WWYD... School related...

[PiperPizzaz]

Please go here:
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/

Also, Hoagies does have some good articles regarding skipping. It is always a tough decision. I think the best thing I have realized is that with GAT kids you really have to do what is right and works for this year or even the next six months.

 

[taximomfor4]

My oldest dd is in college now. She was grade-skipped mid-way through 2nd grade. We took her to many psychologists for all kinds of testing/insight/etc...including one who is nationally reknowned. In the end, it was the right thing to do FOR DD. Her personality especially contributed to the rightness. She is old enough to drive now but STILL doesn't...wants extra money toward college, instead of extra bills toward insurance, etc. She is at community college this year, and hopes to attend an out of town university next year. Most of her classmates never knew she was younger, she avoided mentioning it. She wasn't short, and matured a tad early so never stood out in that way. But most of all, her personality. She was never very social. In a social situation, she does fine. But she tends to choose to stay home reading or hanging with family, rather than going out with friends. She was one of the few freshmen asked to homecoming (not the norm in her high school)...and she did attend. However, she never saw the point of going to future homecoming dances or even prom. She LOVED high school though.

She doesn't consider ANY trends (clothing, haircuts, etc). Peer pressure is so NOT an issue with her, sometimes we wish she would go with the flow just a LITTLE more, but that just isn't how she is.

The reason we kept her home for community college was because we weren't sure, at application time, if she'd be "ready" to move into a dorm somewhere. Now that she is still home and in college, I know she would have been perfectly fine away at school. Oh well, she gets another year home, and pays less for her freshman year of college.

Anyway, just wanted to say that grade skipping CAN work out. And IMO, it depends greatly on the child if there will be social problems arising from it.

Another thing to think about : middle dd was a waaaaaaay advanced student until 4th grade. Then, there came some kind of difficulty. Now in 7th grade, we are still trying desperately to figure out why she is struggling so much. Something in the curriculum changes, and being a very advanced reader doesn't remain enough anymore.

I think, OP, you are a wonderful mother for thinking so hard about this. Some would jump at it just for bragging rights. Others would poo-poo it just because of not being able to drive when their classmates do (the negative we were told ad nauseum). You are taking in ideas, advice, and experiences and THINKING!!!

 

[ceecee]

My DD was reading 4th grade level in Kindergarden and 12th by 6th grade. Also tested well above average. Our school didn't move kids until 2nd grade and then never skipped grades just changed to a gifted program (they did change schools though). At the advice of a close friend who was a teacher we kept her at her school and she did advanced classes. A lot of kids catch up around 4th grade and we have never regretted keeping her in the school with her friends and in our neighorhood. 16 is way to young to graduate in my opinion and she does need to develop social skills as well. My best friend in HS didn't drive until senior year because she skipped a grade.

 

[StephMK]

I agree that skipping can be a great idea if the circumstances are right. DS skipped 1st & I don't regret it at all, even though he was at the younger end of the grade already. I think it was easier that he skipped early on.

Yes, he lost his K friends but has good friends in his new grade now. Yes, he will be driving later & attending school earlier, but we live in a college town. We will just deal with the social issues as they come up. He's a very confident, speak his own mind type of kid so that helps even though his maturity is mixed in some areas.

He is closer to where he needs to be academically though he is still not very challenged in many areas. It would be great to think that all kids can be differentiated in their classrooms, but it doesn't always work out that way. It takes him only a few practices to pick up new skills & he still fusses about worksheets because he has already learned the material.

Acceleration can be successful & I'm not sure why so many people are against it. The academic part of the day is much larger than the social part, which can be learned at any grade level. I did not want him to have to sit in a class learning nothing. Afterschooling is great but why should that be the only time they learn, just so they can appear "normal" but completely bored?

 

[stm61]

I didn't read all 3 pages so this might have already been suggested, why don't you keep her in 1st grade but ask to have her sent up to 2nd for reading and/or math? I've seen that done with great results. The child gets to spend most of her day with her own class, but is challenged more by doing work at a higher grade level.

 

[zoemurr]

My oldest dd is in college now. She was grade-skipped mid-way through 2nd grade. We took her to many psychologists for all kinds of testing/insight/etc...including one who is nationally reknowned. In the end, it was the right thing to do FOR DD. Her personality especially contributed to the rightness. She is old enough to drive now but STILL doesn't.... She was never very social. In a social situation, she does fine. But she tends to choose to stay home reading or hanging with family, rather than going out with friends. She doesn't consider ANY trends (clothing, haircuts, etc). Peer pressure is so NOT an issue with her, sometimes we wish she would go with the flow just a LITTLE more, but that just isn't how she is.

Anyway, just wanted to say that grade skipping CAN work out. And IMO, it depends greatly on the child if there will be social problems arising from it.

I think, OP, you are a wonderful mother for thinking so hard about this. Some would jump at it just for bragging rights. Others would poo-poo it just because of not being able to drive when their classmates do (the negative we were told ad nauseum). You are taking in ideas, advice, and experiences and THINKING!!!

Wow.. I think my DD is the younger "twin" to yours. It's hard for me to read all the "skip" bashing 'cause it was really the only decision for us too. Besides being 5-6years advanced she was/is very tall, and mature. She was very embarassed by her abilities when she was younger, and still is to a point. At age 5/6 when she realized that the other kids couldn't do what she could she was totally dumbing herself down. She refused to answer questions or read books in front of the other children. We moved her up toward the end of K (after a lot of testing and research) and it took months to get my confident little girl back.

Middle school is going fine so far. She has been advanced 2 more years in math with a small group of 7th graders and she is in a small honors ELA class. Socially she has a few close friends but does fine in groups. I don't think many kids know she is younger, although it does come up from time to time. She has conditioned me years ago not to discuss it.

I know we still have a way to go, but at this point we have no regrets. She knows she will be allowed to take a year off before college if she chooses to do something productive, but I have a strong feeling that she won't.

Good luck! I know it's a hard decision, and of course when you take one road you never know how the other one might have played itself out.

 

[bethy]

You need HoagiesGifted.com Lots of information specific to your state about gifted education. Find out if your state has a GATE mandate, and what you can ask for from the school district. Lots of information about the pros/cons of all kinds of gifted options, including grade skips. There are links to message boards, etc.

Ditto re Hoagiesgifted.com It is a wonderful site. Being Gifted is actually a special need and it smart of you to act quickly and to follow your instincts that she can't just sit in a classroom hour after hour, day after day, year after year and be literally bored out her mind the entire time. That is a recipe for disaster. IF, IF she is miserable in school right now then I'd pull her out and homeschool her until another options becomes available - whether through public or private schooling.

 

[allyphoe]

It's hard for me to read all the "skip" bashing 'cause it was really the only decision for us too.

Same here. After seeing how well DD is doing as a 3rd grader, I can't imagine having put her in 2nd. She's doing better socially with the older group of kids, as well as academically.

That said, skipping was her idea - and yes, after hearing her lay out her reasons for wanting the skip, we did choose to follow her lead. (She also worked her tail off to pass the testing, choosing math practice over television during summer vacation. This was not a passing fancy, but a desperate desire for more-challenging work.) There is absolutely no way I would skip a kid who was not enthusiastic about it.

 

[Mary•Poppins]

Do you really want to send a 16-17 year old off to college in 10 years? Don't have her skip a grade. It is rarely a good idea. Although academically she may be ahead of the class, most likely, socially - she is very much a first grader. Later on when the other kids are hitting puberty and going to dances with boys, and she wants to still play with dolls, you won't have done any favors for her. It is better to keep her with the kids her age, and just supplement her learning at home. Have her do book reports for you and read books on her level - etc. It is ok if school is easy for her.

I was exactly where you are 8 years ago with my 9th grader. It was making me crazy that he was so far beyond everyone. I wanted him to skip a grade and the principal sat me down and told me the things I just said and it made sense. Also, if she likes sports - later on you are not doing her any favors when she is the youngest and most likely smallest girl trying out for Varsity- and she she gets cut, but since she is a junior, she can't play JV. Also, applying to colleges she will present as less mature than the competition. I am from Baltimore - and actually in Baltimore people put their kids in private schools so they can hold them back a year (or two) even when the kid doesn't need to be held back because they have figured out that a 19 year old senior has a huge jump on the competition for college for sports, and maturity then the 17 and 18 year old seniors. Your daughter being smart and at age level is a GOOD thing later on. Why would you want to bump her up to blend in with others and not be so special, when you can leave her where she is and have her shine above everyone? When considering skipping grades, many things things need to be considered, not just academics.

My son was tested in 1st grade and tested on a 12th grade reading level. (The only reason he didn't test higher was because the test only tested up to a 12th grade level and he didn't get any questions wrong on the test) I am not kidding. He is a true genius. He started the Harry Potter series on his own at age 4. I never had him skip a grade, because socially - he was very much a 1st grader.

It all just works out. If he had a book report in 3rd grade and the other kids were doing it on age appropriate books like "Flat Stanley" or a Magic Treehouse book or something similar...he did the same report, but did it on Tolkein's The Hobbit. I just made sure he had materials at home that challenged him...but school has always been a very stress free and happy place for him. It all works out as they get older. First of all - the gap narrows...the other kids do catch up - no matter how smart your kids is. They top out at some level and over the years the others catch up some. My boy is probably still at the top of his class - but not by as far as he was in first grade. Also when they are older you do have more opportunity for more challenging courses.

So, anyway it's just my opinion and advice...but chill out. As long as you daughter is happy - let her be a kid and thank the Lord school isn't a struggle for her. If her homework is easy for her...great! More time to go to extracurriculars like dance class and sports rather than sweating over homework. Believe me, when she is a teenager and you will laugh that you even worried about this.

This is GREAT advice. I would really think about it. I used to teach first grade for 10 years ... and sometimes children come into school very bright, but that doesn't mean they are bored? Is she happy ....

I have an extremely bright son also. He literally taught himself how to read at the age of 3. He in in high school and has a very challenging course load. He is happy and is, at this point #1 in his class. Now, being smart in high school also has its draw backs and I would NEVER want a child who is young to have to deal with the social situations that surround being a bright child (they will eat her alive .. JMO) Would you want to home school her or pull her out of high school when she emotionally and socially might not be able to cope?

And just something else to consider ... when you are at work, do you know who the gifted people are? I don't. Learning to work with all people is part of life and this has to happen early for children who are gifted. They need to learn how to "contain" their smartness at times in order to conform to what is socially acceptable. Can a young child in high school do this? I personally don't think so.

Feel blessed that you have a child that is bright and good luck with your decision.

 

[SILLYANDI]

At this age, at any age, social skills are just as important as academic skills. Sure, she might be ready to do 2nd grade work (I know all of mine were in first - they knew everything going in), but are put with kids their own reasons, regardless of academic ability, for a reason. I know many very bright children, but never heard of anyone skipping a grade.

I agree with this 100%!
Let me share my experience. I started Kinder early. I skipped 3rd grade. I started high school at 12 years old. I didn't belong there. I could do the work (and faster/better then the 14-15 year olds) but I was NOT ready emotionally or socially. I started college at 16. I didn't belong there. Don't get me wrong, I had TONS of friends, was a cheerleader, student council member and actively participated in social activities, but I was also exposed to stuff that no 12 year old should be- and no matter how happy and well adjusted on the outside, I was a mess on the inside and very angry. I am 37 now and it took a long time for me to come to terms with my parents for their decision to fight the school and force them to skip me.
I was smart enough, but I was not mature enough. I missed some really important social lessons during the time that they were so focused on me "not being bored" or "needing more challenges" etc. All those things that parents say to push their kids harder. I had days where I was bored but I also had days where teachers took the extra time to engage me in activities that were more challenging in class, yet allowed me to still interact with peers- that was BEFORE my parents made such a big deal out of me being smart.

My own four kids are all GATE students. They could easily do the classwork of a grade or two higher then where they are, but I don't think that is where they belong.They were all reading at the 5th grade level by first grade, all but the oldest were self taught. For me, it is more important that my kids are well adjusted socially and HAPPY. I would NEVER request that my kids be skipped. In the real world, being socially adept is much more of a predictor of success and happiness than intelligence. Do some reasearch, there is a ton of information regarding EQ or emotional intelligence.

I work together with my kids teachers to give them challenges in class. If it means I have to go to the school and make copies for the overworked teacher or research activities for them to do once they complete their classwork, then I do it. My kids' teachers have been great about keeping them busy and engaged, but it takes a dedicated parent who is willing to work WITH the teacher, not tell the teacher how to do his/her job.

My oldest is in middle school, the playing field is evening out for her. She is no longer the smartest kid in every class, especially in math. She actually has to work for her A's now. what's worse, she is learning life's lessons about mean girls and hormones! I KNOW how much harder it would be for her if I had pushed for her to be a grade older and going through this.

 

[EKW]

Do you have any magnet or charter schools in your area? I'm sure you could find one that has a focus that is not basic academics. In Colorado Springs there is a school with a theme based around China...all the students learn Chinese. Locally there is a school that is constructivist...as in, each child's lessons are tailored individually.

That way she would still be with children her own age. If she is physically larger and emotionally more mature she might deal well with skipping a grade, but the only person I know who did this was isolated in high school because she was significantly younger than her peers. It isn't a choice I'd make for my child.

On the other hand, who says she's not learning in her current setting? The work may be easier for her than other children, but surely she is being exposed to materials and techniques that she hasn't already experienced.

Is she unhappy? If not, I don't see this as a crisis. Just because the school wants to promote her doesn't mean you have to go along with it.

 

[twooley2]

By reading this I can not tell you how much this makes me think of the situation in which my daughter in the second grade was advised to be held back due to some reading problems and a few test grades. Now she is in the 8th grade way more mature than her classmates which can be a problem at times during teen years and gets straight A's all year in all classes and is in advanced placement classes.
Many Kids seem to all meet up at one time or another developmentally. Although I am glad she no longer struggles but now we have other issues such as being challenged enough now and her maturity level being almost too mature. Seems top of class or bottom there are always challenges so my advice would be leave well enough alone.

 

[Joy1619]

I agree with this 100%!
Let me share my experience. I started Kinder early. I skipped 3rd grade. I started high school at 12 years old. I didn't belong there. I could do the work (and faster/better then the 14-15 year olds) but I was NOT ready emotionally or socially. I started college at 16. I didn't belong there. Don't get me wrong, I had TONS of friends, was a cheerleader, student council member and actively participated in social activities, but I was also exposed to stuff that no 12 year old should be- and no matter how happy and well adjusted on the outside, I was a mess on the inside and very angry. I am 37 now and it took a long time for me to come to terms with my parents for their decision to fight the school and force them to skip me.
I was smart enough, but I was not mature enough. I missed some really important social lessons during the time that they were so focused on me "not being bored" or "needing more challenges" etc. All those things that parents say to push their kids harder. I had days where I was bored but I also had days where teachers took the extra time to engage me in activities that were more challenging in class, yet allowed me to still interact with peers- that was BEFORE my parents made such a big deal out of me being smart.

My own four kids are all GATE students. They could easily do the classwork of a grade or two higher then where they are, but I don't think that is where they belong.They were all reading at the 5th grade level by first grade, all but the oldest were self taught. For me, it is more important that my kids are well adjusted socially and HAPPY. I would NEVER request that my kids be skipped. In the real world, being socially adept is much more of a predictor of success and happiness than intelligence. Do some reasearch, there is a ton of information regarding EQ or emotional intelligence.

I work together with my kids teachers to give them challenges in class. If it means I have to go to the school and make copies for the overworked teacher or research activities for them to do once they complete their classwork, then I do it. My kids' teachers have been great about keeping them busy and engaged, but it takes a dedicated parent who is willing to work WITH the teacher, not tell the teacher how to do his/her job.

My oldest is in middle school, the playing field is evening out for her. She is no longer the smartest kid in every class, especially in math. She actually has to work for her A's now. what's worse, she is learning life's lessons about mean girls and hormones! I KNOW how much harder it would be for her if I had pushed for her to be a grade older and going through this.

Wow, I'm sorry this was so hard for you - clearly there are still unresolved feelings in the wings....

However, OP, as counterpoint, I skipped a grade (went from grade 2 before christmas to grade 3 after christmas) and I absolutely think it was the best decision that could have been made for me (my parents and the school board were in agreement on the move). Truly intelligent children tend to adapt socially to their surroundings, as do intelligent adults (keep in mind that 'academically gifted' and 'intelligent' are not necessarily the same things; intelligence also ecompasses social intelligence as well).

Only you know your daughter well enough to gauge her intellectual and social intelligence. I had wonderful experiences, felt that I 'belonged' everywhere I was, and was frankly ahead of my years anyways (and would have been just more so if I had not moved ahead a grade). My children are both extremely bright, but skipping isn't allowed within the school district any longer, which I think is a bit of a disservice to some kids. Gifted and advanced programs sometimes are not appropriate for everyone, and there should be an option.

Having said all that, I wish you the very best of luck with this decision, and perhaps in a year or more the decision will become more clear if your daughter continues to be more advanced than the classroom work; and I agree with you, it is very annoying to be in school and know everything that is being taught already, and yearning to move on or hear something new!

Best to you and your daughter!

 

[Hardy]

My daughter was just accelerated from k to 2nd grade, so thought I'd share our experience. First of all, if you seriously believe your child may benefit from skipping a full grade, talk to the school about the Iowa Acceleration Scale. This is what we used and in our case, we created a panel....the parents, the gifted coordinator, the principal, her teacher, and guidance counselor. It does not base skipping on academics only, but on many things, such as outside activities, size, sibling ages, just everything you could think of that would have an effect on skipping. It also require a full section to be graded by a psychologist. This was very expensive testing that the school covered completely.

First of all, my daughter was very unhappy in kindergarten. She was still well behaved, but lost her spark and love of learning, reading, everything. She was bored and working on things that were so ridiculously simple for her. Her teacher recognized she had some needs not being met and approached US about skipping.

The first step was gifted testing, which she got into the program, but there is no real enrichment for a kindergarten kid since it starts at 3rd grade , but it allowed her to get additional computer programs and other things in school to keep her busy. Then we started the skipping process. She spent the last 1/2 of k going to 1st grade for all core subjects, and that way she met a lot of kids and made the transition easier.

Her psychological testing, a comprehensive IQ test basically, there are different ones out there, not sure if it is the same for all on the IAS. Her IQ turned out to be extremely high, in the genius level, at age 6. The IAS then gives a recommendation as exceptional candidate, good candidate, marginal candidate, or whole-grade acceleration is not recommended....Hannah was exceptional candidate, so we feel it was a good way to make a very objective decision and in our case, it was better for her to skip. We also spoke to a parent who skipped around the same time, and her daughter is now a senior in high school, and what the experience was like for her. There are pros and cons to both.

My son is also very smart, but is NOT in the gifted program and certainly we would never skip him. His personality is such that it would detrimental to him. I don't think it makes him any less intelligent than his sister and he does very well in school doing grade level work. He spends his own free time working on extra science projects, and it works out well this way.

Hannah is known by all the teachers and most students as "the girl who skipped a grade".....she happens to eat up all the attention and is fine with it, but this could be something that a lot of kids would not like. I still worry about the tough things coming up, we try to treat her as if she is a year older for all things, but I will never be able to let her drive a car a year earlier, see an r rated movie a year earlier, all those age restricted things her friends will do without her. Social level so far is just fine, she came into k never napping, very independent, does not need hand holding and that was important for a successful skip. She also left behind all her k friends, but makes friends easily, so now she just has even more friends.

Now that I wrote a book, hopefully you can get a better idea of what is a good fit for your kid....i can't recommend the iowa acceleration scale enough....kids who are unsuccessful at skipping tend to just have a principal or teacher just say, ok, skip them...without thinking of all of the other things outside of academics. It is ALL so important, you want your kid to be happier, not more stressed, you know?

 

[DawnM]

This what I was going to suggest as well.

We even have a charter school here that is specifically for extremely gifted kids and starts in K. One has to test into it, but it is a great school. There are also several great magnet programs around.

There are also several private schools locally that focus on high achieving academically gifted students. If there is ANY way you can fund it, it might be worth it for her.

I would look at alternatives for her that will be more challenging and where she can be surrounded by those like her.

Dawn

Do you have any magnet or charter schools in your area? I'm sure you could find one that has a focus that is not basic academics. In Colorado Springs there is a school with a theme based around China...all the students learn Chinese. Locally there is a school that is constructivist...as in, each child's lessons are tailored individually.

That way she would still be with children her own age. If she is physically larger and emotionally more mature she might deal well with skipping a grade, but the only person I know who did this was isolated in high school because she was significantly younger than her peers. It isn't a choice I'd make for my child.

On the other hand, who says she's not learning in her current setting? The work may be easier for her than other children, but surely she is being exposed to materials and techniques that she hasn't already experienced.

Is she unhappy? If not, I don't see this as a crisis. Just because the school wants to promote her doesn't mean you have to go along with it.

 

[LizinSTL]

Sorry, it is a little long, but please keep with me.
My daughter is in first grade, we live in a very good school district. She is WAY above grade level. She attended a different school last year because I got a job in a different town. We had our parent teacher conference last week. They want to test her for G/T, but it wouldn't start until NEXT school year. If you are familiar with the testing of first grade, at least in Texas. She has taken the TPRI and passed all of the sections. This is the end of the year test to see if the kids learned what they needed to. She is reading at a
3rd/4th grade level and she can mulitply for math. She has an older brother and just picked up on this stuff. She is super smart. The problem is, she is not learning ANYTHING in school. I asked for her to be tested and placed in second grade. They told me that they would test in MAY for her to maybe skip a grade for NEXT year!!!

What should I do? I have thought about pulling her out and homeschooling her. But my husband says if I do that then I have to do it every year because she would just be in the same situation again and again. I was thinking I could homeschool her, teach her and let her take that test in May and start third grade next year. My husband also says if she skips a grade I am stealing a year of her childhood from her. I canNOT stand the fact that she is at school for 8 hours a day and is NOT learning. Please help me decide what is best for her.

There is way more to first grade than learning simple math and reading. The most important part of primary education, imo, is socialization.

I agree with your husband, don't pull her out. I wouldn't let my child skip a grade either UNLESS her birthday fell immediately after the age cut off and therefore she was essentially the same age as the youngest kids in the grade above her.

A good teacher will differentiate education so that your child still learns.
It's not uncommon for G/T to begin in the fall. It's also not uncommon to refrain from promoting students mid year. If you are certain that she needs to be enrolled in G/T immediately, contact the principal and ask for an exception to be made. Put it in writing.

I'd also caution you to not make a big deal of it. If you dd is extremely smart, then she'll pick up on your dissatifaction and it'll make it very difficult for her at school.

 

[fiveforall]

My son entered kindergarten knowing how to read, write, and do basic multiplication. Needless to say, he was tested for the gifted program and has been going since first grade. His teachers wanted to let him skip a grade or two, but he is soooooooo immature and small for his age. We instead worked closely with his teachers to develop an academic plan for him. He began going to the 3rd grade class for math in 1st grade and pretty much stayed with a 5th grade class for math and reading each year. Now he is in the 5th grade and is doing a distance learning algebra class. He's been lucky to have teachers that assign him extra projects so that he won't get bored. He is very social and loves his peer group. I am so glad we didn't let him skip a grade.

 

[StephMK]

And just something else to consider ... when you are at work, do you know who the gifted people are? I don't. Learning to work with all people is part of life and this has to happen early for children who are gifted. They need to learn how to "contain" their smartness at times in order to conform to what is socially acceptable. Can a young child in high school do this? I personally don't think so.

Feel blessed that you have a child that is bright and good luck with your decision.

I really don't mean to single you out and say this in the most respectful way but that "containing" statement bothers me on so many levels. DS passed the end of 1st grade math assessment at the end of K and reads at a much higher level. Was he supposed to review all that stuff in 1st just so he could keep his friends and "fit in"? I just can't follow the reasoning on that. He will just have to learn to deal with people at a younger age in HS.

He already has to work to fit in even in the older grade because most of his friends aren't interested in studying biology or learning the periodic table. Those are his interests but he has learned to adapt & also loves video games & books his friends read.

Yes, feel blessed for a bright kid but a gifted kid is different and brings its own set of challenges. This thread being a great example of the perceptions and opinions. I have a bright kid, she's easy, yes, it's a blessing. DS is gifted and has a whole set of his own issues. He was fully tested and had a psych eval by the school before he was skipped and they were the ones recommending it.

Gifted kids are challenging and shouldn't have to be held back from what they can accomplish just because it's socially more appropriate to "act your age". There are also dangers about the lack of challenge and how it can affect their long term achievements. The Nation Deceived (book) discusses this. There is research backing up the benefits of acceleration and the odd stigma attached to skipping grades when research has shown mostly positive results.

 

[angwill]

Sorry, it is a little long, but please keep with me.
My daughter is in first grade, we live in a very good school district. She is WAY above grade level. She attended a different school last year because I got a job in a different town. We had our parent teacher conference last week. They want to test her for G/T, but it wouldn't start until NEXT school year. If you are familiar with the testing of first grade, at least in Texas. She has taken the TPRI and passed all of the sections. This is the end of the year test to see if the kids learned what they needed to. She is reading at a
3rd/4th grade level and she can mulitply for math. She has an older brother and just picked up on this stuff. She is super smart. The problem is, she is not learning ANYTHING in school. I asked for her to be tested and placed in second grade. They told me that they would test in MAY for her to maybe skip a grade for NEXT year!!!

What should I do? I have thought about pulling her out and homeschooling her. But my husband says if I do that then I have to do it every year because she would just be in the same situation again and again. I was thinking I could homeschool her, teach her and let her take that test in May and start third grade next year. My husband also says if she skips a grade I am stealing a year of her childhood from her. I canNOT stand the fact that she is at school for 8 hours a day and is NOT learning. Please help me decide what is best for her.

Home school her after school and on weekends. Honestly, she has to be learning something it's not like a child in 1st grade knows everything there is to know even adults don't know everything.

 

[Leajess99]

Wow.. I think my DD is the younger "twin" to yours. It's hard for me to read all the "skip" bashing 'cause it was really the only decision for us too. Besides being 5-6years advanced she was/is very tall, and mature. She was very embarassed by her abilities when she was younger, and still is to a point. At age 5/6 when she realized that the other kids couldn't do what she could she was totally dumbing herself down. She refused to answer questions or read books in front of the other children. We moved her up toward the end of K (after a lot of testing and research) and it took months to get my confident little girl back.

Middle school is going fine so far. She has been advanced 2 more years in math with a small group of 7th graders and she is in a small honors ELA class. Socially she has a few close friends but does fine in groups. I don't think many kids know she is younger, although it does come up from time to time. She has conditioned me years ago not to discuss it.

I know we still have a way to go, but at this point we have no regrets. She knows she will be allowed to take a year off before college if she chooses to do something productive, but I have a strong feeling that she won't.

Good luck! I know it's a hard decision, and of course when you take one road you never know how the other one might have played itself out.

Honestly, I have yet to read anyone "skip bashing". Advice was given so that the OP can think about the future and not just the right now. My ex was grade skipped and graduated young. He had to have his mother sign a waiver for him to join the military and he has even decided that it is NOT in the best interest of OUR child to skip. He was one of the older kids in his grade whereas our middle DD is one of the youngest and has been all through school. She is in class with kids almost 2 years if not already 2 years older than her in some cases. Most kids are only a year older than her but some have been held back from starting on time and held back for whatever other reason. She is in the GT program as well as advanced in all subjects that offer advancement. Her GT covers all her classes and every year it is the same thing. We end up with the GT services plan within a couple of weeks of school. She has tested for the Explore test and will be taking the ACT (her choice between the ACT and SAT) in a couple of months. She has been given many options for aditional testing and programs and has been invited to many GT programs. Currently she is in a National math competition selected based off of her test scores (99th percentile for this state). So yes, I know what it is like to have a child who doesn't learn much at school but we have been able to do more for her at home.

I shared MY thoughts with the OP just as many others have shared their thoughts. Great that kids skip but what happens if they skip now and start struggling in in middle school and high school grades?? Skipping is not always a good thing and thus people are trying to help the OP really understand everything and not just the here and now. I don't want my kids taking a year off between high school and college as it makes it harder to go back to school (my own experience and that of many friends has helped me understand this). My kids have their tuition covered at any public college in the US and they know that it is in their best interest to use it. Oh and one of my son's friends got a full ride to Harvard because of his intelligence and his mother chose not to advance him a grade either. That kid is like my daughter and wicked smart. I am so very happy for him as his family could not afford college for him otherwise as his father is deceased and his mother is disabled. She did not want him being the youngest in his grade and the school system had him in advanced classes as well as GT.

So just because some choose not to let their kids skip a grade and share their thoughts with the OP does not mean anyone is "skip bashing". The OP has to make the final decision for her child but giving her the future to think about and not just the now will help her to better think about it. Some parents only think of the right now (not because they want to throw skipping a grade into someone's face but just because it is not something that always crosses one's mind).