WWYD ? Son fell at school & no one called ?

[pandora174]

OP said that she wants to be notified for every bump and bruise he gets while at school and that is what I was addressing. That is an unreasonable expectation, in my opinion (as a former teacher and current overprotective parent). OP, do you really want your son to be the boy that has a note sent to Mommy everytime he skins his knee or Mom is called anytime he scrapes his elbow?

Sorry but I dispectfully disagree. I re-read my post & I did not say I wanted to be notified of every bump & bruise. I expect to be notifed as I have for the last year of every "injury" while on school grounds, maybe I should of clarified what I define as an injury. But I think a visible raised bump with a visible abrasion is an injury as a bite, throwing up etc. is something that warrants a call or a mention at pick up time. That is the experience I had with his Kinder teacher & this year in PE he got a nose bleed which was quickly stopped & I was called & asked to pick him up so he could "rest".

And everytime his past teacher called from the office reference "any" injury there was no stigma attached to getting hurt & letting your mom or dad know & how the school took care of you. All kids receive the same treatment.

 

[Minnie]

Head injuries have nothing to do with letting your baby grow up, you never know how serious they are. I would rather know about a head injury than a failed test. My son fell at the bus stop and had a bump, he was crying which he never does. We took him to the Dr. office aftr we called them, They said with a head bump you can't be too careful. I find it insulting to tell a mom to let her kid grow up if she is upset about not being notified about a bump on the head. Also we had one a coup;le of years ago, during after school care, he fell and hit his head, said he felt fine, they forgot to call his mom, That night he complained of a headache , he had a concussion. Again, I guess they should have just "let him grow up"

ITA. My cousin hit his head and seemed fine. Later that day he fell ill and ended up being diagnosed with a head injury. This is not a "hovering" parent issue or "special snowflake" this is a head injury. Absolutely should have been reported!

 

[BuffettFan]

OP said that she wants to be notified for every bump and bruise he gets while at school and that is what I was addressing. That is an unreasonable expectation, in my opinion (as a former teacher and current overprotective parent). OP, do you really want your son to be the boy that has a note sent to Mommy everytime he skins his knee or Mom is called anytime he scrapes his elbow?

ITA !!

I think its totally unreasonable to be notified of every bump and bruise.
Spend the day in a first grade classrom....just one.... You'll see that there is so much going on that its just not possible for a teacher to sit down and write a note (or talkl to parents at pickup time) every time Johnny gets a boo-boo. By first grade children are old enough to tell their parents about any minor injuries when they get home.

Now serious injuries are another story...If they spend a prolonged time in the school clinic, then a parent shoud be called while there child is there. But bumps and bruises...cmon, the elementary schools here have almost 1000 students, they would need a full time employee just to write those notes/make phone calls every day.

Funny story about my own son....
By 8th grade my son had broken a finger 12 different times!
The last 2 happened at school. Each time the nurse called, said his fingers were def. broken....and he was refusing to leave school. They taped them up, gave him Motrin.....and we waited until after school for the trip for xrays.

Get used to it. Kids get boos boos....and it might take a few hours for you to hear about it.

 

[daisyduck123]

Chances are it slipped her mind because it wasn't a big deal. Your son told you, that should be enough. I don't think it is any cause for a note to the teacher nor should you expect a reporting on every bump or bruise.

I am a 1st grade teacher with 24 students

 

[justhat]

My son is 3yo. He fell (or something to that effect) on the playground on Friday. Had a bump on his head. Before I saw him I happened to see his teacher (he was in aftercare that day, so seeing her was pure coincidence) and she told me how protective my daughter is of her little brother, told her that he hurt his head, that he needed an ice pack, etc. She then went on to say "there should be an incident report in his bag". I didn't ask at all about the injury, the discussion was focused solely on my daughter's 'big sister skills', at which we chuckled and that was that. I then got my son and we went home. No report in his bag. It could have gotten lost. The asst teacher could have forgotten to fill it out. Who knows. Had I not run into her I would not have found out about the injury at all (unless my kids told me, which is likely, especially since the cruise was noticable on sight so I would have asked).

I didn't really care though. He's a 3yo boy. They run, fall, crash, trip, etc. all the time. Injuries are bound to happen. They happen when I am alone with him so I expect them at school also. Now, if it were a serious injury (not a dime-sized bruise), I would expect a note, call, whatever is necessary. But if the kid is totally fine then I really don't expect anything. Yes, the incident report would be nice, but I don't even check the kid's backpack everyday anyway, so in the past the reports have gone unnoticed for days at a time.

I am not saying injuries should go unreported, but people do forget and make mistakes. If it were a serious injury I would totally expect you to be notified immediately, but this was not the case so I would definitely let it go.

 

[PaulaSue]

The only time I ever gotten a call for any of my 3 DD in school is when I had to take oldest to the doctor for her wrist for falling off the monkey bars to double check if broken and my youngest to the ear doctor for something in her ear.

If they called every time a bump happened, I would get at least a call a week. Teachers don't have time for all of that. I want them to be spending time with the kids and not on the phone all the time. KWIM

The nurse sends notes home for fever checks and meds given.

 

[mhsjax]

I am a 1st grade teacher with 24 students

I am glad you agree with her quote about not being a big deal. I hope that stand up in court if you ever have a kid that gets knocked in the head and then has serious complications from it. Head injuries are nothing to play with, I don't get the mentality here. If you don't see it then I understand, but if a kid tells you that he has been hurt you better do your job and get him to the nurse.

 

[mjkacmom]

Sorry but I dispectfully disagree. I re-read my post & I did not say I wanted to be notified of every bump & bruise. I expect to be notifed as I have for the last year of every "injury" while on school grounds, maybe I should of clarified what I define as an injury. But I think a visible raised bump with a visible abrasion is an injury as a bite, throwing up etc. is something that warrants a call or a mention at pick up time. That is the experience I had with his Kinder teacher & this year in PE he got a nose bleed which was quickly stopped & I was called & asked to pick him up so he could "rest".

And everytime his past teacher called from the office reference "any" injury there was no stigma attached to getting hurt & letting your mom or dad know & how the school took care of you. All kids receive the same treatment.

I have to say, my kids come home with bandaids all of the time, and I would think it strange to receive a phone call regarding them. I've always received phone calls for head injuries, and if my child is throwing up, I'm called for a pick up. My kids have had bloody noses in school before, and if I had been called, I would've been surprised - what the heck do you want me to do about it?

 

[PatsGirl]

Bumps and bruises are to be expected from children who are having fun Notes and phone calls from teachers every time there's a boo-boo not so much. Let's give these teachers the time they need to teach instead of worrying about the everyday occurrences of whether Jimmy didn't eat all his lunch or Jamie fell down and skinned his knee or June was crying because the other girls didn't like her pigtails For goodness sakes, this is a school not your full time one on one day care provider and they need (and I am sure would like to) start concentrating more on the 3R's and less on nurturing and discipline -- things kids should be getting at home.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

For any kind of head injury, absolutely I'd expect to be notified.

 

[TaraPA]

Sorry but I dispectfully disagree. I re-read my post & I did not say I wanted to be notified of every bump & bruise. I expect to be notifed as I have for the last year of every "injury" while on school grounds, maybe I should of clarified what I define as an injury. But I think a visible raised bump with a visible abrasion is an injury as a bite, throwing up etc. is something that warrants a call or a mention at pick up time. That is the experience I had with his Kinder teacher & this year in PE he got a nose bleed which was quickly stopped & I was called & asked to pick him up so he could "rest".

And everytime his past teacher called from the office reference "any" injury there was no stigma attached to getting hurt & letting your mom or dad know & how the school took care of you. All kids receive the same treatment.

I agree & disagree. In this case where there was a possible head injury, yes a notification was warranted. But a call for a nose bleed so you could get him to rest - for real? That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, unless of course there's an underlying medical issue involved, or it came after a head injury, or was severe enough that they couldn't stop it. I'd be mad if I was asked to go to the school to pick up my child who had a nose bleed! Maybe not all kids get them, but in our high-allergy area of PA they are a daily occurrance. Clean it up, stop the bleed & move on!

 

[rgf207]

DS 6 just finished dinner & I brushed his bangs back as we were talking & he went "ouch". I look & there's a dime sized abrasion & raised bump on his forehead. He's fine but no call from the school or mention from his teacher when DH picked him up.

DS said that the teacher put ice, which is fine & he told me he tripped in recess & fell & he hit his head on the ground. But I've never had any incident even minor not reported to me when he was in kinder. He's now in 1rst grade. It really bothers me because when DH picked him up the same teacher told DH that DS wasn't listening to the teacher's aide & that she had added a book for reading for homework. But the bump & abrasion she forgot to mention ?

Not that I'm complaining on how the fall was taken care of, ice etc. But his Kinder teacher always called & told me "don't worry, he fell, or so & so pushed him etc. I put ice but I had to let you know since I had to file a report for the principal." So I'm used to that type of interaction. P.S. DS attends a small private Christian school, so small class size & lots of hands on by the staff.

I was thinking of sending his teacher a note, just that please to let me know if he gets hurt at school & giving her DH & my cell phone. Of course the school has all our contact info at the office & maybe she was having a hectic day etc. I don't know but it really bothered me. DH wants me to send an e-mail to the Principal, nicely worded but documented.

School started 8/24, so far no other problems & DS likes his teacher. But to be honest my first reaction was to be upset since I wasn't expecting to see a big bump & abrasion & not be told about it immediately. WWYD ? I don't want to start a teacher vs parents fight. I really like his school & his teachers are great but I also want to make sure I know of any injury or treatment given to DS.

can't your son tell you when he falls? Why rely on the school. They aren't required to give you daily status updates on everything that happens at school.

 

[Erin1700]

I didnt get a chance to read all of the replies, but a bump on the head deserves a note home. A scraped knee, I could overlook.

 

[luvmy3]

Not that I'm complaining on how the fall was taken care of, ice etc. But his Kinder teacher always called & told me "don't worry, he fell, or so & so pushed him etc. I put ice but I had to let you know since I had to file a report for the principal." So I'm used to that type of interaction. P.S. DS attends a small private Christian school, so small class size & lots of hands on by the staff.

I was thinking of sending his teacher a note, just that please to let me know if he gets hurt at school & giving her DH & my cell phone. Of course the school has all our contact info at the office & maybe she was having a hectic day etc. I don't know but it really bothered me. DH wants me to send an e-mail to the Principal, nicely worded but documented.

School started 8/24, so far no other problems & DS likes his teacher. But to be honest my first reaction was to be upset since I wasn't expecting to see a big bump & abrasion & not be told about it immediately. WWYD ? I don't want to start a teacher vs parents fight. I really like his school & his teachers are great but I also want to make sure I know of any injury or treatment given to DS.

Unless its school policy to inform parents of every bump and bruise what the K teacher did was purely a courtesy. You can't expect every teacher to call you everytime your child has an injury. I trust that teachers know what kind of injury requires a visit to the nurse, and if needed she can call you. If the teacher put an ice-pack on a bump and your child was fine I don't see any reason for her to stop what she's doing to call you.
I also think that emailing the principal is a bit overboard, the teacher didn't do anything wrong. You may not like that she didn't inform you, but unless there is a school policy she broke then there is no reason to report the incident to the principal.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

They should have notified you, plain and simple. (I mean, for simple liability purposes--hello!)

Head injuries are tricky and had you not known he hit his head and something happened...Natasha Richardson comes to mind.

Even as simple as sending the kid home with a note. He's 6 for pete's sake...like he's going to know the signs of a concussion or anything.

Not sure the reason for raking the OP over the coals. Heck, I'm notified of any simple little bump and bruise when my girls do gymnastics. They take their liability insurance seriously. The small boo boo's they get there (thus far) have been no more serious than what might be sustained on a playground, but I am notified each and every time.

Not that a school needs to go to that extreme--but for any hit on the head--absolutely or any signfiicant bruising--absolutley. And if they felt it serious enough to warrant icing--they must have thought it was a pretty serious boo boo.

 

[pandora174]

can't your son tell you when he falls? Why rely on the school. They aren't required to give you daily status updates on everything that happens at school.

My son has a speech delay which is in his medical records & they are aware he receives therapy & is in the school's ESE's program. So no somethimes he doesn't tell me everything that happens. & I did not request the daily updates this is what is in the school's handbook as their policy through elementary. I don't get a full update just a quick one sentence update & in his folder all his work for the day so we know the work he did at school. Again this is their policy which is what attracted us to the school so much.

 

[rgf207]

My son has a speech delay which is in his medical records & they are aware he receives therapy & is in the school's ESE's program. So no somethimes he doesn't tell me everything that happens. & I did not request the daily updates this is what is in the school's handbook as their policy through elementary. I don't get a full update just a quick one sentence update & in his folder all his work for the day so we know the work he did at school. Again this is their policy which is what attracted us to the school so much.

That answers my question. I was not aware of your son's speech delay. I did not know that was mentioned. I still don't think you should contact the principal.

 

[Tinkermom76]

My school is required to notify us of ANY head injury. (even a tiny cut) Head injuries are very serious. My daughter cuts her knees and arms all the time and never tells me so I am always asking what happened to her.
I would let the teacher know that your DS said she took care of it well for him but in the future if it is an injury to the HEAD you would prefer she lets you know in case he doesn't mention it.

 

[luvmy3]

My son has a speech delay which is in his medical records & they are aware he receives therapy & is in the school's ESE's program. So no somethimes he doesn't tell me everything that happens. & I did not request the daily updates this is what is in the school's handbook as their policy through elementary. I don't get a full update just a quick one sentence update & in his folder all his work for the day so we know the work he did at school. Again this is their policy which is what attracted us to the school so much.

Just curious, is the policy that you will recieve updates on his schoolwork, or that you will recieve updates about every single thing that he does, or happens to him throughout the day?

 

[pandora174]

Just curious, is the policy that you will recieve updates on his schoolwork, or that you will recieve updates about every single thing that he does, or happens to him throughout the day?

Direct quote from the school handbook "If your child receives any injury during school hours, either an "acccident/incident report" will be written for you to sign. Parents will also be notified if any accident or incident occurs. Any head injuries are reason for immediate parent notification."

On school work "Age appropriate progress reports will be provided daily and a formal report (i.e. report card) will be sent home four times a year. These daily reports can be verbal or in written form and are part of our evaluation of the student's development."

I don't think I'm being unreasonable.