WWYD? Leaving Daycare Money Issue

princessbride6205

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May 8, 2006
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I'm in need of opinions, as I'm really torn about what to do. The budget question is at the bottom, but I'll need to give a little back story first.
We decided to look for new daycare after we found out that our provider has been on Facebook all day while the kids are there. The quality of care has been slowly declining for months - more TV, fewer planned activities, no more crafts, stopped providing breakfast, etc. Cutting breakfast was supposed to be so they had more craft time. We've talked about the TV and there is always an excuse and a promise to watch less. So basically she is providing a low level of supervision while the kids do whatever they want.
This is a home daycare with 4 school-agers, my 2.5yo child, a 3yo boy, and the provider's own 2 preschoolers.

Back to the Facebook problem...
Our provider friended me on Facebook a few weeks ago. I didn't think anything of it until she started popping up in my news feed a lot. So I clicked on her name to see what else she's been posting. What caught my eye first was that she was posting lots of links and articles of what I would consider somewhat crazy political views. That made me a little uncomfortable, but I've known for awhile we don't share the same party affiliation, and didn't worry too much about it. Then I saw the time stamps on all these posts. It was about every 15 minutes during daycare hours. It still makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. I kept hitting the "Older Posts" link - and after spending an evening on that, only made it through 3 days worth. So this is definitely a pattern and not just one day. About 1/2 of her posts are about needing motivation and wanting her FB friends to send her jokes, and the other 1/2 are the far end of the spectrum political stuff.

We feel that this is beyond just talking to our current provider to fix. We'd like DD to be somewhere with a little more structure and a little more educational. So we did a whirlwind online search for a new place, called to see who had availability and went to 3 interviews last week. We decided on our new place and can set our start date any time between now and the end of April.

Now for the money/budget question...
We had to pay for our final 2 weeks when we started with this provider, so that in case we just left with no notice, she would already have that two weeks' pay. So I do not owe any money for leaving with no notice. However, we could still take DD there for the next two weeks without paying anything else. This would be a savings of $280 (140 per week).
In addition, our provider owes us for sick days she has taken. She/we keep a tab of the number of sick days she takes, and she's supposed to only charge us half price for those days. We've never cashed this out (stupid on our part, I know). We have online billing through a national childcare company, so there is the standing invoice and weekly amount deducted from our account. It is not simple to change this amount each time our provider takes a sick day, so that's why we decided to just keep track and be paid later. This should come out to about $140 as well. If I ask for this before I tell her we're leaving, she's going to try to just credit us. If I ask for this afterwards, I doubt I'll ever see the money.

Would you feel comfortable leaving your child in the current situation after giving 2 weeks notice? I don't think it's an unsafe environment, and I would hope the provider could be professional. I would tell her we were switching to a preschool, so maybe she wouldn't take it as badly? But I realize this may not be a good idea. Or should I just give up on the money already paid? (Not money related, but also still trying to figure out how honest I want to be when we leave.)
How would you handle the sick time reimbursement?

I don't want to just walk away from $420 (280 prepaid tuition, 140 sick time), but I'm having trouble figuring out a good way to handle this situation.
 
Sometimes in life it costs money to sleep well at night. IMO this is one of those situations. I would walk away immediately, and no I would not feel good leaving my child there after announcing we were leaving.
 
Sometimes in life it costs money to sleep well at night. IMO this is one of those situations. I would walk away immediately, and no I would not feel good leaving my child there after announcing we were leaving.

I completely agree with this! It's great advice.
 
I agree with the others I would take your child out now. Try and get the pay for the sick leave but I would not want my child there. Kids can do so much in so little time when not properly supervised. I also would not want to be hearing that the person watching my child is needing motivation while watching my child.
 

I agree with the others. Since you are pulling your daughter out of there due to issues with the provider - don't leave her there once you give notice!
 
Pull her out. Anything can happen so quickly when kids are not properly supervised. Try to get the sick pay after you leave but if not it's only money at the end of the day. No amount is worth your peace of mind and little one's safety.
 
Sometimes in life it costs money to sleep well at night. IMO this is one of those situations. I would walk away immediately, and no I would not feel good leaving my child there after announcing we were leaving.

I agree with Carl. (I know you want to count on her reacting in a professional manner once you give your notice. Unfortunately, she hasn't been very professional already if care has been declining over the past few months in the manner you've described, so I wouldn't expect it once she knows you're leaving.)
 
Agreed. The home daycare provider has your money now, and is not acting professionally towards any of the children in her care. I do not see any incentive to her to improve her behaviour towards your daughter once you tell her you are leaving, and would like some money back.
 
Sometimes in life it costs money to sleep well at night. IMO this is one of those situations. I would walk away immediately, and no I would not feel good leaving my child there after announcing we were leaving.

I agree. I think it would be the best $400 you ever spent. And this is coming from someone who is frugal to the bone.
 
I agree with all the other posters...take your child out, say goodbye to the money and sleep easier at night. Oh, and unfriend her :-)
 
print out the pages of her Facebook so you can prove that she was doing that stuff, then go right to her when picking your child up and tell her you want to be reimbursed for the sick days (how can she charge anything if she is calling sick???) and the two weeks pay she is holding. You will be pulling your DD immediately to start at someplace new and explain why. Be sure to bring copies of her page with you as examples. If she has someone she reports to, let them know. Daycares are regulated by the state and I'm sure that they would like to know what is going on as well as the other parents with kids there. If she refuses, bring the info you have to a lawyer to the local news and see what happens there. No matter what, switch your DD out now to get her into a better place. babysitter obviously is not liking her job much if she needs motivation.....
 
I agree with the others and I would not leave my child there after notice is given. You evidently have concerns about the safety of your child after giving notice and peace of mind is worth well over the $480 monetary loss.

It's terribly disturbing that you are going through this. Does this caretaker have other children in their charge as well? I'd want to let other parents know and I'd also be reporting the person to the local regulation boards who license her.

There is no legitimate reason that the person should be able to have the time to be on Facebook all day long while they are supposedly caring for children!
 
The environment is not good for your daughter. Just move her ASAP. Take the money as a loss.
 
We had a somewhat similar situation...minus the facebook issue. We decided a couple months before the end of the year to move her the following year. It just wasn't feasible to move her. Money is a factor, but not over the safety of your child. However, if there is no abuse or serious neglect and you are not concerned at all about her safety...if it's not possible just to keep her home, I'd let her stay until the end. Once she's gone, I'd write a letter to her and the national agency discussing the issue.

Sometimes it's not as easy to just forget about the money and pull them out.
 
print out the pages of her Facebook so you can prove that she was doing that stuff, then go right to her when picking your child up and tell her you want to be reimbursed for the sick days (how can she charge anything if she is calling sick???) and the two weeks pay she is holding. You will be pulling your DD immediately to start at someplace new and explain why. Be sure to bring copies of her page with you as examples. If she has someone she reports to, let them know. Daycares are regulated by the state and I'm sure that they would like to know what is going on as well as the other parents with kids there. If she refuses, bring the info you have to a lawyer to the local news and see what happens there. No matter what, switch your DD out now to get her into a better place. babysitter obviously is not liking her job much if she needs motivation.....

Absolutely agree 100%!!!!!!!!!

OP--correct me if I'm wrong, but this sounds like an in-home daycare type situation? With only 4 children I doubt it's an actual daycare? There is NO way I would take my child back there. Don't worry about the money, that's not what's important.
 
You won't get any money back from her. But you need to just leave and forget about the money.
 
print out the pages of her Facebook so you can prove that she was doing that stuff, then go right to her when picking your child up and tell her you want to be reimbursed for the sick days (how can she charge anything if she is calling sick???) and the two weeks pay she is holding. You will be pulling your DD immediately to start at someplace new and explain why. Be sure to bring copies of her page with you as examples. If she has someone she reports to, let them know. Daycares are regulated by the state and I'm sure that they would like to know what is going on as well as the other parents with kids there. If she refuses, bring the info you have to a lawyer to the local news and see what happens there. No matter what, switch your DD out now to get her into a better place. babysitter obviously is not liking her job much if she needs motivation.....
 
I think the other parents should be made aware of this as well. Print out everything and confront her, tell her that is why you will not be bringing your DD back. Then ask for the sick day $ refunded, which you will probably not get.
 
I'd go ahead and pull my child and just think of the money as insurance. If I knew the other parents, I would share the information with them as well, because their kids could be in danger as well. Unsupervised toddlers/preschoolers can get into a lot of trouble!

Marsha
 
1. I would pull my kid. Give her written notice of why with the print outs, see below.
2. Call child care licensing- either she is running an illegal daycare or she is licenced and not providing adequate care.
3. Contact the parents of her other children- they should be aware of the care she is providing.
4. Take her to small claims court for breach of contract- she agreed to provide adequate care, you have facebook record- bring them with you that she is neglecting the children and you are entitled to your money, and sick leave.

GL
 


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