Would you let your 9 year old ride the New York subway alone?

[shelly3girls]

I would say definitely no. I travel the NY subways and sometimes it is so crowded even adults have a difficult time. Also, living in the Philly area and hearing the reports of the recent rash of subway attacks, I just wouldn't do it. I am sure a child who lives in NYC who travels on the subway often would be able to find their way around. I am sure DD could do it if she had done it before. I just could never forgive myself if anything ever happened.

My goodness, the kid could be trampled in the rush of people alone.

 

[EltonJohn]

Absolutely not.

 

[tedhowe]

I would say definitely no. I travel the NY subways and sometimes it is so crowded even adults have a difficult time. Also, living in the Philly area and hearing the reports of the recent rash of subway attacks, I just wouldn't do it. I am sure a child who lives in NYC who travels on the subway often would be able to find their way around. I am sure DD could do it if she had done it before. I just could never forgive myself if anything ever happened.

My goodness, the kid could be trampled in the rush of people alone.

You didn't read the article... the case in question had the mother allowing her child to get home from a store by himself on a Sunday afternoon - hardly the time that he could have been trampled by crowds.

 

[suzimar57]

no - heck, i wouldn't even want to ride it alone at my age.

 

[Charlotte ~08]

No way.

 

[shelly3girls]

You didn't read the article... the case in question had the mother allowing her child to get home from a store by himself on a Sunday afternoon - hardly the time that he could have been trampled by crowds.

No, in fact I did read the article. It was a Sunday afternoon. I normally travel the subway mid-morning or mid-afternoon during the week not during rush hour. I thought that even weekends could be similarly busy even if unlikely or unexpected (caused by numerous possible situations). I stand by my statement that I do not think the subway is safe for a 9 year old child. It is my opinion and you can disagree with me but no need to accuse me of ignorance.

 

[Metro West]

I wouldn't let a 19 year old ride alone much less a 9 year old!

 

[MoniqueU]

We don't even let our 10 year old play in the backyard unless we have an eye on him. Too many crazies out there anymore.

Thats a little extreme.

I don't know that I would let a 9 year old ride the subway. I rode it and it confused the heck out of me and I never want to ride the thing again. Cabs in NY are so cheap that I would much prefer that. I actually found the tube in London easier then the Ny subways and still don't want to ride that again either. That being said not all 9 year olds are completely the same. I am sure there are some savy 9 year olds out there that would do better then I would on a subway by themselves.

 

[eclectics]

I wouldn't let a 19 year old ride alone much less a 9 year old!

Wow, I think you might win the strict award!

 

[Cool-Beans]

Nope, I wouldn't. My kids were waaaay too sheltered for something like that.

But I know there are lots of kids who can and do.

My father was navigating the city of Chicago (and finding/cashing in empty pop bottles in order to finance it) to go down and watch a Cubs game when he was five or six years old. So were his friends.

I wasn't alone on public transportation until I was 13. And even then it was just because my friend's mother was ashamed that we were teens and had no idea how to take a bus or get around downtown. She kind of tossed us out of the nest.

 

[robinb]

I didn't vote. I would not let my 9-year old ride the subway alone, but I live in Madison, WI and we don't have a subway. I lived in Chicago and had no problem riding the subway when I was a teen and in my 20's. I have no problem riding the subway now with my 8-year old DD when we visit.

BUT ... I don't live in NYC. If I did I am sure that I would ride the subway all the time. My DD would be used to riding the subway virtually every single day. It would not be a foreign or scary place for her. So ... from my home in Madison I would say "no" but if I were in NYC I might just say "yes".

ETA: I let my 8-year old DD walk home from the bus stop 2 blocks away and I know that many parents here would not.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I wouldn't let a 19 year old ride alone much less a 9 year old!

Are you serious?

 

[KikiFan]

We don't even let our 10 year old play in the backyard unless we have an eye on him. Too many crazies out there anymore.

I'm not sure that I'd let my child take the subway alone. But not even playing in the backyard seems a bit extreme to me.

I think this author makes a valid point. We do over protect our kids. It stifles their independence and their ability to take care of themselves.

 

[Honu]

No, here in No. Calif, we have BART, which is like the subway in San Francisco, and there is no way I would let my 14 year old ride it alone. In fact, I wouldn't even allow him to ride a public bus by himself.

BART and the NY subway system are nothing alike. I see young kids on BART (and on CalTrain) all the time and they do fine. I guess it depends on the kid though. As an adult, I've even been spooked riding the NY subway. I can't imagine putting a 9 year old on it.

 

[Tiggeroo]

we have so many threads like this and I always feel like only a parent knows their child but this is crazy. you can't trust strangers. Even if you really know the subways your child could get off at the wrong stop. No I just wouldn't see any way of allowing this. At age 12 I'd let her start going with a small group of friends. Gradually I'd let her do it alone with a cell phone. I want my dd to be independent but I also don't want her to be stupid or unsafe. My dd is in fact very independent.

 

[eclectics]

I'm not sure that I'd let my child take the subway alone. But not even playing in the backyard seems a bit extreme to me.

I think this author makes a valid point. We do over protect our kids. It stifles their independence and their ability to take care of themselves.

I'm a bit prejudiced in my informal attitude about supervision because I grew up in a different time.
There were no "play dates". We simply got on our bikes and went out to see our friends. If it happened upon dinnertime, the mom would simply set a place for whatever kid was still hanging around at her house.
We went out to play after dinner and our moms just said "Be home by dark".
We used our imaginations and made up games without computers.
We went out by ourselves around the neighborhood and sold Christmas Wreaths and Candles for the Scouts. We sold Lemonade in the summer and shoveled snow all around town in the winter.

I realize times are VERY different now but I think all kids should experience just a bit of what I did, even if only on a limited basis.

 

[Corryn]

Also a New Yorker, I grew up in The Bronx but spent four years of my young childhood out in CA with my mother. I took the subways at 12 by myself and with my friends. I've been flashed and chased, but the subway was the way to get around, so you just learned to be careful and things happened very very rarely anyway. After the incidents happened, I just laughed them off and Thanked God I didn't get hurt - chaulk it up to experience, right?
One thing a lot of people just don't understand: When you're a single parent and you're working day and night with no family, no friends to help you, your kids learn to grow up fast. I'm not talking about this woman in particular, but situations where kids shuttle themselves on the subway at a young age, or even get up, make breakfast, leave the house and lock the door and walk to school. When I grew up, just about everyone I knew was a latch-key kid (remember that term? I never hear it anymore).
Unfortunately, I have a neighbor (used to be a friend, but she just got too crazy for me) who will not even let her 15 year old daughter leave the fenced in (6 foot fence) backyard. She doesn't even know how to get home from the regular school bus stop so she begged the bus driver to drop her daughter off in front of her house. There's nothing wrong with the girl, our daughters grew up together and her faculties are all there. She even begs her mother for a little freedom, but her mother refuses. The mother is just extremely horrendously over-protective. She does the same thing with her other two kids.

Sorry, off-topic.
Would I let my 9 year old do it? No. Would I let my 12 or 13 year old do it? Yes - I did it and as a New Yorker, it's just normal.
Like the other NYer said, the City gives kids Bus/train passes. That's how the kids get to and from school.

 

[suzannews]

No way!!

But...way back when I was a kid living in NYC, we only had a school bus until the 3rd grade. After that, you either walked the few miles each way to school or you rode the public bus. As someone else mentioned earlier, I remember as a 3rd and 4th grader getting on the subway with my whole class to go on a field trip in the city. Those were the days!

 

[gate_pourri]

I don't have kids, but no way would I allow a 9-year old to take the subway home alone. No way! Perhaps in the mid-teens (14ish?) but not 9.

When I grew up, a young girl (12) in my small country hometown was kidnapped from her bedroom and murdered. You can't keep your kids safe at all times (especially if your own house can be broken into at any moment) but no way would I put my kids into harms way like that!

 

[robinb]

Unfortunately, I have a neighbor (used to be a friend, but she just got too crazy for me) who will not even let her 15 year old daughter leave the fenced in (6 foot fence) backyard. She doesn't even know how to get home from the regular school bus stop so she begged the bus driver to drop her daughter off in front of her house. There's nothing wrong with the girl, our daughters grew up together and her faculties are all there. She even begs her mother for a little freedom, but her mother refuses. The mother is just extremely horrendously over-protective. She does the same thing with her other two kids.

Man, that's really sad. A kid may or may not have a problem on the NYC subway. A kid who is completely smothered by their mom at 15 years old will definitely have problems! My DD walked home two blocks from the bus alone when she was 6. I find it shocking that a mother would not allow a 15 year old the same freedom, no matter where she lived.