Wwyd?

[DisneyBamaFan]

I was taught is a seminar to yell fire. HUH?

If a kid yelled "Fire!", I might turn and look, but I might just think the kid is playing around. If I heard a kid scream, "Help! This is not my mother/father!", I would stop what I was doing and react. Makes sense if you think about it...

 

[daisyduck123]

what would you do in this situation?

Move, without a doubt...esp. since you stated that you live near MANY people registered on that site you checked out. There has got to be a better area to live in.

 

[deva]

Absolutely call the police and then MOVE. Get your kids out of there no matter what the cost. Living 2 doors from a registered sex offender is just more risk than any parent should ever take.

 

[C*Beans]

I haven't read all the responses, but just wanted to comment on this. I would contact the police foremost.

Also, I tell every parent to read "The Gift of Fear" and "Protecting the Gift" both by Gavin Debecker. He is a safetly expert and has some important advice. You may have seen him on Oprah a few times.

So sorry about your situation. In all honesty, if there wasn't much chance of that perv moving in the very near future, I'd find a way to move myself. Not fair for sure, but he has already tried to lure your girls in. There is no way I'd feel safe and have any piece of mind with my girls out of sight even for a second knowing he was there.

 

[scrapquitler]

Well, after all that, now I want to ask, what would you do in this situation? What would you tell your kids about this guy? Would you do or say anything to anybody about what happened? What would you say? I'm really at a loss for what to do, I don't want my kids to be limited in what they do or where they play, but I also don't want to worry every time they go out of my sight. I really doubt that anything like this will happen to my DDs again, because Joe and Greg pretty much told Mike that if he even looked at my kids again his family will never find his body! And they were dead serious.

My first move would be to call the police. Then I would explain to my children that 'Mike' is someone that they are NOT allowed to go near because he has a history of hurting children. That would be all I would tell them. I assume that you have already had the 'stranger danger' talk and explained to them about what to do if they are in a situation where someone is trying to do something inappropriate to them. If not, I would have that talk with them, NOW.

 

[N&B'smom]

No update!??!?!

 

[MonkeyDishwasher]

Have you checked the Megan's Law website? It would tell you of any offenders in your area and why they are registered offenders. This would also give you his first and last name (assuming that he's registered his location, which he is required to do if he is actually a deviant).

 

[sunnyday123]

Age of consent varies by state, but if one party is over 18 it's generally accepted that the age difference can be no more than 3 years.

As for the people who say "just move!", it must be nice to have that kind of money. Even if they live in an apartment, it still costs a lot to move. First and last month's rent, deposits, and the fine for breaking a lease. Teach your kids to not go into other people's houses without your permission, to run away, kick bite punch, whatever it takes..moving isn't the only option. We have a sex offender right across the street. There are 4 within a few blocks. We'll teach my daughter what I said above, and be watchful when she's playing outside. There's nothing more we can do, sex offenders are everywhere.

There was a little girl, I beleive in Florida who did just that. Her body was found a few days later. My DD's safety and well-being cannot be measured by money, and if I was in this situation, I'd move. I'm pretty certain they rental office wouldn't give them too much grief when they explained what happened.

And if a child sex offender lived across from me, and was a risk, I'd sell my house.

 

[sunnyday123]

I don't want to be in the position of defending any sex offenders, but once again, I can tell you that in NJ, a 19 year old who has consensual relations with a 15 year old is guilty of a sex offense and is required to register under Megan's Law.

I've read more than a few cases like this where the parent finds out and presses charges, even though the two were involved in a dating relationship. I'm not debating the morality, just passing on the facts.

That being said, these are the exception rather than the rule. Unfortunately, most sex offenders have earned their way onto the registry.

And an 18+ year old should have enough sense to not mess with a 15 year old.

If one messed with my 15 year old, getting arrested would be the least of his problems.

 

[bumbershoot]

Um, yea. Attempting to "lure a child" is a crime. The police are not going to come talk to him about being inappropriate-and what, give him a time out? Take away his tv time? No. What if he's in a car? That would be attempted kidnapping, same difference.

And pretty much every area has offenders in or around it, but something like this happening, and it being an apartment where you aren't locked into a 30 year mortgage, I'd still be moving.

You know, I was trying to HELP the OP contact the police. Trying to take the pressure off.

She was shying away from it because she was thinking WAY too far down the road, to her kids testifying in some big trial. So I was trying to get her to think about it in a much less long-term fashion.

 

[Silly Little Pixie]

OP, talk to the local police (who have jurisdiction to actually do something)!! Let them sort it out. You are so lucky that your girls didn't go into that house! I shudder to think of what could have happened. Don't let time go by because you are being polite. He could be hurting his GF's children, or other neighborhood kids.

I live near a child molester. He lives about a block down from my house on my streeet. I see him outside, washing his car, and walking to the store sometimes. I have shown my kids his picture and explained that he hurts children (according to familywatchdog it's a lewd and lascivious act with a child under 14). I also don't let them go around the neighborhood AT ALL unsupervised. I hate that it has to be that way. But I own my home, and he owns his. My next door neighbor just moved in, and has a DD 13 same as me. I saw her DD talking to neighborhood kids and walking around the neighborhood last night, around dark. I immediately called the new neighbor and explained about this child molester. I realize other people still let their kids walk around with this guy out and about, but maybe they don't know about him? I bet lots of people have never looked up who lives in their neighborhood. I'm sure glad I did. My kids used to walk past his house to play in the field at the end of the street.

Better safe than sorry!

 

[robinb]

I think the advise for the OP to move away is far too simplistic. Sadly, unless you live in a cave or in a very rural area there is bound to be someone near you that has been guilty of some kind of sex crime. If you do find a place with no sexual predators nearby you are still not home free because you can't stop someone from moving in next to you.

I personally think having your BIL find out more about the guy is a good second step. However, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he went on to molest another child because I didn't go to the police and report his suspicious behavior.

I second (third, etc) the advise to read Gavin Debecker.

 

[C*Beans]

I think the advise for the OP to move away is far too simplistic. Sadly, unless you live in a cave or in a very rural area there is bound to be someone near you that has been guilty of some kind of sex crime. If you do find a place with no sexual predators nearby you are still not home free because you can't stop someone from moving in next to you.

I personally think having your BIL find out more about the guy is a good second step. However, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he went on to molest another child because I didn't go to the police and report his suspicious behavior.

I second (third, etc) the advise to read Gavin Debecker.

I think you are right on part of this. But I do think there is a difference b/t just having an offender live near you and having one that lives near you that has displayed red flag behavior towards your children (trying to get them in his house for ice pops).

 

[robinb]

I think you are right on part of this. But I do think there is a difference b/t just having an offender live near you and having one that lives near you that has displayed red flag behavior towards your children (trying to get them in his house for ice pops).

IMO, the "red flags" need to be dealt with directly. Not by running away. "You can’t run from trouble, there ain’t no place that far."

 

[OceanAnnie]

This is exactly what my BIL is going to do...I consider it completly taken care of, when my BIL says not to worry about it, he will take care of it, I know it's a done deal. LOL He even told me to have dinner ready for him when he comes by tonight, and he will be bringing 2 other state troopers in the area with him! As long as this guy is legit, they are just gonna scare some sense into him, now if he is really a child molester, they will do what they have to do about it.

Mickeylove2, it sounds like your BIL has a handle on it. Please keep us posted!

I think your thread has done a great service for a lot of parents. Thank you for sharing your experience. And thank you to those that posted the websites about sexual offenders. It's good information. I have seen the sites before, but it's good to check now and again. New people come into areas all the time.

I have, "what if", talks from time to time with the kids. What if somebody came up to you and asked you to help them find their dog or cat? What would you do? What if someone calls you to their car to ask for directions, what would you do? What if someone wants to give you candy? We have discussions about those kind of scenarios (and more). I want them to think before they are in a position that could be precarious.

 

[lillygator]

There was a little girl, I beleive in Florida who did just that. Her body was found a few days later. My DD's safety and well-being cannot be measured by money, and if I was in this situation, I'd move. I'm pretty certain they rental office wouldn't give them too much grief when they explained what happened.

And if a child sex offender lived across from me, and was a risk, I'd sell my house.

which one? There have been quite a few murdered children here in FL at the hands of RSO's. They need to be all put on an island somewhere together.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

Mickeylove2, it sounds like your BIL has a handle on it. Please keep us posted!

I think your thread has done a great service for a lot of parents. Thank you for sharing your experience. And thank you to those that posted the websites about sexual offenders. It's good information. I have seen the sites before, but it's good to check now and again. New people come into areas all the time.

I have, "what if", talks from time to time with the kids. What if somebody came up to you and asked you to help them find their dog or cat? What would you do? What if someone calls you to their car to ask for directions, what would you do? What if someone wants to give you candy? We have discussions about those kind of scenarios (and more). I want them to think before they are in a position that could be precarious.

I bring this up with my DS, too, from time to time. I get the and the but I know he's listening. He's going to the National Jamboree this summer and his troop was required to watch a film about child predators. He said "it was disturbing" in that the guys in the film seemed like normal, every day type of guys (yup, that's the point!) and it was insidious (my word - I can't remember how he said it) how they got their "victims" in the film. I think that film may have done what my "chats" with him couldn't - to actually see how easily a predator can maneuver his way past a child's defenses.

 

[mickeylove2]

Ok, wow. We had an interesting night last night! Sorry it took forever to update. So I had 3 state troopers over last night, they went and talked to Mike when we saw him pull in.

And FTR, I don't live in an apartment building, it's actually 1 half of a house- the front half, Mary lives in the back half, Mike lives in another half a house across the lane and down some. There is another house down the lane too, the same landlord owns them all. So when I say I tell my kids to stay in sight of the front door, that is so I know that if they can see the front door, then they are in front of the house and I can look out any window and see them, if they can see the front door, they are no where near Mike.

So, anyway, they went and took Mike's info, long story short, Mike is no longer required to register, it has been 15 years since his crime. He is not on probation or parole so he can live where he chooses. The only thing I can do is be vigilant. No one is happy that this guy can live freely but that's the law. They did interview the GF and other neighbors about Mike. They said that there was really nothing that could be done, he didn't break any laws. My BIL was adamant that if he EVER spoke to my children again than he was going to personally make his life miserable. He was informed that the MSP will be driving by periodically and not to be surprised to see a state trooper stopping by to talk to the kids in the area at least weekly.

After all of that. The GF's kids' father came by, IDK who told him about Mike, but anyway he came by and took his kids and told the GF that he will be taking her back to court and taking the kids to the Dr. to see if they are ok. (I have a feeling my BIL got ahold of him somehow because my BIL wanted to take the kids to get checked out last night but didn't have the authority to do it.) Then Mike and the GF got into an argument, it got pretty loud, he was packing his things and trying to leave but she didn't want him to. THEN the GF came beating on my door screaming at me. So, we got into it on my front porch! THEN Mike came over and started yelling at me, Joe came out and stepped in front of me, I really thought Mike was going to hit me, and Mary and her BF came over and kind of separated everyone. Someone called the police and the town cops showed up, they took Mike and the GF down the lane and got their statements, they got our statements. I am going to file for a protection order from Mike, I just know that he will retaliate against me or my kids. The town cops weren't very helpful but when my BIL and another state trooper showed up things got 10 times better. Mike and his GF will be charged with disorderly conduct and Mike is leaving, I called the landlord today, he had no idea that Mike was even living there and since she broke the lease by having him there, and caused such a disturbance that the police were involved, he is going today to file for eviction for her, so they will not be living there soon anyway.

I really just wanted my kids to be safe, I did NOT want all of this to happen. I feel so bad for the outcome of everything. I did not sleep well last night, there were people at my house until almost 2am and I had to be at work by 8. I tossed and turned all night wide eyed awake. Every time I heard a car drive by I held my breath worried that it was someone wanting to start trouble. I also talked to my landlord about getting out of my lease and finding a new apartment, he said that he will actually have another property (he has about 80 in town) available in about 2 weeks if I want that place I can have it, I don't technically have a lease. He is friends of a friend of mine and when I needed to move he helped me out right away and apparently I never even signed the lease

Thank you all for your replies.

 

[Luvchefmic]

disregard....op you were posting the same time I was....glad you did with an update.....

 

[bgirldeb]

I also talked to my landlord about getting out of my lease and finding a new apartment, he said that he will actually have another property (he has about 80 in town) available in about 2 weeks if I want that place I can have it, I don't technically have a lease. He is friends of a friend of mine and when I needed to move he helped me out right away and apparently I never even signed the lease

Thank you all for your replies.

Ww! You did the right thing! I would definitely very seriously consider that other property, and if that doesn't work out, sounds like you aren't bound by a lease, and can look elsewhere.