Would you let your child(ren) go to WDW with someone else?

[golfgal]

It's making me really uncomfortable that people seem to think it's okay to call parents selfish if they don't send their kids on a trip just because they're invited. Regardless of their reasons, they are the parent and it's their choice. It's okay to be disappointed or wish they made a different decision, but is it really okay to insist someone should send their kids to WDW or anywhere else they're invited and if they don't, they're selfish?

Unless they've been sending their kids regularly with other people, this decision has nothing to do with the OP. It's just a parenting decision they've made.

I guess I am going to have to disagree with you and say that the parents are being selfish not letting their kids go away without them. They are more concerned about them being worried then letting their kids have some fun and spread their wings. The parents that are so worried about their teenagers not being watched like a hawk are most certainly selfish. When do these kids learn to grow up? How nice is it to these kids to dump them at college one day never having experienced being away from home? I just don't get it personally. I think EVERY child should have a special adult that isn't their parent in their lives to do stuff like this with because that person will always be someone that a child can turn to if they don't feel like they can turn to their parent.

 

[disney1990]

I am bummed because I really wanted my nephews(11 and 14 at the time) to go to WDW with me and DS15 this summer. My sister says she doesn't want them to go, and that her husband wouldn't even let them go if she went without him. They are unable to go because of new jobs, but I have offered to pay everything for the boys. We are very close, and I even kept the two boys when they were babies. We live a few miles apart and the boys are together quite a bit.

Anyway, it kind of makes me feel like they don't trust me. They are sending their boys to several sleep away camps this summer for 3-4 nights, with virtual strangers watching them, but they won't let them go with me for the week. The boys would love it! They went to WDW when they were 4 and 2 and then when they were 9 and 11. Both of those were whole family trips, and they have no desire to go back(the parents), so its unlikely the boys will be going back before they are grown.

Wow, 11 and 14? Are they going to be taking their parents with them to college too? At some point, you need to let your children have wings?

We have been taking our granddaughters to Disney since they were 3. And, their parents are getting ready to take their second trip out of the country, leaving the girls with us.

 

[pearlieq]

is it really okay to insist someone should send their kids to WDW or anywhere else they're invited and if they don't, they're selfish?

If they're doing it for selfish reasons, sure.

Non-selfish reasons:

1.) I am not comfortable with the people asking to take my child.
2.) My child is grounded/on punishment or has other commitments at the time.
3.) My child has medical or behavioral issues that take specific care and I don't believe the hosts, no matter how good their intentions are, can manage them.
4.) My child does not want to go.

Selfish reasons:

1.) I want to go on vacation too, but I can't or wasn't invited. Therefore, my kid can't go.
2.) I believe vacations are for families. I don't want my kid to experience them with other people.
3.) I want to be the one to take my kid on vacation or experience it with them. Until I can do that, they can't go if another opportunity presents itself.
4.) I'm totally paranoid/afraid of flying/uncomfortable outside of my little bubble and therefore don't want to let my child to go.

Lots of people write off selfish choices as "parenting decisions". I don't see anything wrong in calling them on it.

 

[DeniseinNS]

I wouldn't let anyone else, including close family that I totally trust take my kids on vacation without myself or my husband there.

 

[JennMouse32]

some parents are just stupid like that

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I would sit down with them and ask them why. I would say I understand if you don't want them to go BUT I am feeling sort of offended so can you at least tell me why.
I would let my kids go. Sure why notIt might make me starting a job easier I have a few less things at home to worry about while I am getting settled and why not let the kids have fun.

 

[Nancyg56]

It's making me really uncomfortable that people seem to think it's okay to call parents selfish if they don't send their kids on a trip just because they're invited. Regardless of their reasons, they are the parent and it's their choice. It's okay to be disappointed or wish they made a different decision, but is it really okay to insist someone should send their kids to WDW or anywhere else they're invited and if they don't, they're selfish?

Unless they've been sending their kids regularly with other people, this decision has nothing to do with the OP. It's just a parenting decision they've made.

I think that it is acceptable to feel that parents who deny their children opportunities becasue they cannot enjoy the opportunity themselves is selfish. It is also acceptabe that you disagree.

I think that this is about the BIL and not the OP. I find it odd that the BIL has decided that if he is not present for the vacation no one is going. IMO, this is selfish.

I have been taking children who do not belong to me on vacation since my own were young. I have also let my sister take mine with her. I take my DGD now even if DD and DSIL are nto able to join us. I know that someone said that no one loves your children like you do and that may be true btu I can guarantee that I love my nieces and nephews without conditions and when they were with me I cared for them and was as vigilent with them as I was with my own.

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[torinsmom]

I have accepted that they won't let the kids go. I waited to book until I knew for sure they wouldn't be allowed to join us. Now, I have no choice but to get over it, because even if they changed their minds, our trip is during one of their camps. One of them will be in cabins with no a/c and the other will be in a lean-to shelter---does not sound fun to me, LOL. We will enjoy our trip--I guess I am lucky that DS15 doesn't mind going with his old mom.

Marsha

 

[luvmy3]

I know many will disagree but the truth of the matter is not letting your kids go to WDW is not keeping them in a bubble, or not letting them spread their wings. I am a parent who wouldn't let my kids (at the age they are now) travel 2000 miles away without me or my dh, if you want to call me selfish because of that, I'm okay with that. My kids aren't living in "my bubble" and they certainly aren't at a loss for wordly experiences, they just happen to be included in ours, their parents. When they are old enough that I trust them to be able to handle any situation that arises without us, they are free to go, until then they are not, afterall they are still my children, and I do know whats best for them

 

[MichelleVW]

If they're doing it for selfish reasons, sure.

Non-selfish reasons:

1.) I am not comfortable with the people asking to take my child.
2.) My child is grounded/on punishment or has other commitments at the time.
3.) My child has medical or behavioral issues that take specific care and I don't believe the hosts, no matter how good their intentions are, can manage them.
4.) My child does not want to go.

Selfish reasons:

1.) I want to go on vacation too, but I can't or wasn't invited. Therefore, my kid can't go.
2.) I believe vacations are for families. I don't want my kid to experience them with other people.
3.) I want to be the one to take my kid on vacation or experience it with them. Until I can do that, they can't go if another opportunity presents itself.
4.) I'm totally paranoid/afraid of flying/uncomfortable outside of my little bubble and therefore don't want to let my child to go.

Lots of people write off selfish choices as "parenting decisions". I don't see anything wrong in calling them on it.

Great post! When we first moved to Texas a friend (that I didn't know yet) asked oldest DD to go to Mexico with them. Uh...had to say NO to that one!!! But same DD has been to the beach with different friends that I knew the parents.

I wouldn't let anyone else, including close family that I totally trust take my kids on vacation without myself or my husband there.

Any particular reason why?

 

[DeniseinNS]

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeniseinNS
I wouldn't let anyone else, including close family that I totally trust take my kids on vacation without myself or my husband there.

Any particular reason why?

Any particular reason why?

I feel that at 8 and 4 they are still way too young to be travelling with anyone but us. We enjoying planning and taking ALL of our vacations together and have no desire to vacation without the kids or let the kids vacation with others. You never know what emergency could happen so I like them to be close enough to be able to get to them quickly if need be. Disney would be a definate no for me, especially since it's in a different country.

 

[Aisling]

To OP,

You made a very kind and generous offer and they declined. Please don't feel hurt because they declined. I have in my life, declined what would seem to be generous offers for reasons known only to myself. We don't always know what is going on with other people, no matter how close we are.

It doesn't sound like it's because they don't trust you, if you have watched their children in the past. If the reason your sister has given is that her husband doesn't want the children to go, I think you need to be gracious and just accept their decision.

For your sake, please let it go. Concentrate on having a wonderful trip with your son.

This is a very wise post.

 

[Scurvy]

I know many will disagree but the truth of the matter is not letting your kids go to WDW is not keeping them in a bubble, or not letting them spread their wings. I am a parent who wouldn't let my kids (at the age they are now) travel 2000 miles away without me or my dh, if you want to call me selfish because of that, I'm okay with that. My kids aren't living in "my bubble" and they certainly aren't at a loss for wordly experiences, they just happen to be included in ours, their parents. When they are old enough that I trust them to be able to handle any situation that arises without us, they are free to go, until then they are not, afterall they are still my children, and I do know whats best for them

I agree with you, luvmy3. I actually have let my child go to WDW without me, but it's because I trust my parents to watch out for him just as well as I do. I wouldn't have let him go with anyone else until I felt he was ready. I'm surprised so many people think they have the right to evaluate other parents' decisions for their children to see if the reasons for the decisions are "good enough". I assume a parent knows their kids better than anyone else. I also assume they feel they have good reasons for the decisions they make regarding things like whether to let someone else take the child on vacation. They shouldn't have to justify those decisions to anyone else.

 

[Had2stopLurking]

Wow. We took my niece to DL 3 times last year (first time at age 7 but she turned 8 in Sept) and her parents didn't even blink an eye. They couldn't afford it and we paid for the entire trip (flight, annual passes, meals, hotels, and spending money).

We're thinking of taking her to WDW/Discovery Cove in Sept, but it will depend on how her behavior is. (she's going through the 8 year old crankies )

We have also taken a friend's child to WDW for 8 days before (she was 10). I can't imagine my friends or family not trusting me enough to give their children something they are unable to. To me, that speaks volumes about the people in your (general your) life.

If I couldn't trust someone to take care of my daughter on a trip, I certainly wouldn't include them in my daily life.

 

[Ceila]

I can't understand all of the posters who are calling the parents selfish without knowing their reasons. They may very well be valid! They also might be selfish, but to paint with such a broad brush isn't warranted.

OP, I know you are not one of the people like I just described. If you are close enough to them (and I assume you are since you are willing to take their children on vacation ), I would suggest asking them about their concerns. Maybe there are things you can work out. However, if they don't want to talk, I would just drop it at that point. It might be something they just aren't comfortable discussing. Good luck - you sound like a wonderful aunt!

 

[Scurvy]

We have also taken a friend's child to WDW for 8 days before (she was 10). I can't imagine my friends or family not trusting me enough to give their children something they are unable to. To me, that speaks volumes about the people in your (general your) life.

If I couldn't trust someone to take care of my daughter on a trip, I certainly wouldn't include them in my daily life.

Wow. You would really trust everyone who is a part of your daily life to take your child on vacation? I have plenty of people I'm close to who would have done a terrible job of watching my child on vacation. Maybe they don't know much about kids and wouldn't know what things to watch for or be careful of, maybe they tend to be more lax -or strict - in their parenting style than I am comfortable with, maybe they tend to be a little flighty or forgetful, maybe they already have several kids to keep up with and I don't think they could focus adequately on my child in the heavy crowds of WDW . . . there are plenty of reasons I might not have felt comfortable with someone taking my son on vacation while he was too young to watch out for himself. Those certainly aren't reasons to cut them out of my life, but they are good reasons not to send my child on vacation with them.

 

[torinsmom]

I can't understand all of the posters who are calling the parents selfish without knowing their reasons. They may very well be valid! They also might be selfish, but to paint with such a broad brush isn't warranted.

OP, I know you are not one of the people like I just described. If you are close enough to them (and I assume you are since you are willing to take their children on vacation ), I would suggest asking them about their concerns. Maybe there are things you can work out. However, if they don't want to talk, I would just drop it at that point. It might be something they just aren't comfortable discussing. Good luck - you sound like a wonderful aunt!

I've asked several times and all I get is that they won't let them go without them. When I mentioned that it hurt my feelings that they would let the kids go to camp with people they don't know, my sister said that WDW is a lot more dangerous than the camp. I agree it is there prerogative to make decisions that I don't agree with; I just feel bad for the kids, since they really want to go.

 

[disykat]

I've asked several times and all I get is that they won't let them go without them. When I mentioned that it hurt my feelings that they would let the kids go to camp with people they don't know, my sister said that WDW is a lot more dangerous than the camp. I agree it is there prerogative to make decisions that I don't agree with; I just feel bad for the kids, since they really want to go.

They don't owe you an explanation. It's their call - period. IMO, an invitation is fine, but not accepting their answer is overstepping your bounds. As you said, it's their perogative. IMO your feeling bad for their kids is what is insulting, not the fact that they don't want to send them with you.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes--but part of that would also deal with proximity. If I lived thousands of miles away, I may be less inclined to do that. But it wouldn't be out of the question either. I just get rather skittish when things are out of my element of control. A 20 hour car ride would be something that would make me nervous, for example. Not the actual destination.


But I wouldn't be offended if somone didn't allow it. It happens and it has nothing to do with their trust in you.

My kids have never gone on vacation with anyone else, but they've never been invited either.

Though-this weekend I went with DH to NYC and my kids stayed with friends of ours. It took everything in me to simply trust that they would be okay--but it had nothing to do with me questioning the abilties of my friends to watch my children.

I agree with disykate, they do not owe you an explanation and pressing for it is rude. One should never question anyone else's parenting decision that doesn't cause you or the kids personal harm. I don't see how not letting them go to Disney harms their development--but it is a disney discussion board after all.

ETA: If someone were offended at my parenting decisions that are harming noone--then I wouldn't be associating with them any longer.