WWYD - someone being racist on the street

[anniemae]

I would not have said anything. I think that is just asking for trouble. That's why I never engage with people on the road. If they cut me off, fine, I just go about my business. If someone is tailgating me, I let them go around me. I have seen way too many instances on the news of road rage ending in gun shots. You don't know what other people are capable of.

I do feel like as a nation, we have to stand up to racist bullies though. It's hard to let a comment like that pass, and it's hard to know what the right thing to do is.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

It was kind of strange because I've seen all sorts of behavior before, but I really haven't seen anything like what I saw tonight.

My kid is enjoying Shake Shack now, and they have a BOGO offer on a ShackBurger until tomorrow. Our closest location is in Oakland in the rapidly gentrifying Uptown area, but it's still Oakland and can be rough around the edges.

There's this guy who seems to be homeless and in a wheelchair looking for handouts right in front of the Shake Shack entrance on the sidewalk. Kind of scruffy with a white beard. As people are going in he's asking for people to bring him something to eat. As people are exiting the door he's asking where the food is that he asked for. Most are ignoring him as is typical. Most panhandlers are used to it.

We're waiting a while since they're really busy with all sorts of orders - especially from food delivery services, so it's taking a while. We're enjoying it and it's a fun, lively atmosphere. I think some LGBT pride event finished as there seemed to be a few drag queens grabbing dinner and everyone is getting along fabulously. We're enjoying our meal but it's time to go home.

As we exit, he's asking various people exiting "Where's my cheeseburger?" But then he focuses on one guy who looks to be of east Asian ancestry and then asks him. When he walks away, he yells at him "Go back to China!" I saw the guy he confronted inside and I'll just say I don't think he was born in China and most definitely was not someone who didn't belong there. But I don't really care how hungry this homeless guy is, and I yell at him "What the *$*# is your problem?" I'm not usually like that in public, but made an exception for this lowlife. He's about to confront me then but I can just walk away faster than he can approach me in his chair. I'm not usually that confrontational, but this idiot just drove me into responding.

It did occur to me that maybe he has a weapon, perhaps just a knife. But the thing is that that I've been to Oakland many times and have never, ever seen anything like this. People tend to mind their own business, or otherwise just get along regardless of background. I wasn't sure if this guy could be removed from the street by police for disturbing the peace or something. Not that Oakland Police has the time for it, but I've been in a neighboring city where I've seen police remove panhandlers who were blocking the street and/or being obnoxious to people who wouldn't give money. Over the years I've seen regular panhandlers who were exceedingly polite and would never yell at anyone who failed to to give a handout.

Scenes like this are unfolding in many places today, and it‘s getting worse with mixed opinions on how to deal with it. What surprises me most about your story is you saying you’ve never seen this before. Some of these people panhandling on the streets are violent, unstable individuals who wouldn’t think twice about plunging a knife into your chest for no reason. I think that if he had jumped out of his chair (yes we’ve seen people fold them up at the end of the day, put them in their trunk, then drive off) to attack you in front of your son, it wouldn’t have been worth it. I get that his racist comments are the thing that triggered you, but people like that will find something to say about everyone just to get a reaction. I’m sure the Asian man appreciated that you stuck up for him, but would never have wanted to see you hurt because of it. So yes, I think ignoring and moving away from these types of people is really the best thing you can do, sadly enough. As a society, we need to treat this as the public health and safety issue that it is.

 

[rlk]

I, unfortunately, due to past history, would not interfere. That doesn't mean I condone the act.

Over the years, I've offered food to several people asking for money to buy food. At least five times, I've been yelled at for actually giving food and not money. I have also been physically attacked by a mentally ill person who ran up behind me and punched me in my back so hard, all while yelling "all Jews must die." I was just walking to pick up my kids from elementary school and happened to be wearing a small Star of David necklace that must have set him off.

 

[prairie_girl]

Unfortunately the likelihood of you being injured or killed is vastly greater than the likelihood of persuading the ranting racist to see the error of his ways and to become an enlightened and tolerant person. So don’t even try.

killed??

I’m with @ronandannette, it wouldn’t even really cross my mind to wonder if they had a weapon. I probably wouldn’t say anything, but I’d look over at the person who was the target and see visually if they were ok.

 

[Jangles]

This is such a depressing thread. To get some perspective, I thought about all the strangers I have encountered this week, and how many I considered potential threats. Actually none. A few weeks ago, I came across a family picnicking near a beach, who were beating an adder to death (protected species here). They looked and sounded a bit rough, so I chose to walk on by. But on balance I want to believe that the good people are in the majority. It is sad that we are becoming fearful of others, and even sadder that those fears are justified.

 

[Sanchez]

Oh boy...

This is like Community Board Christmas. Racism, homelessness, mental illness and gun violence in America all wrapped up in one thread (expertly done by the way.) I predict much lecturing, bravado and virtue signaling prior to closure.

 

[MamaMermaid]

This is like Community Board Christmas. Racism, homelessness, mental illness and gun violence in America all wrapped up in one thread (expertly done by the way.) I predict much lecturing, bravado and virtue signaling prior to closure.

Right? It's a one stop shop!

 

[RoseGold]

For the most part there was no physical danger. But my sensibilities don't include just walking away from a clearly racist remark against someone who did nothing wrong. I'm actually feeling kind of bad for using that kind of language around my child, but not for chewing out a lowlife who was clearly out of line. The strange thing is that I was even considering giving this guy some snack foods before I entered, but I had removed my stash from my bag.

The first rule of self-defense is to avoid and de-escalate. You put yourself and your children at more risk by escalating the situation and making yourself a target.

 

[Jangles]

This is like Community Board Christmas. Racism, homelessness, mental illness and gun violence in America all wrapped up in one thread (expertly done by the way.) I predict much lecturing, bravado and virtue signaling prior to closure.

By discussing issues and sharing opinions, we consider and learn. There is nothing to be afraid of.

 

[FQLover]

The anti-Asian harassment and even murder going on in our country since the advent of Covid is horrifying. I understand your angrily standing up to it, maybe to model to your kid how racism is just completely wrong and should be called out. But I do understand why other folks here are concerned that you could have been attacked yourself in that situation. It is hard to know what to do in the moment.

As a parent in a trans-racial family, I probably would have done just what you did, though.

 

[bcla]

I, unfortunately, due to past history, would not interfere. That doesn't mean I condone the act.

Over the years, I've offered food to several people asking for money to buy food. At least five times, I've been yelled at for actually giving food and not money. I have also been physically attacked by a mentally ill person who ran up behind me and punched me in my back so hard, all while yelling "all Jews must die." I was just walking to pick up my kids from elementary school and happened to be wearing a small Star of David necklace that must have set him off.

If I don't engage, I typically ignore panhandlers. This was just something that I found so patently offensive that I felt an obligation to say something. My experience with panhandlers is that they've rarely been confrontational with me or anyone else. Also - I wasn't quite sure how he thought that yelling at someone to go back to China was going to help him given that he's asking for handouts.

 

[princesscinderella]

Last time I was in San Francisco about 5 years ago we saw two pan handlers get into a fight with each other because they were arguing about which one was going to beg from us . It was down by fisherman’s wharf.

 

[rlk]

If I don't engage, I typically ignore panhandlers. This was just something that I found so patently offensive that I felt an obligation to say something. My experience with panhandlers is that they've rarely been confrontational with me or anyone else. Also - I wasn't quite sure how he thought that yelling at someone to go back to China was going to help him given that he's asking for handouts.

I understand how you felt. I think for those of us living in a city with a large homeless population, we develop a sense of when we can engage and when to steer clear. I personally have opted to steer clear after being attacked.

 

[bcla]

The anti-Asian harassment and even murder going on in our country since the advent of Covid is horrifying. I understand your angrily standing up to it, maybe to model to your kid how racism is just completely wrong and should be called out. But I do understand why other folks here are concerned that you could have been attacked yourself in that situation. It is hard to know what to do in the moment.

As a parent in a trans-racial family, I probably would have done just what you did, though.

He was a rather pudgy looking guy in a wheelchair - the folding kind that's typically pushed. I'm not that spry any more, but I'm pretty sure that I could have outrun him and so could have my child. And as much as Oakland gets a bad rap for violent crime (mostly gang related), people look out for each other. It's been rare that I haven't felt safe. My worry isn't about violent crime, but more property crimes like smash and grabs.

I'm not even sure there was anything going on there other than nobody had offered him anything for maybe an hour and he somehow felt entitled. Everyone ignored him until he lashed out.

 

[CdnCarrie]

killed??

I’m with @ronandannette, it wouldn’t even really cross my mind to wonder if they had a weapon. I probably wouldn’t say anything, but I’d look over at the person who was the target and see visually if they were ok.

Really? In Winnipeg it would totally cross my mind. I worked in West Broadway for years and saw panhandlers daily. Rarely ever gave to them. But I do donate to charity like Winnipeg Harvest.
Sorry I would have said no and avoided contact.

 

[brockash]

It was kind of strange because I've seen all sorts of behavior before, but I really haven't seen anything like what I saw tonight.

My kid is enjoying Shake Shack now, and they have a BOGO offer on a ShackBurger until tomorrow. Our closest location is in Oakland in the rapidly gentrifying Uptown area, but it's still Oakland and can be rough around the edges.

There's this guy who seems to be homeless and in a wheelchair looking for handouts right in front of the Shake Shack entrance on the sidewalk. Kind of scruffy with a white beard. As people are going in he's asking for people to bring him something to eat. As people are exiting the door he's asking where the food is that he asked for. Most are ignoring him as is typical. Most panhandlers are used to it.

We're waiting a while since they're really busy with all sorts of orders - especially from food delivery services, so it's taking a while. We're enjoying it and it's a fun, lively atmosphere. I think some LGBT pride event finished as there seemed to be a few drag queens grabbing dinner and everyone is getting along fabulously. We're enjoying our meal but it's time to go home.

As we exit, he's asking various people exiting "Where's my cheeseburger?" But then he focuses on one guy who looks to be of east Asian ancestry and then asks him. When he walks away, he yells at him "Go back to China!" I saw the guy he confronted inside and I'll just say I don't think he was born in China and most definitely was not someone who didn't belong there. But I don't really care how hungry this homeless guy is, and I yell at him "What the *$*# is your problem?" I'm not usually like that in public, but made an exception for this lowlife. He's about to confront me then but I can just walk away faster than he can approach me in his chair. I'm not usually that confrontational, but this idiot just drove me into responding.

It did occur to me that maybe he has a weapon, perhaps just a knife. But the thing is that that I've been to Oakland many times and have never, ever seen anything like this. People tend to mind their own business, or otherwise just get along regardless of background. I wasn't sure if this guy could be removed from the street by police for disturbing the peace or something. Not that Oakland Police has the time for it, but I've been in a neighboring city where I've seen police remove panhandlers who were blocking the street and/or being obnoxious to people who wouldn't give money. Over the years I've seen regular panhandlers who were exceedingly polite and would never yell at anyone who failed to to give a handout.

In that situation I'd assume he was not all there mentally. I'd maybe say something to the person he was yelling at just to make sure he was fine and that he knows I think the guys an idiot, but I always say there's no winning with crazy.

 

[brockash]

Maybe the asian guy aid something to the wheelchair guy on his way in? Maybe, get a job you bum and buy your own food, or something similar? Maybe wheelchair guy was retaliating, who knows.

As for WWYD? I'd probably mind my own business and keep going. Other than some hateful words, it wouldn't cause me to interject into someone else's conversation. If something was said like that directly to me, my wife, my son or the party I'm with, then absolutely I would say something.

Ummmm....even if the other guy did say something rude to him walking in, no justification for the guy to throw around racial comments.

I agree, walk way, but wanted to let you know your first paragraph comes off like you think there's ever a justifiable reason to make racial slurs. I'm assuming you didn't mean to come off that way.

 

[prairie_girl]

Really? In Winnipeg it would totally cross my mind. I worked in West Broadway for years and saw panhandlers daily. Rarely ever gave to them. But I do donate to charity like Winnipeg Harvest.
Sorry I would have said no and avoided contact.

I lived in West Broadway for 12 years, granted that was 10 years ago, but I’m still in the area occasionally. Maybe I’m too naïve to not assume they’re armed.

 

[TAX GUY]

Ummmm....even if the other guy did say something rude to him walking in, no justification for the guy to throw around racial comments.

I agree, walk way, but wanted to let you know your first paragraph comes off like you think there's ever a justifiable reason to make racial slurs. I'm assuming you didn't mean to come off that way.

No, didn't mean it that way at all, not justifying it. Just thought maybe the guy was provoked and tried to "get back at him" for rude comments (it was just a guess).

 

[bcla]

No, didn't mean it that way at all, not justifying it. Just thought maybe the guy was provoked and tried to "get back at him" for rude comments (it was just a guess).

Why would you even think that in the first place? Almost everyone was just ignoring him.