WWYD... School related...

[luvsmickeymouse]

Do you really want to send a 16-17 year old off to college in 10 years? Don't have her skip a grade. It is rarely a good idea. Although academically she may be ahead of the class, most likely, socially - she is very much a first grader. Later on when the other kids are hitting puberty and going to dances with boys, and she wants to still play with dolls, you won't have done any favors for her. It is better to keep her with the kids her age, and just supplement her learning at home. Have her do book reports for you and read books on her level - etc. It is ok if school is easy for her.

I was exactly where you are 8 years ago with my 9th grader. It was making me crazy that he was so far beyond everyone. I wanted him to skip a grade and the principal sat me down and told me the things I just said and it made sense. Also, if she likes sports - later on you are not doing her any favors when she is the youngest and most likely smallest girl trying out for Varsity- and she she gets cut, but since she is a junior, she can't play JV. Also, applying to colleges she will present as less mature than the competition. I am from Baltimore - and actually in Baltimore people put their kids in private schools so they can hold them back a year (or two) even when the kid doesn't need to be held back because they have figured out that a 19 year old senior has a huge jump on the competition for college for sports, and maturity then the 17 and 18 year old seniors. Your daughter being smart and at age level is a GOOD thing later on. Why would you want to bump her up to blend in with others and not be so special, when you can leave her where she is and have her shine above everyone? When considering skipping grades, many things things need to be considered, not just academics.

My son was tested in 1st grade and tested on a 12th grade reading level. (The only reason he didn't test higher was because the test only tested up to a 12th grade level and he didn't get any questions wrong on the test) I am not kidding. He is a true genius. He started the Harry Potter series on his own at age 4. I never had him skip a grade, because socially - he was very much a 1st grader.

It all just works out. If he had a book report in 3rd grade and the other kids were doing it on age appropriate books like "Flat Stanley" or a Magic Treehouse book or something similar...he did the same report, but did it on Tolkein's The Hobbit. I just made sure he had materials at home that challenged him...but school has always been a very stress free and happy place for him. It all works out as they get older. First of all - the gap narrows...the other kids do catch up - no matter how smart your kids is. They top out at some level and over the years the others catch up some. My boy is probably still at the top of his class - but not by as far as he was in first grade. Also when they are older you do have more opportunity for more challenging courses.

So, anyway it's just my opinion and advice...but chill out. As long as you daughter is happy - let her be a kid and thank the Lord school isn't a struggle for her. If her homework is easy for her...great! More time to go to extracurriculars like dance class and sports rather than sweating over homework. Believe me, when she is a teenager and you will laugh that you even worried about this.

This is a great post! Especially the part where it says let her be a kid and thank the Lord school isn't a struggle for her.

 

[meriface11]

i second that you need to seriously consider before skipping her a grade. i was put into G&T in 2nd grade, transferred schools in 3rd, and their solution to my advanced reading was to put me in the 4th grade reading class. a few kids from my montessori pre-K skipped kindergarten or 1st, and i guess i was being considered, but my parents decided against for social reasons. as a summer baby, i was already younger than most of my class as the cutoff was Oct. 1 in NJ, and they didn't want me to be almost 2 years younger than most of my classmates. while i was always in advanced classes throughout school, i would agree that things tend to get harder once you start getting into the higher grades and things start evening out. plus, it was hard enough being one of the youngest kids in the class--last to drive (last to reach legal drinking age ), i can't even imagine being another full year behind my classmate.

 

[paysensmom]

Thank you all for your insights. I definitely needed that

I am not going to push for her to be moved ahead. She is very much socially a first grader. She has an older brother she plays with all of the time, but she is at a 6 year old maturity level. She was born in July, so she is already one of the youngest in her grade.
We have talked to her teacher and she told us she would give her extra things to do, but we have not seen ANY evidence of this. I know teachers work extremely hard. Tust me. I am a certified teacher!
I would like to see her challenging my daughter more. Initially I thought this teacher would be a great fit because this is her first year teaching first grade. She has taught third grade for 17 years.

 

[mum4jenn]

My Dd was tested for gifted in Kindergarten and started the program in 1st grade which is very rare. There were only 3 1st grade kids at her school in gifted for 1st grade. Even though she tested far above her grade level I never pushed to have her skip a grade even though she would have done fine since she had a late birthday and had she been born 5 days earlier she would have been in the next highest grade anyway.

Regardless of how smart they are they still need to grow in other ways and I did not feel the need to push her to grow up faster than she needed to. I am a big believer in "fate" and I think the things she has experienced so far were meant to be and had she been in a higher grade she would have missed those opportunities. She has some wonderful close friends and had she moved up a grade she would not have those amazing friends.

 

[Cooky]

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[Tooth Fairy]

Talulabelle is right on the money. Make sure she is socially happy and fitting in.

 

[paysensmom]

It's interesting that your daughter's public school day is eight hours a day and not the average of six hours more or less.

Somes kids start out seemingly very advanced, they're good at reading and elementary math, but as time goes on the difference between them and their peers diminishes. Advanced mathematics may not come so easily. When writing is added to language acquisition, they may not be as advanced as they were with reading.

Give it a little time. If she is truly gifted, it won't go anywhere. She is learning more in school than just reading, writing and mathematics. I don't think she should skip a grade so young. Let her enjoy her childhood, don't get so focused on academics that it overrides everything else, including her social development.

I was actually going from the time she leaves to the time she gets back home. I just see it as her being gone for 8 hours and it seems like such a waste when I can teach her WAY more in MUCH less time. I have homeschooled my son in the past and I truly enjoyed it. I am three months pregnant right now and don't want to really start homeschooling them again only to have to break whenever I have the baby. Plus, there are some other reasons as others have mentioned that I want them to go to school. This would be an entire different topic though.
Once again, I appreciate everyones input! Thanks!

 

[torinsmom]

Thank you all for your insights. I definitely needed that

I am not going to push for her to be moved ahead. She is very much socially a first grader. She has an older brother she plays with all of the time, but she is at a 6 year old maturity level. She was born in July, so she is already one of the youngest in her grade.
We have talked to her teacher and she told us she would give her extra things to do, but we have not seen ANY evidence of this. I know teachers work extremely hard. Tust me. I am a certified teacher!
I would like to see her challenging my daughter more. Initially I thought this teacher would be a great fit because this is her first year teaching first grade. She has taught third grade for 17 years.

I would meet with the teacher again to make sure you are on the same wavelength about what your daughter is working on. Maybe she is working hard to get the other kids to be more independent. I know it takes awhile for me to get the kids settled before I can really begin to challenge the more advanced kids. We are just starting to get to that point now. That doesn't mean they aren't learning anything. I have some who are "in charge" of a preK, basically helping them with their numbers, colors, etc. They are learning to be good role models and how good it feels when you help someone else learn.

 

[ctinct]

I may be in the minority here, but I see nothing wrong with skipping a grade IF all the conditions are right. I think the social piece is huge, and I would wait to see if the child continues to be ahead of the game in a few years before making any decision. A child who does well in first grade can still struggle later on. That said, my older daughter did skip a grade, but it was the school that broached the subject. My daughter had been going to the reading class in the grade above her own for several years, so she knew the kids she was joining. (She skipped fourth.) However, she was a January baby, which meant that she had waited a year to start kinder, so she was somewhat older than some of her grade level peers. Our district's cut-off to start kindergarten is December 31, and they will not budge. I knew she was ready for kindergarten; they would not let her start early. It would have been easier than skipping her, but I understood the district's position. But, to reiterate, the age and social thing is huge. The biggest obstacle we faced wasn't with sports or anything; it was the fact that she could not get her driver's license until much later than her friends. Boy, did that make her mad!

As it turned out, she finished college in three years, and had just turned twenty a few months before graduation. She doesn't regret skipping in elementary school, but she does wish she had stayed in college for four years. She missed out on too much fun.

 

[PEANUT1]

I agree about not skipping a grade. It can be very a very hard transition for kids..Since your daughter is already young for her grade she would be 2 years younger than alot of her school peers...there is huge difference in 2 years. My sister graduated high school right after her 17th birthday and she still tells us how hard it was for her being so young...all of her friends were driving well before her.

I think that it is important however to keep your daughter busy...bored kids tend to get into trouble

 

[Leajess99]

I will never understand the concept of "either/or" when parents decide about homeschooling/public school. If you have the time, why not teach your daughter after school has ended? Music lessons, trips to the local museums, get her started in several new languages on the computer, whatever. By this time next year, she will be able to skip a year; but she will have learned new material and acquired important social skills.

I am a public high school teacher and "homeschool" should happen all the time, regardless of where the child is enrolled.

This is what we do. My daughter attends public school and then comes home and wants more. She loves learning and always asks for more worksheets. She can also do multiplication and is above grade level in all areas. My middle one was the same way but I will not let them skip a grade. My middle one already is one of the youngest in her current grade and letting her skip a grade would have been a nightmare for her. Imagine having a 17 year old the first full year of college and in our state they are on a tiered driver's license until 18 which means she could not drive between midnight and 6am, she could not have more than 1 non-related individual under 21 in the car with her, etc. Looking at the long term for us was what made our final decision to not skip a grade.

Why not talk to the school about letting her do 2nd grade Math?? Reading requires much more than just the books. My youngest is in 2nd grade and they are learning contractions (I forgot there were so many contractions out there) as well as many other necessary skills for reading, writing, and English.

There are many ways to supplement and even if you feel she is not learning anything at school, she may very well be. Is she disruptive in the class?? Do you really want her to skip ahead?? How will that affect her down the line?? These are all thing you really need to consider.

My youngest and middle one's old school had the Math broken down by groups so those struggling were with their peers, those on level with their peers, and those advanced with their peers.

 

[alb252]

Where I agree with most people posting that school is about more than just book learning and that socialization plays a big role, I also wish in my case that my parents had advanced me in school. I did not fit in well with my peers and always had older friends because that is where I felt comfortable. I was bored in my classes and found that I didn't try very hard when it came to homework. I strongly encourage everyone to consider what wil be most challenging to your child.

 

[Shelli_5]

I will never understand the concept of "either/or" when parents decide about homeschooling/public school. If you have the time, why not teach your daughter after school has ended? Music lessons, trips to the local museums, get her started in several new languages on the computer, whatever. By this time next year, she will be able to skip a year; but she will have learned new material and acquired important social skills.

I am a public high school teacher and "homeschool" should happen all the time, regardless of where the child is enrolled.

I was a gifted kid who started school early & attended special advanced classes. I agree 100% with Tink-aholic. I also think many gifted kids need extra help from their parents to develop emotional & social skills, especially when they're younger than their classmates.

 

[Leajess99]

I also want to add to this discussion having seen children go into the gifted program early sometimes do not turn out to be actually "gifted" but just happen to know much for 1st grade. I have personally seen a child go into the full time gifted for 2nd grade.His mother pushed the testing & they gave in to her. Our schools usually do not like to do that. By the time this kid was entering middle school (end of 5th grade actually), he was going to Sylvin Learning Center for tutoring. He was not "gifted" after all and was falling behind in all of his grade level work.. This I believe is the reason that schools do not like doing the testing in first grade..

I know at my youngest dd's old school they even changed how the advanced Math groups were formed due to parents forcing the school to place their kids in them and then the frustration the kids had with the work. It was sad that some parents ruined it for many kids who were doing great. We have sinced moved schools so not sure what they are doing there now but I so love this new school. My youngest was pulled for GT (actually called talent pool since full GT is not until 3rd grade) last year in first grade because she needed more. She was in the same thing in Kindergarten at her old school. This girl loves school.

My middle one has been in advanced Math since 2nd grade and has been in talent pool than GT for that long as well. For the longest her teacher's did not know what to do with her and she helped some of her peers (much like my youngest is doing). She learned to do map reading on our many road trips. Their favorite trips are often to the Science museums. Their favorite by far is the St Louis one.

 

[foltzy]

DD teacher had decided to have DD (5) tested for Gifted. The school did an initial evaluation of her and decided that she qualified for the gifted program. They have also decided to bring in the schools psychologist to give an full IQ test. Until then they are supplementing her education in school and she comes home everyday saying that she wants me to give her problems to work on.

My husband and I have decided that we will not be moving her up a grade at this point. Not unless the psychologist can convince me that it'll be a good thing. I'm hoping that they can pull her for the classes that she excels at. Since she just started Kindergarten I don't want her away from her friends that she just made.

 

[disfan07]

I was the same way in first grade. I dont think you can really judge it in first grade. You said she can read at a 3rd/4th grade level, but can she comprehend at that level also? My brother was also reading above grade level but he wasnt comprehending it as well. His reading was above grade level but his comprehension was at grade level.

I read at a 4th grade level in first grade and I comprehending at about a 3rd/4th grade level. I tested into GT in 3rd grade (they dont test before 3rd grade) adn I did GT for 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th.

Is she happy? Would she relaly be able to handle being in a grade higher than she is in now (especially socially). Personally, I dont think 1st grade is a good place to judge children with how far ahead of grade level they are. I think 3rd grade is about where that should start. I would leave her where she is and just work with her at home and see what happens next year. If she keeps gettign further adn further ahead of her peers than maybe you should do soemthing else but for now, 1st grade, i would say leave her where she is.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I agree with the other posts about letting your DD enjoy first grade and seeing what happens. My older DD is similar to yours - reading on a fifth grade level mid-way through first grade and multiplying in first grade. She still learned a lot of things that we hadn't thought to teach her, like estimating and measuring (she had measured some at home, but she learned a lot more in first grade). Her first-grade teacher gave her spelling words off the fifth grade list, so she was challenged in spelling (unfortunately, she wasn't challenged in spelling again until fifth grade).

In second grade, she tutored slower readers in her class and had them read out loud to her. It gave her an appreciation that each child is good at something different.

My DD is already young compared to her peers, and she needed first grade socially to mature. She is in sixth grade now and has been in the gifted program since 3rd grade, but she did receive AIG (gifted) services in second grade although the official determination is in third grade. She still makes all A+ in every subject, but she is learning, and we teach her other things at home. She is where she needs to be socially, and I can make up the rest of it here. There are plenty of opportunities for learning at school and at home, and as others have said, DD was able to pick the books that were on her reading level and do book reports, projects and presentations on those.

My younger DD is reading just above grade level in second grade, but she smokes her sister in recalling math facts. She was figuring out square roots in first grade by using guess and check as a strategy - she apparently got that from her dad. Every kid has a different gift, and even those who are gifted can learn so much from those around them. If your DD is happy and relates well to her peers, I'd let her be and do some enrichment at home. The day is not wasted just because she is advanced compared to the other first graders.

 

[riley2008]

I didn't read through all the posts - only most of the the first two pages.

I can totally relate! We're in Texas too; however I work in education and knew a few things to ask for.

My boys were in a public Montessori school until this year. One is way more advanced academically than the other, but both above 1st grade level.

I did have them tested this year to move on to 2nd. They qualified hands down. We chose not to send them on. Instead, they have alternate spelling words from the second grade G/T class. They not only have to spell them, but use them correctly in a sentence. (Sentence test on Thursday, spelling test on Friday.) They also have challenge words. (I have no idea where the teacher gets these, but wow they are hard. They aren't penalized and they don't get extra points.)

The boys also go to the second grade class for their 2nd grade math enrichment time. They are with the highest second grade group. It's the "tier" time - students are ability grouped to work on their weaknesses or build their strengths. (Most schools tend to give busy work to the average to advanced kids during this time to focus on the kids falling behind.) Yes, there was some slight shifting of schedules/lunches by 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there. It's working beautifully!

I do still get aggrevated with the teacher's inability to "differentiate instruction" but she's getting better. (I'm guessing she doesn't like me, but I'm sure she is learning a lot. Like asking her to require more than two lines in their daily journal and then complaining that DS1 was interrupting her to get something to do. Last year they had to write multiple paragraphs on a topic or several days. Getting great things back now and she is feeling comfortable with giving them higher expectations.)

That said, my boys have learned a few concepts in 1st that they wouldn't have otherwise. For the most part, they love going to school and feel successful at it. I can keep them challenged too and teach them good study habits.

Oh, and G/T in Texas is crazy - applications typically due around 10/1-10/15, start testing and acquiring work samples and building the portfolio in November and December. Acceptance notices sent end of January - with 2-3 weeks for parents to accept or decline. Services begin after spring break or the following school year. (IMHO - unless it's a G/T or really good teachers, the G/T program can either just be extra work or extra "fun" activities 1-2 times per week. Haven't seen any significant benefits in 4 districts that I work with from 2A-5A rated other than the junior high or high school level classes or a g/t elementary campus.)

Good luck! We fretted for about three weeks over what to do. Schedule a conference with the principal.

 

[KAA1972]

Thank you all for your insights. I definitely needed that

I am not going to push for her to be moved ahead. She is very much socially a first grader. She has an older brother she plays with all of the time, but she is at a 6 year old maturity level. She was born in July, so she is already one of the youngest in her grade.
We have talked to her teacher and she told us she would give her extra things to do, but we have not seen ANY evidence of this. I know teachers work extremely hard. Tust me. I am a certified teacher!
I would like to see her challenging my daughter more. Initially I thought this teacher would be a great fit because this is her first year teaching first grade. She has taught third grade for 17 years.

What about an academically challenging private school?? If it's not in your budget, check to see if she will qualify for scholarships? It's worth checking out -- doesn't mean it will be the right fit for you -- but it doesn't hurt to check. Private schools aren't always better than public but there is sometimes a smaller teacher to student ratio which means the teacher might have more time to dedicate to giving her more challenging assignments.

Best of luck in your decision!!

 

[paysensmom]

I was the same way in first grade. I dont think you can really judge it in first grade. You said she can read at a 3rd/4th grade level, but can she comprehend at that level also? My brother was also reading above grade level but he wasnt comprehending it as well. His reading was above grade level but his comprehension was at grade level.

I read at a 4th grade level in first grade and I comprehending at about a 3rd/4th grade level. I tested into GT in 3rd grade (they dont test before 3rd grade) adn I did GT for 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th.

Is she happy? Would she relaly be able to handle being in a grade higher than she is in now (especially socially). Personally, I dont think 1st grade is a good place to judge children with how far ahead of grade level they are. I think 3rd grade is about where that should start. I would leave her where she is and just work with her at home and see what happens next year. If she keeps gettign further adn further ahead of her peers than maybe you should do soemthing else but for now, 1st grade, i would say leave her where she is.

When I say reading at a 3/4th grade level. The comprehension is exactly what I mean! Of course she CAN read at a much higher level, but not with comprehension. My son is in third grade and my daughter can do almost every worksheet for homework he brings home. I actually make a copy and let them both do the homework for that day. Yesterday she did a worksheet on nouns and what the word changes to if there is more than one. Like changing woman to women etc... The only one she got wrong was mouse, she put mouses!