a child over to my house, though, I'd make sure he knew all the rules and I'd watch him a few times to make sure he did. If the sister did this, and the child still broke it, it's not as much her fault, but still...if she was really worried about it, she should have either stayed there, told him to tell her when it needed to be changed, or not let him play it.

I do disagree that you can be certain a two year old would properly care for a disc every single time, though. Two year olds are unpredictable.

 

[Hannathy]

so because she can't prove your kid did it, she is out a game? Is she a liar?

But she can't prove her kid didn't do it either. No way my kid is getting the blame laid on him when there is as good of a chance that her child did it also.

It should just be chalked up to learning that when you let others use your stuff sometimes things happen and either deal with it or watch your stuff when it is being used more carefully.

Still wouldn't buy a new game. I wouldn't buy a used one either BUT if you feel you have to do something this is what I would do -wait till I found a used one and give her that.

 

[Gigi22]

Totally in agreement with maxiesmom. If I were your DSis, and I even brought the subject up, it would be because I was fairly certain that your child had damaged the toy, and that you would be responsible about it. Failure to do so would just not be an acceptable reaction--more than $40, it could cost you the good opinion of your DSis.

 

[JB2K]

This is somewhat budget related....

It sure is, because replacing those Wii discs is going to come out of someone's budget...

Now, that very same evening that I get this email, my DH and I both have to talk with same DS about being responsible for his Wii games and DVDs/CDs. We were finding them all over our basement - not in cases - and noticed some scratches as well. We told him he needs to always put them back in their cases and handle them gently.

Obviously, your son dropped the ball and didn't handle the discs, properly -- just like CD/DVDs, they can (and will!) get scratches.

After getting the email from my sister, we spoke with him AGAIN, and added that from now on, he really needs to have an adult help him with any DVDs or CDs since he doesn't know how to handle them properly.

I email my sister and tell her we spoke with him and have told him he is not allowed to play anything without an adult, and suggest that she not allow him to play the Wii at her house without supervision too.

Good call, but what about the "damaged goods"?

Twice now she tells me her game is broken, and I think she's hinting that we should replace the game. Thing is, we haven't been to her house for over a month, and I really don't know if my son scratched the game. I am sure he COULD have, but we weren't there long and it was some time ago. She does have a 3-year-old and an infant in her house, so really anything could happen.

Am I obligated to offer to buy a new game for her? Should I be making my DS pay for this?

Yes, and yes (that's the only way today's kids are going to learn the true "value" of something). It sounds tough, but most people I know don't have $39.95 to throw out the window to replace a video game disc.

Start 'em out, early...

If I knew he broke the game on purpose (or even if I knew he did it accidentally) I would think we should replace it. But we don't know what happened to it. I have no idea if they played the game since we were there last, or if they had anyone else who played it, or if their son touches the games.

But...the game disc was mishandled, and since her kids aren't playing with it regularly, it's a safe bet that (based on what you shared with us about your own stuff) that your son messed-up on this one.

 

[pandaroo]

Yes, my 7 year old does, too. If I had a child over to my house, though, I'd make sure he knew all the rules and I'd watch him a few times to make sure he did. If the sister did this, and the child still broke it, it's not as much her fault, but still...if she was really worried about it, she should have either stayed there, told him to tell her when it needed to be changed, or not let him play it.

I do disagree that you can be certain a two year old would properly care for a disc every single time, though. Two year olds are unpredictable.

I can be certain if I stood there while he or she did it. Where did I say he or she was allowed to just do it unsupervised?

 

[LAH LAH]

Are you obligated to pay for it (IMO)? NO.
The child was not supervised and it isn't clear that the 7 year old even damaged the disc.

Would I end up paying for it? Probably.

Mostly because I am a people pleaser and I like to keep the peace.


Having said that, we had a favorite wii game that stopped working. We took it to a local video store and for $2 they resurfaced it and it now works with no issues!

Good luck making your decision!

 

[NVDisMom]

Are you obligated to pay for it (IMO)? NO.
The child was not supervised and it isn't clear that the 7 year old even damaged the disc.

Would I end up paying for it? Probably.

Mostly because I am a people pleaser and I like to keep the peace.


Having said that, we had a favorite wii game that stopped working. We took it to a local video store and for $2 they resurfaced it and it now works with no issues!

Good luck making your decision!

This is exactly how I feel about the situation. Offer to take all of the scratched games in to be resurfaced. Easy peasy and a much cheaper way to keep the peace. If the game is beyond repair then I'd offer to hand her a ten each month until its paid for . Then she can choose whether to replace it or not. Since they aren't playing very often she may choose not to. And your budget won't suffer the immediate consequence of the entire amount. I'd also bring DS in on the entire conversation and let him know the grocery budget will be short some of his favorite snacks for the next few months in order to make up for the repair/replacement costs. Something tangible for him to remember that there are consequences for being careless with others' belongings.

 

[littlezar]

This is exactly how I feel about the situation. Offer to take all of the scratched games in to be resurfaced. Easy peasy and a much cheaper way to keep the peace. If the game is beyond repair then I'd offer to hand her a ten each month until its paid for . Then she can choose whether to replace it or not. Since they aren't playing very often she may choose not to. And your budget won't suffer the immediate consequence of the entire amount. I'd also bring DS in on the entire conversation and let him know the grocery budget will be short some of his favorite snacks for the next few months in order to make up for the repair/replacement costs. Something tangible for him to remember that there are consequences for being careless with others' belongings.

Agree! I think the best solution is to offer to take the scratched games in. If that isn't an option, replace the game and have her give you the one that doesn't work and then have it repaired for your son for Christmas.

 

[aprilfoolwed]

OP here:

I would ask DS what happened, preferably in front of DSis. I think DS would be less likely to lie with DSis present. I also think you may be able to come to a negotation if you all sit down and talk about it. Perhaps DSis will agree to pay half or something.

We did ask DS, and he said he just played the games and put them away when he was done. My sister makes sure the kids all clean up before they leave, so I know that the discs wouldn't have been laying around. They were in their boxes back on the shelf.

Well, since it was your DSis that gave your DS permission, it should be her responsibility. If you told him he could play with it and you knew he did it, then yes, it would be your responsibility.

This is how I initially felt. If DS ruins a game at home, since we let him play with them, he'd be responsible for the game. And, he's been told this much at this point. But I didn't let him play at her her - she did. And left him play unsupervised.

Well, first, she shouldn't have yelled at a 3 year old for this! The 3 year old shouldn't be put in the position to take care of a disc.

This is somewhat an issue in my sister's house. She runs a tight ship and is really, really hard on her son. She;s a teacher and wants discipline in her house. We tend to be a little freer in our house.

It sounds like more than one game was scratched/damaged. I think I would replace one of the games.

Yes, she said "several" games were scratched, but one doesn't work. At first she told me it was Mario Kart, which my DS said he has never played at her house. When I told her this, she said "oh I meant is was Super Mario Bros." So there was some confusion.

so because she can't prove your kid did it, she is out a game? Is she a liar?

Well, she's not a liar, but she's pretty quick to put blame on my kids for many, many things. For example, if her son has a nightmare, she'll call me and tell me to talk to my 4-year-old and ask him not to say scary things to his cousin. And then I'll hear that they watched The Wizard of Oz and her son is scared of the witch. So it wasn't my son's fault.

I don't really think that my nephew would scratch the discs. I am fairly sure he wouldn't even touch them. But I also know that my sister has friends who hang out at her house a lot - and drink a lot - and play games. So it's totally possible that it was my son, but also possible it was someone else too.

Your income, SAH status and number of people in your family does not change what is the right thing to do.


Your last paragraph makes no sense. How does the buying them a replacement game mean you can't buy a second one for your son? Are you saying that the only money you have to buy this replacement with is your Christmas money and that you only have enough to buy a single game for your son?

You are trying to justify not doing the right thing.

You're right in that my status doesn't change anything if we knew my son was at fault. But we don't know that. I would do "the right thing" if I knew my son did something. As far as he is concerned, he was told he could play a game, played it, put it away and now someone says it doesn't work. We aren't sure how long ago, or if someone else played it. It's the uncertainty that made me question if I should be respoinsible for it.

And yes, our budget is a bit tight this year that buying a new game for someone else would mean that I have to cut back somewhere else. We ran into some credit card debt this past year that neither my DH nor I were happy about, and we are determined not to let it happen again. So we are only buying what we can afford to pay for on the spot this year. We were planning on buying DS the Mario Bros game for xmas this year - if I buy a copy now, then indeed I won't be buying one later.

Having said that, we had a favorite wii game that stopped working. We took it to a local video store and for $2 they resurfaced it and it now works with no issues!

Thank you to you and all others who suggested trying to have the scratches removed. I had no idea you could do this, and I will look into it.

Also - thank you to everyone who suggested Game Stop or Blockbuster for a used disc. That may be a solution too.

*IF* I do end up replacing the disc, I am going to make DS pay for half of it. And I will let my sister know that is how it worked out too. I think that may show how serious she is that he did it. I don't think she'd want him to spend HIS money on something if she wasn't sure of it.

Thanks for all the input. I didn't expect quite so many replies.

 

[mjkacmom]

When I give a child permission to play anything of ours, I am holding myself responsible if that child breaks something. If I had a child over my house, even just a friend, and if that child broke a Wii game, I'm not expecting that child to pay for it. That's the risk I take when I give permission. I can't imagine expecting someone to pay for something that they may or may not have broken!

 

[Michelle and crew]

When I give a child permission to play anything of ours, I am holding myself responsible if that child breaks something. If I had a child over my house, even just a friend, and if that child broke a Wii game, I'm not expecting that child to pay for it. That's the risk I take when I give permission. I can't imagine expecting someone to pay for something that they may or may not have broken!

And I can't imagine not paying for something my child ruined.

 

[Virgderon]

This is somewhat budget related....



Now, that very same evening that I get this email, my DH and I both have to talk with same DS about being responsible for his Wii games and DVDs/CDs. We were finding them all over our basement - not in cases - and noticed some scratches as well. We told him he needs to always put them back in their cases and handle them gently.


So, twice now she tells me her game is broken, and I think she's hinting that we should replace the game. Thing is, we haven't been to her house for over a month, and I really don't know if my son scratched the game. I am sure he COULD have, but we weren't there long and it was some time ago. She does have a 3-year-old and an infant in her house, so really anything could happen.

Am I obligated to offer to buy a new game for her? Should I be making my DS pay for this?


WWYD?

My opinion is that if you own a Wii yourself, you found a way to pay for it and for the games you own, so you can afford to find a way to replace the one your child messed up. Sorry.

 

[mamaLori05]

I would definately replace it, even if it meant that I had to cut back somewhere else. The fact that you said you were having the same exact problem with your own wii games because of your ds, makes me believe that he wasn't all that careful with her games. If he scratched yours, then he probably did scratch hers as well. It's just not worth getting into an argument with your sis over.

You also mentioned that if you replace this game, then your ds won't be able to get the same game for xmas. If he is being that irresponsible with the games both at your house and at hers, it would make a great lesson. I would even explain to him that because this happened, he will not be getting any wii games for xmas.

 

[pigletto]

This is somewhat budget related....

My sister emailed me and asked me to talk with my DS (7) because they went to play their Wii and found one of their games not working and a few scratches on some others. They hadn't played the Wii for some time, but said my DS had played it several times at their house. They had given him permission to play the games,and he played it on his own intheir basement.

Now, that very same evening that I get this email, my DH and I both have to talk with same DS about being responsible for his Wii games and DVDs/CDs. We were finding them all over our basement - not in cases - and noticed some scratches as well. We told him he needs to always put them back in their cases and handle them gently.

After getting the email from my sister, we spoke with him AGAIN, and added that from now on, he really needs to have an adult help him with any DVDs or CDs since he doesn't know how to handle them properly.

I email my sister and tell her we spoke with him and have told him he is not allowed to play anything without an adult, and suggest that she not allow him to play the Wii at her house without supervision too.

She writes back "thanks... hope he's not too mad at me.... It's just that one game doesn't work at all now and others are scratched... And we sort of yelled at A [their 3-year-old] thinking that he had done it.... Hope R [my son] isn't mad at us..."

So, twice now she tells me her game is broken, and I think she's hinting that we should replace the game. Thing is, we haven't been to her house for over a month, and I really don't know if my son scratched the game. I am sure he COULD have, but we weren't there long and it was some time ago. She does have a 3-year-old and an infant in her house, so really anything could happen.

Am I obligated to offer to buy a new game for her? Should I be making my DS pay for this?

If I knew he broke the game on purpose (or even if I knew he did it accidentally) I would think we should replace it. But we don't know what happened to it. I have no idea if they played the game since we were there last, or if they had anyone else who played it, or if their son touches the games.

WWYD?

I haven't read the responses but I would absolutely replace the game. You yourself know given the talk you had with him that there is a very good chance he broke it. I think that's good enough reason to replace it and be done with it. I'd hate to see it become a bone of contention between you.

 

[okeydokey]

I haven't read the responses but I would absolutely replace the game. You yourself know given the talk you had with him that there is a very good chance he broke it. I think that's good enough reason to replace it and be done with it. I'd hate to see it become a bone of contention between you.

I agree. If your son was irresponsible with the games at his house (you said he left them all over and they got scratched) then it is not too much of a stretch to believe he was also careless with his cousin's games. I would offer to replace the one game that is broken and then give your sis the info about getting the scratched ones resurfaced.

 

[disneyfreakk]

I would at least offer to replace it.