WWYD? Leaving Daycare Money Issue

[hffmnheidi]

1. I would pull my kid. Give her written notice of why with the print outs, see below.
2. Call child care licensing- either she is running an illegal daycare or she is licenced and not providing adequate care.

GL

Exactly, immediately contact the state and have her license pulled. You may need those facebook pages for the state since they are a permanent record and anything on the internet stays forever and it's not like she can lie about it. The Department of Children and Family Services(DCFS) here in Illinois is required to come out and investigate ANY claim, so I hope your state is the same way.

If she won't give you your money back, go see a lawyer and have them write her a letter. It will probably cost a 100 dollars or so, but you'll entitled to have your money back from an unprofessional provider. You can also contact any associations she belongs to and inform them of the situation. In some cases, she may be dropped because of her unprofessional standards.

I work in a daycare facility with 2 year olds, so I understand your concerns. Young children need constant supervision and lots of activities to keep their little minds and hands busy so they don't get into trouble. I hope you have better luck with your new provider.

 

[01spirit750]

Also check with the your city, most require a day care license so they can collect the fees.

I am betting that she does not have a city business license. They are simple to get and are mainly so the city can collect the fees.

 

[princessmom29]

I know someone is going to take offense to this, but I have to throw it out there. You are upset that she is on facebook while your children are there, but how many of us dis with our kids at home and awake when we are the only caregiver??? Is it really the fact that she is on facebook, or her political views ect that you have a problem with? Why does the content matter if the issue is simply being on facebook and giving constant attention to the kids. Mabye they were napping while she was on, or engaged in some activity and she is stealing a couple minutes at a time to post? I think you should talk to her and get her side before umping to conclusions with both feet.

 

[ceecee]

Around here you can do in-home babysitting with up to 7 kids and you don't need a license so reporting her may not do any good if she isn't licensed to begin with.

 

[hockeyprincess]

I know someone is going to take offense to this, but I have to throw it out there. You are upset that she is on facebook while your children are there, but how many of us dis with our kids at home and awake when we are the only caregiver??? Is it really the fact that she is on facebook, or her political views ect that you have a problem with? Why does the content matter if the issue is simply being on facebook and giving constant attention to the kids. Mabye they were napping while she was on, or engaged in some activity and she is stealing a couple minutes at a time to post? I think you should talk to her and get her side before umping to conclusions with both feet.

When I am paying for a service, I expect that service. Being on the internet in my own home watching my own children is one thing... being a trusted daycare provider that is being paid for a service is another in my opinion.

 

[princessmom29]

When I am paying for a service, I expect that service. Being on the internet in my own home watching my own children is one thing... being a trusted daycare provider that is being paid for a service is another in my opinion.

So in your opinion an in home daycare porvider should never do anything during working hours that is not directly related to caring for your children, even for a second? I don't think that is realistic. If it is excessive, and to the detriment of the chidlren then yes I agree there is a problem, but I think that the OP should at least hear the provider's side before assuming she was ignoring the kids for facebook. I have often found timestamps both here and on facebook to be really wrong sometimes. It may have been happening at times when they were sleeping or otherwise occupied. I don't think a provide should have to sit and watch the kids sleep for hours at a time. It just seems to me that everyone here is ready to tar and feather the provider without even considering that she may not be doing anything wrong.

 

[Disney845]

We have online billing through a national childcare company,

No kids, so have no day-care experience, but if you are paying through a National Company is she contracting out her daycare service for them? Could you just pull your child and dispute the charges (pre-pay and sick days) with the company you are paying and request a refund providing the documentation of why you are removing your child?

 

[tobylars]

I AM a licensed provider in MN, where you are from, and I think that calling licensing is a waste of their time. They have far worse issues to deal with than someone on FB. Most licensing units are very short of manpower/funds to check out everything.
I am here on dis for a few minutes while the kids are playing. They are safe, I am a few feet away from the kids, the baby is sleeping. We have activiites throughout the day, but I don't get coffee breaks, lunch breaks, etc, so most of us who have a computer in our play areas take a few minutes here and there to connect with the world. When I have a group of kids that know the routines, the rules and are busy playing, I can do this. I know alot of provider who are house cleaning, doing laundry, etc. during the day and the kids are in another part of the house--that I don't agree with, but alot of parents don't care.
I sit in the playroom and check e-mails, FB, etc. I get maybe a minute to do that here and there, it doesn't mean I am online all the time.
That said, be honest with your provider. Let her know you aren't comfortable with the fact that she seems to always be on FB. Don't make her get defensive. Ask her why the kids aren't doing as many crafts as they did before--maybe there is another reason than she is not doing things with the kids.
Another thought is that she maybe needs a little time off, but doesn't feel like she can afford to take a day once in a while.
You mention the sick days----I would love to get paid for my sick days, but in my area, it isn't the norm, so I don't. I work when I am sick---usually providers are sick because kids have exposed us to something and we catch it. That is part of the job, when caring for a group of kids. Be thankful that your provider does take sick days, even if you have to pay for them. She is taking care of herself.
Sorry, I will quit---I suppose I will be blasted for my view point, but it is what it is.

 

[apnep]

Would you feel comfortable leaving your child in the current situation after giving 2 weeks notice? I don't think it's an unsafe environment, and I would hope the provider could be professional.

I remember wanting to leave my oldest's fist provider because she was ALWAYS closed! It made working a freaking nightmare because I would always have to leave or worry about who would cover her. When we decided to leave the relationship rapidly deteriorated and I did NOT feel comfortable anymore.

Having said that, I think keeping your child there another two weeks after telling her your switching providers is not a good thing. The relationship will definitely deteriorate and be uncomfortable. I know you are trying to be frugal but in this case, your child is more important than a couple of hundred bucks. Give your notice and then move on.

Good luck,
Ang

 

[apnep]

I agree with all the other posters...take your child out, say goodbye to the money and sleep easier at night. Oh, and unfriend her

Yes! And make sure you let the other parents know what is going on. They have a right to know.

Ang

 

[Maddie2]

We pulled our child from a daycare years ago and faced the same $$ dilemma. Although times were very tight for us, we made the only decision we could -- we pulled him and forfeited any $ due back to us. All I had to do was look into the eyes of my son and know what to do.

There was no FB back then (barely computers in homes) and though he was not in danger per se or neglected, we knew it was time to leave. We contacted the state and found out that we were not alone in our questioning the provider. She had had daycares in other towns through the years. We mentioned some of it to a few other parents and some left/some didn't. We did what was right for us and made no regrets.

You have to do what you feel in your heart is right. Perhaps you could do the small claims court thing, but for us we just wanted to be done with her and move on. Peace of mind was the most important thing for us.

Good luck making your decisions.

 

[LuLuO]

Sometimes in life it costs money to sleep well at night. IMO this is one of those situations. I would walk away immediately, and no I would not feel good leaving my child there after announcing we were leaving.

I totally agree.

 

[apnep]

I know someone is going to take offense to this, but I have to throw it out there. You are upset that she is on facebook while your children are there, but how many of us dis with our kids at home and awake when we are the only caregiver??? Is it really the fact that she is on facebook, or her political views ect that you have a problem with? Why does the content matter if the issue is simply being on facebook and giving constant attention to the kids. Mabye they were napping while she was on, or engaged in some activity and she is stealing a couple minutes at a time to post? I think you should talk to her and get her side before umping to conclusions with both feet.

Ok, the OP said the posts were coming every 15 minutes. She has a JOB to do. Being at home is a different thing entirely especially because it's the kid's home and they have their rooms and toys and the home environment is safe for the kids (I hope). Parents aren't supposed to be "parentainers" anyway when they are home. The lady had a contract to care for the kids and do activities with them and she isn't doing it. Plus, who wants to hear that she needs motivation to do her JOB which is taking care of people babies?! Darn tootin' I wouldn't like that! People who provide daycare services really must LOVE to do their job and you can tell when someone is doing it because they love the kids and when they are just in it to make an "easy" buck. I would not want my kid going to a "daycare" like that.

Ang

 

[luvsJack]

Here you can keep up to 5 kids that are not kin to you (so 5 plus your own kids, for example, without a license. If she is not a licensed facility there is no one to report anything to and there is no reason to do all that confronting. In most places keeping under a certain number of kids in your home is just baby sitting (according to the officials) and no license is necessary.

I would just tell her that you are giving her 2 weeks notice and do so. Posting on facebook does not make her someone who would suddenly be abusive to your child. You can tell her that you found a place that is more convienent or just that meets your child's needs better. I doubt that you are the only one that has ever pulled your child out.

If she has befriended you on facebook, chances are she has befriended other parents too. Are you absolutely sure that the posts are not during nap time or during a free play time? Do other parents seem upset?

I would be upset about too much TV most definitly and I would be upset if it seemed as though she is doing nothing but posting on facebook but not if she just had the computer up and posted during nap time or something. It would be no different than her reading a book during that time.

 

[DawnM]

I lost over $1000 when my older boys were in a daycare that I took them out of. I tried to get it back and even called social services and the police on what happened. But they needed to be taken out immediately and I was upset about the loss of $$, but not willing to take my boys back there!

Dawn

 

[flamingglobessigmund]

Pull your daughter out. Try to get the money back. If all attempts fail, take the child care provider to small claims court.

 

[surfergirl602]

print out the pages of her Facebook so you can prove that she was doing that stuff, then go right to her when picking your child up and tell her you want to be reimbursed for the sick days (how can she charge anything if she is calling sick???) and the two weeks pay she is holding. You will be pulling your DD immediately to start at someplace new and explain why. Be sure to bring copies of her page with you as examples. If she has someone she reports to, let them know. Daycares are regulated by the state and I'm sure that they would like to know what is going on as well as the other parents with kids there. If she refuses, bring the info you have to a lawyer to the local news and see what happens there. No matter what, switch your DD out now to get her into a better place. babysitter obviously is not liking her job much if she needs motivation.....

I have to agree with this. She needs to be reported - because eventually something is going to happen to those poor kids - and she needs to know the reason WHY you are pulling her out, with the proof. I would also let her know that she needs to cut you a check or cash, whatever, but the end of the two weeks, and also bring in the log you've been keeping of sick days. Her getting paid on days she isn't working is just crazy, btw. I would never had agreed to that.

 

[princessbride6205]

OP here. Thanks for everyone's perspective. Sometimes the right answer is obvious to others, but hard to realize when we're in the situation. I will be pulling DD and moving to our new place immediately. Hearing your views helped me solidify what I was feeling in my gut.

This is indeed a licensed home daycare. I don't know the school agers parents because I drop off much later in the morning. The 3yo boy's parents are also friends with our provider on Facebook! I don't know if they haven't noticed she's online all day or they don't care...? Again, I don't run into them in person, but we've exchanged a few e-mails in the past about daycare events, holiday gift exchange, etc. I'll e-mail them, but it feels weird since they could potentially already know.

I am printing out the pages of Facebook posts - I'm going to need more paper! As I was printing I noticed a post from last Thursday afternoon - saying how happy she was that her husband arrived home from work early so she got to go read a book and take a nap!

I'm working on crafting a resignation letter to our provider. She called in sick today so I may not see her in person again unless I make a special visit.

I will certainly report this issue to the county licensing board.

 

[princessbride6205]

I started typing my reply and a number of posts came that I didn't read until after. I'll respond here...

I know someone is going to take offense to this, but I have to throw it out there. You are upset that she is on facebook while your children are there, but how many of us dis with our kids at home and awake when we are the only caregiver??? Is it really the fact that she is on facebook, or her political views ect that you have a problem with? Why does the content matter if the issue is simply being on facebook and giving constant attention to the kids. Mabye they were napping while she was on, or engaged in some activity and she is stealing a couple minutes at a time to post? I think you should talk to her and get her side before umping to conclusions with both feet.

So in your opinion an in home daycare porvider should never do anything during working hours that is not directly related to caring for your children, even for a second? I don't think that is realistic. If it is excessive, and to the detriment of the chidlren then yes I agree there is a problem, but I think that the OP should at least hear the provider's side before assuming she was ignoring the kids for facebook. I have often found timestamps both here and on facebook to be really wrong sometimes. It may have been happening at times when they were sleeping or otherwise occupied. I don't think a provide should have to sit and watch the kids sleep for hours at a time. It just seems to me that everyone here is ready to tar and feather the provider without even considering that she may not be doing anything wrong.

I understand that everyone needs breaks during the day, but this is constant. I would absolutely excuse child nap times and understand that daycare providers need little breaks. I know I take breaks at work and at home, but her actions have moved beyond a misunderstanding. This really is every 15 minutes, plus the time she must spend compiling the articles. See also my post above about her mid-afternoon nap last week.
I pay her to provide supervision and activities. She is barely supervising, as sometimes when we pick up, DD is alone in the front room watching TV. And that's when our provider knows we're picking up! Is there somehow less supervision when she knows no one is there to see?
I mentioned the political views to give some context of what the posts are about. The fact that she's posting links leads me to believe that she's off on all these other websites reading articles and such - I'm only seeing the time stamps of things she puts on FB. I don't agree with her politically, but that's not why I'd pull my child. I've known we have different views for a year. It really is the lack of care that I'm concerned about. That the other half of her posts are about needing motivation or cheering up. It's obvious from those posts and her actions in the declining care that she is not really motivated to do a good job taking care of the children.

I AM a licensed provider in MN, where you are from, and I think that calling licensing is a waste of their time. They have far worse issues to deal with than someone on FB. Most licensing units are very short of manpower/funds to check out everything.
I am here on dis for a few minutes while the kids are playing. They are safe, I am a few feet away from the kids, the baby is sleeping. We have activiites throughout the day, but I don't get coffee breaks, lunch breaks, etc, so most of us who have a computer in our play areas take a few minutes here and there to connect with the world. When I have a group of kids that know the routines, the rules and are busy playing, I can do this. I know alot of provider who are house cleaning, doing laundry, etc. during the day and the kids are in another part of the house--that I don't agree with, but alot of parents don't care.
I sit in the playroom and check e-mails, FB, etc. I get maybe a minute to do that here and there, it doesn't mean I am online all the time.
That said, be honest with your provider. Let her know you aren't comfortable with the fact that she seems to always be on FB. Don't make her get defensive. Ask her why the kids aren't doing as many crafts as they did before--maybe there is another reason than she is not doing things with the kids.
Another thought is that she maybe needs a little time off, but doesn't feel like she can afford to take a day once in a while.
You mention the sick days----I would love to get paid for my sick days, but in my area, it isn't the norm, so I don't. I work when I am sick---usually providers are sick because kids have exposed us to something and we catch it. That is part of the job, when caring for a group of kids. Be thankful that your provider does take sick days, even if you have to pay for them. She is taking care of herself.
Sorry, I will quit---I suppose I will be blasted for my view point, but it is what it is.

Thank you for your comment. I agree that calling licensing will likely do nothing, but I would like to at least file a complaint. I know of other parents who have had true safety issues with their provider and filed a complaint and nothing ever happened. While I'm not trying to divert limited resources needed for abuse and neglect cases, I think substandard care also deserves to be reported. I would hope that as a state we're striving for a little more in child care than just not abusive.
Your comment about sick days - it's in our contract that I should only pay half. I paid in full because we mutually agreed I would cash them out later due to the billing system. Also, she took a full week of paid vacation last month with only a few weeks notice. I don't think she needs more time off to refresh.

I do not plan to attack or viciously accuse my provider of anything. I'll be civil and start by saying that we've felt the care has become less attentive and were thinking about moving to a preschool setting. We decided to make an immediate change when we saw the extreme frequency of activity on FB. We're uncomfortable leaving DD here anymore.

And as much as I would like to, I do not plan to go after the final two weeks money. I doubt we'll even go the lawyer route, but I will ask for the sick time money and be pleasantly surprised if we receive it.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Maybe someone that is more experienced with Facebook can answer this, but is it possible that the articles that are being posted are by some automated system? I have a FB friend that I had to hide his status because there were so many crazy political articles-- and we share the same political views! He just is more extreme. But I have assumed that these are posted to his status automatically because of the sheer volume of them and the fact that it will be 10 or 12 of them in a row.

That may account for some of the time if she isn't actually online posting them.

However the comment about her husband being home and she could read a book and take a nap would be enough at this point to be gone. But I am also snarky and would have posted back to her "So who is watching the kids?" just to see how she responded.