Would you let your teen daughter dress like this for Halloween?

[DVCLiz]

Why is it inappropriate? Last year while we were out, a group of girls walked by dressed as Dorothy (the sexy version) Bo Peep and something else I can't remember. This group of guys - not teens, probably the dads of some of the kids trick or treating - were making highly inappropriate comments about the girks after they passed. I can't fault anyone for not wanting some creepy guy checking their dd up adn down and saying something like "oh yeah, I'd hit that...". There are pervs out there, and it would piss me off if I saw someone looking at my girl in that way. I think parents should just use good judgment, make alternations to tone it down as necessary, and if you do decide to let you dd wear a costume like this, talk to them about your concerns.

On the other hand, though, those same kind of comments could be made about any teen walking through the mall, dressed in any modest way, by any number of men who might see her and want to talk about what he might like to do to her in front of his friends. Short of keeping her locked in the house, I don't think any teen daughter is immune from this kind of treatment, at any place.

 

[Disneyland_Mama]

First off, I am going to say, a few of those costumes don't look too hootchy. The Sailor one is ok, sans the thigh highs and hooker shoes. IMO, the "girls" modeling the costumes aren't teen "aged".
Secondly, I would hope my daugher would not want to wear any of these costumes. I just don't think they are appropriate for a teenaged girl.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

On the other hand, though, those same kind of comments could be made about any teen walking through the mall, dressed in any modest way, by any number of men who might see her and want to talk about what he might like to do to her in front of his friends. Short of keeping her locked in the house, I don't think any teen daughter is immune from this kind of treatment, at any place.

Very true. But come on - a short dress, thigh high stockings, ruffle panties and stilletto heels are quite different from modest everyday wear. All I know is that my dd would have to walk over her daddy's cold dead body before she walked out of ours house looking like something out of a Fredericks of Hollywood catalog! To each their own.

 

[my4kids]

Never said all.

I also speak from experience. I had my share of teenage sex and only once did the girls' parents think their child was sexually active (had got her BCP's).

Oh- well by all means let's base all teenage girls on that sampling. You are judging teenage girls based on all the ones you slept with? There is a bit of a problem with that test group don't ya think? If you were sleeping with them, they were all sexually active. What about the girls who were not sexually active?

 

[FreshTressa]

Secondly, I would hope my daugher would not want to wear any of these costumes. I just don't think they are appropriate for a teenaged girl.

Yah...I do worry a bit about the girl that WANTS to look like that.

 

[cardaway]

Apology accepted.

There is middle ground here not just "prim and proper" or "cheap and trashy"
If trashy is your thing, hey knock yourself out.

And people are saying these costumes are middle ground, not cheap and trashy.

 

[cardaway]

No, I don't need to re-think what I said. However, YOU need to read what was actually said rather than use your twisted mind to come up up with whacko conclusions.

If thinking differently than you is twisted, I can accept that. I would be concerned if we agreed.

 

[cardaway]

Oh- well by all means let's base all teenage girls on that sampling.

Obviously you are going to ignore that I never said all.

 

[jan/cape]

I would let my daughter wear the costme because it is usually so cold in Massachusetts on Halloween night that they have to wear coats/ LOL

 

[poohandwendy]

I am still trying to figure out how a radio poll is being done on costumes. ??

Anyways, there are different teen ages (13 and 17, totally different).

I would not allow my teen DD to walk out of the house looking like that, but my DH would beat me to it and she wouldn't make it out of her room...so it's sort of a moot point.

However, each one of those costumes could very easily be toned down to an appropriate level. So, I would not discount them based on these pictures of seemingly ADULT women.

And, the way some of these ideas are going, they seem waaaaaaaaaaaaay too close to the "she was asking for it*, just look at the way she was dressed", *with the it part of that being molested or worse.

Of course no one ever deserves to be raped or molested no matter what they are wearing. But, that does not stop me from drilling it into my DDs heads that the way they dress ABSOLUTELY will affect the way they are judged/treated. That sometimes you can attract negative attention by dressing provocatively. They need to aware of that. It's no different than my telling them there is safety in numbers. By all rights they SHOULD be safe walking alone, but they aren't always...so it's good to think ahead.

 

[damo]

Just asked my 17 year old son his opinion. He said that he thought they would probably be fine for girls 16 and up but definitely not under that. He also said that there was no way that his school would let them wear those costumes to the hallowe'en dance.

 

[belle_of_the_ball]

HAHAHAHA

im a teen...and at my school we dress up.

we get alot of those costumes

i call them 'hos because really, i dont care if its halloween, 3rd period is too early for me to be staring down the girl who sits in front of me lack of material


btw 3rd is french....my teacher would have some choice french words about fashion for her!

 

[punkin]

Do YOU think there's a difference between 7 and 14? At 7, yes I do think it is cute. At a pre-teen or early teen age it is not. And even at that it all depends on what she looks like in the costume as a whole. Does that make sense?

I see. A 7 year old does not turn you on but a 14 year old does?

 

[smartestnumber5]

If you don't like how it makes you look, maybe you and a few others should re-think the way you have been making your point about the girls who would wear these and the parents that would buy them.

As it stands, I think Turbokitty was on to something. Lots of girls get the "she looked like she was asking for it" treatment from people.

I've been thinking along the same lines. It amazes me how easily adults on the DIS throw around derogatory names for women--imagine if people threw racial epithets around like that! I mean, what exactly is a *****? Traditionally the word means a prostitute. In broader terms the way it's used tends to pick out women who are excessively sexual, always available for sex, and who are thus condemned. That is what some of you have been implying about any girl who would want to wear such costumes (hence about some of the posters here and probably about some of your own daughters as well).

And it's exactly these types of names that get thrown at women during rape trials for the exact reasons given here--her outfit showed too much leg or cleavage. Thus, she must have been available for sex. And historically this defense in actual trials has been amazingly effective. Women have been humiliated as every detail of their outfit, body, and sexual history is torn apart on the stand. We had to institute rape shield laws to prevent women from being treated this way, though outside of the trial the media still manages to do a good job of humiliating women and sometimes parts of one's sexual history can still be admitted into evidence at trials. The "she's a *****--or at least, she was dressed like one" defense still works to some extent. Why does the extent work? Only because the term ***** and the connection btw women's dress and her sexual availability still holds currency for the average person.

 

[DVCLiz]

Very true. But come on - a short dress, thigh high stockings, ruffle panties and stilletto heels are quite different from modest everyday wear. All I know is that my dd would have to walk over her daddy's cold dead body before she walked out of ours house looking like something out of a Fredericks of Hollywood catalog! To each their own.

If she were wearing true Frederick's, she'd have to have crotchless panties on and a bra with cut-out nipples, be slathered in edible "love potion", and be holding sex toys in both hands!!!!

 

[Cool-Beans]

If she were wearing true Frederick's, she'd have to have crotchless panties on and a bra with cut-out nipples, be slathered in edible "love potion", and be holding sex toys in both hands!!!!

Well, Liz, it was nice knowing you. What will your new screen name be?

 

[Caradana]

We're going to a party as "Dancing with the Stars." I'm in something appropriately insane and neon, and he's in head-to-toe spandex with a split-front top and fake chest hair glued on with a little bit of spirit gum.

What's scarier, your daughter in that, or my 30-year-old, 6'1", 160 lb fiance in head-to-toe spandex with fake chest hair? I'd go with the fiance.

 

[TurboKitty]

I know that most who answer from here on out will only read the first page of this. I also tried to bow out of this because of how I read some posts and was getting a little passionate in my own replies.

I only came back to re-iterate some things I wanted to make very clear in my posts, and I'm not sure I have. I bolded the part I want to make VERY clear.

A.) It's very dangerous to only think of perverts as some creepy guy you don't know who's only interested in your daughter when she dresses a certain way, and, b.) the attitudes and perceptions of parents does rub off onto their children and shouldn't we at least be trying to get them to look further than the surface?

 

[*Fantasia*]

I didn't vote... You said teen daughter.. but the poll says little girl.

Little girls... NO!!!

Teenagers... It's okay just for that one night. As long as her ****s or her bootay are not out there.

 

[my4kids]

I know that most who answer from here on out will only read the first page of this. I also tried to bow out of this because of how I read some posts and was getting a little passionate in my own replies.

I only came back to re-iterate some things I wanted to make very clear in my posts, and I'm not sure I have. I bolded the part I want to make VERY clear.

A.) It's very dangerous to only think of perverts as some creepy guy you don't know who's only interested in your daughter when she dresses a certain way, and, b.) the attitudes and perceptions of parents does rub off onto their children and shouldn't we at least be trying to get them to look further than the surface?

Ok agreed, I completely agree with A and B. But why is it wrong to also want my child to have modesty? Can't I teach her to be modest AND teach my son to respect all women? Whatever your argument, there is still nothing wrong with modesty. It is not caving into what is wrong in society with men treating women wrongly based on their dress. Although these men (or people) ARE wrong, I'm not going to have my daughter fight that injustice by dressing in a manner I consider to be crude, just to show her rights. I will have her fight it with her words, and her intelligence.