Would you "let" your child go to college 700+ miles from home- and UA

["Got Disney"]

Seriously. These are things that they are supposed to be able to know and deal with by the time they reach 12th grade. Can't write an essay? That's 6-8th grade work. The SAT? It's just a test. A long and involved test, yes... but still just a test of material that they should already know by the time they reach this point in their education.

Then again, with many, many colleges, a gigantic chunk of the freshman (and some of the sophmore) population basically is forced to take remedial classes (099 Level?), which are basically just High School all over again (this time hopefully actually retaining some or any of it...).

Perhaps if school districts actually grew a pair and failed students instead of passing (repeatedly) them along with their peers...

Naw, parents would riot about their precious snowflakes.

Sorry but a essay learned in 6 to 8th grade is not the same kind of essay needed to get into a university....you would be surprised how many kids are turned away from a university due to how there essay was written.

These universities want our kids to be super human....great grades,challenged with Honors and AP classes, tons of Volunteer hrs, high GPA, above average SAT and ACT scores,work experience...and so much more....I am however talking about the middle range universities....or above average universities....not the top tier.....

Anyone can get into the lower tier universities.....as long as they ave a 2.0 and up....it all depends on what your looking for....DS choices are the above average....except for one that he likes because it is small....he will get in there with no problems....but schools like UC Santa Cruz,UC Davis,UCLA, UCSD and such have high standards....

He will have no problem reaching a 30 on the Next ACT....the grade he got was from last year before he had some classes he needed to do better....like Calculous for example....same with the SAT...which is actually 1850....not 1800.... His writing is a 9 and that is high and should get higher when he re takes it...

His choices not mine. He loves school so we are blessed for that....my other son has all A but no honors classes or AP classes....loves school but not as driven as his brother.

 

[gina2000]

Duke is a top 20 school and one of the toughest schools to get into in the nation. I'd hardly call that midrange.

 

[MrsPete]

Do you work on a college campus as well as retail and in the public schools? You seem to have lots of experience observing all these things happen.

I've worked on a college campus, in retail, and in the public schools. I've also worked in a factory, in a prison, at summer camp, in food services and in human resources. Oh, I drove a bus too. If I think a while, I'll come up with more. Having been on this planet four and a half decades, I've had lots of time to do those things. I held a lot of part-time jobs when I was younger and have been in my current job 20 years.

. . . besides the new sushi bar on campus . . . I guess I don't see it that way. If you spread the process out over time, it isn't that much of a chore . . .

A sushi bar would actually be a turn-off for my daughter, but it's funny that kids do focus in on those little details. One of my daughter's friends was sooooo excited about the dorms at a school she visited because they have granite countertops in the kitchenettes. Really, who cares about that?

We've had a great time visiting colleges and comparing details. I can't say it's been a chore at all.

Not necessarily...often they won't accept kids that are TOO far beyond their norm because they know there is no way they will come or they know that that school is just a "safety" school for them and they may accept them and realize they won't come at all so they accept someone else too . . .

That's not what I've seen: Kids choose colleges for a wide variety of reasons. I've seen tip-top students choose middle-of-the-road schools because of finances (go to middle-of-the-road school for free or prestigious school for X amount of money? -- we wouldn't all make the same decision on that question). I've seen kids who could've gone anywhere choose tiny Christian colleges for reasons that have nothing to do with academics. I've seen kids pass up prestigious universities because they wanted to stay close to home. But I've not seen tip-top students turned away from schools for being "too good".

Seriously. These are things that they are supposed to be able to know and deal with by the time they reach 12th grade. Can't write an essay? That's 6-8th grade work. The SAT? It's just a test. A long and involved test, yes... but still just a test of material that they should already know by the time they reach this point in their education.

Way off base.

Yes, kids learn to write essays around 6th - 8th grade, but at that point they're learning the basics such as the structure of an essay. Obviously a high school senior is expected to have a far greater command of the English language -- better syntax, richer vocabulary, a more mature style, and immaculate grammar. The 6th grader is learning to stick to the topic, to spell words correctly, and to use complete sentences. The college-bound senior should've mastered those skills and should be working on tight, concise writing and more advanced mechanics such as pronoun-antecedant agreement and correct parallelism (I mention those because they're sticky widgets for many seniors). To compare a student's first attempts at essays to those expected for college admissions is just silly.

Also, the SAT is more involved than any high school test. Its length makes it something of an endurance test, but its real importance lies in the fact that it is standard across the US, eliminating differences in educational specifics.

Duke is a top 20 school and one of the toughest schools to get into in the nation. I'd hardly call that midrange.

Yeah, I thought that was a bit out of touch with reality.

 

[kmedina]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42432393]DS and I have done so much research on Colleges that our heads were about to pop Even hired him an academic advisor....knowing what he wants to do and where he wants to go there is still tons of stuff to do.

Can't see leaving a 17 yo all alone to do that.....or to make such a hard choice....

There are Grades, scholarships,SATs,ACTs,Subject tests, AP tests, Volunteer hrs, Essays, financial aid, schools best for what you want to do, hrs and hrs of research, and getting everything in on time when they finally figure out their top 5-10 choices to apply... and on and on....

I can tell you my head was and is spinning so can't imagine his...for 4 years he has been working towards this....when I went to college grades were the main priority....

Know your child to get into a good school has to be super human....

Leadership skills, at least 200 volunteer hrs, GPA of at least 3.7, and if weighted at that even better, above average SAT/ACT scores, work experience, high score on SAT subject tests, and more...

Sure you can get into college with less but the midrange colleges look for these students first than go down from there.

They say sure you have a great GPA and SAT ACT scores....you have done great with volunteer hrs and took AP and Honors classes....but so have the other 20,000 who applied...so why are you so different....

That is where having a great essay comes in....

Nope....not as easy to get into a middle range college as it was when I went. Can't imagine leaving jello for brain teens to stay on top of this all by themselves....their brains are to busy restructuring.[/QUOTE]

My Dad did not help (other than paying for tests and application fees) with any college prep or planning, and I guess I have mixed feelings about it. Kids need to learn to be independent, especially enforced at my son's private (pre)school and he's only four. By the time he gets to the higher grades, the school will demand even more. As kids get older, they need to be able to do these things themselves (if they really want it). That said, I would have liked my Dad to take a little more interest in my planning (about the level that many posters have taken).

I will keep an open mind with my boys and try to fall somewhere in between. It is nice that you want to help him so much. He may even be allowing it more for bonding before he leaves rather than actually needing your help. That is just a posibility, and I cannot say for sure (since I do not know him).

Not that I did not do well with my testing, but I wish someone (Dad or anyone) would have suggested I studied for my standardized tests. I just took the ACT and SAT tests without any preparation while many others studied. Studying gives people with the same level of intelligence a little bit of an advantage over those who did not. Many people told me I would be tested on things I already knew or should know, so I decided not to waste "precious social life" time with studying. Like you, I will make sure my sons study for the test.

Luckily, I did not miss any deadlines and did well enough with my testing, essays, grades and extra curricular activities to get a full academic scholarship. In the essence of full disclosure, I did not apply to any ivy league or top notch schools. I learned my lesson and studied for the LSAT. The difference between the pretests with no studying vs studying was decent enough to make studying worth it, so I can say it is worth it.

Essays do make a big difference in all things college related. One scholarship I received was the direct result of my essay according to the acceptance committee. I will make sure that my sons know how to write well. My husband is a much better writer than I am, so I will have him work with them.

If they do not get full scholarships, and we are unable to fully pay for their school, I will make sure they fill out the FAFSA. Some scholarship applications actually require this, and they cannot fill them out without our financials anyway.

Most schools do not use the weighted GPA (sadly). They do like to see that students took the honors and advanced placement classes that add weight though.

Hopefully, your son gets into a great school (if he has not already). I highly doubt that he has jello for brains. It sounds like he is on the right track and will probably do well in life. We can only hope that our kids do well with the guidance we've provided.

 

[mjantz]

I went to college at the school that gave me a full scholarship. I really had no decision to make.

I so did not fit in. Private woman's college in the South. Filled with debutantes - while I grew up in abject poverty. These were the daughters of privilege - very, very smart daughters though.

But boy did I grow as a person. No one ever rejected me because of my background even if it was very difficult for me personally at times. Many, many of these women are my best friends decades later.

And it was so worthwhile to go to an academically selective school. By sophomore year I was taking grad level math classes with phd students. (My college was part of a major university). It is so important to go to school with other smart students so the classes don't have to be dumbed down.

A few years ago I applied to teach at a prestigious & exclusive school in the area. I was talking to a friend about how I should dress & such and she said something that has stuck with me:

'They don't care if you have money. THEY have money but it's fine if you don't.'

And in general that's been my experience with 'old money'. They know they have it; they know I don't & let's just move on.

As always, YMMV.

 

["Got Disney"]

Duke is a top 20 school and one of the toughest schools to get into in the nation. I'd hardly call that midrange.

I've worked on a college campus, in retail, and in the public schools. I've also worked in a factory, in a prison, at summer camp, in food services and in human resources. Oh, I drove a bus too. If I think a while, I'll come up with more. Having been on this planet four and a half decades, I've had lots of time to do those things. I held a lot of part-time jobs when I was younger and have been in my current job 20 years. A sushi bar would actually be a turn-off for my daughter, but it's funny that kids do focus in on those little details. One of my daughter's friends was sooooo excited about the dorms at a school she visited because they have granite countertops in the kitchenettes. Really, who cares about that?

We've had a great time visiting colleges and comparing details. I can't say it's been a chore at all. That's not what I've seen: Kids choose colleges for a wide variety of reasons. I've seen tip-top students choose middle-of-the-road schools because of finances (go to middle-of-the-road school for free or prestigious school for X amount of money? -- we wouldn't all make the same decision on that question). I've seen kids who could've gone anywhere choose tiny Christian colleges for reasons that have nothing to do with academics. I've seen kids pass up prestigious universities because they wanted to stay close to home. But I've not seen tip-top students turned away from schools for being "too good". Way off base.
Yes, kids learn to write essays around 6th - 8th grade, but at that point they're learning the basics such as the structure of an essay. Obviously a high school senior is expected to have a far greater command of the English language -- better syntax, richer vocabulary, a more mature style, and immaculate grammar. The 6th grader is learning to stick to the topic, to spell words correctly, and to use complete sentences. The college-bound senior should've mastered those skills and should be working on tight, concise writing and more advanced mechanics such as pronoun-antecedant agreement and correct parallelism (I mention those because they're sticky widgets for many seniors). To compare a student's first attempts at essays to those expected for college admissions is just silly.

Also, the SAT is more involved than any high school test. Its length makes it something of an endurance test, but its real importance lies in the fact that it is standard across the US, eliminating differences in educational specifics. Several posters on this thread are quite sure they know all about you -- and certainly don't approve of your choices -- based upon a few words.

Some of our students hire private counselors to help them get into college. I don't think it's really necessary, but if it makes you feel that you've left no stone unturned, then it might be money well spent for you. I do think that working closely with your school's guidance counselors and teachers (and by researching for yourself), you can get the same results. A casual friend of
mine has three children, all learning disabilities of some type; she particularly felt that a professional counselor helped her kids find schools that were good fits. In all honesty, though, having taught two of her children, they weren't easy-to-place candidates. My kid's different.

Writing is one of the things I teach, and I'm kind of iffy on whether it's goodor bad to have a professional work with your student on the essay. The most important step in writing is PLANNING, and he's getting help help bringing out and organizing ideas. Committing the ideas to paper isn't as difficult as focusing on the right concepts in the first place. On the other hand, most students have someone proofread /give ideas on their essays -- I can tell you that I read them for students all the time.Except for the most prestigious universities, I don't see this. Try not to over-worry admission. If you have to stress excessively and work at creating a persona, it's probably not a good fit for the student. In high school, we tell our students that they should enroll in the most difficult classes in which they can be successful while working hard but not feeling stress -- I think that's good advice for college choices to

One thing I do see, however, is that kids with all the academics and no extra-curriculars are frequently disappointed by admissions to the top schools and by scholarship committees. Good grades combined with well-rounded seems to trump Top grades and nothing else.Yeah, I thought that was a bit out of touch with reality.

First off as far as your comment about posters on here know all about me...your blowing smoke.....I hardly ever come to the CB....I am on the DCL thread when I travel...

As for Duke...who said anything about Duke University....

Next I have done extensive research with the schools councilors and called the universities and went to the web sites to see what they want...also chatted with the universities local representatives.....my son also took the college 4 me course which was a college course on applying to colleges.....

I came here to debate the subject and was met like the OP with insults from you and a couple others here....it's a shame when a parent is able to offer there child the best of help to succeed that it pushes folks like you ....buttons.... He has taken college doused....interned with the head animated at Sony...went to Stanford for there gaming academy, and Tech classes at UCSC.....took speed reading courses and is on the PTSA for heading up GRAD night fundraising....is on TRACK and could get a scholarship for that....he has designed his own game and makes environmental maps that gamers ask him to design for their games...

We could have sat back and just let him do school work and get good grades without all the other stuff....but these opportunities will help him towards his career not to mention a job at Sony when he gets out....he has a letter of recommendation from the head animator from Sony and the head programmer from there not to mention the letter from his teacher from Stanford....

Don't get why your so upset about all the help we have given our son and all of the awesome opportunities he has gotten. When it comes to what colleges Not just require but look for to set them apart from other students we know
it....colleges want to know what you are going to do for them...are you a student to put us on the map.....or just a student going to college to party....

Big demand for what my son wants to do....with even better STATS than what he has.....

Sorry if you don't like all we have been able to do for him that you need to say childish things like....people on here know who I am.....sorry but I never post here but rarely.....except for the young and the restless thread....all my posts are from years ago except for TYATR and my yearly Disney cruise meet threads....

Try again

 

["Got Disney"]

My Dad did not help (other than paying for tests and application fees) with any college prep or planning, and I guess I have mixed feelings about it. Kids need to learn to be independent, especially enforced at my son's private (pre)school and he's only four. By the time he gets to the higher grades, the school will demand even more. As kids get older, they need to be able to do these things themselves (if they really want it). That said, I would have liked my Dad to take a little more interest in my planning (about the level that many posters have taken).

I will keep an open mind with my boys and try to fall somewhere in between. It is nice that you want to help him so much. He may even be allowing it more for bonding before he leaves rather than actually needing your help. That is just a posibility, and I cannot say for sure (since I do not know him).

Not that I did not do well with my testing, but I wish someone (Dad or
anyone) would have suggested I studied for my standardized tests. I just took the ACT and SAT tests without any preparation while many others studied. Studying gives people with the same level of intelligence a little bit of an advantage over those who did not. Many people told me I would be tested on things I already knew or should know, so I decided not to waste "precious social life" time with studying. Like you, I will make sure my sons study for the test.

Luckily, I did not miss any deadlines and did well enough with my testing, essays, grades and extra curricular activities to get a full academic scholarship. In the essence of full disclosure, I did not apply to any ivy league or top notch schools. I learned my lesson and studied for the LSAT. The difference between the pretests with no studying vs studying was decent enough to make studying worth it, so I can say it is worth it.

Essays do make a big difference in all things college related. One scholarship I received was the direct result of my essay according to the acceptance committee. I will make sure that my sons know how to write well. My husband is a much better writer than I am, so I will have him work with the

If they do not get full scholarships, and we are unable to fully pay for their school, I will make sure they fill out the FAFSA. Some scholarship applications actually require this, and they cannot fill them out without our financials anywa

Most schools do not use the weighted GPA (sadly). They do like to see that students took the honors and advanced placement classes that add weight thoug

Hopefully, your son gets into a great school (if he has not already). I highly doubt that he has jello for brains. It sounds like he is on the right track and will probably do well in life. We can only hope that our kids do well with the guidance we've provided.

Very nice post....

When I refer to jello for brains it's not meant to state he alone has jello for brains it's teens in general at this age their brains are re-wiring and don't yet have the ability to think as if they were older....this will not come in play till they are around 25.....he is very independent and very social....but like most teens....well he's a teen.... My son has a high IQ ...I have epilepsy and my boys are on a program/study to be tested till they are 21 due to the

medication I took during pregnancy....so they are tested every 2years.

Anyway really enjoyed your post....

 

["Got Disney"]

Just want to add that this thread has gone way off topic the OP has said what she is going to do so the original topic is solved. I wish you all great luck in your child's education and that they get their first picks

I will post again when he gets his acceptance letters.....here's to a to all of our kids....after all they ROCK! And when they leave it will be hard but we will be so proud of them.....

Have a great blessed awesome night....Peace out

 

[kmedina]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42439768]Very nice post....

When I refer to jello for brains it's not meant to state he alone has jello for brains it's teens in general at this age their brains are re-wiring and don't yet have the ability to think as if they were older....this will not come in play till they are around 25.....he is very independent and very social....but like most teens....well he's a teen.... My son has a high IQ ...I have epilepsy and my boys are on a program/study to be tested till they are 21 due to the

medication I took during pregnancy....so they are tested every 2years.

Anyway really enjoyed your post....[/QUOTE]

There is a lot of information out there that says the frontal lobes do not fully develop in human beings until their early twenties, so I pretty much agree with you. Without that pivotal piece, logic and reasoning go straight out the window at times. Some teens (like your son I bet) function much better than others. I gave my dad a hard time from abot 15-17, which I regret now. I always joke with my Dad that I thought I knew everything when I was a teenager. One day around age 20, I woke up and realized I knew nothing. Now, I'd like to think that while I still have a lot to learn, (and will hopefully never stop learning) that I am finally confident that I know what I am talking about.

 

[jrmasm]

Duke is a top 20 school and one of the toughest schools to get into in the nation. I'd hardly call that midrange.

That made me go too!

 

[jrmasm]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42439768]Very nice post....

When I refer to jello for brains it's not meant to state he alone has jello for brains it's teens in general at this age their brains are re-wiring and don't yet have the ability to think as if they were older....this will not come in play till they are around 25.....he is very independent and very social....but like most teens....well he's a teen.... My son has a high IQ ...I have epilepsy and my boys are on a program/study to be tested till they are 21 due to the

medication I took during pregnancy....so they are tested every 2years.

Anyway really enjoyed your post....[/QUOTE]

My 16 year old junior still requires guidance. I suck as a parent. Join the club.

 

[bombygriz]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42437305]
These universities want our kids to be super human....great grades,challenged with Honors and AP classes, tons of Volunteer hrs, high GPA, above average SAT and ACT scores,work experience...and so much more....I am however talking about the middle range universities....or above average universities....not the top tier.....
[/QUOTE]

I haven't read the recent explosion of this thread, but this made me curious. How is this sort of an expectation 'superhuman'? It's not that hard to have a 4.0 GPA in high school if you have a good work ethic. Honors and AP classes are usually the same work at a faster, more challenging pace-still incredibly easy. If you document every little thing you do (which our school requires, 48 hours minimum to graduate) without pay, you'll end up with tons of hours. I got twenty hours a show working with the middle school theater program. You just have to look for outlets in your field of interest.

The SAT and ACT are another story. I found them easy the last time I took them, but others don't test well. Still, many 'top' colleges aren't requiring those test scores when you apply.

Essay-writing is all about eloquence and vocabulary, as well as good structure and focus. It comes naturally to me, and for others, not so much-but, asking an English teacher or tutor to help you is the best way to go. I'm sure there are plenty of English teachers who would be enthusiastic about proofreading.

 

[cruisnfamily]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42439631]First off as far as your comment about posters on here know all about me...your blowing smoke.....I hardly ever come to the CB....I am on the DCL thread when I travel...

As for Duke...who said anything about Duke University....

Next I have done extensive research with the schools councilors and called the universities and went to the web sites to see what they want...also chatted with the universities local representatives.....my son also took the college 4 me course which was a college course on applying to colleges.....

I came here to debate the subject and was met like the OP with insults from you and a couple others here....it's a shame when a parent is able to offer there child the best of help to succeed that it pushes folks like you ....buttons.... He has taken college doused....interned with the head animated at Sony...went to Stanford for there gaming academy, and Tech classes at UCSC.....took speed reading courses and is on the PTSA for heading up GRAD night fundraising....is on TRACK and could get a scholarship for that....he has designed his own game and makes environmental maps that gamers ask him to design for their games...

We could have sat back and just let him do school work and get good grades without all the other stuff....but these opportunities will help him towards his career not to mention a job at Sony when he gets out....he has a letter of recommendation from the head animator from Sony and the head programmer from there not to mention the letter from his teacher from Stanford....

Don't get why your so upset about all the help we have given our son and all of the awesome opportunities he has gotten. When it comes to what colleges Not just require but look for to set them apart from other students we know
it....colleges want to know what you are going to do for them...are you a student to put us on the map.....or just a student going to college to party....

Big demand for what my son wants to do....with even better STATS than what he has.....

Sorry if you don't like all we have been able to do for him that you need to say childish things like....people on here know who I am.....sorry but I never post here but rarely.....except for the young and the restless thread....all my posts are from years ago except for TYATR and my yearly Disney cruise meet threads....

Try again[/QUOTE]I have to say that even as adults, reading comprehension is important.

The post I quoted above was directed at Mrs. Pete who you are upset with. Unfortunately you missed the point of her comments....she was actually on your side and defending you against the people on this board who "think they know you based on a few words". I think you owe her an apology but I'm sure she won't get one from you.

 

[MrsPete]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42439631]First off as far as your comment about posters on here know all about me...your blowing smoke.....I hardly ever come to the CB....I am on the DCL thread when I travel...[/QUOTE]Uh, that comment was supportive. I said that people come onto this board and criticize you, thinking they know all about you based upon a few lines. Read it again. No insult was involved. [QUOTE="Got Disney";42439631]As for Duke...who said anything about Duke University....:[/QUOTE]Another poster did. [QUOTE="Got Disney";42439631]Next I have done extensive research with the schools councilors [/QUOTE]Yeah, I can see that you've been very involved with helping your son make a good college choice, and I think that's the best thing you can do for him. I gave balanced feedback on what I've seen of kids working with professionals vs. having parental help, I disagreed about the "kids have to be superhuman" thing, and I was solidly in support of the idea that a 6th grade essay is quite different from a college ap essay.

The one piece of advice I'd give you specifically is that they're counselors, not councillors (or however it was spelled). Your vs. you're, while we're at it, and a few more. That comment was rude, but that's the only rude thing I've said to you.

 

[Robinrs]

I just wanted to let everyone know that I put all 9 pieces of college material that came in today's mail at DD's seat for her to look at. I will never again throw it away. And just to put the record straight, another poster said that I had thrown out an acceptance. That is not true at all- DD hasn't even applied anywhere yet. I would never throw out an acceptance. I also don't open her mail and read it. I am fine if she chooses a college 700 miles from home if that is what she wants. I was really just looking for ways that other families deal with it. DD doesn't feel strong enough about any school yet, except for Notre Dame which is only 6 hours from us. DD is only 16 and I am sure I'll worry where ever she ends up. Distance will probably have nothing to do with it. I don't know how this thread got so ugly.

Because THIS is the DIS.

 

[LukenDC]

The choice of a college needs to be your child's decision, even if you are paying for it. It is your child's college experience and an opportunity for tremendous personal growth. I'm from CA and attended college in CT. Living away from my family and experiencing a different part of the country was an amazing learning experience.

Your daughter is now an adult. Time to let go and permit her to experience life as an adult.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The choice of a college needs to be your child's decision, even if you are paying for it. It is your child's college experience and an opportunity for tremendous personal growth. I'm from CA and attended college in CT. Living away from my family and experiencing a different part of the country was an amazing learning experience.

Your daughter is now an adult. Time to let go and permit her to experience life as an adult.

My oldest wanted to go to UT Austin. Well we told her to apply for scholarships & bust her butt to make it happen because we could not afford the out of state tuition.

She did not put out the effort, therefore she is going to a school in MO.

My youngest wants to go to a top tier school. She has the same deal. DH and I cannot afford 50,000 a yr for our child to go to school.

Now if they got into a doctor program then perhaps, we might do it. Our friends dd got into a 6yr program to become a doctor to the tune of 42,000/yr. They are taking out loans. Now they can afford it sort of. Both of them make enough to handle paying off the tuition just barely.

 

[punkin]

Because THIS is the DIS.

Oh, this is so true!

 

[marcyinPA]

The choice of a college needs to be your child's decision, even if you are paying for it. It is your child's college experience and an opportunity for tremendous personal growth. I'm from CA and attended college in CT. Living away from my family and experiencing a different part of the country was an amazing learning experience.

Your daughter is now an adult. Time to let go and permit her to experience life as an adult.

In a perfect world, maybe. For my kid, it's going to have to be a joint decision if my husband and I are footing the bill. There is no way we can afford tuition to a private school or out of state, unless my DS works his tail off for scholarship money. Even then, money talks...where he applies is up to him, but where he goes is going to depend on cost.

 

[golfgal]

In a perfect world, maybe. For my kid, it's going to have to be a joint decision if my husband and I are footing the bill. There is no way we can afford tuition to a private school or out of state, unless my DS works his tail off for scholarship money. Even then, money talks...where he applies is up to him, but where he goes is going to depend on cost.

Which is completely reasonable, you only have so much money--BUT, don't automatically assume you can't afford tuition at private schools or out of state schools because you don't know what they will offer. Private schools have huge endowments and lots of money to give and often end up LESS then what you would get and pay at a state school, especially if your child is a good student, 3.6 and above will qualify them for a LOT of money at most private schools.