Would you let your 10 year old do this?

[tiggerlover]

We live in a large neighborhood community association, there are three pools/playgrounds and tennis courts that we may use as part of paying our yearly fees. One of the pools is within walking distance of our house (from the end of my driveway I can look down the street and see the pool parking lot). Now that DS is 10 he is allowed (by the association's determination) to go to the pool unaccompanied as long as he has his pass. Would you allow your 10 year old to go to the pool without you? We would either walk him there, drop him off or cross the street with him, but we would leave him there alone (or with friends). {And the pool is attended by at least 2, if not 3 lifeguards.} DS has asked to do this and DH is on board with certain conditions, but I am still hesitant. I told DS I would think about it and let him know. So what do you think?

 

[NAB]

I would let my 10 year old but I know he can swim well and know that he would be responsible in the pool. I would also only alow this because you said their are life guards on duty if their wasn't no way. You are always taught to go in pairs so if one gets in trouble you have help.

 

[JadenLayne]

I'm probably the wrong one to ask because I just now this year let my 14 year old go alone. HOWEVER the difference in yours and ours is we have NO lifeguards. With lifeguards and depending on how he swims I would think about it. 10 is awfully young though. I just don't think I could do it but I'm a self proclaimed over protective mom.

 

[tiggerlover]

I'm probably the wrong one to ask because I just now this year let my 14 year old go alone. HOWEVER the difference in yours and ours is we have NO lifeguards. With lifeguards and depending on how he swims I would think about it. 10 is awfully young though. I just don't think I could do it but I'm a self proclaimed over protective mom.

I am an overprotective mom too, that is why I am struggling to make a decision. He is a decent swimmer and goes swimming at camp M-F and if there weren't any lifeguards I would say no way also, but since there are I am considering it. Since I can be overprotective I wanted to see what the majority on the DIS thought.

 

[paigevz]

No, I wouldn't. I have only allowed my son to go swimming without me once with a youth group and I was a nervous wreck, and he was 11. Lifeguards can get distracted or complacent. It wouldn't be worth it to me to worry that much. But I bet he'd drive me nuts if that was our rule here! Here it's 18, but there are no lifeguards.

 

[LBAK]

I would allow my 10 yo DD to go. I know she can swim and if there were lifeguards I'd have no problems with that.

 

[Laurajean1014]

Some factors before giving opinion:

Can the 10yo swim very well?
Is th 10yo a mature or responsible person?
Are the lifeguards respectable to the children and do they do there job?

These, to me are important factors before making the decision.

 

[tiggerlover]

Some factors before giving opinion:

Can the 10yo swim very well?
Is th 10yo a mature or responsible person?
Are the lifeguards respectable to the children and do they do there job?

These, to me are important factors before making the decision.

DS swims well enough, if I am there with him I am comfortable reading a book while he swims, I do not need to keep my eye on him constantly.

DS is responsible as much as any other 10 year old can be and he tends to err on the side of caution (probably because of me).

The lifeguards appear respectable, today when we were there we saw 3 boys spashing other residents in the pool and the one lifeguard called the three to the side of the pool and nicely told them they couldn't do that.

 

[MamaLema]

DS is turning 10 in the fall and I wouldn't let him go.

He's a very good swimmer but you never know when he'll get a cramp in his leg, or something else happens beyond his control.

I guess I feel this way because DS7 came close to drowning at Typhoon Lagoon and the lifeguard didn't even realize it even though the lifeguard seemed to be looking right in this area. I was the one who dived in the water and got him.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I wouldn't let my nephew who is 10, but that is mostly because he is pretty imature. He just learned to swim and he really needs someone around him to "remind" him to keep his behavior in check. He is a good kid, just doesn't think as much as he should before he acts and tends to be a bit hyper. I know a number of other kids that when they were 10 years old I would let them. I also think I would pop in and see how things were going.

You know your son best.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Just a thought here.

My son is not that old yet. But, I think that this applies to boys of all ages.
When I am with my son, he is COMPLETELY well behaved and responsible.

But, what I want to point out is the 'pack mentality'

Get a group of three for four boys together without a watchful parents eyes, and they seem to automatically lose all sense of caution and responsibility. You know, boys will be boys... Rough-housing, daring each other, pushing limits, etc..

While I am with DS, I could also be 'reading a book' or whatever. I usually do not have to worry at all. But, as soon as my DS were to get with a couple other boys, without that feeling that I am 'watching', then he is much less aware of common sense, limits, etc...

Also, even if YOUR son is the perfect well behaved kid 99.999% of the time, it might be the other kids who are begging their parents to let them go to the pool by themselves that you want to be more concerned about.

Actually, I am surprised that a pool would have a policy allowing children that young to be unaccompanied.

 

[golfgal]

We let our kids start riding their bikes to the pool when they were 10 (not alone but with each other or other kids). Our pool "drop off" age was 8 but I thought that was too young. I was comfortable with them going without me when they were 10. Our pool had lifeguards and having seen them in action I was comfortable with their supervision.

 

[SadieDog]

DS swims well enough, if I am there with him I am comfortable reading a book while he swims, I do not need to keep my eye on him constantly.

DS is responsible as much as any other 10 year old can be and he tends to err on the side of caution (probably because of me).

The lifeguards appear respectable, today when we were there we saw 3 boys spashing other residents in the pool and the one lifeguard called the three to the side of the pool and nicely told them they couldn't do that.

This tends to make me believe you should give it a try and let him go alone.

 

[MushyMushy]

Marseeya here, under my new username.

Wishing makes a good point. If that's a possible concern, maybe you could let it be known that you'll be watching him randomly and follow up on it. Show up unannounced!

For me, it depends on the kid. My DS, I wouldn't have had a problem doing that with the condition that he knows how to swim, he goes with a friend, and I have to be home or very close by. He was a very cautious kid at that age and acted with a decent level of maturity (unlike now! )

With DD, it's an absolute no. She's not nearly mature enough and it would scare me to death to give her that level of trust.

 

[tiggerlover]

I really appreciate all of your replies. Would love to hear from more of you.

I do agree there would have to be some guidelines that DS would have to adhere to and I would definitely be dropping in unexpectedly (probably more than once) to be sure all was well. I am still not sure what I will do, but I feel myself leaning towards giving it a try, but I am still not convinced that is the right thing to do.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that you should trust your instincts. If you think that he's not ready (or if you're not ready ) then wait a while. But you will have to let him eventually (which stinks I know).

 

[disneymom3]

You know, I wouldn't worry about the swimming thing with lifeguards on duty. I would still hesitate and would be hesitating knowing I should probably let him go. KWIM? I think I would do it based on if the pool is locked and only residents can get in as well as what kind of controls there are for guests etc. I would be more worried about other harm coming to him than the water issue. (Solely because there are lifeguards.) I'm mom to a girl though, so I might think differently when my boys are older, I don't know.

 

[PlutoPony]

Do you have walkie talkies he could take and check in periodically with you? He'd have to think of you regularly to check in, and maybe that would also encourage him to "remember" the behavior expected of him (does that make sense?) I think that would work for my DS and he's 11 and pretty responsible...

 

[Disney Doll]

How about letting him go alone, and then talking a walk down there in 15-20 minutes to see how he is doing?

 

[crazee4mickey]

Reasons why I wouldn't be comfortable sending my DS who is 10----
1. because I would worry the entire time
2. he's only 10, the lifeguards are not babysitters, they have jobs to do. Sending a child without supervision just adds to their list of responsibilites and really it isn't their job to look after young children