Would you let your 7 year old go to WDW without you?

[Disneylover99]

Some families like to have their special experiences be shared. I went to florida with a friend last summer and she refuswd to take her daughters to the beach because her husband wanted to be with them the first time they saw the ocean (They still haven't been).

That sounds selfish to me and a bit ridiculous.

I have another friend that will only do special things like Disney on Ice, pumpkim patvhes, etc., if mom, dad, and all sibs can be there.

Sounds limiting.

It's just what some families perfer. I don't see why it matters so much to everyone else. She is denying her kid a vacation, not food, shelter, love, etc. He won't be any worse for the wear if he misses a vacation, especially one that he doesnt even know about.

People can do whatever they want in their family, but she asked for opinions, that's what she got.

Bottom line....She is denying her child an opportunity just because she can't go. It's her choice, but it's still a selfish reason.

 

[Queen Lee]

OP here. I am not a troll and was genuinely interested in other people's take on the situation and what they would do. I thought that was the kind of the point of these boards. I won't apologize for my feelings about wanting to experience special moments with my kids. I know I do rely on my SIL a lot and trust isn't the issue here. I just don't to miss out on special times with my kids. We will go back to WDW in 3 or 4 years and that will be fine.

Oh, yeah. She does someone a big favor and they laugh behind her back, basically thinking what a sucker she is!

What makes you think I laugh behind her back? I don't understand that.

 

[Vijoge]

People can do whatever they want in their family, but she asked for opinions, that's what she got.

Bottom line....She is denying her child an opportunity just because she can't go. It's her choice, but it's still a selfish reason.[/QUOTE]


I don't think that's the reason, just the excuse. I think she's jealous of the relationship this child has with his aunt.

 

[Vijoge]

OP here. I am not a troll and was genuinely interested in other people's take on the situation and what they would do. I thought that was the kind of the point of these boards. I won't apologize for my feelings about wanting to experience special moments with my kids. I know I do rely on my SIL a lot and trust isn't the issue here. I just don't to miss out on special times with my kids. We will go back to WDW in 3 or 4 years and that will be fine.



What makes you think I laugh behind her back? I don't understand that.

"she loves my kids too much so I'll never lose my free and almost always available child care! Lol!"

Sure looks like you laugh at her generosity to me.

 

[mco65]

The way you described it, YES!!! i would definitely let him go..

BTW, we took our TWINS at 8 months so you don't have to wait until your newborn is 3 or 4...

 

[roseaster]

I never understood why people ask for opinions when they really don't want them. The OP wanted validation for her decision because there is some part of her, even though she, obviously has no respect or appreciation for her SIL, that realizes that she is being selfish.

"I won't lose my free and almost always available child care. LOL" "She should have her own kids."

What horrible things to say behind someone's back.

I'm going to stick with the idea that this is a troll, because it makes me feel better.

 

[Queen Lee]

"she loves my kids too much so I'll never lose my free and almost always available child care! Lol!"

Sure looks like you laugh at her generosity to me.

You are right, that did come across as insensitive, but I wasn't trying to be.

 

[Disneylover99]

I just don't to miss out on special times with my kids. We will go back to WDW in 3 or 4 years and that will be fine.

Any time spent with your children is special. It doesn't have to be at DW. I just feel as a parent, when an opportunity for your child presents itself, you should embrace it, not deny it.

 

[disneyfantotheend]

In your situation, I would let him go. If you have never been with him and wanted to see his first reaction to it all, then no. But he has been before, so I say let him go and you spend some quality bonding time with your daughter while he is gone.

 

[cruisingtwins]

I'm starting to feel for this SIL...

IK,R She is being taken advantage off. No good deed goes unpunished.

 

[Queen Lee]

IK,R She is being taken advantage off. No good deed goes unpunished.

How is she being taken advantage of? We do use her for child care, but she doesn't HAVE to do it, she does it because she loves the kids and loves to spend time with them. I see it as being mutually beneficial to all parties involved, us, her and the kids. Yes, we save a ton of money, but she gets to be way more involved in the kids' lives than she would be if she didn't take care of them so often.

 

[RLGNC]

I suppose I am somewhat of the dissenting opinion here, but I think the OP is getting unfairly attacked. I know she asked for opinions, but I don't think her mind was made up before she posted (although she was obviously leaning one way), and in any case it doesn't make it right to call her names and accuse her of being a bad parent or SIL. OP - although I can't say 100% what I would do if I were in your position, I do understand what you're saying about wanting to experience those special times with your son. No one except for you on this board knows your family dynamics, and so no one should be stating how your SIL will probably feel about the decision or how it will affect your family or your son. The OP asked for our opinions (on this particular decision - not on her parenting style or relationship with her SIL) so that she could make up her mind. The fact that she chose to do the opposite of what most suggested doesn't mean she didn't truly want to hear what others had to say or give others the right to chastise her for the decision which is ultimately hers to make.

 

[PracticallyPerfectPoppins]

I think for some, it's more about comments such as:

"If she wanted these types of trips, she should have had kids of her own." and "She'll get over it. she loves my kids too much so I'll never lose my free and almost always available child care!Lol!"

Granted it's the internet so tones aren't always conveyed properly, but it comes off VERY poorly when the person discussed is someone who was being very generous in taking a child to DW and doing something nice.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

How is she being taken advantage of? We do use her for child care, but she doesn't HAVE to do it, she does it because she loves the kids and loves to spend time with them. I see it as being mutually beneficial to all parties involved, us, her and the kids. Yes, we save a ton of money, but she gets to be way more involved in the kids' lives than she would be if she didn't take care of them so often.

Let me propose something to you. In a few years when you feel all of your children are ready to go to DW. Would you be willing to let your sister come with your family AND pay all of her expenses? Or will you feel that it should be "your own private family time" and NOT treat her to a vacation with the very same children that she devotes a good portion of her life to?

It is my opinion that you are depriving your child of an experience that can never be duplicated due to his age now and the age of your other child. Because as you say, you don't want to take your youngest child to DW for a few more years. Of course this is just MHO.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

I suppose I am somewhat of the dissenting opinion here, but I think the OP is getting unfairly attacked. I know she asked for opinions, but I don't think her mind was made up before she posted (although she was obviously leaning one way), and in any case it doesn't make it right to call her names and accuse her of being a bad parent or SIL. OP - although I can't say 100% what I would do if I were in your position, I do understand what you're saying about wanting to experience those special times with your son. No one except for you on this board knows your family dynamics, and so no one should be stating how your SIL will probably feel about the decision or how it will affect your family or your son. The OP asked for our opinions (on this particular decision - not on her parenting style or relationship with her SIL) so that she could make up her mind. The fact that she chose to do the opposite of what most suggested doesn't mean she didn't truly want to hear what others had to say or give others the right to chastise her for the decision which is ultimately hers to make.

I would agree that attacks are not necessary. However OP has posted some very "telling" statements that reveal her true feelings toward her sister and all she does for her children. I get the impression that she thinks babysitting her children is a privilege. I think many who have commented on here are of the opposite opinion. It is a privilege to have a reliable, trustworthy babysitter. Oh yeah and I almost forgot........a babysitter that LOVES your children and is doing it FREE OF CHARGE.

God bless your sister and the horse she rode in on!

 

[Queen Lee]

Again, I don't feel she is being taken advantage of, since she could say "No, I don't want to watch the kids." Yes, she is a very good babysitter and does a lot with and for the kids, she is also easy going with last minute changes in plans, which I appreciate a lot but that doesn't mean I should automatically let her take my kid on a vacation that I will take him on in a few years.

Let me propose something to you. In a few years when you feel all of your children are ready to go to DW. Would you be willing to let your sister come with your family AND pay all of her expenses? Or will you feel that it should be "your own private family time" and NOT treat her to a vacation with the very same children that she devotes a good portion of her life to?

I don't know if that would work out so well. Paying for her entire vacation seems a bit much to me. Plus we have very different ideas of how a Disney vacation should be. We only like to go to two parks at most when we are there and spend the majority of our time by the pool. I don't know if she would even like that.

 

[mjkacmom]

Again, I don't feel she is being taken advantage of, since she could say "No, I don't want to watch the kids." Yes, she is a very good babysitter and does a lot with and for the kids, she is also easy going with last minute changes in plans, which I appreciate a lot but that doesn't mean I should automatically let her take my kid on a vacation that I will take him on in a few years.



I don't know if that would work out so well. Paying for her entire vacation seems a bit much to me. Plus we have very different ideas of how a Disney vacation should be. We only like to go to two parks at most when we are there and spend the majority of our time by the pool. I don't know if she would even like that.

Wow. She has saved you thousands dollars in childcare, drives you kid to practices, takes him to the dentist, takes him for days at a time, but paying for her to come to WDW with you is too much?! And so what if you spend time and the pool - no need for her to stay by your side. My son just watched my niece and nephews for less than a week - my sister paid his airfare, food, taxi, spending money, and $1000. My mom used to babysit my kids, drive them places, keep them overnight (certainly not on a regular basis, I'm a SAHM and wouldn't take advantage like that), and took her on vacation, as did my sister.

So, SIL "gets" to watch your son at your convenience, but not hers. Would you do the same if it were her kids?

 

[Meeko5]

Why not let sister in law read this thread since you don't think you've said anything wrong on it? I have the feeling she'd see it in a different light.

you're the parent, you get final say. you don't seem keen on him making memories without you anyway. I'm sure he would love to sit home and dote on his baby sibling instead of going to Disney with his super fun awesome aunt

 

[cruisingtwins]

I think for some, it's more about comments such as:

"If she wanted these types of trips, she should have had kids of her own." and "She'll get over it. she loves my kids too much so I'll never lose my free and almost always available child care!Lol!"

Granted it's the internet so tones aren't always conveyed properly, but it comes off VERY poorly when the person discussed is someone who was being very generous in taking a child to DW and doing something nice.

Exactly I don't care you don't want him to go. It's your kid you get to decide where he goes. But those statements are gross and your reasoning for not letting him is gross. I feel sorry for your SIL.

 

[Allison]

Paying for her entire vacation seems a bit much to me.

I would recommend adding up how much in childcare she has saved you over the years and comparing that to the cost of paying for her vacation. You would probably be surprised by the differential.