Would You Sit at a Saved Table?

[crashbb]

I always hated it when my wife and I would rush home from work and get ready to go to one of the kids school events, rush over there to try to get a good seat only to find out that there are only 10 humans in the room but 75 of the best seats are "reserved."

We finally learned that the "trick" was kids putting a note on them to reserve them for parents to be able to arrive close to event start time and have good seats.

Face it, this time your skirting common rules of fairness didn't work. I have a feeling that most of the time you do get your way and you are most likely way ahead of the "rule following" curve.

I read that too quickly.

I thought you were putting notes on the kids.

 

[LuvLDM]

Bringing up past posts of posters to make that poster look foolish sounds like bullying to me. I only quoted you, but I have seen several people do this on this thread. This is becoming more and more common. The rub the nose in the poop method.

Bullying, really? I disagree.

"The rub the nose in the poop method"...was that pun intentional?

 

[Deb in IA]

I read that too quickly.

I thought you were putting notes on the kids.

 

[stashbin]

And yet another person overuses that word.

I disagree. If you go back and read some of the posts, some disers are using past posts of the OP to make her look foolish and then poking fun. I just don't think that's fair. Lord knows...if I were posting something and someone went back and used something I said in another thread from months back, there is no telling what they would find. All I am saying is it seems a little like bullying on the playground.

 

[LuvLDM]

No, it doesn't bother me in the slightest when people disagree with me. We all have different opinions. It's the meanness in the disagreeing that I find unnecessary. And the bringing up of previous threads and posting a private message is just so extremely childish. Thankfully I do have thick skin, and can just shake my head at posters who don't know how to respectfully disagree without all of the added nonsense.

I find it highly amusing that you of all people would deem someone elses behavior childish...pot, meet kettle.

 

[stashbin]

Bullying, really? I disagree.

"The rub the nose in the poop method"...was that pun intentional?

umm, no. I have no idea what you mean. I don't go back months and months and read previous posts to reply on current ones.

 

[NaLisa]

I always hated it when my wife and I would rush home from work and get ready to go to one of the kids school events, rush over there to try to get a good seat only to find out that there are only 10 humans in the room but 75 of the best seats are "reserved."

We finally learned that the "trick" was kids putting a note on them to reserve them for parents to be able to arrive close to event start time and have good seats.

Face it, this time your skirting common rules of fairness didn't work. I have a feeling that most of the time you do get your way and you are most likely way ahead of the "rule following" curve.

Yep. Performances at our school feature two showings and they're always packed. You'd get there 30 minutes before the show only to have to sit in the very back because all the good seats were "reserved." Signs, backpacks, whatever. But no people.

I was delighted when the school stopped allowing ANY saving of seats because so many people abused the practice of reserving seats. Saving one I can see, but saving a whole table because you might have family members show up is just inconsiderate of the other people attending the performance.

 

[crashbb]

I disagree. If you go back and read some of the posts, some disers are using past posts of the OP to make her look foolish and then poking fun. I just don't think that's fair. Lord knows...if I were posting something and someone went back and used something I said in another thread from months back, there is no telling what they would find. All I am saying is it seems a little like bullying on the playground.

So, if you were having a real life conversation with someone, you would never mention something that they had said/done in the past? You wouldn't look for/discuss patterns of behaviour? To you, doing so would be bullying? I don't see what is unfair about looking at patterns of behaviour and I definitely don't see it as bullying.

 

[stashbin]

Really? That is considered bullying?

Well it kind of is to me. I mean the way the past posts are being brought up and then poked fun at to demean the OP for saving seats....IDK...just seems a little uncalled for. Whether or not you agree with her seat saving methods, why intentionally go back and search for statements she may have said in the past to poke fun? That's all I am saying.

 

[basketkat]

At a school function, I would have thought that the chairs that had things placed on them were saved, but not the whole table!
So I might sit at empty chairs at that same table....

Yes this is what I was thinking as well....

 

[wvjules]

umm, no. I have no idea what you mean. I don't go back months and months and read previous posts to reply on current ones.

I didn't go back months and months either. I just happened to remember that this poster had a previous issue with her "Space". How is that bullying? And how is it poking fun?

 

[NHdisneylover]

For what it is worth I now feel compelled to give my two cents worth on two other issues

1. I think it is okay and often valid to bring up a poster's history if it is relevant to the thread in question. The same often happens in real life (as it should); part of how you chose to judge a situation with a friend/coworker/child/etc will be based on your knowledge of how that person has handled similar situations in the past. I do, howver, think there are ways of bringing such thinsg up that are resepctful and ways which are really rude. I see both on the DIS a lot and much prefer the respectful route

2. It seems to me that a PM makes sense when, for example, you want to alert someone that they might want to remove identifying information from a post without alerting the rest of the internet to that information's presence, OR if you want to send someone your email address, etc. Responding to the information that the conversation in a thread is about but choosing to do it privately even though it is relevant to the thread as a whole seems odd to me and almost either cowardly (too afraid to have "everyone" see you opinion) OR aggressive (going after just that one poster). What was posted did not seem like anything that needed to be in a PM. I would not want to respond to that in anything but a public fashion either--so it was clear that I was not engaging in inappropriate insults, etc. I doubt I would have posted it, but I would have posted that I would be happy to respond to the issues in the PM publicly if publicly asked or something along those lines.

 

[LilyWDW]

Really? That is considered bullying?

Everything is considered bullying these days...

And if you post something on the internet and in a public forum, then you should expect it to come back up. If you don't want it to, then don't post it in the first place. That is just in general and a good tip when it comes to anything.

As for this situation, 2 backpacks does not hold a table for 10. It holds a table for 2. If you want to be sure to get the seats you want, then you get there earlier and sit yourself at that table. Who really cares WHY the older woman wanted to sit there. Obviously, there was a reason. However, you did not have a body at the table but were trying to hold a table for 10 with 2 bags. Nope, doesn't fly, sorry.

 

[stashbin]

So, if you were having a real life conversation with someone, you would never mention something that they had said/done in the past? You wouldn't look for/discuss patterns of behaviour? To you, doing so would be bullying? I don't see what is unfair about looking at patterns of behaviour and I definitely don't see it as bullying.

Well in real life you can sense someone's tone but on the internet you can not. So when I read something, I interpret it as I interpret it. KWIM...it just seems to me that the last couple of pages of the thread were starting to get nasty...for no reason. And believe me, I am not trying to make it worse..I just said what I was thinking as a response to what I read.

 

[stashbin]

I didn't go back months and months either. I just happened to remember that this poster had a previous issue with her "Space". How is that bullying? And how is it poking fun?

Well the fact that she PM'd you and you copied and pasted it into the forum screams you are trying to front her out. Also, just imagine you are standing around talking with folks about a topic. Everyone is disagreeing with you and then they start talking about past things you have said amongst each other with you standing right there. That's what the past two pages have seemed like TO ME. Now, of course this is a discussion thread, but IMO it turned rude about page 6 or 7.
You can always agree to disagree.

 

[tlbwriter]

Sometimes people will take a stand in one direction on one thread, and reverse it in another thread. I don't think there's anything wrong with pointing out the hypocrisy. Sometimes people will say something in one thread that gives more insight into a current thread. I don't see anything wrong with mentioning the additional backstory. Sometimes people will state a fact in one thread, and contradict it in another thread. I don't see anything wrong with pointing out that one of these things must be untrue. If I were having a conversation with you in person, I wouldn't pretend to forget everything you've ever told me in the past.

 

[wvjules]

Well the fact that she PM'd you and you copied and pasted it into the forum screams you are trying to front her out. Also, just imagine you are standing around talking with folks about a topic. Everyone is disagreeing with you and then they start talking about past things you have said amongst each other with you standing right there. That's what the past two pages have seemed like TO ME. Now, of course this is a discussion thread, but IMO it turned rude about page 6 or 7.
You can always agree to disagree.

 

[stashbin]

for what it is worth i now feel compelled to give my two cents worth on two other issues

1. I think it is okay and often valid to bring up a poster's history if it is relevant to the thread in question. The same often happens in real life (as it should); part of how you chose to judge a situation with a friend/coworker/child/etc will be based on your knowledge of how that person has handled similar situations in the past. i do, howver, think there are ways of bringing such thinsg up that are resepctful and ways which are really rude. I see both on the dis a lot and much prefer the respectful route

2. It seems to me that a pm makes sense when, for example, you want to alert someone that they might want to remove identifying information from a post without alerting the rest of the internet to that information's presence, or if you want to send someone your email address, etc. Responding to the information that the conversation in a thread is about but choosing to do it privately even though it is relevant to the thread as a whole seems odd to me and almost either cowardly (too afraid to have "everyone" see you opinion) or aggressive (going after just that one poster). What was posted did not seem like anything that needed to be in a pm. i would not want to respond to that in anything but a public fashion either--so it was clear that i was not engaging in inappropriate insults, etc. I doubt i would have posted it, but i would have posted that i would be happy to respond to the issues in the pm publicly if publicly asked or something along those lines.

ita

 

[stashbin]

Sometimes people will take a stand in one direction on one thread, and reverse it in another thread. I don't think there's anything wrong with pointing out the hypocrisy. Sometimes people will say something in one thread that gives more insight into a current thread. I don't see anything wrong with mentioning the additional backstory. Sometimes people will state a fact in one thread, and contradict it in another thread. I don't see anything wrong with pointing out that one of these things must be untrue. If I were having a conversation with you in person, I wouldn't pretend to forget everything you've ever told me in the past.

Yes but is when you begin to discuss those hypocrisies with others instead of the OP that it becomes sticky. Just go back and read pages 6-8 and you will see what I am talking about. It's all so catty!

 

[FireDancer]

Bringing up past posts of posters to make that poster look foolish sounds like bullying to me. I only quoted you, but I have seen several people do this on this thread. This is becoming more and more common. The rub the nose in the poop method.

Sweet. Ok, we have bullying. Can we please get someone to bring up a hidden disability and then have someone else over-analyze a humorous post so we can get the DIS trifecta?