Would you let your kids go to wdw 1st time with someone else?

[pilesoflaundry]

I think it's incredibly generous and unselfish for the OP to offer to take her nieces to WDW. I think some people need to remember that unlike most of us who love Disney enough to post on a board about it, there are a lot of people out there who don't really care. The OP isn't forcing the parents to give up the children's first trip, she's providing an opportunity for them to experience something they might otherwise not be able to.

It's completely uncalled for to call the OP selfish simply because she would get enjoyment out of taking her nieces, and so rude to suggest they should get their own child to take to WDW. I'd be a lot more inclined to call the unwilling parents selfish, considering their reasons for not allowing their child to go on a trip are centered around their own feelings of not being included.

Anyways, I don't have children yet but when I do and if I couldn't afford the trip myself, I couldn't imagine denying my children a trip to WDW simply because I wanted to take them (that's what selfish looks like).

I agree.

While *I* would not want my children to go without me on their first trip, I think it's very generous and kind of the OP to offer to take her nieces.

I have already told my good friend if I ever end up in the position to be able to take her kids along with mine financially I will. I have her blessing if I ever win the lotto :lol: Her husband will never go, he hates things like that and thinks disney, universal etc. are a huge waste of money. Her children really want to go and she would love for them to go even if she couldn't.

It's not like taking christmas away from a baby to everyone.

 

[Luv4Disney]

I personally wouldn't. I would want to see them experience everything for the first time with me and DH.

 

[Planogirl]

If I couldn't take DS and someone I trusted offered to take him I'd send him on with promises of lots of pictures and a few phone calls. I'd hate that I missed his first trip but I'd feel even worse if I kept him from experiencing this.

It's really pretty simple IMO. The OP offers and the parents either say yes or no, case closed. It's in no way selfish and saying that she needs her own child to take is ridiculous.

 

[eastcarolinafan]

I think someone here is in need of a Disney intervention, even on this board, and I think that would be you. I've only been to WDW about 10 times since I was a kid (first time was over 30 years ago), and yet I still can't see the importance of parents taking their children for the first time. Read the OP - there is nothing mentioned regarding the children's parents wanting to take the kids to WDW FOR THE FIRST TIME - just that they plan on taking them there eventually. Not everyone has a freaky passion for WDW, to the extent, that they would deny a vacation, a wonderful time, for their children, being purely selfish on their part. I'm guessing that, since the OP's family hasn't gotten around to taking the kids yet, they don't share the same feelings for WDW that you do, and might actually be receptive, and not insulted, to her offer.

Maybe you should leave your bubble of Dumbo, princesses, pirates, and fairies, and get with the real world. Not everyone considers taking their children to WDW for the first time a must.

Thank you for your thoughtful input -- and the polite way you presented it. I will let this representation of yourself stand alone and not respond.

Good day!

 

[Dre]

That's so great that you are willing to take your nieces to DW. I think the success of the offer will certainly be in how it is presented. I suggest you avoid reminding them of their financial difficulites. Present it like they would be doing a favor for you (which they would be if you think about it). Say that you would really like to have some company on a trip to DW because you don't like to go alone. Let them come to the conclusion on their own that it might be better for them to give up going to DW for the 1st with their children rather than them never being able to go as children. Let them think about it, give them a few days before they answer you. It will also give them a chance to discuss it with their children first to see how they feel. In the end they will do what is best for their children.

 

[disneymomma1978]

Thank you for your thoughtful input -- and the polite way you presented it. I will let this representation of yourself stand alone and not respond.

Good day!

responding to say you're not responding is kind of backwards though, isn't it?

 

[ReneeA]

If my children had never visited WDW, and we didn't have the funds to take them, then I would have no problem with a trusted relative taking them on their first trip.

I would be sad that I didn't get to be there, too, but IMO it would be incredibly selfish of me to take that experience away from them.

"Sorry, kids...you don't get to go to Disney because I don't get to go. IF we ever come up with the money, then you'll get to experience it. If we don't then you're out of luck."

OP, I think it's an incredible offer to make. If they agree, fine. If they don't want them to go, that's fine too. Either way...a very nice thing to do.

 

[duffy]

I don't know what to say here. I don't really know what it is you are even trying to say. I ..

... nevermind. I think I have reached my tolerance on this thread for tonight. I'll try again tomorrow, maybe. Have a fresh go at it.

Yeah, ok.

I'm trying to say, that if my kids had a chance to go somewhere, and I could not go, I'D LET THEM GO WITHOUT ME.

I then went on to elaborate all the different places my kids have gone, without me. If I said that they could not go, because I could not go, then they would not have gone to England. Ireland. Scotland. Poland. Brazil. Germany. The Czech Republic. France. Mexico. Many other places, that I have not been able to visit, but I didn't let that stop them from going.

 

[amyjo920]

I would and have!

My oldest (16) went with my sister-in-law about 4-5 years ago. At the time, we were in NO financial shape to be able to take 3 children down there. Because she was the oldest, she was the only one invited. That part was a little hard since I felt bad for the younger two, but the oldest was incredibly close to that specific aunt. Besides the other kids were only like 8 and 4 and I probably wouldn't have let them go. SIL was very young and while I trusted her, at 11 or 12 DD was old enough in case they would get separated. We paid for her share of the travel and some souvenirs and SIL paid for tickets and food.

It sucked not being there her first trip, but I honestly thought that would be her only opportunity. It was a short trip so there is still a lot that will be brand new to her as well when we all go in Sept.

 

[LaurenLC]

Not for their first trip.

 

[Figmificent]

Ok so I can't believe how crazy this thread has become!
We took someone else's kids for their first (and so far only trip). DH and I took his brother and 2 sisters in 2007. They were 9, 12, and 16 at the time. What we did... my DH talked to my FIL first. He spoke with his wife and we were very up front about what the cost would be to them (which was basically just spending money for the kids if I remember right.) and gave them some time to discuss it and decide. They said yes and did not tell the kids. We did it for them as a combined birthday/xmas present that year and gave them all a t-shirt with their name and disney characters, crocs with disney jibbitz in them, and a planning binder I made with scrapbooking stuff along with a note that said what was going on. They were thrilled We had a blast and as hard as I try to get their whole family to go, I just don't see it happening. Without getting into a lot of details, it seems like your in the same boat we were. I say go ahead and ask the parents, the worst they can say is no!
I do not think the OP is selfish, I don't think it's every parents dream to see WDW through their child's eyes for the first time. I definitely don't see the harm in asking the parents at all. And for the person that said she needs a child of her own, well not all of us can have them, as much as we may want them, so I suggest you watch what you say as that is very selfish and hurtful to those of us who have gone through it.

 

[ShannonMB]

Why, you ask? Did you even read the original post?

The original poster said her sister WANTS TO TAKE THE KIDS TO DISNEY WORLD but can't afford it at the moment!!!!!! I mean, how much more clear does that have to be? The woman wants to take her own darn kids to Disney World and that's that! End of story. There is no but, there is no discussion, there is no this or that or the other. The woman and her husband want to take their kids to Disney World their first time and they should be able to do that when they wish without the sister's interference.

I'm sure just about every parent in the US feels that they should, would like to, take their kids to Disney someday. I'm sure the majority think, "yeah, that would be a nice thing to do someday. Maybe we can pull it off some time in the future, we'll see." THAT is far from how you are reading in to the OPs first post, and could very well be the thought process of OPs sis/BIL. What on Earth would be the harm in her asking them (of course before anything was said to the kids).

The OP is upset because she wants the kids to go NOW. But so what? They are not her kids. And I am sorry to be so blunt, but my goodness gracious, I have never seen the likes of it. The parents can't afford the trip yet, but when they can, the FAMILY will go. I have no doubt in my mind that at that time, the sister will be invited to go along.

I have read all the OPs posts, and no where do I see that she is upset that the kids haven't been yet.

And I am happy you view DW as just an amusement park, like a carnival in town. I salute you. But I do not share your views. And I won't speak for others here, but I suppose there are one or two more who agree with me. And yes, it is kind of a rite of passage. It means that much to some. In fact, I suspect you are in the minority in this area, at least on these boards. I have passed DW on to my daughter who, at nine, already views it as a special place, a place where dreams literally do come true.

It's not just an amusement park. And that you can't see that -- to me, at least -- explains why you can not see how important this first trip for that woman's children is. And why, IMHO, that very first trip should be taken with Mom and Dad, not an aunt who, though her heart is in the right place, should bow out for the time being and let a mom raise her kids.

Frequenting these boards every day for the past couple years, I can assure you that Skier Pete does not consider WDW a carnival in town or any ol' amusement park. It indeed does mean as much as a rite of passage for some (most of us on these boards included), but that doesn't mean it's that significant for the OPs sis, certainly. I think that was Pete's point. Geez.

My Lord have mercy, this has gotten very involved. I don't recall anything this serious since that time we got to yammering about fake cigarettes at DW.

I think you are the one who's making it so serious, seriously! Don't worry, I'm pretty sure no one is going to ever take your kids to Disney without you!

 

[Beauty & the Best]

Wow guys, I am really blown away by all of the comments.

Thank you so much for providing your input and helping me w/ this.

I'd also like to say thanks for those who defended me and my motives. Like many of you, if I took these children to wdw it would be about them and not me. I'm thinking that if the parents do say no, maybe they wouldn't mind if the girls just came to visit or if we did different theme parks other than Disney.

Please if you have beef w/ someone on this thread, I would greatly appreciate it if you would private message among yourselves and not hijack this thread. Let's keep it nice here.

Okay, so just to address something - I am not so concerned about taking my nieces for their "1st time." I know that the first time is significant for a lot of people, so that's why I mentioned that they had never been. Honest to goodness for me this trip is more about me spending time w/ my nieces, not "experiencing their 1st time at wdw."

And certainly I am not trying to steal that from their parents, I just think that if they are unable to take them (even though they would like to) this is something that I could do for them.

Also, I can tell that this is an emotional subject so I would never bring it up to my nieces before I ask their parents, nor would I make their parents feel bad or inadequate for not being able to take them.

And my brother has been to wdw a few times when we were younger, the last time he went was about 12 years ago. His wife has never been.

Clearly, the parents want to take their kids to DW the first time. The OP says it right there. And I have clearly said that I would rather MY child's first trip down Main Street be with me and my wife, which it was and it was AWESOME!!!!! The OP says her sister is planning to take the kids, but not soon enough for the OP.

The OP's dream, IMHO, takes a back seat to the parents' wishes. That very, very, very first walk down Main Street is a sacred moment. Just like Christmas morning.

Again, this is not about me taking the unique experience from the parents, I just thought it would be nice to spend some time w/ my nieces in wdw. I would offer to take them had they been to wdw already & their folks couldn't afford to take them again.

And just to be clear, wanting to take their family and being able to take their family are 2 different things.

I think if the OP wants to experience the magic of taking a child to Disney for the first time, she should have a child of her own to take.

Again, I am not wanting to experience the magic of taking a child to Disney for the first time, I just want to spend some fun time w/ my nieces.

Also, having a child just so you can experience the magic of taking them to Disney sounds pretty silly to me.

I don't get this at ALL. There's no rule that everything has to be equal and fair between siblings...especially adult siblings. Just because you offer something to one doesn't mean you have to offer it to another. I really don't see how this is an issue at all. I mean - we have a close family but man...we're not all up in each other's business to even know or care who gives what to whom and that kind of thing. It's really none of anyone's business. If my sis gave something amazing to my other sis, I'd be happy for them - it wouldn't create an issue at all.

You don't know my siblings! Obviously every family is different and in mine jealousies and hurt can come if one sibling is treated to something that another isn't. My other siblings all have older children so that's why taking the kids would not be an issue.

I haven't read the whole thread - but here are my thoughts.

Do you think your brother/sister (not sure which) would be personally offended by you making this offer? If not, then offer it. Either they say yes, or they say no.

If they say no, don't push it...it's their children, it's their decision. Yes, WDW is a wonderful place, but a child's life is not ruined by not seeing it.

I do not think that asking would offend them but I'm going to ask carefully all the same. If they say no I will not bring it up again.

Thanks again for all of the responses. I appreciate everyones thoughts & this discussion helps me look at the situation from another perspective.

 

[Huff]

I have a bit of recent experience with this! Last year I took a good friends 10yr old daughter to Disneyland for her first trip. It was a great experience for both as I have no kids of my own. In the months that followed I was able to take her and 1 or 2 friends of hers over a dozen times to Disneyland. It was a very rewarding experience for all. Being a guy I felt honored that the girls parents put this kind of trust in me. They are very very appreciative and thankful that their kids were able to see Disneyland. They themselves are not Disney fanatics and most likely would not have gone even if they could have afforded it.

The girls are now 12 and much of that special magical Disney time we had cannot be repeated. Age 9, perfect! After age 11 they seem to call themselves teens and don't want adults around! lol Enjoy the magic before they get too old.

 

[Amirah95]

Well, my children have me to take them but if they didn't I would let someone else take them for their first time. My parents were not Disney fanatics like DH and I and Disney World never crossed their minds so when my best friend and her family were going they offered a place for me and I went with them. It was a life changer for sure and I'm glad I was able to go because had I did not I would have missed out on so much. So, yes a million times if I could not take my children to Disney World and it would have to be with people I trust though.

 

[dmccarty]

I think the prime age to take a child to WDW is under the age of 10 or maybe 12. The wonder and excitement that those who are old in body but young at heart pales by comparison to a child's emotion going walking down Main Street for the first time.

*** I *** would not WANT someone else to take my kids to WDW for the first time. I would regret it. I would regret it *** MORE *** if the kids missed out on the opportunity to go at that age.

But many people do not view WDW as some of us.

I was lucky to have been born in Orlando when it was a big town/small city and prior to the Mouse House being built. I also was born into a great family. And a family that could afford to go to MK. Since my family was in Orlando we went to WDW aka MK at least a couple of times a year. These we only day trips but they lasted ALL day.

I still remember the awe I felt the first time the monorail pull into the CR lobby. To this day I love open spaces like the CR. I still step into CR and look up at the monorail and feel that awe. When I was a kid I swore to myself that one day I would stay at CR....

It took 3.5 decades before I did stay at CR.

One of the gifts we have given the kids is the experience and memories of WDW. They don't know they have been given this gift yet. I hope it takes them decades to understand.

My family is not in O Town anymore. I can drive by the old family houses but they are not family any longer. The places are just memories for me and will never mean anything to my kids.....

WDW on the other hand allows me to remember being with family and to experience that same place with my kids. Walking through the tunnel at SM for the third walk on/walk off ride at morning EMH reminds me of the time my cousin and I did the same thing because the rain and parade left the ride lines EMPTY! My child will remember riding SM three times in a row with her old man. Hopefully one day the same child will ride SM three times in a row with her kids.

The memories pass forward while WDW changes but remains the same.

Two trips back we decided to bring a nephew with us to WDW. He was at the age to go. He needed to go. His life has been pretty bad and the only way he would get to WDW was if we took him. We are in DVC so the out of pocket expense would be low. However with five of us it cost us double the points we would normally spend.

We talked it over with our kids and told them that we thought we should take their cousin. We also told them that we would have to borrow DVC points and that we would have shortened trips to WDW for a few years if we took their cousin. They agreed a few short trips were worth taking their Cuz.

We did a few things we normally do not do to make the trip even more special like an Illumination Cruise. Cuz saw CR and the monorail. Rode the train. Stayed at AKL and saw the animals from the balcony. Cuz did things and saw things I don't think he ever dreamed about. It was worth it.

We hope we have planted a seed in our nephew. An idea that hard work can overcome some of the obstacles life throws at you. It might take 35 years to get to stay at CR but it can be done. We think we gave him some memories that will help him in the future.

Later,
Dan

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

Goodness! I had no idea this was such a sacred experience!! I didn't think anything of taking my nephew (9 at the time) on his first trip in Aug. '08. It was supposed to be a once in a lifetime trip, but then I took him again in July '09. For our 2010 trip it looks like his parents may be able to join us at the end of the trip. This will be their first time there while their son is there!! Seriously, we have never even had the conversation that there was something "wrong" with me taking him because they were unable! This may be news to people on these boards, but Disney isn't that big of a deal to many folks!

 

[natcat117]

Yeah, I didn't know it was such a big deal, either. My family is taking my 13 year-old cousin to WDW (his first time) this June. My uncle is very busy all the time and we thought it would be a nice experience for my cousin to go. My uncle agreed and even offered to help pay. For me, WDW is a wonderful experience but I understand that not everyone thinks it's as special as I do. We're not doing this to "steal" my cousin's first WDW trip away from his dad. We're doing it because we're his godfamily and think it would be fun for him to go somewhere with us.

To the OP, I think wanting to spread the magic is very kind.

 

[eastcarolinafan]

... but it is to some; and somewhere in here, it's like the people who don't really care at all just decided that the people who DO care are stupid for caring about being the first one to take their own children to DW.

I don't understand why it's such a big deal to prove it's not such a big deal, but ok. I now officially recognize it's ridiculous to want to be the first to walk your own child down Main Street. I hereby acknowledge it is entirely selfish to want to be the first to do that, and that if a relative or really good friend is going and wants to take your child for her first trip to DW, you should let them do it because you may never actually get around to it.

I am on board.

 

[mom2rtk]

... but it is to some; and somewhere in here, it's like the people who don't really care at all just decided that the people who DO care are stupid for caring about being the first one to take their own children to DW.

I don't understand why it's such a big deal to prove it's not such a big deal, but ok. I now officially recognize it's ridiculous to want to be the first to walk your own child down Main Street. I hereby acknowledge it is entirely selfish to want to be the first to do that, and that if a relative or really good friend is going and wants to take your child for her first trip to DW, you should let them do it because you may never actually get around to it.

I am on board.

But hey.... it takes a village, right???????????