WWYD - High School Parents

[dislaney]

I would work on changing the policy, like others have said. Fortunately, your daughter has proper credit for her assignments. Not really fair that this has happened but life goes on.

 

[spacemountainmom]

No one in the school told me it was the girl's first offense. They were very careful to say "IF" it was her first offense that was the punishment. They did not offer what the punishment was if it was not her first offense.

And yes, I was very disturbed about the idea that she almost got away with it. It took the teacher the third or fourth time through the papers to discover the deception. The number of points represented on the test and the quiz was enough to bring dd's grade up a third.

The teacher was very upset. Her desk was violated and she told me that she didn't realize that she had to worry about identity theft among her students. She was pretty much questionning herself about whether or not this student had done this to other kids and gotten away with it.

My dd has learned that she will always use ink to put her name on papers and will continue to write it on both sides.

 

[Poohforyou]

In most schools - including the middle school where I work - offenses and consequences are listed in the student handbook. For example - "Fighting - If there is any physical contact between students, the first offense will involve in-school suspension. Second and subsequent fighting offenses will result in suspension from school for one or more days."

DD's student handbook shows many items as being "principal's discretion". The principal and assistant both told me that the punishment for a first offense was a zero on each assignment. I don't see how them telling me this is going to get anyone in trouble.

I guess I really don't get a say in her punishment, but I can push to change the policy.

Of course you can and there are proper channels to do so.

 

[hereyago]

No one in the school told me it was the girl's first offense. They were very careful to say "IF" it was her first offense that was the punishment.
.

I apologize, i didn't read that part correctly in your OP.

and let me add, if you go to the school board-which sometimes it's better to go in front of more people then just the Superintendent , if you really want to change the policy, rally other parents to attend, get involved, etc. they are not going to consider changing for 1 parent.

 

[ols386]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";41611283]The problem with teens is that they have jello for brains and react first and think later....you are right to be angry but for a first offense there is no need to destroy the other child's future either....

I would have been angry also mostly since your daughter almost had to pay the price in her overall grade and GPA....

Be careful also that your daughter does not go back to school and starts to tell kids about what she did because that could very well fall back on her as the other student calls her a liar and that she is spreading rumors about her....you know how some teens get....UGH the drama....

If your daughter feels like she needs an apology than have her go up to the girl by herself without other friends around and ask for one...if the girl does not give her one than leave it alone.....but at least your daughter will feel like she has closure....

Glad you found the papers...that is the main issue...your daughter not the other girl.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't suggest doing that. That might create more of a problem. It's been dealt with by the school. The dd deserves an apology, but confronting the other kid might not be a good idea.

 

[powellrj]

FWIW, our school wouldn't even do anything when my DSs ipod was stolen. We knew who stole it and he went to the school. They told him so sorry, but nothing they could do about it. Call the police. Thats what we did. The police met the kid after school and told the kid he had until 7pm that evening to return the ipod to our DS, he was going to be at school that evening for choir practice. My DH took our DS to choir practice informed the director what was going on and the director, the police officer and my DH were with my DS when the kid returned the ipod. Nothing was done to the kid even though all of this happened on school grounds and during school time.

 

[luvsJack]

I am really curious as to what you would like the policy to change TO?

 

[Poohforyou]

FWIW, our school wouldn't even do anything when my DSs ipod was stolen. We knew who stole it and he went to the school. They told him so sorry, but nothing they could do about it. Call the police. Thats what we did. The police met the kid after school and told the kid he had until 7pm that evening to return the ipod to our DS, he was going to be at school that evening for choir practice. My DH took our DS to choir practice informed the director what was going on and the director, the police officer and my DH were with my DS when the kid returned the ipod. Nothing was done to the kid even though all of this happened on school grounds and during school time.

Sorry, but I don't blame the school for not getting involved. Ours tells the kids not to bring electronics to school and that they aren't responsible if they're lost or stolen.

 

[spacemountainmom]

I am really curious as to what you would like the policy to change TO?

Really - I am all for the person to fail the class. Academic fraud in a college or university generally results in dismissal from the school. I have done some research and some high schools do fail the student from the class.

Realistically - I think cheating in the high school should result in the class being graded as imcomplete. The student should have to finish in either night school or summer school. I really don't think just giving a zero is adequte. They are punishing the student for not doing the work, they are not punishing the student for the theft of the work or the deception in turning it in as their own.

 

[Tink888]

I can understand why you are angry but you need to let it go.

Everything is resolved with your daughter.

Whether or not you like it or agree with it, it is not your place to dictate punishments, it is the school's. How they choose to do that and this other student are not your business.

If you want to see a change in the policy then attend board meetings and voice your concerns. You change policy by attacking the policy. You do not change policy by launching an attack against the other student. This is not college, it is high school and there is a reason that the rules are not the same.

Life is not fair, even the judicial system is not fair. Ask a victim of a violent crime how fair they feel the punishment is when the guilty person walks, plea bargains or gets out early on parole.

Your daughter is fine, her grades are fine. That is what matters. Move on and enjoy your summer.

 

[disneylovin24]

Since it was the student's first offense, she gets off with a warning. This is how most schools handle first time offenders. Now that school is out there is really nothing else you can do, at this point it's not like they can give her a detention (which usually comes after a 2nd or 3rd offense).

I know you are angry and I would be too, believe me I would be REALLY angry. But, there's nothing else anyone in the school is going to do.

I think the mosti mportant thing is that the girl did get caught and your daughter did not get the zeros. And think about it, this girl is not going to get places in life doing things like this, so feel bad for her because she's a low person.

 

[Disney Doll]

Have there been other isues between this child and your child that are making you seem to be wanting to extract more retribution than the school officials deem necessary?

Is this kid a "bad seed"? Does she have a history of this type of behavior? Or did she do something really stupid....something a 15 year old might do? These are all questions I would need answered before I decided that this child should be harangued any more for what she did.

Now granted, that's not what you want to hear, so I will give you the stock response...if you feel that strongly about it go to the school board, tell them your story and try to have the policy changed to be more stringent and hope your DD doesn't do something under the newer stringent discipline guidelines that will warrant her having to pay the price you wish to extract from this other child.

Personally, as long as my kid wasn't ultimately harmed, I'd let the school handle discipline of the other kdi as they see fit. I'd tell my kid that some peopel are cheats and she should watch out for them. And then I'd go enjoy my summer.

 

[luvsJack]

Really - I am all for the person to fail the class. Academic fraud in a college or university generally results in dismissal from the school. I have done some research and some high schools do fail the student from the class.

Realistically - I think cheating in the high school should result in the class being graded as imcomplete. The student should have to finish in either night school or summer school. I really don't think just giving a zero is adequte. They are punishing the student for not doing the work, they are not punishing the student for the theft of the work or the deception in turning it in as their own.

In all fairness the difference in a college student and a high school student is that one is an adult and the other is not.

Your school probably does fail a student for cheating, just not the first offense. IMHO, the punishement does fit the crime. The student got a 0 for the assignment and I am sure parents were called. Its possible that there were other consequences, you just don't know what they are.

How is a I better punishment than a 0? The 0 could pull the student's grade down significantly enough to fail the class or be close to failing. An incomplete means they are going to let her make up the work and, with all due respect, you do not know the student's circumstances and whether night or summer school is possible.

I do agree that there should be a seperate punishment for stealing. Maybe whatever the consequences are for stealing should be added to receiving the, but that is really not your call.

 

[spacemountainmom]

I do believe that "what goes around, comes around" and "Karma is a witch" so be it.

I just still can't believe the school has such a lax policy. Like I said, most teachers require the use of the turnitin website to prevent cheating, but then something of this nature is essentially blown off.

 

[RachaelA]

Why wasn't it two offenses? She stole two assignments!

This would have never been okay at my high school (I went to a private college prep school though). We would have been expelled (and our parents would have been out the tuitition!).

 

[spacemountainmom]

My dd was a sophomore taking a junior year math class. The class was a mixed group of sophomores and juniors. The girl in question was a junior and my daughter doesn't really know her. DD did not feel there was any personal malice involved, either dd's paper was on top of the stack or the girl realized that dd is one of the "brighter" kids in class and decided to take her papers.

Call me crazy, but to me "stealing" warrants a bit more consequence than just getting a zero. You get a zero for not doing your assignment. She stole the papers and deceived the teacher into believing it was her own work. The misery of having to go to summer school might make someone think twice about pulling this kid of stunt. It's not like I am asking to have her put in the stockade and publically lashed.

 

[ThreeBeans]

My dd was a sophomore taking a junior year math class. The class was a mixed group of sophomores and juniors. The girl in question was a junior and my daughter doesn't really know her. DD did not feel there was any personal malice involved, either dd's paper was on top of the stack or the girl realized that dd is one of the "brighter" kids in class and decided to take her papers.

Call me crazy, but to me "stealing" warrants a bit more consequence than just getting a zero. You get a zero for not doing your assignment. She stole the papers and deceived the teacher into believing it was her own work. The misery of having to go to summer school might make someone think twice about pulling this kid of stunt. It's not like I am asking to have her put in the stockade and publically lashed.

It's not any of your business. She's not your child. YOUR child has been harmed in no way at all.

Honestly, if you pursue this, you are going to look crazy. Take a deep breath, let it go. DD learned a valuable lesson about marking her papers, and in the end no harm was done to her.

You do not have a say, nor should you, in how another person's child is disciplined.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Why wasn't it two offenses? She stole two assignments!

This would have never been okay at my high school (I went to a private college prep school though). We would have been expelled (and our parents would have been out the tuitition!).

I agree.

It wouldn't have been a light offense at my school either. It would have been a big deal.

I don't know what the answer is OP. But I do know I'd be ticked off.

 

[hereyago]

I'm unfamiliar with the turnitin website, but how would it have prevented little miss stinky fingers from swiping your DD's papers on a desk? just asking.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Well - MY child was harmed. She spent several days freaking out because her assignments (that she had done and turned in) were missing. It added stress to the already stressful finals week. She thought she was going to have to redo the quiz and the test and then only get partial credit because the teacher would think they were late or she might not have given her any credit at all. It caused her a great deal of stress and anxiety.

Please don't try and tell me that there was no harm done.