Would you leave a 9-year-old while you go on a ride?

[balletomane]

Planning a trip for me and my two kids. My 9 year old does not do any big rides - like not even Splash or 7DMT. My 13 year old loves them, and I feel bad thinking about him ride them all by himself. I was thinking maybe for some rides I could go on with him and leave my daughter at the exit of the ride where we will be coming out? Obviously not if it's a long wait, but say 10-15 min. Max. What do you think??

Absolutely not. Would you leave a large bag of money there and expect it to be there when you return? How much is your child worth to you? That's how *I* look at it....since you asked.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Planning a trip for me and my two kids. My 9 year old does not do any big rides - like not even Splash or 7DMT. My 13 year old loves them, and I feel bad thinking about him ride them all by himself. I was thinking maybe for some rides I could go on with him and leave my daughter at the exit of the ride where we will be coming out? Obviously not if it's a long wait, but say 10-15 min. Max. What do you think??

I think it very much depends on the individual child in question and how confident you are that they will do as they're told and stay in one place.

Is it possible to maybe do some of those bigger rides during a morning or evening emh when the waits could bE as minimal as possible? (Being the for the very open of AM emh, or the end of evening emh)

 

[Magpie]

I think it is important to understand Disney is not as safe as one would think. Unfortunitly I learned the hard way. My daughter was violated at Disney. She was taught how to handle situations. She did not respond in the way I would expect. She said she was having a hard time processing what was happening and what to do. It was while she was on the Stitch ride. I was there with her one seat away, and she was sitting by her baby sister. It was during the dark part of the ride. I learned the hard way that Disney is not seperate from the world and predators lurk everywhere. We reported it immediately and police were called. The police officer informed me it happens more then one would think at Disney. She gave a discription of the guy but they were un able to locate him on the cameras. It isn't so much about a nine year old and if she can handle it, but more about the sick people realizing she's sitting alone.

It makes me sick to think not only did this wacko get away with it, but that another family may also learn that even the happiest place on earth can have a dark side.

Maybe you could offer a deal with her to try a ride and you can reward her with something special. Watch videos before hand to reassure her it's ok. I would not recommend leaving her alone anywhere in Disney at 9 alone.

My sympathies to your daughter! That must have been very upsetting to you all.

The fact is, a child, teenager or adult can be touched inappropriately anywhere at any time, even if you are by their side 24/7. My daughter started riding the public city bus to school when she was in grade nine, and we practiced saying, "HEY!" really loud if ever she felt a hand go where a hand don't belong. I emphasized to her that she would feel shock and confusion, and the best way to deal is to channel it all into a nice loud exclamation. The only person who will be embarrassed is the person touching you inappropriately. We roleplayed this several times.

I knew she could make it work, because she had already got cornered once in a grocery store when she was nine, running an errand for me. The man was crowding up behind her when she was looking at something on a shelf, and when she turned around, he stepped even closer (almost touching) and leered at her. So she looked up at him and said, "EXCUSE ME! Can I HELP you?" Apparently she was so loud, he jumped back and everyone around turned to stare at him. He retreated quickly and my daughter finished her shopping and came home with her feathers a bit ruffled, but otherwise pleased with herself.

Btw, I'm curious, since I've ridden Stitch several times... It's only dark for a moment, and everyone is locked into their individual seats. Did this person somehow get out of their seat, or were they seated next to your daughter and reached over? Being grabbed in the dark must have been terrifying, poor kid.

As far as the OP goes... yes, I would absolutely have allowed my kids at nine to exit at the chicken exit and wait for me at the end of the ride. That's assuming, of course, that we'd gone to look at the exit together already. If they had a cellphone, even better. I let my son go to Disney with a friend's family when he was 11. While he was there, he and a nine year old girl got separated from their group. They asked a nearby castmember for help and were shortly reunited with their adults. As long as any nine year old in my care was capable of at least that much, then I wouldn't worry about letting them out of my sight for a few minutes.

(That said, I WAS a bit uncomfortable letting my seven and nine year olds roam Tom Sawyer Island on their own, on our first trip. It was all new, and there were dark tunnels, and for some reason I was sure they were going to get lost and, I dunno... kidnapped by pirates or something. The next trip, at nine and eleven, I was much more relaxed and just told them to stick together.)

 

[SoarinSC]

Me, I wouldn't do it. Disney is hectic and a lot can happen. I'd let my older one ride alone.

 

[Angel Ariel]

You have asked what I would be comfortable with, so don't take this as me judging or preaching about others.

No. I would not do it. My priority would be to comfort and protect the younger child and give the independence to the older child. Whichever child that is left alone will have a certain feeling. The younger child, if left alone, would feel guilty or sad for creating the divisive situation. The older child, if left alone, would probably not have these feelings and instead might feel grown up and independent. Between those two feelings, I would try to avoid the former.

I think this is a bit oversimplified. There are 9 year olds who could see it as "hey, mom trusts me by myself, I like this little bit of independence" and also a 13 y/o could quite easily resent a younger sibling if they have to ride *every* big ride alone because mom has to be with the younger kid. I say this as a younger sibling whose older sibling definitely resented when our parents spent more time with me (for whatever reason) than they did with him.

There's a whole myriad of feelings that a 9 year old and a 13 y/o could have on this subject, and it is very dependent on the individual child and the family dynamic.

There are definitely 9 year olds I would never consider leaving alone to ride something. But there are also 13 year olds I wouldn't let go off alone, and 9 year olds I would allow to have a small bit of independence.

I think the compromise of going through the line together, which is the majority of the wait, and the 9 year old taking the chicken exit is a good compromise (provided the 9 year old's height allows her in line).

 

[AP1209]

For the typical 9 year old its shouldn't be a problem. We actually left my 11 year old for the 1st time on our last trip. She didn't feel like going on POTC so we had her wait in the gift shop exit. We gave her my wife's phone to call us just in case. Everything went smooth.

 

[famy27]

Absolutely not. Would you leave a large bag of money there and expect it to be there when you return? How much is your child worth to you? That's how *I* look at it....since you asked.

Of course my child is worth more than a bag of money. But my child is not an inanimate object and has the ability to think and speak for herself. At some point, she is going to move out of my house and live independently. I do what I can to prepare her for that as we go. To me, that means allowing her controlled freedom. Is it without risk? I suppose not. But nothing is risk-free. Eating, taking baths, and riding in cars are all probably statistically riskier than her sitting on a bench at a theme park.

So, I don't judge anyone who wouldn't allow their kids to do this, but it certainly doesn't seem to be any kind of negligent or unwise parenting in my book.

 

[TJDisneymama]

Absolutely not. Would you leave a large bag of money there and expect it to be there when you return? How much is your child worth to you? That's how *I* look at it....since you asked.

lol, well a bag of money can't kick and scream and bite like my daughter would, lol.
Seriously, her getting stolen is not even on the top 100 things I might worry about. I'm thinking more along the lines of the ride breaks down and we're stuck for an hour.

 

[Lothlórien]

Personally, I would have never left my 9-year-old. Having said that, that is the way I parent and the choice I would make for my family. You have to do what you know is best for yours. This is really something you should decide based upon your best judgement for the situation.

 

[balletomane]

lol, well a bag of money can't kick and scream and bite like my daughter would, lol.
Seriously, her getting stolen is not even on the top 100 things I might worry about. I'm thinking more along the lines of the ride breaks down and we're stuck for an hour.

You asked and I gave my reply while you all flame me. Just told you what I thought. How would I know how your child would respond? I say that you do not know how your child would respond until it occurs. After working in a hospital for so long, I've seen and heard all...just sayin'. Heard from many reluctant parents. Why ask if you already know what you want to do?

 

[mjkacmom]

Absolutely not. Would you leave a large bag of money there and expect it to be there when you return? How much is your child worth to you? That's how *I* look at it....since you asked.

I'm curious, as the parent of five independent teens, at what point are they human beings capable of thought, Vs. inanimate objects?

 

[JaimeK]

Well, I sent my 7 year old off to the chicken exit with a wave when he changed his mind about riding at the last moment... so I would, and have, and all was well.

 

[TJDisneymama]

Why ask if you already know what you want to do?

I didn't/don't know what I will do (it's 7 months away) and I'm glad I DID ask because I didn't even realize the chicken exit was a viable option. Now that I have read these replies I think I would NOT be comfortable leaving her in a spot near the exit at all (not because I'm afraid she will get kidnapped), but that could add an extra 15-20 minutes onto the time she is alone. But with the chicken exit, we're talking 3-4 minutes tops (well....unless it's a longer ride like Splash Mtn.) That makes much more sense. And I would for sure give her DS's phone, in case I did get stuck on the ride and had to notify her.

 

[Jennygt]

No I would not be comfortable doing that with my 9 year old, too many variables.

 

[AllieBoo]

No, I definitely would not.

 

[Lothlórien]

lol, well a bag of money can't kick and scream and bite like my daughter would, lol.
Seriously, her getting stolen is not even on the top 100 things I might worry about. I'm thinking more along the lines of the ride breaks down and we're stuck for an hour.

It sounds as if your mind was already made up and you were posting to elicit conversation on the topic?! You have to do what you know to be best and what you are comfortable with. In the big scheme of things, what a bunch of people on a message board think about it really does not matter, but if you come and ask, you are going to get opinions that differ from yours. It comes with the territory.

 

[AllieBoo]

You asked and I gave my reply while you all flame me. Just told you what I thought. How would I know how your child would respond? I say that you do not know how your child would respond until it occurs. After working in a hospital for so long, I've seen and heard all...just sayin'. Heard from many reluctant parents. Why ask if you already know what you want to do?

I totally agree with you!

 

[SnipsNSnails]

No, but my 9 yo is easily distracted. We lost him at least 3 times on this last trip and his 7 yo brother not once. And that was with 5-7 adults trying to keep track of him! Once was not his fault, but the other two times it was him getting distracted as we walked through a gift shop and darting off. But no, I couldn't tell him to stand somewhere and trust that he would still be there. I'm sure other kids his age would do just fine with it. If you do it, go scout out the spot to stand and be very specific and clear. I can still remember the time my younger brother was lost for 2 hours because of a miscommunication as to the meeting spot. He was 16 at the time but it was before everyone had a cell phone. MK was closing and we couldn't find him. He was faithfully waiting in what he thought was the designated spot and so was my dad, just not the same spot!

 

[aaarcher86]

Yeah, I would. I'd leave my 8 year old, but I do think it depends on the kid. I could trust her to hang, not freak out about the wait or being by herself, and not get into trouble. She stays at the dance studio by herself and is responsible for getting to the proper classes, etc. She's mature. My 10 year old I wouldn't - I don't trust her not to get into trouble.

I'd probably give her my phone or my husband's phone in case she needed something or go overly worried, but if I didn't have that option I'd still let her chill by herself with her Kindle for a few. That thing will keep her entertained for an entire day - a single ride? No problem.

Absolutely not. Would you leave a large bag of money there and expect it to be there when you return? How much is your child worth to you? That's how *I* look at it....since you asked.

Lol - a tad dramatic I think.

 

[Annadesu]

Just make the kids wait in line with you, and then make them wait at the exit during the actual ride. Who knows, maybe they'll change their mind if the older sibling talks them into it.