Would you let your 7 year old go to WDW without you?

[shoney]

Wow, I never imagined I would get such negative responses. I still don't think it is selfish to want to experience the fun times with my kids while they are still young. My son doesn't know that my SIL asked about this trip, so he won't know that he is "missing out". He can still do fun things with his aunt, just not Disney with her.

I also do appreciate what my SIL does for us. I know she saves us a lot of money on child care. I know if she were to stop watching them, we'd have to put them in day care. But I also know she loves hanging out with them. I think she would do it more often if she could, so it is a win-win for both of us. But just because she provides child care, doesn't mean I have to let her take my kid on vacation some place I would enjoy going back to and experiencing special moments with him. I guess I am just surprised how many people said that I should let him go. I thought the responses would have been more evenly split.

But you can still have fun times with your kids and you can go to Disney with them. He has the opportunity for an additional trip with someone he is close to and you trust. I can't imagine saying no!

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

That does sound like a different situation - you said "no", because you didn't feel comfortable, not because you were jealous of missing out. I think one-on-one time with a grandchild or niece/nephew is great (and different than spending time with the child around his/her parents. But, not really at such a young age nor does it have to be somewhere far away (or overnight). I do find the fact that they think that they have a "right" to alone time weird - I totally get having a desire for it or thinking that they have a right to fun alone time if you used them for babysitting etc. (i.e. not so fun alone time), but that doesn't seem to be the case here. I'm not sure that "creepy" is the word I'd use (but I can see why you would), but weird. I'd likely probably have refused as well (but might have suggested a shorter/nearer setting for some alone time - which would give you some free time too).

Agreed weird is a better word. And to elaborate. They live less than 5 miles from us, they had never babysat for us when this occurred. Grandpa (actually Step-Grandpa) wants nothing to do with us or grandkids since that day and Grandma had babysat only 5 times since then and each time was for no more than 4-6 hours. Once was when our 2nd child was born and the others were when we had to attend things that out DD couldn't go to (wedding, funeral, etc.) Needless to say, the relationship soured that day and it never really recovered. The sad thing is we think it is mostly Grandpa's doing and Grandma is suffering now because of it. She still visits DD and DS frequently buy we suspect she is not being truthful to Grandpa about how frequent/how long she visits.

DW recently tried to visit their house with our kids and it didn't go well. They have several large dogs that are not very well-behaved. They are not mean/dangerous dogs in the sense that they bite. But they constantly jump up on people uncontrollably. Sometimes even knocking down adults. When we asked them to put the dogs in a separate room while we were ther so that they wouldn't hurt DD8 and DS18 months, Granpa refused and got in DW face and began yelling at her about how she's paranoid, crazy, etc. I'm thankful I wasn't there to witness this because I probably would have done/said things that I would later regret. I wanted to pay him a visit on my own after this incident but DW talked me out of it. So to summarize, they're pretty much out of their minds if they think we will ever leave our kids alone with them.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

Ok so it looks like OP has gotten many responses to her original question so I'm going to ask a question of my own. I don't mean to thread jack but I'm thinking anyone who responded to this thread will also have an answer to my question.

When our DD was about 1 year old (our first child, she is now 8yo) her grandparents said they would like to take her to Sesame Place for an overnight stay. We replied, "what a great idea, that sounds like fun. When are we going?" They said "no, we don't want you to go with us. We want to take her by ourselves". We were kind of shocked at this and said no. In case your wondering, Sesame Place is about a 4-hour drive from our home and is located in another state. We wanted to get to the bottom of why they didn't want us to go so we explained that we do not expect them to pay for us in any way in case it was just about the $$$. They told us it had nothing to do with money and they just didn't want us to be there because they felt they had a right to have "alone time" with their granddaughter.

So I was hoping for opinions on how others would have handled this situation. Do you think this was a totally reasonable request? Or would you have been a little hesitant given the way it was presented? BTW, grandparents are both in their 60s and are able-bodied healthy people so the physical aspect of carrying/caring for a baby was not an issue. We just found it to be a little creepy that they specifically told us we were NOT welcome to go with them.

I think these are two, very different situations. First of all, I wouldn't have even brought my own DS to Sesame Place when he was 1! IMHO, I think it was completely inappropriate for her grandparents to even suggest this. Yes, I think it's creepy. Driving a 1-year old four hours to a theme park which really isn't conducive to a 1-year old and saying the parents aren't welcome? Um, yeah, no way! If they want alone time with the baby, they can babysit for an evening.

For the OP, when I was 9 years old, my best friend's family asked my parents if I could go with them on a trip to WDW (this was in 1980 and my best friend was an only child). She was my next door neighbor and our families knew each other very well, so my parents said yes. This was before cell phones and we took an AMTRAK train from PA all the way to FL. I had been on other trips with my parents, but never to WDW. In fact, I didn't experience WDW with my dad until I was 18 and my mom never went. I had the most AMAZING time. I still have such fond memories of the time I spent with my friend on the trip. It doesn't mean I love my parents less or cherish less the time I spent traveling other places with them. It was just a different experience with some else that I had a wonderful friendship with. And my parents got postcards and saw photos when I got home.

I would also urge you to consider traveling with your baby if you would like to go on the trip. DS took his first trip to WDW when he was one and we had a lot of fun. There will always be crying children on planes, especially to Orlando. Children cry, it's really not a big deal.

 

[wajones2]

Wow, I never imagined I would get such negative responses... I guess I am just surprised how many people said that I should let him go. I thought the responses would have been more evenly split.

Just as I suspected as the thread progressed. You have your own doubts about holding him back from having fun on his own, b/c you were looking for validation from strangers on the internet.

 

[Allison]

I still don't think it is selfish to want to experience the fun times with my kids while they are still young.

The above and your son going on this trip are not mutually exclusive. Both can be done.

 

[Meeko5]

If she wanted these types of trips, she should have had kids of her own.

Rather harsh don't you think? Maybe she doesn't want kids. maybe she can't have kids.

Yes by all means be sad you won't be there. Be jealous. Throw a pity party for yourself while he's gone. But don't deprive your kid an awesome opportunity just because you can't go

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I think we are being set up and the OP is a troll, at least I hope so.

 

[PracticallyPerfectPoppins]

I think we are being set up and the OP is a troll, at least I hope so.

I sincerely hope so as well.

If not, OP I absolutely think you should let him go. If you are unable or unwilling to travel with the baby, you are denying him the experience for something that is completely out of his control. I know you say you want the memories for yourself, but if you aren't planning on going in the near future, there won't BE memories for him if he isn't permitted to go now. It's not a matter of whether you are taking him or his aunt is, it's a matter of whether he gets to experience it or whether he sits at home because you didn't want him to go. Something to think about If I had a new baby in the house, I would jump at the chance for my older child to go on a special "big boy" trip. Things like that greatly decrease any possibly resentment or adjustment issues. You'll have time to make Disney memories with him in the future.

As for the plane ride, I try to be courteous when I fly with my children, however I also recognize that they are humans just like everyone else on the plane and occasionally cry just like all those humans did when they were young. All you can do is try to mitigate any fussing as best you can. Past that, if people see you are trying your hardest and are still rude, that's on them. I certainly wouldn't allow their opinions of me on a <5 hour plane ride stop me from a great vacation with my family.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I am a bit shocked at how mamy people are upset with OP for not wanting her year old to travel out of state without a parent there. I know the sis in law is a trusted caregiver, but that is still a really long time and really far away. the care of someone else. 7 year olds can barely brush their own teeth.

I"m not saying anyone is wrong to send their kid, but I don't think OP is wrong for keeping him home. Her kid, her decision.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

OP, the gracious thing to do might be to offer to pay for your sister in law to join you on your next trip. That way she can experience the magic with her nephew and niece and you get to be there as well. It would be a good payback for all the free childcare.

 

[Disneylover99]

I am a bit shocked at how mamy people are upset with OP for not wanting her year old to travel out of state without a parent there. I know the sis in law is a trusted caregiver, but that is still a really long time and really far away. the care of someone else. 7 year olds can barely brush their own teeth.

I"m not saying anyone is wrong to send their kid, but I don't think OP is wrong for keeping him home. Her kid, her decision.

Her son has travelled with his aunt for a week before. She is 100% not worried about her son's safety because she completely trusts her. Kudos to her for that.

The issue is that the OP doesn't want him to experience the magic without her. That is selfish.

 

[cruisingtwins]

I don't really see it as selfish to want to be a part of special vacations while my kids are little. Again, they are my kids. If she wanted these types of trips, she should have had kids of her own.

WOW I have no words. I just can't even. Why even post here?

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Her son has travelled with his aunt for a week before. She is 100% not worried about her son's safety because she completely trusts her. Kudos to her for that.

The issue is that the OP doesn't want him to experience the magic without her. That is selfish.

Some families like to have their special experiences be shared. I went to florida with a friend last summer and she refuswd to take her daughters to the beach because her husband wanted to be with them the first time they saw the ocean (They still haven't been). I have another friend that will only do special things like Disney on Ice, pumpkim patvhes, etc., if mom, dad, and all sibs can be there. It's just what some families perfer. I don't see why it matters so much to everyone else. She is denying her kid a vacation, not food, shelter, love, etc. He won't be any worse for the wear if he misses a vacation, especially one that he doesnt even know about.

 

[Vijoge]

Person who started this message here!

Thanks for all your replies and suggestions. I am still not sure if I am going to let him go, but I have been reading all the replies and suggestions and they have given me a lot to think about. My going and taking the baby right now is not an option, so that won't work. I definitely trust my SIL with my son (she is actually written in our will that she is guardian of both kids should something happen to us), so I do feel comfortable with her and feel he would be safe with her. I haven't told my husband about this offer his sister gave and I am not sure if he'd go for it either. I plan to talk about it with him over the weekend, as he is away on business until Friday. He is not a Disney fan so I don't know what his response will be.

Thanks again for the responses!

When my kids were young they went away to summer camp without me every year. They also flew, unaccompanied, out of state to visit relatives. They're grown now and I vacation with their children. Three of the kids and I are going to WDW in January, but we've also taken them on road trips and cruises without their parents. One time we did leave one of the girls behind (she was 5 at the time) because she was going through a "wake-up-at-night-crying-for-mommy stage". If he wants to go, I say let him, and be grateful for your sister's kind offer.

 

[SirDuff]

Some families like to have their special experiences be shared. I went to florida with a friend last summer and she refuswd to take her daughters to the beach because her husband wanted to be with them the first time they saw the ocean (They still haven't been). I have another friend that will only do special things like Disney on Ice, pumpkim patvhes, etc., if mom, dad, and all sibs can be there. It's just what some families perfer. I don't see why it matters so much to everyone else. She is denying her kid a vacation, not food, shelter, love, etc. He won't be any worse for the wear if he misses a vacation, especially one that he doesnt even know about.

She won't be any worse for the wear if she misses a vacation either.

 

[Vijoge]

When our DD was about 1 year old (our first child, she is now 8yo) her grandparents said they would like to take her to Sesame Place for an overnight stay. We replied, "what a great idea, that sounds like fun. When are we going?" They said "no, we don't want you to go with us. We want to take her by ourselves". We were kind of shocked at this and said no.

I suppose it depends on what kind of relationship you have with them. When my youngest granddaughter was born five years ago we kept her overnight when she was three days old. We've always traveled with the kids as infants and beyond. During the summer they're here more than they're home. Their parents have never set any limits on where we can take them.

 

[PracticallyPerfectPoppins]

I'm just wondering why the OP asked for suggestions in the first place?

 

[Vijoge]

I don't understand why you feel sorry for my kids. They get to see their aunt on a regular basis and have a great relationship with her.

And my SIL does do fun things with the kids all the time. Mostly outings when she is watching them (I don't tell her she has to stay in the house with them for 9 hours a day...that would be insane!) But she also asks to take my son to do fun things sometimes when she's not "officially babysitting" and some times we let her sometimes we say no, depending what's going on. That's just life. I assume she gets that. If not, that's her issue.

I don't really see it as selfish to want to be a part of special vacations while my kids are little. Again, they are my kids. If she wanted these types of trips, she should have had kids of her own.

They are your kids. Maybe you should stay home and take care of them yourself. If you weren't willing to do this maybe you shouldn't have had them.

So my husband and I decided not to let my son go. He can go in a few years with us when his sister is a little bit older. I told my SIL, who was disappointed. She asked us to reconsider, giving the reason that we use her in our place quite frequently so we must trust her. We told her that wasn't the issue. We just don't want him to go without us. She'll get over it and lucky for me, she loves my kids too much so I'll never lose my free and almost always available child care! Lol!

Don't be so sure. When SIL wakes up and realizes you consider allowing her to babysit for free is a granted privilege she may feel differently. Not toward the kids, but I'm betting she'll be seeing you in a different light.

 

[PracticallyPerfectPoppins]

I'm starting to feel for this SIL...

 

[Vijoge]

I'm starting to feel for this SIL...

Oh, yeah. She does someone a big favor and they laugh behind her back, basically thinking what a sucker she is!