WWYD - Disney or Dance Recital?

[Pam]

You just have one daughter, the 3yo? Or is there an older daughter in the recital? No way would I cancel a trip for a newly 3-year-old's recital. I'm sorry, but while they might be very cute for the parents, 3yo recitals aren't very good and they only last a couple of minutes. At my neice's recital last year, one girl just sat on the stage and cried for the whole song.

ETA: You won't be missing her first recital. Her first recital will be next year (if you continue dance).

I agree with Beth. And I say this as a Mom whose daughter took dance for 13 years from age 5-18! And sat through all of those dance recital rehearsals and performances.

Your child will be on stage for 5-10 minutes. She'll be in a group of what - 10-20 kids?

Go to Disney and do the recital thing the next year.

 

[barkley]

i guess i'm confused on the matter. if she's taking ballet at the daycare-then is it just offered as part of the curriculum, and since the teacher also operates a studio those daycare kids are being included in the studios recital?

if that's the case there may be several other kids whose parents don't opt to have them participate for purely financial reasons. it's one thing when you sign on for a dance studio knowing it's part of the deal to do a recital and take on the associated (in my opinion outrageous) costs-it's another when it's something your child is doing as part of their daycare program.

i'de do the trip-at 3 it's mostly just a couple of minutes on stage for each number, and it's honestly more for the parents than the kids (i've known far too many studio owners who would have foregone having the 'tiny tots' in the programs at all if it was'nt such a big issue with the parents). at 3 with advance notice the teacher can have her continue to participate without a negative impact on the performance. and as far as the dresses and pictures go-i'de be realy surprised if a school separate and apart from a dance studio would be allowing this stuff on school time, so she may never be aware of that issue (i mean-what do the other students who don't want to take ballet or whose parents can't afford this stuff do? just sit around while the focus of the day is on someone's outside buisness venture?).

 

[kbkids]

At this age, I'd choose Disney without thinking about it. DD was three for her first recital, and I honestly had no clue whether she was going to go out on stage or not. She did, but she had one in her class who refused! One sat down and cried. It's just an age when you don't know what they're going to do. Your DD is going to get much more enjoyment out of Disney than being nervous at her recital. I love my DD's recitals - she's now 9, but it wouldn't have been a big deal to miss that first one. Like someone else said, next year can still be her "first dance recital." At DD's studio even now, there are MANY 1st year students who don't participate in the recital - it's really pretty common.

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

One more thought--if the costumes are not expensive, just get her one any way. That way she can still be in pictures and such. I've known families to do this. The children we have known have been much less disappointed--b/c all they really care about is the fancy pretty outfit.

I agree with this. My DD (12) has been dancing for many years, but those younger years, it was all about the costume.

Go on the trip.

 

[Beca]

We ran into this problem last year. We went to Disney!!!

 

[Nancy]

For 3 year olds? That's nuts.


Go on your trip.

May be nuts but thats the way it works. What is she going to do while the rest of the class is learning the routine for the recital? I know it is only a 3 year old, but recital is a huge time commitment for studios and teachers.

Our studio always knew before the year even started when recitals dates were. So you knew first day of class. I missed many events due to recitals in my DD's years of dance. (I missed every one of my nephews college graduations because that was recital runthrough, which we knew a head of time.)

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Dance recital.
Disney will still be there at a later date (even if you have to pay child rates), but this is her first recital.

I agree.

 

[Becky2005]

Keep the Disney reservation. You have many years to see her do a recital.

She will definitely be just as cute doing her first recital next year at 4 years old. Probably even more so being a year older.

 

[BuckNaked]

JMO, but I'd change the reservations. It's iffy, 'cause your DD may not really be old enough to understand yet, but she's going to be awfully upset when the other kids start getting excited about the recital and she's left out because she's not going to be there.

Disney's not going anywhere...but watching your 3yo in her first dance recital (and I'm speaking from experience) just isn't something that you get to do more than once.

If she was a little older, I'd lean MUCH more heavily towards rescheduling, but it may not be as big of a deal to her at 3.

Good luck!

I'm with you on this one - I would change the Disney trip.

 

[Nancy]

I don't think she would be asked to leave the class if she doesn't attend the recital. As I mentioned previously, she takes ballet while she is in daycare, this is at our church. Her dance teacher works part-time at the church, goes to school and also teaches at traditional dance company.

Well, that's a bit different than a huge school recital. My Dd's recital they had 7 shows, I believe they now do 10, although you don't dance in every show unless you are on the competition team (which was us).

BTW, I would do Disney under the circumstances you describe, taking lessons at 2 she really isn't learning a heck of a lot anyhow.

 

[Arielle22]

My 2 dd's have been taking dance since they were 2.5 and 3. They are in their 8th and 10th yr now.

I would change the dates of the trip. At my dds school, from Jan-June is spent learning their dances for the recital. They get measured for costumes during class and receive them during class in late May.

OP, what will you tell your daughter why she isn't wearing her pretty costumes or being in the recital? I would think she would be feeling left out of the fun.

My thought is that Disney will always be there but you can't redo the recital. I am a big Disney freak but the moments from their first recitals are etched into my mind. Every year, my family laughs over my older dd stopping on stage to look at the scenery or my younger dd refusing to leave the stage.

 

[janette]

My 15yo DD has been dancing since she was 3yo. We've been to many recitals. Most kids really aren't into the show until they are older, she'll be lucky to know any of the dance steps. They usually just watch the teachers and maybe do a little, it's really about getting onstage & not crying.

Since you've already planned your trip I'd go ahead. When my DD was 9yo we had a WDW vacation that ended up the same time as recital and she opted to go to WDW. I offered to wait and join the family later if she wanted to stay. Now she wouldn't think of missing recital; it's really important to her. Since your DD is too young to really express a preference I'd take her to see Mickey

 

[Alyssa88]

I used to dance- and I mean I was extremely involved up until my senior year of high school. I would never ever allow a vaction to come before any performance. However a three year old is alot different. Kids that young would not even notice a blocking change (since most likely they have places that are simply straight lines) and it would not be at all difficult to do without her. When she gets older, it will be ALOT tougher. I think I would try to rearrange my dates, because I would want her to do it, but if there is no way then just go. As long as you inform them before hand then it should be no problem.

 

[Whosemom]

I'm thinking, if its something they do during daycare, and didn't even tell you the date until now, its probably not even that big a deal to the school. My kids all took preschool gymnastics at the Y, and one of the teachers got in mind to have a recital. Definitely not worth missing vacation. Not to downplay it, it is a great experience for the kids, but still.

For dance we go to a really small studio, and even there they tell us in September the date for our May recital.

 

[Gretel]

dance recital............my daughters have been dancing for 12 years and the first recital is the best!

 

[cepmom]

May be nuts but thats the way it works. What is she going to do while the rest of the class is learning the routine for the recital? I know it is only a 3 year old, but recital is a huge time commitment for studios and teachers.

in our studio, no child is ever forced to do the recital. If the child (or the parent) chooses not to particitapte ion the recital, they place child on the end of a line so she will not be missed for the show. The child can still attend all the classes for the rest of the year and learn the routine along with everyone else.

I guess I don't understand the why a teacher would ask a child to leave if they didn't want to perform at the recital. Thankfully our studio is a lot more understanding in this way, especially for the little ones. Last year we had several little girls (3 -4 yr olds) that either walked off stage crying or just stood there with stage fright. No need to pressure them.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

May be nuts but thats the way it works. What is she going to do while the rest of the class is learning the routine for the recital? I know it is only a 3 year old, but recital is a huge time commitment for studios and teachers.

Our studio always knew before the year even started when recitals dates were. So you knew first day of class. I missed many events due to recitals in my DD's years of dance. (I missed every one of my nephews college graduations because that was recital runthrough, which we knew a head of time.)

She learns it with them.

Learning the routine is still learning how to dance. 2 months notice is not equivilant to knowing the first day of dance class.

Sometimes kids just want to dance for fun and don't care about the performances. While our dance studio explains that the recital is the reward for all the hard work so that they can show off their talent, it just isn't a requirement. They know 5 months in advance who is not doing the recital.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This is why I suggested buying the costume anyway if it is not cost prohibitive. It has worked very well for families who for one reason or another just cannot do the recital.

 

[disneyfreakk]

Let me first start off by saying that I dont have children. So take my two cents for what they are worth. lol I do however have a 3 year old nephew that I absolutly adore!! So atleast I can relate a bit.

Since it sounds like you are able to reschedual your Disney vacation, then reschedual it. I would think that puting vacation before any other commitments is sending the wrong message about responsibility, even at the age of 3.

 

[N&B'smom]

Technically should you choose to go to Disney, next year will be her first recital. It's not like you're going to Disney and she's staying here and having the recital. If she doesn't participate, that makes next year her first recital!

I think you already know what you want to do. Go to Disney!

Shelby

(I didn't read all of the responses just in case I said something someone else already said!)