WWYD-CANCEL or GO??

[a1tinkfans]

OP:


You are a Brave woman to come hear and let others know your situation! I want to wish your husband the very very best! My mom had a quadruple Bypass, St Francis Hospital (allegedly the BEST in the country, LI, NY) They were amazing! She was overweight, hypertensive and diabetic and she did Wonderful. They told her 8-10 years and told her WHAT to do to increase her chances for success.
She did not heed the doctors warnings and advice. So Take Note!! Your husband needs to LISTEN and react to what is told to him. It can be life or death! Sadly, my mom did pass almost 8 years to the month, but again...it was most definitely related to her not heeding their advice. She had a very wonderful life traveling and was way too young to die!!

As far as being in your families situation, I am not one to judge you, your husband or anyone for that matter. I am so glad that you will meet with the doctor...but I would be prepared one way or the other for your trip.....

As a person who sat across a table from an oncological surgeon who said point blank that if I did not have treatment, I would die from the cancer that was in my body, I KNOW that sometimes people that are ill see things differently!
So, those such as Lisaanddenny that posted those comments: to them I would say, I hope you never have any deadly serious issues to deal with....Why the negativity....??? When Life, or should I say Death faces you, Your life Changes for ever!!! Please don't be so quick to judge others!
It just brings to mind a conversation I had with my own DH a while back....
He asked why I would not be hang gliding and jumping from a plane, etc, since as he stated, I faced death in the face and won.
Well...for me it was Gee, I know how fragile things really are and WHY take the extra risk....
SO, each person and family has to make that decision.
From me to you..I wish you the very best with the power to make decisions based on FACTs and LOVE.................

Life can Change on a DIME.....Love each other!

 

[connie1042]

Our thoughts and prayers are with your family. I can't tell you what to do, but I know in the end you will make the decision that best suites all of your family. About 7 years ago, we had a trip to Hawaii planned. I was turning 50, so my doctor suggested that I have a full work-up. We had some heart problems in our family, so I said fine. I was in very good shape at the time. Right weight, exercised every day. they put me through tons of test, and were amazed that I passed them all with flying colors. They could not believe it. Then they did an MRI. It showed that the Carotid Artery in my neck was just about totally blocked. I was a stroke waiting to happen. I said I felt fine and I would have the surgery after our trip. the doctor said If you don't have the surgery now , you can't go on the trip. So I had the surgery and I am fine. We went to Hawaii on schedule, but I did have to take things a little easier than I usually do. Since they opened up my entire chest, any pressure form passing a car to taking off in an airplane made me feel very uncomfortable for a while. I would say just wait and see. It will all work out. Good Luck to your whole family.

 

[Va-bear]

Another vote for cancelling the trip.

Florida in September is so hot and humid and WDW involves so much walking. As for the coasters...my Dhs father died of a heart attack in front of him and it's not ever something you come to terms with. If your husband uses the "at least I will die doing something I love" reasoning again, please remind him that not only your daughter but a lot of other children on that ride should not have to live through that. Not a flame on him, I do understand his point of view but wonder if he has thought about the effect on others.

This post makes several good points. My dad was also told to stay out of the sun/heat and it was one of the more strict orders.

I am so sorry your DH had to go thru that - I was with my dad when he had his near fatal hear attack too....you are right, you never get over it, especially when you are 15. (And then I was left home to wake my sister and tell her....)

Good luck OP - do you think letting him know the devastating effect this could have on his children might help him see this differently? As some others have said, you could still do some very nice, memorable 'staycation' activities (fancy dinners out, a nice concert in the park, etc.) Going to Disney could be the reward after he's 'all better' - we did a beach trip like that and it is a big, wonderful, great memory for us all.

 

[tlh0726]

My best friend was visiting her son in TN when she had a heart attack.
She ended up being transported 2 hours to a hospital in Nashville and had emergency bypass surgery. She is lucky that she survived the ambulance trip, they could not helicopter her due to the weather. After the surgery, she went to her son's house until she was cleared to travel home. She was cleared to fly home 1 month after her surgery.

Are you, your husband, your children prepared to deal with any problems that may occur while on vacation?
What about additional living/hotel expenses that may occur if he was to because ill and could not travel home?
Can you or your children be away from work/home for the length of time that it could take for him to recover enough to come home?
If you had to come home with the remainder of the family, does your husband want to be there alone while he goes through what needs to be done?

to your family

I presume that since this is an ongoing health issues your children are aware of what is going on. Have you asked them their opinion on going or not?


If it were me, I would postpone. If you were not aware of any problem and something happened that is one thing, but knowing that there are serious problems that need immediate attention is another.

 

[LisaNJ25]

is this for real, seriously? especially putting in the comment of the (8,000sq foot) home.....what's that got to do with anything? the post is almost ridiculous. if it is true, he's going for him, not DD. "riding coasters even if it can kill him"? thats just ridiculous and who really can feel sorry for anyone with that mind set? and why would he go for 2 weeks when he's already showing signs of stress? come on people, this is silly! What would anyone say to a pregnant woman riding rollercoasters? Yes, we would all think she was nuts! There are warnings posted for each coaster/ride......I don't feel bad at all! Ride away! One would have to wander why someone in their "situation" would live in their situation. Knowing at anytime they could turn into a one income home and knowing two months of heating bills would "wipe" them out....one question, could they try to live in a smaller home? maybe 7,000 square feet? illness can attack anyone but the so called poster's chances are much higher than many...this post is fake, sorry, I have never read something so ridiculous.... It's fiction!

You are such an ***...

 

[Nena2007]

I am so sorry for what you are going through I can't imagine how scary it must be to live through all of this... your DH having a heart attack at 21, while you were pregnant? Talk about stressful!

I hope that things go well at the doctors and with his surgery and your decisions. I wish you luck!!!

 

[lexib]

I am so sorry for all of the stress you have in your life right now, I hope you postpone your vacation until after your husband has his surgery, they can do so many things for your heart today, there are so many great hospitals and doctors, I am praying that you are going to a place like the Cleaveland or Mayo Clinic they are both highly recommended hospitals for heart problems.

You can go later on vacation and it enjoy it so much more when you are not worried sick about your husband, I know I would be sick if it was my husband.

We were ar wdw 8 days after I had an emergency gallbladder surgery in June, it was so hot and I really didn't feel to well, I would have enjoyed my self much more if i would have waited, sometimes your body needs rest, i am thinking your husband probably doesn't feel the best and could have some beathing issues with that humidity and heat.

Good luck to you, your family will be in my prayers, I know you have many tough decsions ahead for you.

 

[Marymom]

I did not read any of the replies but thought I would suggest... go on the Disney cruise instead! You will have a wonderful memorable time and your dh could have a calmer, stressfree vacation.

Mary

 

[SueM in MN]

firstly, prayers and pixie dust to you.
I am happy to hear DH agrees about the coasters. I agree about the "laid back" trip. get an ECV for the whole trip. also, in your circumstance, you should have no trouble getting a GAC card. you should not have to wait in lines in the heat- you should go to the front. call Disney and ask about this.
also ask them to amend their cancellation policy, so you can cancel (if need be ) AFTER the consultation. also at your resort, speak to Disney about the most convenient room. (I don't know where you are staying, but all resorts have soom rooms that are more convenient than others)

About Guest Assistance Cards - the only 'go to the front' cards are for children on Make a Wish or similar trips.
Guest Assistance Cards are meant to give accommodations that people need related to a disability. The accommodations can involve things like a cooler place to wait, but many attractions have waiting lines that are inside and/or air conditioned. Also, the distance walked is usually not going to be any shorter whether using a GAC or not, so he would still need the ECV.
If you want more information about GACs, follow the link in my signature to the disABILITIES FAQs thread. Post #6 is about GACs and post #2 has information about renting ECVs and wheelchairs.

My best friend was visiting her son in TN when she had a heart attack.
She ended up being transported 2 hours to a hospital in Nashville and had emergency bypass surgery. She is lucky that she survived the ambulance trip, they could not helicopter her due to the weather. After the surgery, she went to her son's house until she was cleared to travel home. She was cleared to fly home 1 month after her surgery.

Are you, your husband, your children prepared to deal with any problems that may occur while on vacation?
What about additional living/hotel expenses that may occur if he was to because ill and could not travel home?
Can you or your children be away from work/home for the length of time that it could take for him to recover enough to come home?
If you had to come home with the remainder of the family, does your husband want to be there alone while he goes through what needs to be done?

to your family

I presume that since this is an ongoing health issues your children are aware of what is going on. Have you asked them their opinion on going or not?


If it were me, I would postpone. If you were not aware of any problem and something happened that is one thing, but knowing that there are serious problems that need immediate attention is another.

Those are all good questions to think about before you go.
Hopefully, nothing will happen, but if the worst does happen, at least you will have thought about what you may need to do.

If it were me, I would also postpone.

 

[disneybound31]

Just wanted to add my thoughts and prayers... it is hard to make such complicated life decisions. Keep us posted as to his condition.

 

[bumbershoot]

"so I called the Dr today. Duh me, He couldn't talk to me personally without Dh"


You need to have your husband sign a form that allows the doctor to talk to you. Hubby signed one at his endo's, so the endo actually called ME to give the official diagnosis (pituitary tumor) instead of calling hubby. I'm the one with the knowledge, the ability to ask questions, and the understanding of the terms that MDs throw off their tongues without stopping to think that not everyone has had medical terminology classes. So definitely get a really solid "doc can talk to my wife" form filled out.



My husband and I have a basic feeling that no one cares more about the individual's health than the individual, and therefore each of us has more right over our own body than the other person. Therefore, if hubby wanted to go in this situation, I might be able to say "I'm not going I don't want to be part of this", but I wouldn't be able to cancel the whole thing.

But I'll also tell you that we have seen some HORRIBLE physicians in our time. The only one who has been borderline intelligent is the endocrinologist, but the only reason he was able to diagnose this things is because we INSISTED on him running some hormone tests. And it turned out to be the answer to 3+ YEARS of symptoms and weirdness, that all the other MDs and NDs have completely ignored. So he's borderline good...he also prescribed the right drug, IMO...if he'd gone with another drug I would have protested. So again, borderline, b/c he's listened to us about what he needs to do.

Everyone else has been awful, and in our families, putting something off for a medical procedure, well, means you're not going to be doing that activity.

So from OUR perspective, I don't even think I'd be saying "I can't be part of this", I think I would say "OK, let's go, we'll put an ECV into the budget, we'll have a vacation like we've never had (relaxed), we'll play it by ear and not push ANY of us b/c we're ALL under stress".

We'd get names of the better hospitals in Orlando (I have cousins living there), I'd get a list of the cardiologists that are covered under my insurance in the area, etc etc, so we would be prepared.

And we'd go. Most likely. Unless the person with the health condition didn't want to.

But that's just our way of doing things.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm so sorry, he will be in my prayers.

I don't think you should go. Mainly because of his health. He has a good shot with the by-pass and if he goes to WDW in that poor of health, there's a good chance he won't get that chance.

Can you schedule another, different trip? Is there somewhere your DH has always wanted to go, but hasn't? That's what I'd try to talk him into. A trip that is calm and relaxing - if you can't talk him into staying home.

 

[Tower]

I am blessed to be married to the best woman in the world (IMO). I am much like the original poster's husband in wanting to have fun. A part of me also looks at the 'responsibility' portion. My wife is very pragmatic and would not hesitate to cancel/postpone any trip if it means something more important had to be taken care of.

I love my family very much and I want to give them the best, but the best I can give them is my love for a lot longer than another couple of months. As much as I would like to take the chance, my wife would have already cancelled the trip and taken everything into her own hands to be sure the best outcome could be had.

In the end, I would begrudingly agree with her because in my heart, I know she's right.

I would suggest taking control, postpone the trip to a (hopefully) better time.

 

[Disneyland_emily]

You are such an ***...

I'm with Lisa

--------

As for my thoughts- I'm mixed emotion and my question is- is there any possibility of shortening the trip down to make it more manageable financially, physically, emotionally?

Just a thought...

-em

 

[Brancaneve]

When any of us is feeling low, we need a "Disney fix." If I can't go to DL, I try to get it somewhere else.
Maybe you can cancel the trip but have Disney movie nights or buy matching shirts at the Disney store. Just connect with your experiences in a way that will be easier, cheaper and safer. I ditto taking a Disney cruise!
My prayers are with you!

 

[TammyAlphabet]

I haven't read all the comments but I wanted to say that you should do whatever he wants to do. I lost my DH 11/2 years ago and I treasure the memories of our times together. If I were in his shoes, I would want to go too.

 

[BelleWDW]

I would take care of the bypass surgery- the strain of a WDW trip could kill him.


But I am curious-

A 3,000 square foot house is huge-4, 000 is enormous. Are you sure you live in a 8,000 square foot house?

 

[eeyoregon]

You are such an ***...

I'm with Lisa

--------

Yep, I agree with both of you regarding that rude/pathetic poster but remember the golden rule: DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!! Kind of like when we were little and our Mom's told us to just ignore the mean kids....or in this case, the mean DIS'er!

And to those who seem obsessed with the square footage of a strangers house, get a life and a better job so that you can stop being so jealous!!

 

[Took]

My father had 5 bypasses done when he was 45. The procedure was quite new. He lived 18+ years more and then experienced some of the signs that he was in trouble again. Just after he retired, we learned that he four blockages and needed the surgery again. He also had a Disney trip planned
and said he was going to go and then have surgery when he got back. He would have needed a wheel chair because he could not walk far without getting out of breath. My mother would have been a nervous wreck. He postponed his trip and had the second surgery.

Today, he is 78 and still enjoying a full life and golfs regularly.

I would encourage postponing the trip and not only because of the health and money concerns. Just think how wonderful the trip will be when you are celebrating his recovery from bypass surgery.

I wish your family the best no matter which choice you make.

Sal

I agree, Sal. I would much rather have a dad who had by-pass surgery, recovered, and lived for years than a week at WDW. Hopefully, the OP's DH will be around for many more years after the surgery.

Took

 

[parkers*momma]

You are such an ***...

I would take care of the bypass surgery- the strain of a WDW trip could kill him.


But I am curious-

A 3,000 square foot house is huge-4, 000 is enormous. Are you sure you live in a 8,000 square foot house?

It's a turn of the century Victorian style home with rumors of the underground railroad. It was built in the 1800's with a full basment and three floors plus we added an small 800 ft. apartment for my father(should he ever need to move in someday). We've spent the past 20 years restoring it to original or as close as possible with the exception of the apartment. It is a big house but with our crew, we needed the space .

Honestly, it's ok to wonder if it is a typo or if we are just insane. We are insane but 20 years ago, the price was VERY reasonable, we had a growing family (still growing with all the grandbabies coming) and we could see the potential this old house had/has.

We kindly refer to the house as our Money Pit Rose Red (two of DH's Favorite movies). Our plan was to sale it when all the children moved out and even talked about it before the market went haywire last fall and maybe buy a small 10 room house. I admit, it is WAY to much house but it is nice to have a place for our families to stay when they come to Ohio, for our children or their friends when they are down on their luck and as silly as this sounds...my kids all come home Christmas Eve with their families and spend the night. I'm really going to miss that when we do sale the house.

Realistically, we need to sale it but right now just isn't a good time.