Would You Sit at a Saved Table?

[wvjules]

Well, we wouldn't want you to miss the fun.

Here you go.

Bully!

 

[luvmythree]

Bully!

 

[luvmy3]

Bully!

No, he's not a bully, he has a rare disorder that forces him to re-post the most disgusting threads on the DIS.

 

[kbeverina]

I think you were quite rude. You got there a half hour before the event and there were still plenty of tables available so obviously there was no need to save a table in the first place. You just wanted that particular table. You then tried to make the other lady so uncomfortable that she moved, even though she was there first. Again, very rude. I imagine she knew exactly what you were doing and decided she wasn't going to reward your rudeness.

Since there's no need to save a table to get a table, next time arriver earlier if you have your heart set on a particular table.

 

[lillygator]

Has nothing to do with not wanting to be social. Has everything to do with not being completely sure if we were going to need the entire table or not until everyone got there. If, after our entire party got there, late-comers needed to sit down that would have been completely fine.

Okay, I should have said "potential whole table full of people to move", since everyone wasn't there yet and I didn't know if DS's fiance was bringing her girls too, sorry.



There was no butt to put into a chair when the table was saved. The grandkids put their things on the table to save it, then they had other duties to tend to before the concert started. My Mom, DD and I got there at 6:30 (concert started at 7:00). There were maybe a dozen cars in the parking lot at that time, very few people in the actual auditorium (thus the reason for many open tables still) and we stopped to hug the grandkids and speak to their Mother first, then I happened to notice the woman sitting at the table and we went over after that to sit down.

sorry, if you want to save seats, butts need to be in them....

op was the only rude one. talking about how many seats they need like the lady wasnt even there. good for the lady for calling the op out on this one. it is so rude to talk over someone in the hopes that they "get" what you are trying to do. love the lady for not taking it. next time tip the chairs into the table that you are using.

For what it is worth I now feel compelled to give my two cents worth on two other issues

1. I think it is okay and often valid to bring up a poster's history if it is relevant to the thread in question. The same often happens in real life (as it should); part of how you chose to judge a situation with a friend/coworker/child/etc will be based on your knowledge of how that person has handled similar situations in the past. I do, howver, think there are ways of bringing such thinsg up that are resepctful and ways which are really rude. I see both on the DIS a lot and much prefer the respectful route

2. It seems to me that a PM makes sense when, for example, you want to alert someone that they might want to remove identifying information from a post without alerting the rest of the internet to that information's presence, OR if you want to send someone your email address, etc. Responding to the information that the conversation in a thread is about but choosing to do it privately even though it is relevant to the thread as a whole seems odd to me and almost either cowardly (too afraid to have "everyone" see you opinion) OR aggressive (going after just that one poster). What was posted did not seem like anything that needed to be in a PM. I would not want to respond to that in anything but a public fashion either--so it was clear that I was not engaging in inappropriate insults, etc. I doubt I would have posted it, but I would have posted that I would be happy to respond to the issues in the PM publicly if publicly asked or something along those lines.

exactly, she sent a pm that was relevant to this thread...why not post here? seems fishy.

 

[Kathi OD]

Well, we wouldn'twant you to miss the fun.

Here you go.

Thanks, Frank. Somehow I missed all that fun, too.

Bully!

Was waiting for that one...

No, he's not a bully, he has a rare disorder that forces him to re-post the most disgusting threads on the DIS.

I just find it incredulous that you would save seats for someone you aren't sure will show.

 

[Deb in IA]

Well, we wouldn't want you to miss the fun.

Here you go.

Thanks! I'd forgotten that little gem!!
A classic!

Bully!

I think you were quite rude. You got there a half hour before the event and there were still plenty of tables available so obviously there was no need to save a table in the first place. You just wanted that particular table. You then tried to make the other lady so uncomfortable that she moved, even though she was there first. Again, very rude. I imagine she knew exactly what you were doing and decided she wasn't going to reward your rudeness.

Since there's no need to save a table to get a table, next time arriver earlier if you have your heart set on a particular table.

I totally agree.

I think OP was mad because she happened to run into someone who didn't put up with her passive-aggressivity.

 

[Ceila]

I see it at EVERY.SINGLE.SCHOOL.EVENT. 1 person comes in atleast an hour early & puts programs or whatever on a whole row or 2 for their family. It annoys the snot out of me. Those are usually the same people who stroll in after the start of the program & cause a distraction. I will say the one person who does it stays the whole time but is still annoying. Some of us can't get there an hour or 2 before the event so we get burned.

But at least they've clearly marked which seats they intend to use. The OP's family just tossed a couple of backpacks on top of a table and expected everyone to know that they wanted the entire table reserved for them!

In the interest of full disclosure, I am an early-arriver, but my family all comes early with me (including grandparents). There are usually no more than 6-8 of us total. The only seat I save is for my husband, and I'll put my coat on it so nobody has to guess whether that seat is being used. Everyone else who needs a seat is sitting right there with me. I know I might get flamed for saving a seat for DH, but it's OK, I can take it, lol!

 

[Aisling]

exactly, she sent a pm that was relevant to this thread...why not post here? seems fishy.

And the PM was posted here! That's low.

 

[crashbb]

Oh my Wow

Which why, for better or for worse, the OP (in my mind) will always be "the one who defended the mailing using a yard as a toilet".

Trust me, I didn't go back through the OP's threads to find it.

 

[jrmasm]

But at least they've clearly marked which seats they intend to use. The OP's family just tossed a couple of backpacks on top of a table and expected everyone to know that they wanted the entire table reserved for them!

In the interest of full disclosure, I am an early-arriver, but my family all comes early with me (including grandparents). There are usually no more than 6-8 of us total. The only seat I save is for my husband, and I'll put my coat on it so nobody has to guess whether that seat is being used. Everyone else who needs a seat is sitting right there with me. I know I might get flamed for saving a seat for DH, but it's OK, I can take it, lol!

That wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

No seating saving is allowed at our school events so people show up 2 hours early. I always end up in the verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry back and then the people in front of me let their kid stand on his/her chair.

 

[kbeverina]

I think OP was mad because she happened to run into someone who didn't put up with her passive-aggressivity.

I'm not gonna lie, I would probably just sit there, too, pretending not to know what was going on.

On the other hand, if I sat there not realizing the entire table was reserved, and the OP arrived and smiled and sat down and not said anything, I would have gotten up and offered my seat as soon as I realized other family members were arriving and were going to take seats at other tables. I would have done that happily.

 

[design_mom]

I've never been to a school function that had "tables" like that. The chairs are usually arranged in rows. If there's something on the chair, then I'll choose someplace else. If there were large tables, I would probably stay away from the chairs that had personal items on them, but I would not necessarily assume that the whole table was reserved.

I also think it's odd that you consider it "your table" since you always sit there. How is someone else supposed to know that? I agree with the others who think you should have moved to a different table if there weren't enough seats.

I recently went to my daughter's school concert. I got there relatively early and there were still lots of empty seats near the front. I sat in one and a guy in the row behind said that the seat was saved. I moved to the row behind and the guy told me that *that* seat was saved to. I ended up moving even farther because I didn't want to have a confrontation...but I thought that was ridiculous. There were not items on the seats....just some guy telling people nobody else could sit there.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Which why, for better or for worse, the OP (in my mind) will always be "the one who defended the mailing using a yard as a toilet".

Trust me, I didn't go back through the OP's threads to find it.

Same here.

Sorry, but my FIRST thought after reading the OP was, "The pooping mailman, you defended, but THIS you consider rude??"

 

[crashbb]

exactly, she sent a pm that was relevant to this thread...why not post here? seems fishy.

If anyone on this thread was a bully, I find the OP's behaviour (in regards to the PM) to be that of a bully. She wanted to chastise another poster, but, like many bullies, was too scared to do so in front of others but had to do it when the other poster was alone.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I've never been to a school function that had "tables" like that. The chairs are usually arranged in rows. If there's something on the chair, then I'll choose someplace else. If there were large tables, I would probably stay away from the chairs that had personal items on them, but I would not necessarily assume that the whole table was reserved.

I also think it's odd that you consider it "your table" since you always sit there. How is someone else supposed to know that? I agree with the others who think you should have moved to a different table if there weren't enough seats.

I recently went to my daughter's school concert. I got there relatively early and there were still lots of empty seats near the front. I sat in one and a guy in the row behind said that the seat was saved. I moved to the row behind and the guy told me that *that* seat was saved to. I ended up moving even farther because I didn't want to have a confrontation...but I thought that was ridiculous. There were not items on the seats....just some guy telling people nobody else could sit there.

I think it is ironic that others are being called bullies on this thread in ligth of that behaviour. I do not think this was bullying by anybody, but isn't one of the classic bullying scenes in movies and TV shows the high school bully telling the new kid or nerdy kid that they have sat at "their" (the bully's) table and must move? it is even very often portrayed as the bully and his/her friends passive aggressively talking among themselves, loudly, in front of the bullied kid (and loud enough for half the cafeteria to hear) about how some dweeb has come along and sat in THEIR spot.
Again, while I DO think the OP was rude (for more than one reason), I do not think she was being a bully--but it IS funny to me how the whole "our table" thing aligns with that stereotypical scene.

 

[Aisling]

If anyone on this thread was a bully, I find the OP's behaviour (in regards to the PM) to be that of a bully. She wanted to chastise another poster, but, like many bullies, was too scared to do so in front of others but had to do it when the other poster was alone.

That's what PrivateMessages are for! To say things you can't/won't/don't want to say in public. People do it ALL the time. And what if the OP was scared to post it in public? So the other person POSTS IT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MEANT TO BE PRIVATE? And you think that's OK?

And you don't think that's worse than saving tables in a school?? People are really losing their integrity.

 

[scrapquitler]

And I do like your idea of tipping the chairs into the table, we'll remember that for next time.

I don't like this idea at all. It always makes me nervous that someone is going to trip on the leg of the chair that is sticking out into the space where someone would be walking by, perhaps not noticing it. I say this only because I tend to be a real klutz and trip over EVERYTHING.

 

[NHdisneylover]

If anyone on this thread was a bully, I find the OP's behaviour (in regards to the PM) to be that of a bully. She wanted to chastise another poster, but, like many bullies, was too scared to do so in front of others but had to do it when the other poster was alone.

Yet again, I agree with you

 

[crashbb]

That's what PrivateMessages are for! To say things you can't/won't/don't want to say in public. People do it ALL the time. And what if the OP was scared to post it in public? So the other person POSTS IT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MEANT TO BE PRIVATE? And you think that's OK?

And you don't think that's worse than saving tables in a school?? People are really losing their integrity.

I was speaking specifically to things said on this thread (so, the actual seat saving issue was not being considered).

Once the PM is sent, it belongs the one receiving it (not the one sending it). If that person chooses to post it (send it out in an email to others, take out at ad in the New York Times for it, etc.) that is their right. It is not something that I would do, but I recognize that it is their right to do so (so I would never send a PM that I was scared about showing up on the board, unless it was to someone I knew and trusted).

And the OP being too scared to post it in public was my point (and the mark of a bully, in my opinion) - wants to seem big and scary by chastising another poster, but needs to do it behind a curtain.