WWYD-CANCEL or GO??

[lila]

It's not a tough choice to me. I would rather have my dad than a memory. Postpone it.

 

[Capo]

First of all, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, really.

I agree with the others, I would not risk the heat, rides, etc. during the trip. Also, your minds would be so focused on the surgery that it would be hard to relax.

My opinion is to delay the trip and have the surgery when the doctor's say it needs to happen. Once it is done and your husband is rested, reschedule the trip a few months later, during a cooler month.

 

[Kriii]

I'm so sorry for everything. Personally, I wouldn't risk his health further for a vacation. Your family can still make some special memories together doing things far less taxing than a WDW vacation. You don't have to decide anything right now though. Since you are feeling undecided and stressed, it might be a good idea to postpone your decision until you are thinking more clearly. I hope things go well with the surgery. God bless.

 

[mom of 3G's]

I am so sorry to hear of your DH health. I know how much you have been looking forward to this trip. If I were in your shoes, I know that I would find it very hard to cancel, but yet I would know that it would be the right thing to do. I would worry that something would happen to him down there when you are away from your home and that would add to the stress of the situation. Does the airline give you any credit if you were to cancel? Can you move your reservation to another time and avoid the cancellation fee? I know you are going to eat some of the costs for the tickets, etc., but in the long run it will be worth it and hopefully you can look back on it in 6 months and say "can you believe we were worked up for nothing? I can't believe we cancelled our trip."

I have gotten to know you through the stroller swap and I know you have a way of thinking things through, and you will come up with the decision that is best for you and your family.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

to you and your family, I am sorry you are in this situation. What about a shorter trip that will allow you to save more money and to have the trip you all want? As far as his health, discuss it with his doctor and express all of your concerns. Best of luck to you.

 

[Leajess99]

I am so sorry your family is going through this. I would probably go BUT with making your dh understand that he is not riding the coasters. My dad promised to take me to WDW when he retired from the Army. He died 18 months shy of retiring. I was very sad to lose my dad at 9 and until last October I had never been to WDW. Last October I made it a point to take my kids to WDW so they got that experience. This year we are going again in October.

Life is short and if this is what he wants to do with you and his child than let him. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Many prayers are going out for your family.

 

[Va-bear]

It's not a tough choice to me. I would rather have my dad than a memory. Postpone it.

Exactly!!

Cancel. I would feel differently if he had a terminal illness - a stage 4 brain tumor or similar. But, he could live a looong time with this surgery (my dad had a 5-way bypass and was told after the surgery it _might_ have bought him 5 years.... he was not expected to live long. He lived 15 years and I am so thankful for that!) To go ride roller coasters when he could be having life saving surgery just seems selfish, to be painfully honest. His daughter needs him (and you too.)

(And to say it must not be THAT urgent if the appt isnt for some time [as another poster said....] is simply not accurate. It can takes weeks or months to see a good cardiologist and even longer to get the surgery scheduled, even in very critical cases. But, be prepared for changes. They gave my dad a surgery date that was 2 months away and then they called and said another patient had died so a slot opened up early. He had one week to prepare - it really changed a lot of plans and shook him to the core to have to be mentally ready that fast. But, it was life saving surgery, so in he went.)

Take good care - of you and DH - good luck with it all.

ps - your point about money is a very good one too. My Dad had complications from surgery - a leak needed to be repaired, which means recracking the chest, etc. He missed much more work than he expected.....Lots of co-pays, etc. It really wiped my parents out.

 

[Sal]

My father had 5 bypasses done when he was 45. The procedure was quite new. He lived 18+ years more and then experienced some of the signs that he was in trouble again. Just after he retired, we learned that he four blockages and needed the surgery again. He also had a Disney trip planned
and said he was going to go and then have surgery when he got back. He would have needed a wheel chair because he could not walk far without getting out of breath. My mother would have been a nervous wreck. He postponed his trip and had the second surgery.

Today, he is 78 and still enjoying a full life and golfs regularly.

I would encourage postponing the trip and not only because of the health and money concerns. Just think how wonderful the trip will be when you are celebrating his recovery from bypass surgery.

I wish your family the best no matter which choice you make.

Sal

 

[eeyoregon]

Another vote for holding off on the trip.

My dad had a quad bypass and has multiple stints, a pacemaker and and a defibrulator. His cardiologist told him to avoid ANY physical exertion in temperatures over 80 degrees. The heart has to work 10 times hard in high heat and humidity. He will have increased fluid retention which will make the heart work even harder to eliminate the excess fluid.

If it were me, I would much rather see my husband head into surgery with the strongest heart possible and a trip to Disney that time of year would greatly strain/damage an already sick heart.

I say get him thru the surgery and healed and then kick up your heels and celebrate BIG time at WDW!!!

You and your family will be in my thoughts!

Gina

 

[SunnieRN]

Honestly, I would go with your husband to his doctor appointments, general, cardiologist and surgeon, to see what their opinions are about the trip, heat, roller coasters.

My Dad had a quintuple bypass about 6 years ago. He never had a heart attack prior to that however, so that does change things in this scenario. His cardiologist, prior to surgery told him he could do what he felt up to doing, but if he had any chest pain to rest, try his nitro and if he continued to have problems to go directly to ER.

One of the first things that your post made me think of is flying. His cardiologist didn't want him to fly. So, ask questions, call if he doesn't have scheduled appointments. At the end of the day though, he is an adult. You can certainly give him your opinion and discuss how you are feeling and your worries about the future. Hopefully you will be able to reach a decision together, I'll be keeping you in my prayers during this hard time.

 

[Letsbgoofy]

Another vote for cancelling the trip.

Florida in September is so hot and humid and WDW involves so much walking. As for the coasters...my Dhs father died of a heart attack in front of him and it's not ever something you come to terms with. If your husband uses the "at least I will die doing something I love" reasoning again, please remind him that not only your daughter but a lot of other children on that ride should not have to live through that. Not a flame on him, I do understand his point of view but wonder if he has thought about the effect on others.

I'm so sorry for your family. It will be a hard decision either way. Good luck

 

[RNMOM]

You have a lot of issues on your shoulders. I'm sorry it is so hard.

Frankly, I would simply tell him how stressed out you are about this and that it will be really hard to enjoy it. Seriously I would be worried sick the whole trip and watching him like a hawk. That is no way to spend a WDW trip, IMHO.

Can you plan something closer to home that will be a lot of fun? Perhaps somewhere the kids can still ride horses and you can all kick back and relax more. Many of us have had to cancel trips and we live through it. Really, we did. Best of luck to all of you.

 

[Veronica Lodge]

I would cancel the trip, too, and try to find a less expensive, more relaxation-oriented vacation, maybe to the beach or the mountains or something like that. The heat, humidity, stress of rides and all of that walking would make me a nervous wreck worrying about my DH.

 

[wdwfan16]

I would go on the trip but with a few stipulations.

1) I would get the green light from the Dr.
2) I would have a talk with DD about the coasters. She can ride alone. Maybe take a friend to ride with her.
3) DH would have to agree to be in a wheel chair.
4) We would all agree to take it much slower.

 

[kacaju]

my dh is on coumadin (blood thinner) and while we were at Disney he pulled his hamstring. by the time we were almost done with our trip his leg was very, very black and blue. We did go to the medi center at Epcot to have him checked out. My biggest fear was his blood levels were off and I didn't want him dying at Disney. The happiest place on earth and my kids would be scared for life if their Dad died there!!

 

[VAN]

Be firm and tell your DH you are making the adult decision and the trip will be ... POSTPONED.

Let him know that you CANNOT possibly enjoy the trip knowing that he could have an episode at any moment. That it is not fair to you or your DD to be under that kind of stress. And then what if something happened? You'd be in the position of dealing with it on your own to get him proper care etc.

What if he died on the trip? Well WDW would be ruined forever for you!!!

Be firm. Just reading your post told me that you know what has to be done. Just tell him the trip is not cancelled, just postponed ... then take care of selecting new dates when he can enjoy the trip with you and your DD.

There is no way I'd be able to enjoy myself on a trip with someone I love that is a ticking time bomb!!

 

[Crisgw]

I would definitely postpone the trip. I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that. If you are going down to one income, have you thought of ways that you could eliminate some recurring monthly costs (ie. downsizing, selling a car, etc...?) September in WDW is KILLER hot and humid. I think it wouldn't be enjoyable for anyone seeing your DH suffering I will keep my eyes open for your updates.

 

[stephgles]

Personally I would go. The reason I am stating that is my fil wanted to go before he past away. We were suppose to go but the time that fit everyones schedule my dh step sister decided to have her college graduation party that weekend. She knew we were planning it and there was no way my fil was going to get his wife not to go to the party.

Well when we started looking at the calendar for us to go again he made a turn for the worse and needlesstosay, we never did make it. That is something me and my dh discuss on a regular basis.

Best of luck on your decision. Prayers to you and your family as well.

P. S. Can you contact your heating company to see if you can go on some type of budget program. Maybe that could help with the cost of your heat.

 

[arielmomma]

I am not going to encourage you either way. I am so sorry that your family is experiencing such a difficult and life changing event. This is such a personal decision between you and your family. My advice is to pray about it, seriously discuss it with your family, and come to a conclusion together. You never know what tomorrow will bring no matter which one you choose, but at least if you decide together and do so with open eyes, you will know hat you did what was best for your family. God bless you!

 

[disneyfantotheend]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I would postpone. Do not say cancel, it sounds too permanant.

It is fine to say tell him no roller coasters, but will he really listen? I could not go on a vacation and have a good time, knowing that at any minute the fun can be over and you could be rushing your DH to the hospital or worse.

Maybe if the doctors said it was okay, I would change my mind, but if his heart is in distress, I can't imagine them approving him riding roller coasters and being out and active in the heat all day. I would say for sure they would suggest a wheelchair/ecv and no thrill rides, but again will your DH listen?

It might have been a last chance for him to go. But that also means that maybe he will be okay after the surgery and have several more trips in the future. I just don't think the risk is worth it. Sorry!

But I do think you and your DH have to make the decision. I would not cancel if it was just for the money, but for his health I would.