Wwyd?

[Nancyg56]

I would be calling the police first. It's not just your children but others including the child in that guy's house that need to be protected. I would tell them every detail including that he is living with a woman and child now, which would be against the rules.

I would also have an age appropriate conversation with the girls stressing under no circumstances that they should be going into that apartment whether with the other little girl or mom there or not. I would stress how much you worry about them when you or Joe or whomever can't see them and that you would never want anything bad to happen. I wouldn't scare them but they need to understand to never leave your site but especially never never go into that apartment even with the other little girl there.

Exactly!

ETA: I would also have a chat with the neighbor and explain why my chhildren were never entering her home.

 

[brockash]

Ok, I wanted to get some opinions from you guys about this new issue I have. I've been living in this apartment for a few months, and now that the weather is getting nice my girls are outside playing. I found a while ago from a neighbor that there is a guy who lives 2 doors down who is a registered $ex offender (child molestation, we will call him Mike) Anyway, he lives with a woman and her children, 1 girl has made friends with my DDs. This girl comes over and plays with my DDs and the rest of the kids in the area (there are 5 apartments all with kids around the same ages and we share a lane and huge grassy area) but I have told my DDs that they are not allowed to her house and have to stay within sight of the front door at all times unless they tell me where they are going, and then usually my friend-Mary who lives behind me has sight of them.

So, the other day this guy that I have been dating-Joe was over and we were outside with the girls, I went in to start dinner and Joe was keeping an eye on them for me. Well, Joe is Mary's cousin so he knows all about Mike and apparently, while I was in starting dinner, my girls got out of Joe's sight for literally 2 minutes and he went around the corner to check on them and Mary was outside with the kids and she yelled for Joe because Mike was trying to get my DDs to come into his house with freeze pops. Well, Mary yells for my girls to get to her house and Joe goes over to Mike and, well you can imagine the words that were exchanged. So I hear Mary yelling for her BF-Greg to come outside and then she's yelling at Joe so I go out to see what is going on and I find all this out. Nothing was said about Mike to any of the kids, Joe and Greg were just flipping out because he was trying to coax my DDs into his house, his GF was at work so there was no one in his house but him. Regardless of Mike's status, he is a grown man and does not need to have little girls in his home. There were about 8 kids outside playing together and he only had 2 freeze pops and was calling my DDs names specifically. So of course I'm mad as h3ll at this guy and now I'm scared to have my DDs outside at all!

Well, after all that, now I want to ask, what would you do in this situation? What would you tell your kids about this guy? Would you do or say anything to anybody about what happened? What would you say? I'm really at a loss for what to do, I don't want my kids to be limited in what they do or where they play, but I also don't want to worry every time they go out of my sight. I really doubt that anything like this will happen to my DDs again, because Joe and Greg pretty much told Mike that if he even looked at my kids again his family will never find his body! And they were dead serious.

How old are you kids? Most likely, either way, in some terms I'd be telling them about this Mike guy, and that he's bad and does bad things to kids and that they should make sure they're never around him ect. It sounds like you already are doing this, but just to reiterate, I'd never let them outside without you or BF watching them. Do you know the details of the crime he committed? Was it against a child or an adult? Does Mike's GF know?...and she's still comfortable with having him around her dd? -If his crime was against a child, is he even legally allowed to be living in the same place as a child? If you don't know these answers; I'd call the police, because I'd be very worried for the child that lives with him. Good luck to you.

 

[EnchantedTales]

I agree with others, call the police. What is a sex offender doing living with children?! Or living around children?! Isn't that against the rules? Oh, and in terms of your children, I personally have been very blunt with my children about this issue. Under no circumstances are to get in anyone's car, house or anywhere without my knowledge and approval. I have also taught them how to defend themselves if someone attacks them and fully intend to find a personal defense class for them. Paranoid? Yes, but I rather be paranoid and safe, than sorry I wasn't.

Originally Posted by iwrbnd

Normal adults don't want to spend time with children that aren't their own! Think about it.

I disagree. A fair amount of adults truly enjoy the company of children and teenagers and they are no deviants by any means. I, for example, work around children, have children, volunteer in both kids school and still fully enjoy their company. I think kids are fun, then again I think I'm a big kid myself.

 

[iwrbnd]

I agree with others, call the police. What is a sex offender doing living with children?! Or living around children?! Isn't that against the rules? Oh, and in terms of your children, I personally have been very blunt with my children about this issue. Under no circumstances are to get in anyone's car, house or anywhere without my knowledge and approval. I have also taught them how to defend themselves if someone attacks them and fully intend to find a personal defense class for them. Paranoid? Yes, but I rather be paranoid and safe, than sorry I wasn't.



I disagree. A fair amount of adults truly enjoy the company of children and teenagers and they are no deviants by any means. I, for example, work around children, have children, volunteer in both kids school and still fully enjoy their company. I think kids are fun, then again I think I'm a big kid myself.

I know, I agree with you. I work with kids for my job, I volunteer with chidren at our church and have a million neighborhood kids at my house everyday after school. I meant adults that try to spend one on one time with a child out of their family raises red flags. I do all the things you do but I never wake up and think "Gee, today I think I'll call little Johnny over and see if he wants to watch a movie with me" or "That little girl looks nice outside. I think I'll call her in for a popsicle and a chat." But then maybe that's just me and I admit I very well may be wrong!

 

[lillygator]

my kids would not be playing outside and I would call the police and let them know what happened.

 

[shortbun]

Call the police. Call them now. If he's on the prowl again, some child who's parent and adult caregivers are not so good will fall prey. The police need to know what he did with your girls.

 

[surfergirl602]

you need to call the police because if he is indeed a registered offender, living with children is against the law. Don't get that thought into your head that oh, nothing happened,,, this time.... because all it takes is five seconds for that child to be out of your eyesight. Be one step ahead of it and stop it NOW.

 

[ccgirl]

An important distinction is what level sex offender are they? I would personally walk into the police station and chat with them in person. There usually isn't a whole lot of restricitions for level 3 offenders. Can you move out of your apt? In any case, I would not be living that close regardless of the level of sex offender they are. Just not worth it IMHO. Go to the police station and tell them what happened.

 

[kirstenb1]

I know, I agree with you. I work with kids for my job, I volunteer with chidren at our church and have a million neighborhood kids at my house everyday after school. I meant adults that try to spend one on one time with a child out of their family raises red flags. I do all the things you do but I never wake up and think "Gee, today I think I'll call little Johnny over and see if he wants to watch a movie with me" or "That little girl looks nice outside. I think I'll call her in for a popsicle and a chat." But then maybe that's just me and I admit I very well may be wrong!

I knew exactly what you meant. Typically, if I have free time, and the kids are playing, I'll straighten the house, cook, talk to another child's parent, etc. I love kids, but don't seek them out for conversation. Now when kids approach me, yes I'll talk with them, but I'd usually rather talk with people my own age.

 

[mickeylove2]

Thanks for all of your replies...just to clarify some things, the problem I'm having with all of this is that I don't know his last name, I was only told by other neighbors about him so I don't even know if it's 100% true, kwim? So I don't want to go to the police station without this information, Mary is going to see what she can find out about him, we are the 2 newest in the area so IDK what the others know about him or why they haven't called about him living there. I did explain, as I have before, to my DDs 9 & 7 about strangers, and I specifically told them about not being allowed around Mike AT ALL. Of course they want to know why, I don't want to terrorize them but I did tell them that he is not someone that little girls need to be around. I will not be letting my DDs out of my sight at all, even if that means that they have to spend some time inside with me, until I get some more info. I even thought about having the Gfs DD come over to my house and trying to find out from her, who he is and if anything has happened to her but the mom and I already had it out over this so IDK if she will be allowed to play with my DDs now.

 

[cheermom1]

Thanks for all of your replies...just to clarify some things, the problem I'm having with all of this is that I don't know his last name, I was only told by other neighbors about him so I don't even know if it's 100% true, kwim? So I don't want to go to the police station without this information, Mary is going to see what she can find out about him, we are the 2 newest in the area so IDK what the others know about him or why they haven't called about him living there. I did explain, as I have before, to my DDs 9 & 7 about strangers, and I specifically told them about not being allowed around Mike AT ALL. Of course they want to know why, I don't want to terrorize them but I did tell them that he is not someone that little girls need to be around. I will not be letting my DDs out of my sight at all, even if that means that they have to spend some time inside with me, until I get some more info. I even thought about having the Gfs DD come over to my house and trying to find out from her, who he is and if anything has happened to her but the mom and I already had it out over this so IDK if she will be allowed to play with my DDs now.

When I first started reading I felt like there could have been a number of reasons why he is a registered $ex offender but then you said he tried to coax them in his apt???? That would scare me beyond belief

If I were you I would find out all I could about this man and why is a registered $ex offender and why he is living there and about is GF b/c she could have been with him when he did what he did IF he did it?? Once I had the facts I would go from there weather i need to call his parole officer or the police or what. I think what you are doing with your kids is good making sure they know what they need to know to stay away and be alert.

 

[hedgehog2owl]

Thanks for all of your replies...just to clarify some things, the problem I'm having with all of this is that I don't know his last name, I was only told by other neighbors about him so I don't even know if it's 100% true, kwim? So I don't want to go to the police station without this information, Mary is going to see what she can find out about him, we are the 2 newest in the area so IDK what the others know about him or why they haven't called about him living there. I did explain, as I have before, to my DDs 9 & 7 about strangers, and I specifically told them about not being allowed around Mike AT ALL. Of course they want to know why, I don't want to terrorize them but I did tell them that he is not someone that little girls need to be around. I will not be letting my DDs out of my sight at all, even if that means that they have to spend some time inside with me, until I get some more info. I even thought about having the Gfs DD come over to my house and trying to find out from her, who he is and if anything has happened to her but the mom and I already had it out over this so IDK if she will be allowed to play with my DDs now.

S#xual Offender Act of 1994 (Megan's Law) you can check to see if/where/who the sexual offenders are that live near you. In my state they even give first and last names and even a picture if on file. Search for your address here http://www.familywatchdog.us/

 

[OceanAnnie]

I knew exactly what you meant. Typically, if I have free time, and the kids are playing, I'll straighten the house, cook, talk to another child's parent, etc. I love kids, but don't seek them out for conversation. Now when kids approach me, yes I'll talk with them, but I'd usually rather talk with people my own age.

I knew what you meant too, iwrbnd. I was thinking along the same as the above.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Thanks for all of your replies...just to clarify some things, the problem I'm having with all of this is that I don't know his last name, I was only told by other neighbors about him so I don't even know if it's 100% true, kwim? So I don't want to go to the police station without this information, Mary is going to see what she can find out about him, we are the 2 newest in the area so IDK what the others know about him or why they haven't called about him living there. I did explain, as I have before, to my DDs 9 & 7 about strangers, and I specifically told them about not being allowed around Mike AT ALL. Of course they want to know why, I don't want to terrorize them but I did tell them that he is not someone that little girls need to be around. I will not be letting my DDs out of my sight at all, even if that means that they have to spend some time inside with me, until I get some more info. I even thought about having the Gfs DD come over to my house and trying to find out from her, who he is and if anything has happened to her but the mom and I already had it out over this so IDK if she will be allowed to play with my DDs now.

I have worked for 3 Police agencies 2 in NY one in FL, don't worry about his last name & you & Mary don't do another thing..EXCEPT call your local PD ask for the SVU (Sexual Victims Unit) if this is a small PD ask to speak to a Detective....tell him/her exactly what you have told us and have your kids in sight every second until this is resolved....keep safe

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Seriously? Call the police now. Tell them a registed sex offender tried to lure your girls inside his place and you want him stopped before a child is raped or murdered. That should get their attention. Find out if you can contact his parole officer or whatever you have to do. He tried to entice your DDs into his house while his GF was not there. Gee, you think he MAY have been up to no good? Thank God someone caught on to what he was doing. The odds are, he has restrictions against contact with children. I wouldn't be surprised if he shouldn't even be anywhere around his GF's 2 kids. For that matter, I'm such a freak about child molesters that I'd call CPS on her stupid *** for having her kids around a registered sex offender and putting them at risk. Basically, I'd be on the phone all day until that guy was headed off behind bars.

I like your style and ITA!

And this may not be agreed on here, but I would tell my DDs that Mike has hurt little girls before and they are to stay away from him. My mom had a registered sex offender across the street from her, and I showed my boys his picture and told them he was a very bad man and they must not ever talk to him. They were very young, so they never went outside without anyone, but I wanted to be safe.

 

[msjprincess]

I like your style and ITA!

And this may not be agreed on here, but I would tell my DDs that Mike has hurt little girls before and they are to stay away from him. My mom had a registered sex offender across the street from her, and I showed my boys his picture and told them he was a very bad man and they must not ever talk to him. They were very young, so they never went outside without anyone, but I wanted to be safe.

Maybe she should confirm that he really is a registered sex offender first.

 

[cheermom1]

Maybe she should confirm that he really is a registered sex offender first.

I do agree with you that she needs find out the facts about that, I know someone that is a registered sex offender but it was just teen love so sad. But what gets me with this story is that he tried to coax them in his appt. when his gf was not there.

 

[Metsfan520]

Generalize much?

OP the very first thing you need to do is verify what your friend told you about this person and the degree is correct. Then you can figure out how to proceed. It will probably be a matter of contacting the police (non-emergency line) and having a chat about who is living with him and his attempted contact with your children. You do not need to give your children details; all you need to say is that he is a bad man who hurts children and they need to stay away from him.

I believe you don't have to know his name, you should be able to search by neighborhood. If it turns out that he is an offender, call the police.

 

[Jennasis]

I wouldn't wait to check a strange man's first, last name or offender status before calling the cops and letting them know a strange man tried to lure my two young girls into his apartment. Let the cops sort out the hairy details (name/status).

OP, YOU just make the call. Now. Not tomorrow, not later. Right this second.

If he were innocent of any wrongdoing, then let the cops scare some sense into him. If he's truly a sex offender, then let them haul his disgusting butt away.

 

[LuvLDM]

The first thing I would do is confirm that he is, in fact a registered sex offender.
Either way, I think every parent should discuss safety issues w/ their children.